Monday, August 20, 2007

Ron Price and Lord Voldemort: THE SAME MAN?!

Over the weekend I was re-reading through parts of the Harry Potter books and something really scary crossed my mind. It turns out that there are numerous striking similarities between Harry's arch-nemesis Lord Voldemort, and disgraced Rockingham County Board of Education member Ron Price (the admitted thief and loather of public participation).

Consider...

- Lord Voldemort has no friends. Ron Price couldn't find a friend or relative who would hold his Bible as he was being sworn-in for the school board.

- Lord Voldemort conned many people into thinking that he was a charming man. Ron Price conned many people into thinking that he was a "conservative" Christian.

- Lord Voldemort is fixated on himself and sees everyone else as a potential threat. Ron Price is fixated on himself and has said that "I've learned who my opponents are and who will work with me."

- Lord Voldemort and Ron Price are both mad with power.

- Lord Voldemort and Ron Price both lash out against those who oppose them: Voldemort tries to destroy Harry Potter and Price is trying to destroy the Moores.

- Lord Voldemort's mad schemes were opposed by the Order of the Phoenix. Ron Price's mad schemes have been opposed by P.O.T.S.M.O.D. (People Opposed To Standard Mode Of Dress).

- Lord Voldemort speaks Parseltongue. Ron Price speaks Neocon with a forked tongue.

- Lord Voldemort steals valuable items and hides them around England. Ron Price steals valuable items and hides them in the trunk of his car.

- Lord Voldemort hates Half-bloods and believes they are bad for the Wizarding world. Ron Price hates common people who take a stand and has called them "bad for the community".

- Lord Voldemort wants to have control of one school. Ron Price wants to have control of one school system.

- To stay forever young Lord Voldemort uses Horcruxes. To look forever young Ron Price uses... well, we'll let you judge for yourself.

- And last but certainly not least...

"TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE"
becomes the anagram
"I AM LORD VOLDEMORT"

while

"RONALD FILER PRICE"
becomes the anagram
"IRONCLAD PILFERER"

!!!

Maybe we should start referring to Ron Price as "He Who Should NOT Be Named"...?

5 comments:

Blue said...

You forgot one.

- Lord Voldemort announces evil actions with the Dark Mark. Ron Price announces evil actions with Doug Hux.

qemuel said...

HA! Excellent!

Anonymous said...

You're having too much fun with this Chris. We want more! Roast that fake good!

Anonymous said...

WOW RON PRICE LOOKS JUST LIKE VOLDEMORT TOO JUST WITH (COLORED) HAIR HA HA HA

Anonymous said...

too funny!