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Thursday, March 31, 2005

I'm tired of this. It's why I don't fit into this world anymore...

...I'm talking about the factionalism.

It occurred to me during my extended absence that nobody "matters" in this world unless they belong to a faction of some kind or another. A person isn't supposed to be their own unique individual being anymore. In fact, "individualism" is a vastly scorned and ridiculed concept: you are either "with US" or "with THEM"... or you don't exist at all.

I said in my last post that it hit me that there are three kinds of people in this world: Those that Want to Control, Those that Want to Be Controlled, and Those that Are Out of Control. The first two are the vast majority of this world... well, of America and the western world anyway. They're for people that either want a sense of being part of something bigger than they are, or they want to exploit the desire for that sense. But invariably it comes back to people who are too scared to stand - alone if need be - on their own two legs for their own identity.

Inevitably, without fail, factionalism arises from this.

And it never occurs to these people - it's downright ALIEN to their concept of the universe even - that they have no idea why it is that they fall so obligingly in lock-step with their faction... or even why it is that they should hate "the opposing faction".

Think about it: Democrats hate Republicans. Republicans hate Democrats. Conservatives hate Liberals and Liberals hate Conservatives. Christians hate non-Christians... yes they do, I've seen it: too many claim to "love their enemies" but listen to how they talk about "those evil Liberals". By politicizing it they make the hatred excusable. And non-Christians hate Christians in kind. Protestants hate Catholics and Catholics hate Protestants: what, you think the fighting in Northern Ireland is really about interpretation of scripture and not a thing about power and dominance?! Israelis and Palestinians hate each other because their leaders tell them to hate and it never dawns on either of them that minus some very STUPID and regularly INSANE "leadership" on both sides that they wouldn't be hating each other at all.

Damn it, people hate other people and they don't even ask themselves why? They just do it and don't give a flying rat's ass that they hate without purpose or even real focus.

I'm not like that anymore. Some things happened that opened my eyes to all of this and, there's no going back. It's impossible now. I thought I knew the way things were and for the most part I did. Then I saw a little bit more and understood that we've all been fools. And I count myself among the most foolish for spending too much time and energy on things stemming from this factionalism. I couldn't go back now even if I wanted to... and I don't really care to anyway.

You see, I'm now under no man's control. And I do not seek to have control over others. I am one of those that exist outside of control.

So will anyone fault me if I say that the burning engine of rage in my heart is now focused on bringing as many people as I can out of control also?

Yes, I know that could be considered a kind of control too. But I think it's more a matter of causing as much chaos and mischief as one's sense of morality would allow and let things settle from there. Things are too balanced in this world: maybe someone should unbalance them. Send everything toppling to the ground and hopelessly irretrievable by the factionalists, and the wardogs, and the hatemongers, and the soothsayers, and the purveyors of meaningless pageantry that passes for enlightened culture.

I am now more free than I've ever been before, in my life.

People like this usually get targetted by those that lack the courage to reach out with only the same strength we had to break free, and do likewise. Maybe it comes from the presence of Those Free being a threat to their mild "comfort zones" but I'm inclined to believe it's more a matter of jealousy: we did what they can not do for themselves. And they will hate us for that.

Like I said last time, those of us that are out of control are going to have to figure out what we are supposed to do with the rest: with those under control but especially with those that want to control. I think those that LIKE having power over other people are long overdue for a serious kick in the ass...

...don't you?

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

"Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated"

It was brought to my attention this morning that people on some websites are saying that I'm dead.

One place is even saying that I committed suicide. Didn't know I was the kind of guy whose extended absence elicited that kind of concern.

I'm still here. Had to leave for awhile and look into some things that warranted an extended departure from any online activity. Didn't intend on spending forty days in the wilderness... but there you have it.

I was away. And discovered some things. Lots of things. Including one that has had immense ramifications on my personal life and some of the responsibilities that, though they aren't demanded by this circumstance it does leave me morally compelled to figure out how to use this selflessly. There's no need to say anything more about that for now: sometimes the better part of chivalry is knowing when NOT to raise the sword.

And I've come back maybe a little more wiser.

There are only three types of people in this world: those who want to control, and those who want to be controlled.

So it's left to those of us who are out of control to figure out just what exactly we are supposed to do with them.

I'm not going to write here anymore about George W. Bush. Or at least focus any of my time on him unless he does something REALLY outrageously criminal. He's not the problem. He's merely a symptom of the problem, and there would be another symptom to replace him were he to be removed. Besides, who am I to condemn the moral lapses of one branch of the family? We made our choice, just as his made theirs. Let God judge which among us was the truer - and more noble - servant.

Y'all should look into your own family history sometime. There's no telling what you might find.

More later...