I am both proud of myself and a little let down. I only wrote one new chapter for my book this past week.
Maybe I should forgive myself?
For my own account of things, my life is still being impacted by Hurricane Helene, an hour or so south of the true devastation. A few days ago on Friday I saw my psychiatrist and got refill prescriptions for my medication. I assumed the scripts were sent over to the pharmacy as usual. When I went to pick up the refills early that evening however, the pharmacy was closed and there was a note on the door saying that their Internet was down and they couldn't fill prescriptions at all. I had gotten an automated text from the pharmacy several days earlier, saying the hurricane had knocked out their computers. I just assumed they would have been back in business already.
That was a wrong assumption on my part.
There was one med in particular that I was all out of. I was counting on getting the refill. And I needed that med.
It might have been a long shot but I drove to the emergency room of the nearby hospital and explained my situation to them. It was a very good idea, because a little less than an hour later they gave me an Rx for a "bridge" of the med I needed to get me through the next week. A quick visit to the CVS practically next door to the hospital later and I had my medication.
That emergency averted, I went home and plopped down and tried to write something, anything. Before I knew it I was working on a new chapter. It's the final one of part two, which covers a nine-years span of my life. I completed it last night. And there are going to be some edits and revisions but the basic endoskeleton is in place at least. I'm happy with it.
I'm going to try to write some more today, before my week begins in earnest and the opportunity to write before Saturday becomes diminished. I'm supplementing my typical work with a part-time job, it lets me engage with more personal projects on weeknights and long weekends. Maybe I'll get to knock something else out before returning to that job tomorrow.
The past few days will go down in history. The comparison I keep hearing is that "this is our Katrina" and that's not inaccurate at all.
If God saw fit to humble us, He certainly did with Hurricane Helene.
As I write this it's almost 7:30 pm EST on October 1st, 2024. I was away from the house for much of the day so I don't know when exactly the juice came back on but when I returned an hour ago the power was restored. It had been out since a little before 8 on Friday morning, four and a half days ago. So that's about a hundred hours that we were without electricity.
I drove around the area on Friday night. Didn't get too far. There were big trees fallen all over the place, across the roadways. I've never seen so many power lines down.
I had to conserve battery power on the various devices, like my phone and iPad. Yesterday morning I ventured out and got to the library in downtown Spartanburg, found a spot on the floor next to a wall outlet and recharged the phone. I've been limiting its use, employing it only when absolutely necessary. Because there was no telling when power would come back to our homes.
My dog and I are in upstate South Carolina. And it could have been much worse.
Asheville, North Carolina is a little less than an hour to our north. As of this evening I-40 going east out of the city is open but nothing else. The town is pretty much unreachable except by helicopter (Asheville Regional Airport is starting to get supply flights coming in but that's a bit far from the city limits). At last count more than 60 people are dead from the storm in Buncombe County.
Half an hour to our west, we have friends in Greenville. They have been without power since Friday.
The town of Chimney Rock has been wiped off the map.
Sections of highways in the western part of North Carolina have been destroyed.
Local schools are out until Monday next week. Remote learning via Internet is also out.
The power crews are working around the clock to restore electricity. They have come in from all up and down the country and some have arrived from Canada. They can't possibly be appreciated enough.
As for my own account...
Restricting the use of devices meant that it would be unwise to write, no matter how creative I was feeling. And the only flashlight I have is on my iPhone. So I spent the daylight hours doing lots of reading. I try to read George Orwell's 1984 every few years and I was behind on that so Sunday afternoon I was engorged in that novel. And yesterday, for whatever reason, I started re-reading Helter Skelter. I did write a bit for my book, the old-fashioned way: with a pen and notebook. So I guess it can be said that my attempt to contribute to the world's literature is sort of a multimedia effort.
It's been a wild past few days. And I was expecting the power to be restored sometime late Friday. So I'm very thankful that it's back.
I've been through hurricanes a number of times in my life. Helene topped them all. For it to come this far inland and still packing a punch is almost a freak occurrence. It's being called a one-in-a-thousand-year catastrophe.
And that's pretty much my report. Going to spend the rest of the evening getting my bearings back, take a LONG hot shower, give my dog Tammy some love and treats, maybe watch a movie.
Helene has certainly made me thankful for things that we too often take for granted. And like I said, it could have been worse here.
Thoughts and prayers going up and out for everyone who's been affected by this storm.
Well, this turned into something interesting. My home is in the upstate of South Carolina. Three days ago the entire western Carolinas region got slammed hard by Hurricane Helene. I lost power on Friday morning about 7:30 and 77 hours later it still hasn't been restored. Based on what I saw on the way to the library in downtown Spartanburg this morning, it may be days if not weeks before power is turned back on 100%.
This was a catastrophe on the same level as Hurricane Katrina. Our kids will be telling their grandchildren about this one.
So I wasn't able to work most of the weekend, because power is out. Until yesterday when I started writing in a notebook with a pen, jotting some thoughts down that will go into further chapters. It will honestly be able to be said that I worked on this book through a hurricane.
Anyhoo, since last week I have been able to fully write one chapter, along with editing the previous one and the aforementioned bits and pieces that have been jotted down.
And that's pretty much it, for now.
Almost a month ago I posted about the status of my book, something that had been on the back burner of my life for ten years now. Work on it has taken various forms, there had been progress made only for that to be tossed aside... well, it's been a mess, not to put TOO fine a point on it.
Things are very, very different now and have been for much of this past year. A few months ago I had a breakthrough moment and was able to crank out the first few chapters of the story of my life. That has led to more, and more.
Maybe it will help to keep me on track to post a status of this memoir's progress, say each week on Sunday. Perhaps that will encourage me to stay committed.
Here it is as of September 22nd, 22024: so far, not counting the preface, there are fifteen chapters that have been written. I spent most of this past week working on one, that had really been making me struggle. It's still considered a VERY rough draft but early word that a dear friend I shared it with is that it's good.
There are going to be at least six parts. Part one is complete. There are five chapters done so far for part five, which is currently titled "Three Months and Three Ladies". I'm not writing this book in sequential order. Just working on it as the Muse leads me.
There is still a lot of work to be done. Ideally I would be producing two to three chapters a week, but I'll be happy if it's even just one. This book is finally getting the attention I needed to lavish upon it. It's not going to be rushed. But when it's finished, I will have written my life story, as well as such things are possible.
And that's how things stand now.
4 8 15 16 23 42
It was twenty years ago tonight - September 22, 2004 - that arguably the greatest television series of the new millennium premiered.
Lost was an instant sensation and for six seasons its tale of the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 gripped the world's consciousness. ABC's hit broke all the rules, subverted expectations, and cooked long-held tropes like so many White Castle hamburgers. Lost was television of the highest order of storytelling. Yes, its story ended without every mystery getting a solid answer... and many maddeningly unresolved. But some things should be left to the imagination and Lost certainly provided viewers with fresh new enigmas seemingly every week to ruminate upon.
I think that Lost wasn't so much about the riddles as it was about the characters. That was the greatest ensemble cast assembled in the modern history of the medium and they brought to life some incredibly deep and multi-layered personas. My most favorite character was John Locke: the crippled "man of faith" who inexplicably regained the ability to walk after Oceanic 815 crashed on the island. There was so much about him that resonated with me. And I also came to have some sympathy for Benjamin Linus, perhaps the most flawed of the show's characters. I like to think that Ben found redemption in the end, and truly repented of his ways. It was as good an end to his arc as there could probably be had.
I'm not going to post about Lost without mentioning my personal favorite theory, something that I've never seen anyone else posit. I think that David, Jack's son from the flash-sideways world, was the child who came about when Jack and Kate made love before taking off on the Ajira flight. Eloise had told the people who came to the Lamp Post that they had to recreate as closely as possible the conditions of the original flight. What she told Kate was that she had to conceive a child so that Kate could be a proxy for Claire, who had been pregnant on the Oceanic 815 flight. Well, David had to come from somewhere. And he even looks like he could be a child of Kate and Jack, too. He was very well cast.
I also think that the Man in Black wasn't Jacob's brother at all. As evidenced by the hieroglypics that Ben found, the Smoke Monster had existed on the island long before Jacob's mother came. The Monster simply assumed the appearance of Jacob's brother. Jacob found his brother's body, it hadn't been transformed at all. Again, just a theory.
Well, I could go on. This show left us with so much that we're still discussing and debating fourteen years after its final episode. That says something about any series's timeless quality. And I doubt that in another twenty years we'll be too exhausted to still be talking about it.
So, let's raise our glasses of Dharma Initiative cola and toast Lost on its twentieth anniversary! Just as amazing today as it was in 2004.
I got to meet him, briefly, in 2003. Amazing man, with an intellect as formidable as his voice if not more so.
Ninety-three is a good run. And he definitely made his mark.
Who else could make saying the alphabet so dramatic?
Godspeed Mr. Jones. Thank you for sharing your gifts with us for so long.
More than a decade ago Dad persuaded me that my life story would make for something that many people would probably enjoy reading. I started writing that in 2014. And then a lot of things happened. Dad's passing. The year spent journeying across America. Four years as a mental health professional. Those things and more atop the wackiness that life had already sent barreling my way since I was a cub. And let's not forget manic depression and all that led to!
Well, here's a bit of an update on that. Following a few fits with a fresh start on writing, during these past several months I have made significant progress on my memoir. I had been stuck at one point since mid-March however. And then a few days ago I finally cracked it and was able to knock two chapters out of the ballpark in less than 24 hours. Right now I am working on a new chapter, which is set-up for something of a "triptych" in the tale.
The first six consecutive chapters are done. Several other chapters of varying sizes, to be spread around the book, have also been written.
If someone were to ask for a rough estimate on the size this is going to be, I would guess that right now it's going to be a little longer than J.D. Vance's Hillbilly Elegy, which is 272 pages in hardcover. Actually, that's not a bad book for comparison, for a few reasons.
I'm discovering that it's not just writing my life story out as a straightforward narrative. I am having to examine and consider things - and people - that are coming into a whole new light. The process of writing this is changing me, and I believe for the better. A few days ago I wrote about the little Amish girl who I met when I was ten years old. And that made me realize for the first time what an impact that had on my life (forty years later and I still think of her).
There is a title and has been for a year or so now. It took awhile to find one but I really love it. Only five other people know it and they're all sworn to secrecy. But every person I've told it to has responded with the same question: "What does THAT mean?" Hopefully they and many others will delight to find out.
So, there is the status on that particular project. It's found its groove again and the past several days have been a rollickin' wild ride across the life of young Robert Christopher Knight. This next part is going to be a hard one to tackle though. A lot of tragedy in a very short period of time. Maybe if this book gets published it will help make some things right that happened long ago.
And maybe enough people will be able to not only understand me, but be able to forgive me.
Edit: 09/08/2024 6:10 PM EST: I have been able to knock out three chapters within the past 48 hours. Including the one that illuminates the reader about the meaning of the book's title. That was tough to write but also a lot of fun.
This really is coming together. It might even be finished by Christmas, but that's not a goal per se. Just a possibility.
So help me, I'm going to show this cartoon from almost eighty years ago until I'm blue in the face, if that's what it takes to stop people from drinking Ism!
Not for the first time, not for the last, there are people in this country trying to sell "Ism" to us. But it is a bitter elixir that will do naught but poison us and rob us and our children of precious liberty.
America is not perfect. It never has been. It never will be. We have made mistakes along the way, just as any other nation has. But we as a people have done pretty good in owning up to that. America does NOT need MORE government "fixing things" that we can do on our own. In America there is equality of opportunity. There is no guarantee of equality of outcome though, however. But that is what today's supporters of "Ism" are trying to sell us, and all it results in is that much less freedom and prosperity.
Here is "Make Mine Freedom". Remember: Don't drink the Ism!
Hey hey! Once again it has been quite awhile since I have posted anything under the Being Bipolar brand. That last one came almost two years ago. And a lot has changed since then...
When last you read this space, I was still working at the South Carolina Department of Mental Health (the very first mental health department among any of the fifty states, and they're dang proud of it!). And I would still be there too, had the economy not turned so rotten. That compelled me to seek out employment that paid better. I spent two weeks at the car manufacturer near here...
...And then had to leave voluntarily. The meds I take to manage manic depression made it impossible to have the fine precision finger mobility and speed to keep up. I quickly realized that when it came to critical car components my presence was more a liability than a benefit.
After that I was at another manufacturer. I was doing really good too! And then two months into that job I was dismissed. Because they discovered that I was taking medication to manage bipolar disorder.
Well, I can't really talk about that much. There were legal proceedings and an out-of-court settlement. It ended as best as it probably could have. But that still left me unemployed.
Several months of work drought followed after that. And then I was able to sign on as a substitute teacher for a local school system. But as was reported almost a year ago that didn't last long (because ahem... I was accused of teaching high school juniors how to make high explosives).
THAT led to a job that nearly killed me. The less said about that one, the better. It was destroying me mentally, physically, but also spiritually. I was never able to attend a place of worship with others on weekends, or during the week either for that matter. My relationship with God is something that has always been precious to me, even during my worst of moments with manic depression. For those reasons and more I left the job just before my birthday this past March.
What happened after that was practically a God-send. A friend got me involved in training artificial intelligence systems. We're talking real cutting-edge stuff here. I've been able to see the AI industry from a vantage point that few get to witness. I'm now beholding all that goes into making AI work. Its good points as well as things that I don't believe computers will ever be able to surmount (I very strongly doubt that AI will come close to approximating real human thought, and that's a great comfort). I consider AI training to be my true career now, and it's solid work that employs much of my educational background and experiences.
Unfortunately there are times when there is a lull between projects. And it is during those times that I need supplementary employment.
Which brings me to where I am today. I've been able to be a part of the establishing of the first branch in this state of a respected company that is experiencing nationwide growth. I've been with the company for almost two months now and have really come to enjoy the community and camaraderie among the staff. That's all that I can probably say at the moment however. For reasons which are pretty easy to figure out.
So now we come to August 13, 2024.
I've written about having a depressive episode before, and the previous installment of Being Bipolar dealt with experiencing a manic episode. Well, since last night I have been having a mixed episode: an entirely different beast altogether. So I'm going to do my best to describe what this is like.
This morning I had to call in sick. I was nowhere in any condition to handle the tasks I regularly engage in. I probably was not even fit to drive the relatively short distance to the location. Not when I was unstoppably blinking back-and-forth between extraordinary mania and then curling up in a ball on the sofa.
This has been a day of extremes, to be mild about it.
I sensed this coming. And braced for the storm. It could have been worse. But it was harsh enough. By 8 a.m. this morning my thoughts were racing furiously. At 9 the swings toward the opposite direction began.
It's funny. A little after 9 there was a brief respite. And I found myself inspired to post the following on Facebook:
This is one of my favorite scenes in motion picture history. From the 1982 film Conan the Barbarian. Conan (Arnold Schwarzenegger) has just freed Subotai (Gerry Lopez) from certain death. Here we see them having dinner together.
I'll let the scene speak for itself.
It's two fast friends, enjoying a meal in each other's company. And the conversation turns to religion.
There is no bitterness or anger. Not an iota of hatred between the two men. They are simply discussing their respective faiths: Subotai's in the Four Winds, and Conan's belief in Crom.
I like to think that Conan and Subotai each give the other something to think about. Conan certainly seems impressed by the point Subotai is making about "the everlasting sky".
Conan the Barbarian is a fantasy movie. It is very tragic that people in real life can not speak to one another about their differing beliefs without descending into scorn and hatred. We don't think anymore. We only react.
I don't believe that either this candidate or that one is bringing about division among the people. The people seem to enjoy the division. It gives them hatred of others. It justifies their desire to destroy people who don't believe as they do. They like to hate. They enjoy it when someone else is hurting.
"The other candidate" is merely the rationale that they use to justify their bitterness. Hate is a personal choice on the part of the individual. I believe that of the candidates for President there is only one who has expressed the desire and ability to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States, especially in regard to the Bill of Rights. The other candidate does not and indeed has long expressed contempt and disdain for the Constitution. But I am not going to "hate" that candidate for it. I choose to not cast a vote for that candidate, and to support the candidate who I have many reasons to trust will honor the Constitution (especially in matters such as the border issue).
But I'm not going to get sucked into unwise wrath toward anyone about it.
Conan and Subotai. Sitting together eating Lord knows what, talking about their theologies. And appreciating each other.
Like I said, one of my favorite scenes in a movie. So much that can be taken from watching it.
Is this a trend? If it is then I hope it's a growing one!
In the past few months I've found a number of young ladies - these are girls under twelve - who are not only gun enthusiasts but are also very adept with firearms. In every way pertaining to guns, from responsible gun handling to describing various ammo, each of these girls possesses more knowledge and expertise with firearms than most adults.
Here are a couple of examples. And as you can tell, these ladies also command extremely authoritative and articulate voices. No doubt a result of the confidence that they have gained from their gun ownership and use.
Wait, did we say videos? Here is one of Emma, circa 7-8, explaining the four rules of handling guns safely:
Thank you for being you Emma!
Autumn, when the zombie apocalypse happens, I want to be wherever you and your family are.
And to the families of Emma and Autumn and every other young girl being taught to use firearms respectfully and responsibly: this blogger salutes you. You aren't only showing your little ladies how to protect themselves, their loved ones, and their property. You are raising them up to have confidence and consideration. These girls are going to go far in life, and their parents have every right to be supremely proud of them.
Y'all know of any other girls with guns? E-mail me at theknightshift@gmail.com and I'll post about them too!
Something that bothers me about vice-presidential candidate J.D. Vance...
Well, what about those of us who for some reason or another never got to have that kind of lasting happiness? Do WE get afforded a say in the matter?
I've been as loyal a citizen of this country as one could probably be, without going into the military. I came up with American values of honesty, hard work, being the best you could be... values that made this country great. They're values that culminated in my earning Eagle Scout and I made a commitment long ago to live my life in accordance with those virtues.
Some might call me a conservative for that, and a very strong one. If they do, that's for them to decide. As I've tried to convey many times however I am a man of ideas, and not ideologies. But I digress...
I have as much a stake in wanting America to be secured and prosperous for future generations as anyone else has. I am invested as a citizen, as a Christian, as a historian with no small grasp of the issue. I have recently begun working with others toward putting a Trail Life troop together, mostly because I believe in transmitting American ideals to the next generation of young men so that they become the leaders God intends for them to be.
Is all of that invalidated because I have no children? Does "Make America Great Again" have any room under its tent for those of us who life was not so kind toward?
It's almost like Vance is suggesting that there are second-class citizens in America. And that is wrong.
I spotted this clip yesterday and it is definitely one of the better pro-candidate videos that I've ever come across. This is the kind of thing that the more creative types of candidates' supporters should aspire toward. For a lot of reasons I really like this one.
Behold "The Dukes of MAGA":
So, about who I'm supporting in this election. Something I've very rarely tipped my hand about throughout the history of this blog...
As many readers know, I have a rule. It's one that I initiated after my own run for public office years ago, and the TV ads I made for that campaign. Here it is: I do not vote for a candidate if he or she runs a negative campaign commercial targeting an opponent. I made three commercials and each of them was positive, upbeat, humorous at times and serious when need be. There was another candidate in that race who went negative and I did NOT want to be like that. I went full-throttle the opposite direction. And I discovered something: when you're positive, you find creativity that you never knew existed. If I'm going to vote for someone, that person has to demonstrate that not only is he or she not in the race for the power, but also that he or she has vision and imagination.
That being said, at the moment I plan to be casting my vote, for the very first time, for Donald Trump.
If Trump runs a negative television commercial, he's lost my vote. So far though, he hasn't done that.
For now I intend to vote for Trump, and his running mate J.D. Vance. In my sincerely held belief, Trump was the most effective and proactive president that the United States has had since Ronald Reagan. His first term was an astounding success and I believe his second will be even better. He made some mistakes, especially with the people he chose to be on his staff and appointments. I like to believe that Trump has learned better. You won't find me wearing a red "MAGA" hat, but my heart is definitely inclined toward that direction. "Make America Great Again": what is wrong with that? Trump in 2017 began doing just that and I believe he stands to be an even better statesman in 2025.
As for the opposition: Joe Biden has been the worst president in any living memory. For all intents and purposes there has been no competent leadership in the White House for the past three and a half years. Kamala Harris however would be even WORSE.
In case anyone's curious, I'm independent. Have been for a very long time now. I don't fit in the political parties' scheme of things. That kind of thing never really had any appeal for me. It means that I'm an outsider more often than not but I get to live with my conscience that much more. I'm unaffiliated with any party. And right now, even if I don't vote for Donald Trump, he certainly has my support.
Who knows. Maybe I'll end up making a pro-Trump video too.
If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber'd here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend:
if you pardon, we will mend:
And, as I am an honest Puck,
If we have unearned luck
Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue,
We will make amends ere long;
Else the Puck a liar call;
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.
"Puck" by Joshua Reynolds, 1789
Right when the world needs laughter the most, Weird Al comes through for us.
The last time that "Weird Al" Yankovic released a new song, other than "The Hamilton Polka" or the end credits tune from his movie, was ten years ago this week when his Mandatory Fun album dropped. That was the final album he was contracted to produce and he said at the time that he'd probably release singles via digital platforms from now on. But that hasn't happened yet...
Until today.
This morning Yankovic unleashed "Polkamania" upon the world. It's one of his polka medleys of other artists' songs. It shows how out of the loop I am though in that I can't recognize any of these tunes that Al incorporated. And I was kind of hoping his new song would be something like a straight-up parody or a style parody... but maybe it's true, that modern music has become too homogenized to be able to readily pick out any outstanding work. And so far as style parodies go, well... is there any unique style that Al hasn't done? I think the guy has spoofed every form of western music except for contemporary Christian, and the guy is too respectful than to do that.
But even so, it's a new song by my all time favorite recording artist. Just at a time when we all could use something to make us laugh and smile. For a few brief minutes, all is right with the world.
Well, anyhoo, here is "Polkamania", which despite my unfamiliarity with its components is really a quite catchy song!
The man was and forever will be a legend!
The guy just shined in everything that he did. He was always a class act. Modern comics could learn a lot from Bob Newhart's style and demeanor.
Well, as noted, a lot could be said about Newhart's life. And there is so MUCH of his body of work to draw from in his memory. So I'll close out this post with a great lil' sketch from several years back. One that has become a classic among those of us who have been involved in the field of mental healthcare.
"STOP IT!!!"
"Best campaign ad ever!"
- George Lucas's Edutopia magazine
and
featured on VH1, The Soup on E!, MTV, NBC's The Jay Leno Show and media outlets worldwide.
