Friday, November 21, 2008

eHarmony to allow homosexual matching following lawsuit

Yeah you read that right: eHarmony, the relationship-matching website that's found especially strong popularity with Christians, is "going gay".

From the story in The Wall Street Journal...

A settlement Wednesday between eHarmony Inc. and the New Jersey attorney general requires the online heterosexual dating service to also cater to homosexuals, raising questions about whether other services that target a niche clientele could be forced to expand their business models.

The settlement stemmed from a complaint, filed with the New Jersey attorney general's office by a gay match seeker in 2005, that eHarmony had violated his rights under the state's discrimination law by not offering a same-sex dating service. In 2007, the attorney general found probable cause that eHarmony had violated the state's Law Against Discrimination.

As part of the agreement, the Pasadena, Calif.-based company will develop and market Compatible Partners, a Web dating service for same-sex couples, and will allow the site's first 10,000 users to register free. EHarmony will also pay $50,000 to the attorney general's office and $5,000 to the man who first brought the case.

This is so wrong that I don't know where to begin.

Okay, it's like this: I have my own beliefs about homosexuality. And I do have friends who are "gay and lesbian". And they understand where I'm coming from when I say that I can love them as God wants me to love them... but I can not condone what they are doing. Any more than I would want anyone to condone my actions when I do something wrong. It goes back to that "grace" thing or as someone eloquently put it: "hate the sin but love the sinner".

But that's not what infuriates me about this case...

eHarmony is a private corporation. It was founded by Dr. Neil Clark Warren for the purpose of establishing lasting relationships between men and women, based on Warren's research. As such, eHarmony has every right to pursue business as it sees fit. Nobody else should be telling eHarmony how to carry out its own operation. If a homosexual person thinks that there's enough pressing need for a similar service for his or her "lifestyle choice", then there's nothing stopping him or her from attempting to establish that service, and either it will be successful or it will fail. But there is no obligation at all to force another company to do business that way.

I'm sorely tempted to point out that this kind of government-mandated management of privately-held corporations was at the economic heart of Nazi Germany.

Dear Lord, what the hell has gone wrong with the free enterprise system in this country lately?! First it was the $700 billion bailout that is going to God Only knows where. Then this week it's the auto companies come begging for help when it was their own decisions that bankrupted them to begin with. Now it's this. And if it can happen to eHarmony, it can happen to any business in America.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Being a gay conservative -- there are lots of us in case anyone is wondering -- I agree with you without exception. It would be as wrong for a straight conservative Christian to make the government force open a gay singles site as it is for a gay to make the government force this on a single predominantly Christian site.

And Chris I been reading you long enough to trust you when you say you have gay friends that you care for without having to agree with their lifestyle. That's okay. I have problems with my form of lust just as straight Christians have problems with their own. I do try to turn it over to God but it is hard. Thank you for being a Christian -- I want to believe one who would still call me a fellow believer -- who understands that.

L.D.

Chris Knight said...

L.D.,
You said something that I think is incredibly profound...

"I have problems with my form of lust just as straight Christians have problems with their own. I do try to turn it over to God but it is hard."

I wish more of those who profess to follow Christ would understand this.

Let's face it: if you are a straight man or woman, however virtuous and Christ-like you aspire and strive to be, unless there is some dire medical condition you will fall prey to thoughts of temptation one way or another.

It's part of still living in the flesh that we must contend against.

I don't know what it's like to be a homosexual person, but over the years I have gradually come to realize that a gay or lesbian also has to deal with sexual temptation. It's just "different" than how most other people have to deal with it.

A friend told me once of a frank discussion he had with a man who had been blind all his life. My friend suggested that "at least you don't have to deal with sexual temptation". The blind man quickly retorted: "You have no idea what kind of temptation I have to fight against!"

He's right. Unless you have homosexual inclination... and I do believe it happens though not necessarily because it's "natural" or genetic... you can't know what that temptation is like.

So I came to realize also that it is wrong to hate homosexuals because of that temptation. Of course the moral question is: does one yield to that temptation? But if homosexuals are guilty of that, then the vast majority of straight people are just as guilty in the eyes of God.

How dare we find it acceptable to hate someone on such grounds, when by the same equal measure we also are just as damned?

So it is that without the grace of God, which I believe must not only be chosen but freely and sincerely desired, there are none worthy of escaping condemnation.

That is why I can absolutely have friends who are homosexual. And I will pray for God to help them in whatever struggles they face, as much as I will be thankful for prayer from anyone on my own behalf for the struggles that I often face.

Does that make sense?

marc said...

This isnt the end for lawsuits for eharmony. A civil suit filed in California is now going forward.

They smell blood. They wont stop untill they have wrung every last penny out of eharmony.

Anonymous said...

Yet another example in a list miles long about what is going wrong with our country. Un-freakin-beleeeeevable! There are LEGION of dating service sites available on the internet, and if this gay complainant wanted to find a match he should have used them. The lawsuit against eHarmony should have been tossed out as being without merit. It makes me SICK to hear about this. Horrible, just horrible.

Jessica Britton said...

The lawsuit and it's results are pretty silly and set a bad precedence. But, perhaps if eHarmony had been honest and upfront about not wanting to serve gay folks, there might not have been a problem. They didn't, and they even tried to deny that they discriminated. They also complained when another dating service pointed out their dishonesty in it's own ads.

Friday, November 21, 2008

eHarmony to allow homosexual matching following lawsuit

Yeah you read that right: eHarmony, the relationship-matching website that's found especially strong popularity with Christians, is "going gay".

From the story in The Wall Street Journal...

A settlement Wednesday between eHarmony Inc. and the New Jersey attorney general requires the online heterosexual dating service to also cater to homosexuals, raising questions about whether other services that target a niche clientele could be forced to expand their business models.

The settlement stemmed from a complaint, filed with the New Jersey attorney general's office by a gay match seeker in 2005, that eHarmony had violated his rights under the state's discrimination law by not offering a same-sex dating service. In 2007, the attorney general found probable cause that eHarmony had violated the state's Law Against Discrimination.

As part of the agreement, the Pasadena, Calif.-based company will develop and market Compatible Partners, a Web dating service for same-sex couples, and will allow the site's first 10,000 users to register free. EHarmony will also pay $50,000 to the attorney general's office and $5,000 to the man who first brought the case.

This is so wrong that I don't know where to begin.

Okay, it's like this: I have my own beliefs about homosexuality. And I do have friends who are "gay and lesbian". And they understand where I'm coming from when I say that I can love them as God wants me to love them... but I can not condone what they are doing. Any more than I would want anyone to condone my actions when I do something wrong. It goes back to that "grace" thing or as someone eloquently put it: "hate the sin but love the sinner".

But that's not what infuriates me about this case...

eHarmony is a private corporation. It was founded by Dr. Neil Clark Warren for the purpose of establishing lasting relationships between men and women, based on Warren's research. As such, eHarmony has every right to pursue business as it sees fit. Nobody else should be telling eHarmony how to carry out its own operation. If a homosexual person thinks that there's enough pressing need for a similar service for his or her "lifestyle choice", then there's nothing stopping him or her from attempting to establish that service, and either it will be successful or it will fail. But there is no obligation at all to force another company to do business that way.

I'm sorely tempted to point out that this kind of government-mandated management of privately-held corporations was at the economic heart of Nazi Germany.

Dear Lord, what the hell has gone wrong with the free enterprise system in this country lately?! First it was the $700 billion bailout that is going to God Only knows where. Then this week it's the auto companies come begging for help when it was their own decisions that bankrupted them to begin with. Now it's this. And if it can happen to eHarmony, it can happen to any business in America.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Being a gay conservative -- there are lots of us in case anyone is wondering -- I agree with you without exception. It would be as wrong for a straight conservative Christian to make the government force open a gay singles site as it is for a gay to make the government force this on a single predominantly Christian site.

And Chris I been reading you long enough to trust you when you say you have gay friends that you care for without having to agree with their lifestyle. That's okay. I have problems with my form of lust just as straight Christians have problems with their own. I do try to turn it over to God but it is hard. Thank you for being a Christian -- I want to believe one who would still call me a fellow believer -- who understands that.

L.D.

Chris Knight said...

L.D.,
You said something that I think is incredibly profound...

"I have problems with my form of lust just as straight Christians have problems with their own. I do try to turn it over to God but it is hard."

I wish more of those who profess to follow Christ would understand this.

Let's face it: if you are a straight man or woman, however virtuous and Christ-like you aspire and strive to be, unless there is some dire medical condition you will fall prey to thoughts of temptation one way or another.

It's part of still living in the flesh that we must contend against.

I don't know what it's like to be a homosexual person, but over the years I have gradually come to realize that a gay or lesbian also has to deal with sexual temptation. It's just "different" than how most other people have to deal with it.

A friend told me once of a frank discussion he had with a man who had been blind all his life. My friend suggested that "at least you don't have to deal with sexual temptation". The blind man quickly retorted: "You have no idea what kind of temptation I have to fight against!"

He's right. Unless you have homosexual inclination... and I do believe it happens though not necessarily because it's "natural" or genetic... you can't know what that temptation is like.

So I came to realize also that it is wrong to hate homosexuals because of that temptation. Of course the moral question is: does one yield to that temptation? But if homosexuals are guilty of that, then the vast majority of straight people are just as guilty in the eyes of God.

How dare we find it acceptable to hate someone on such grounds, when by the same equal measure we also are just as damned?

So it is that without the grace of God, which I believe must not only be chosen but freely and sincerely desired, there are none worthy of escaping condemnation.

That is why I can absolutely have friends who are homosexual. And I will pray for God to help them in whatever struggles they face, as much as I will be thankful for prayer from anyone on my own behalf for the struggles that I often face.

Does that make sense?

marc said...

This isnt the end for lawsuits for eharmony. A civil suit filed in California is now going forward.

They smell blood. They wont stop untill they have wrung every last penny out of eharmony.

Anonymous said...

Yet another example in a list miles long about what is going wrong with our country. Un-freakin-beleeeeevable! There are LEGION of dating service sites available on the internet, and if this gay complainant wanted to find a match he should have used them. The lawsuit against eHarmony should have been tossed out as being without merit. It makes me SICK to hear about this. Horrible, just horrible.

Jessica Britton said...

The lawsuit and it's results are pretty silly and set a bad precedence. But, perhaps if eHarmony had been honest and upfront about not wanting to serve gay folks, there might not have been a problem. They didn't, and they even tried to deny that they discriminated. They also complained when another dating service pointed out their dishonesty in it's own ads.