Tuesday, September 01, 2009

New Nigerian scam: "Finance my movie!"

This just landed in my e-mail and it's too hilarious not to share. Those pesky Nigerian scammers are definitely trying a new tactic!

(I've made some edits on the profanity and the phone number at the end, which according to the country code is based in Nigeria.)

RANKLE Jones The Golfer "Film Production"

Dear Sir,
I have a full length tragedy movie script title: RANKLE Jones The Golfer. It is a new idea, full of suspense and thrill. I need a production company and financial investment into this movie production as it will make a block buster.
Jones enjoys golf playing, hoping to be a professional golfer like Tiger Woods. Professional golfers play in golf field, ours play at home. No f***ing son of a b**ch will accept correction. The pride of what is yet to be is a destroyer. Jones: Everyone in life have a dream and aspiration to fulfill, so I am too. My life, my all will go to a sport I love and cherish most. Golf is my dream game, a sport I love. Let’s go golfing.
Rudolf drug life flashes of wealth caught Jones napping as he was convinced to take part in one of the most bloody drug cartel deal.
Shelly is a desire of every men but her stinking lifestyle of prostitution can’t let her settle for a man.
Jones fought Elvis in the night club all because of a fames sex machine Shelly with Rudolf, Alex and others watch with no one allow to separate until someone quit for the other.
There are a lot of happenings at the night club.
Gangsters and Police combat force.
Why is Jeff called the master by Rudolf, Elvis, Jimmy and others?
It is traumatic to live with nutty breed of human, all in the name of family-hood. Traumatic experiences of Ray of hatred, alienation by all his family members, his emotional disgust and good moral negligence on the part of his parent on the family.
His erratic brother Jones gave him a blood bath, living his life-less body after which he was in oblivious state. Ray is cast away and also an object of mimic.
Hilda gave Ray a taste of love life which has been missing for years. I love you mum because you hate me. Cassandra my sister is no different from my mum Vera. Ray’s love life with Hilda left nothing to be admiring as it is an ocean of perfect love for both of them.
Jones finally golfed out daddy’s ''Kenny'' breath, as he was left to his pool of blood. Jones life turns sour of no savvy as he committed suicide. Those that bury mines indiscriminately will one day fall victim to mine explosion.
There are golf scenes, fist fighting, snake scenes, club scenes, sex scenes, drug scenes, Police shoot out, gangster, hovercraft, Apache helicopters and Belgian attack dogs.
The script is over 120 pages.
This production has good advert spaces that will be integrated into the movie without it interfering, as the production is purely commercial. This is a viable promotional vehicle to boost your products and services across the globe considering the much success this movie will achieve.
Thanks for finding time to read through. Only get back to me if you are ready for us to proceed with this viable movie production.
Best Regards.
PRODUCER
Onyema Emmanuel.
+234**********

If this is meant to be parody, it's brilliantly written. And if it's legit well... maybe we should forward it to Hollywood? :-P

2 comments:

Calvin said...

"There are golf scenes, fist fighting, snake scenes, club scenes, sex scenes, drug scenes, Police shoot out, gangster, hovercraft, Apache helicopters and Belgian attack dogs.
The script is over 120 pages."

Looks like a Michael Bay blockbuster :)

Anonymous said...

I'd love to see the log line for this pitch.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

New Nigerian scam: "Finance my movie!"

This just landed in my e-mail and it's too hilarious not to share. Those pesky Nigerian scammers are definitely trying a new tactic!

(I've made some edits on the profanity and the phone number at the end, which according to the country code is based in Nigeria.)

RANKLE Jones The Golfer "Film Production"

Dear Sir,
I have a full length tragedy movie script title: RANKLE Jones The Golfer. It is a new idea, full of suspense and thrill. I need a production company and financial investment into this movie production as it will make a block buster.
Jones enjoys golf playing, hoping to be a professional golfer like Tiger Woods. Professional golfers play in golf field, ours play at home. No f***ing son of a b**ch will accept correction. The pride of what is yet to be is a destroyer. Jones: Everyone in life have a dream and aspiration to fulfill, so I am too. My life, my all will go to a sport I love and cherish most. Golf is my dream game, a sport I love. Let’s go golfing.
Rudolf drug life flashes of wealth caught Jones napping as he was convinced to take part in one of the most bloody drug cartel deal.
Shelly is a desire of every men but her stinking lifestyle of prostitution can’t let her settle for a man.
Jones fought Elvis in the night club all because of a fames sex machine Shelly with Rudolf, Alex and others watch with no one allow to separate until someone quit for the other.
There are a lot of happenings at the night club.
Gangsters and Police combat force.
Why is Jeff called the master by Rudolf, Elvis, Jimmy and others?
It is traumatic to live with nutty breed of human, all in the name of family-hood. Traumatic experiences of Ray of hatred, alienation by all his family members, his emotional disgust and good moral negligence on the part of his parent on the family.
His erratic brother Jones gave him a blood bath, living his life-less body after which he was in oblivious state. Ray is cast away and also an object of mimic.
Hilda gave Ray a taste of love life which has been missing for years. I love you mum because you hate me. Cassandra my sister is no different from my mum Vera. Ray’s love life with Hilda left nothing to be admiring as it is an ocean of perfect love for both of them.
Jones finally golfed out daddy’s ''Kenny'' breath, as he was left to his pool of blood. Jones life turns sour of no savvy as he committed suicide. Those that bury mines indiscriminately will one day fall victim to mine explosion.
There are golf scenes, fist fighting, snake scenes, club scenes, sex scenes, drug scenes, Police shoot out, gangster, hovercraft, Apache helicopters and Belgian attack dogs.
The script is over 120 pages.
This production has good advert spaces that will be integrated into the movie without it interfering, as the production is purely commercial. This is a viable promotional vehicle to boost your products and services across the globe considering the much success this movie will achieve.
Thanks for finding time to read through. Only get back to me if you are ready for us to proceed with this viable movie production.
Best Regards.
PRODUCER
Onyema Emmanuel.
+234**********

If this is meant to be parody, it's brilliantly written. And if it's legit well... maybe we should forward it to Hollywood? :-P

2 comments:

Calvin said...

"There are golf scenes, fist fighting, snake scenes, club scenes, sex scenes, drug scenes, Police shoot out, gangster, hovercraft, Apache helicopters and Belgian attack dogs.
The script is over 120 pages."

Looks like a Michael Bay blockbuster :)

Anonymous said...

I'd love to see the log line for this pitch.