...do what is needed of me, or pursue an opportunity for my own happiness.
...be here for my family and friends, or be another place and possibly do something greater with the very best of what my family and friends have given me in my life.
...wait for God to show me what He needs of me, or take a leap of faith and let Him make of it what He will.
Is there a right way or a wrong way to choose at all? One of my very best friends once told me that we can't mess up with God: that His will is so complete and sovereign, that we can't possibly do anything to make His plans go screwy.
I just want to know that what I am considering doing, is what He desires for me. We are told in scripture that God knows "...the plans I have for you... plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)
I won't deny it: the past year or so has been, in many ways, the worst of my life. It has also brought me closer to God than ever before... and I say that having to admit that I am nowhere close to being the Chris Knight that He desires me to be. I've failed many more times than I have succeeded in measuring up to what He wants me to be. That's where the grace of God comes in... and I've never been more thankful for that than I have been lately.
I just want whatever I choose to do, to be for His glory and not my own. That, and to do right by the people that I care about most in this world.