100% All-Natural Content
No Artificial Intelligence!

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Bill Gates gets DOOMed

What you are about to see has never before been witnessed by the general public. Until now.

Windows 95 had been out for barely two months when Microsoft held their Judgement Day event on October 30th, 1995. Hosted on the Microsoft campus in Redmond, Washington, it was a massive showcase of Windows 95 as a gaming platform, and an opportunity for third-party game developers to hawk the products they would soon be rolling out. Microsoft's garage and cafeteria were converted into a "haunted mansion", with each attendee given their own section to decorate. It sounds like it was a pretty wild time...

...Among the attendees were LucasArts, Activsion, and of course, iD Software. Outside, 12 massive guillotines were set around the exits. Activision created a small jungle section to promote the new Pitfall for Sega Genesis. A company called Zombie created a big metal sphere that shot out blue electricity. iD, however no to be outdone (much to Microsoft's dismay) hired the shock-rock band G.W.A.R. to create their set. It was an eight foot tall vagina with dildo teeth. Inside, two members of G.W.A.R. dressed in fur and raw meat attacked passerby's with rubber penises.
Alex St. John - one of the creators of Microsoft's DirectX - had something that would upstage even the boys at iD. Here's what went down, as described in the book Masters of Doom:
As the lights fell, a video screen lowered above the stage; It was time for the main event. The crowd cheered as the Doom's familiar corridors began to roll. But it was not the Doom soldier chasing the demons, it was... Bill Gates! Microsoft's fearless leader was superimposed running inside the game in a long black trench coat and brandishing a shotgun. Gates stopped running and addressed the crowd about Windows 95 as a gaming platform: A platform that could deliver cutting-edge multimedia experiences like Doom. But no sooner that he begun that an Imp monster from the game jumped out, through voice over, asked Gates for an autograph [sic]. Gates responded by raising his shotgun and blowing the beast to gory chunks. 'Don't interrupt me while I'm speaking', he said, then finished his speech. At the end, the screen went black with blood, only to be replaced with the familiar Microsoft phrase 'Who do you want to execute today?'.
Until this past week, NO ONE outside of Microsoft and those who attended Judgement Day had ever seen this video. But a few days ago the guys at Reel Splatter got in touch with Alex St. John, asking if it would be possible to watch this video of Bill Gates running around inside Doom... and St. John sent it to them! Click here to watch Bill Gates in a trenchcoat blast away a Former Human with his boomstick!

0 comments: