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Thursday, July 19, 2007

On the eve of THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: Final predictions for Harry Potter

A little over 24 hours from now, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will be released.

So here are my absolute final predictions for the Harry Potter saga before this concluding chapter of the series is published:

- Harry will live.

- Hagrid will die.

- The fatal shot aimed at Voldemort will come from none other than Draco Malfoy, who reconciles with Harry just before passing away from wounds suffered in battle.

- Rufus Scrimgeour will be sacked ...

- ... and Arthur Weasley will become the new Minister of Magic.

- We will finally get to see Azkaban Prison.

- Norbert will return as a full-grown dragon

- Neville will finally confront Bellatrix Lestrange, upon which he goes into a fit of rage and kills Bellatrix with a savage assault of the Cruciatis curse.

- In a perfect world, Harry would hunt Dolores Umbridge down like a dog, and shove that evil quill pen of hers straight and hard up her (vulgar terminology for human anatomy).

- Ron and Hermione will wind up married, and have twin sons they name Albus and Hagrid.

- Wormtail will rescue Harry from an attack by Fenris Greyback by plunging his silver hand into Greyback's chest and ripping his heart out. With Greyback dead, the curse of lycanthropy will be lifted and Remus Lupin will no longer suffer from being a werewolf ...

- ... and Remus will relent to having a relationship with Tonks.

- The Dursleys will barely escape the total destruction of Number 4 Privet Drive that is scheduled for 12:01 a.m. on July 31st, 1997.

- EVERYTHING that was published in The Quibbler will turn out to be absolutely true, including the story that Sirius Black was once a singing sensation and that Cornelius Fudge is after the Gringotts gold.

- Professor McGonagall will be confirmed by the board of governors as the new Headmistress of Hogwarts.

- Professor Sprout will flee the country and Neville will fill in as substitute Herbology teacher at Hogwarts (by this point he will already be of age by wizarding standards) until a permanent replacement is appointed.

- It will be revealed that Snape was working for Dumbledore against Voldemort all along. How this will be possible is something that I have been trying to figure out for two years now and am no closer at understanding: it's just a gut feeling.

- Filch, for the first time in his life, will perform magic. It comes in a moment of madness after he sees his beloved cat Mrs. Norris killed by the Death Eaters. And the magic that Filch does is nothing less than the Avada Kedavera.

- Bill and Fleur will have their wedding but it will be too much of a target of opportunity for the Death Eaters to pass up and an attack ensues.

- "R.A.B." will be revealed to have been Regulus Black, and the strange locket that won’t open at 12 Grimmauld Place will indeed be the Slytherin locket that is the real Horcrux.

- Harry will, at some point, come to Godric's Hollow and meet his father's parents for the first time.

- Luna and Neville will end up getting married.

- Harry and Ginny will end up getting married also.

- Lucius Malfoy will end up bankrupt and destitute.

- Viktor Krum will replace Karkaroff as the head of the Durmstrang school.

- The last we see of the Weasleys' Ford Anglia, it is flying off into the sunset with Ron and Hermione, with the words "JUST MARRIED" written on the rear window.

- Harry will fulfill his dream of becoming an Auror.

- Harry and Ginny will have a son, who they name Sirius.

That's just the stuff that readily comes to mind. This probably isn't even half the predictions that I could come up with: it's still leaving out Grawp and Professor Trelawney and the motorcycle and dozens of other things.

I'll probably be finishing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows about 48 hours from now. And then we'll see how this all goes down in the end.

EDIT 10:37 p.m. EST: Jenna Olwin has published her own list of predictions for Deathly Hallows. Amazing how some of ours are close similar, and we didn't even compare notes or anything before we did our own lists!