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Friday, August 22, 2008

"We will need a lot more hemp before we're through."

Through a series of events that I don't care to discuss, it has come to my attention that this week has the dubious distinction of being the twenty-fifth anniversary of the release of Yor: The Hunter from the Future, claimed by many to be the most schizo and ridiculous movie ever made...

Release on August 19th, 1983 and starring Reb Brown as Yor ("My what?" is what everyone around him must ask when they hear his name), Yor: The Hunter from the Future is about a big(?) blond guy who runs around a seemingly prehistoric landscape, killing things (mostly dinosaurs). He hooks up with this chick named Kala and her "protector" Pag. Yor and Pag have to go rescue Kala from some blue-skinned cavemen. Then they wind up at a beach village that is blown up real good courtesy of a "damn talking box". And then Yor and crew wind up on a remote island run by the Overlord and his Darth Vader-looking robots. Overlord is glad that Yor has come because he needs Yor's sperm to create a better breed of androids. The movie ends with a spaceship flying away.

Now, does any of that make a lick of sense?!

I've had lots of fun mocking Yor: The Hunter from the Future over the years, like when I used this still from the movie for a Star Wars Captioning at TheForce.net Humor back in 2001. Everything about it is laughable! From the theme song ("Yor's world, he's the man!") to the horrible lines delivered so straight-faced:

"Drinking the blood of our enemies gives us strength!"

"Urgh... I prefer to stay weak then!"

"We will need a lot more hemp before we're through."
"I am the Overlord, ruler of my people and yours too. You are completely in my power."
And then there are the special effects. It's hard to miss the action figures used in the scene where Yor and Kala are swinging over the atomic pile. But that's nothing compared to this, possibly the greatest scene in a hundred years of movie history. It's the part where Yor kills a giant bat, then uses its carcass as a hang-glider to rescue the girl...

Don't you wish you had your own theme song that played whenever you did something, like driving out of your garage or using the bathroom?

But don't take my word for how bad Yor: The Hunter from the Future really is: Noah Antwiler has a hilarious video review of the movie on his blog. Badmovies.org also contributes considerable space to deriding Yor. Internal Bleeding couldn't resist having some fun with it either. I don't know if it's on DVD anywhere but if you want a real laugh and can track it down, you owe it to yourself to watch Yor: The Hunter from the Future at least once :-)