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Sunday, March 06, 2022

Lenten Blogging 2022: Day 5

I'm getting concerned.  I thought doing a post a day would kickstart my "old" writing skills back into play.  Five days into it and I'm nowhere close.

The last time I was able to channel the really inner parts of my intellect, was before I left my old home in 2016 and headed west.  I don't think that experience has anything to do with losing my writing ability in earnest.  If anything it made me a deeper, more broad person as a whole.  But as soon as I got back I had an issue with my medication and...

That's what I blame most for what happened to me.  The meds.  They keep me suppressed.  They help me hang on to some semblance of normality.  But they also rob from me a measure of spirit.

I've been trying to overcome the effect of the meds.  Have been working toward readjusting my mind around them.  But they are so pervasive, so very permeating into my neurobiology.  But little progress has been made.

So maybe with a little self discipline, and applying myself to the task, maybe that will help me where simply trying to evade the meds has failed.

What do I miss most?  Being able to write about God.  Being able to write about my relationship with Him.  I've lost that most of all.  Maybe that I lament that, is some evidence that I haven't lost it.  Maybe the fact that I'm writing about that right now, proves that I still care.  And maybe if I care about God, maybe He still cares for me, too.

See you all tomorrow.