If I were a character on THE SIMPSONS ...

A few months ago it was "Chris as a South Park character". Now today, after all of these years of dreaming and courtesy of The Simpsons Movie website, I am finally a character from The Simpsons! Looks pretty much like me, right down to that weird bit of hair on the right-hand side of my forehead that does its own thing without going one way or the other on the part (it's not so pronounced just after a haircut but after a few weeks you really see it). My Simpsons avatar is also wearing denim jeans (my usual style) and dark brown shoes which are meant to be my hiking boots. Lisa thinks that brown and green are my best colors, so I colored "my" shirt brown. And since I'm somewhat of a "fight the status quo" sort, I put the upraised fist/sign of defiance on my shirt.

Pretty nifty, eh? Head over to the movie's site to register an account and you too can be a Simpsons character! Thanks to Shane Thacker (who doesn't look too shabby as a Simpsons 'toon either) for the great find!

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TRIBULATION HOUSE: Whacked (and wicked funny) Christian novel is a must-read!

A short while after finishing my review of Kingdom Come (thank heaven that's the last we'll ever see of Left Behind... hopefully) I found out about another book that was coming out around the same time. This one also dealt with Pre-Tribulation Rapture theology, but with a twist: it's story was about what happens when Christians obsess about the Rapture to the point of ignoring the work that God has provided to occupy ourselves with until He does come. That alone would have piqued my interest. That the book's page on Amazon described it as a "quirky apocalyptic gangster novel" only fueled my desire to know more. And that this was a Christian satire novel that was - gasp! - said to be uproariously funny settled it in my mind: I absolutely had to read Tribulation House by Chris Well.

It wasn't until two days ago that I found a copy: at the Books A Million in the Concord Mills Mall. Tribulation House is such a genre-bending story that most bookstores, even Christian ones, don't seem to have it in stock. They should though: especially the Christian outlets like LifeWay and Family Christian. With Tribulation House, Chris Well proves that Christian fiction can not only be rollickin' good entertainment when it really wants to be, but that it can share profound wisdom and insight that leaves a person more enlightened for the time spent reading it.

Did I mention already that Tribulation House is also the most hilarious Christian novel that I've ever read?

Did I also say that after the dreck that Left Behind became, that Tribulation House is the most spiritually refreshing Christian fiction that I've read in a very long time?

I can't believe how much more I hate Left Behind now. Not just that series, but a lot of stuff on the "Christian culture" front. We should be giving God nothing short of our best efforts, in everything that we do. Including the entertainment we create. Instead for years now we've had this bass-ackwards approach where we give a blunt-force sermon some thin veneer of "enjoyment" and then expect people to be hooked by The Message, as if that is what's going to draw the crowds. Except it doesn't work and those we are trying to witness to only end up laughing at us that much more. But I'm beginning to sense that a lot of Christians have realized what we're doing wrong, and are now actively working to do something about it. The recent movie Facing the Giants (read my review here) and now Chris Well's Tribulation House "get" it. And I'm especially glad that Well makes a good commentary about that in his novel: maybe others will pick up on it also.

Tribulation House has a number of storylines, at the center of which is Reverend Daniel Glory, the prominent minister of a Kansas City church. Reverend Glory has confidently announced to the world that he has calculated the exact date and time of the Rapture: on October 17th at 5:51 a.m., Jesus will come for the true believers. Which is joyful news for church member Mark Hogan. And since his days on Earth are numbered, why not enjoy them a bit? Hogan immediately begins an insane spending spree that culminates in his lust for a $22,428 dream boat... which he can't get right away because his credit was declined at the showroom. No worries, figures Hogan: he'll just borrow the money he needs from the mob. Then he can buy his boat and enjoy clear sailing right up to the Rapture. And when Jesus comes, he'll be in Heaven and won't have to fret about the gangsters coming to collect what he owes them. And that's exactly what Mark Hogan does.

And then the Rapture doesn't happen. And the details of Pre-Tribulation theology aren't something that organized crime figures usually care to hear about.

Rife with slick dialogue and rich in pop-culture references, Tribulation House is an engrossing tale about family squabbling, Mid-West mafiosos, urban politics, whodunit murder, and an American brand of Christianity that's much too fixated on the Second Coming for its own good. With that much craziness poured into one book, Tribulation House can't help but be a joy to read. This wasn't just the funniest Christian fiction I've read: Tribulation House was one of the funniest books that I've ever read! And the part of me that seeks out opportunity for spiritual growth in this kind of literature... well, I finished Tribulation House feeling quite satiated on that front, too. Chris Well seems to be a Christian writer who is seriously tuned-in to my wavelength (which may or may not be a good thing): some things that he writes about in Tribulation House, in a lot of ways they affirmed a number of things that I've thought about lately. I definitely feel blessed in that regard to have read his book.

Chris Well is the Elmore Leonard of Christian fiction. I don't know if Christian literature realized it had such a vacuum, but I am thrilled beyond belief to discover that Well has found it and filled it. This isn't Well's first book, nor will it be his last: Tribulation House ends with an opening for a sequel, and apparently this is Well's third book set in Kansas City featuring two police detectives - Griggs and Pasch - who investigate organized crime. I will definitely now seek out Forgiving Solomon Long and Deliver Us from Evelyn, along with his next volume when it comes out. I especially like the character of Charlie Pasch, who I identified with a lot so far as Christian struggles go. And in regards to Hank Barton, the candidate for public office in a race filled with over a dozen characters and who also has a wife named Lisa... well, let's just say that my jaw dropped more than a few times at reading about what he goes through (see my posts about running for school board if you want the full skinny).

The last really good novel that I remember reading was Michael Crichton's Next (you can also read my review of that here), and after that has been a six-month run of turkeys like Hannibal Rising and Empire (which was ESPECIALLY disappointing for me, given that it was an Orson Scott Card novel) and Kingdom Come (the Left Behind book by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins, not the DC Comics graphic novel masterpiece). Tribulation House by Chris Well finally breaks the streak. I give the biggest props that I can muster to this book. Absolutely recommended!

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ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK remake script gets amazingly positive early review!

We've known for a few months now that New Line was remaking Escape from New York, this time with Gerard Butler as Snake Plissken (the role in the original that's probably most responsible for catapulting Kurt Russell to fame). I really liked Butler's portrayal as Leonidas in 300 but all the same: an Escape from New York remake? That's one of my favorite movies of all time, in spite of how "dated" it now is.

I've thought for awhile that a remake wasn't necessary: that John Carpenter or somebody should just "enhance" the original. So much did I think this was a good idea that a year ago I attempted my own "re-edit" of the 1982 original movie. The "Chris Knight edit" was going to be more timeless, set during a vague point in time in a post-9/11 world. I managed to "tweak" the audio so that Hauk tells Snake that he's landing the glider atop Trump Tower (since the World Trade Center was no longer there). And I was able to completely remove the center's twin towers from the shot where we first see the city after rising over the wall. But the most complete that the project got was the "retouched" script, which I just worked to update some details. Other than that, it was the very same story. And I haven't wanted that to be messed with one bit.

Well, guess what...

Merrick over at Ain't It Cool News wound up with a draft of the script for the Escape from New York remake. And what does Merrick have to say about this project?

...let's concentrate on my theory about what legitimizes a remake…or what ingredients make for a "successful" remake. From my perspective, there are two factors that might make a remake worthwhile:

1) Do the current filmmakers demonstrate a respect for/understanding of the source material they're drawing from?

2) Do whatever NEW elements filmmakers bring to a remake a) Feel like organic extensions of the story they’re remaking, or b) Help realize qualities that couldn’t be brought to the screen the first time around (due to budgetary limitations, social restraints, or... whatever)?

Which brings us back to the script for New Line's currently-in-development remake of ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK. Does it meet the above criteria? Surprisingly enough... bewilderingly enough... and I never thought I'd say this... ever... SO FAR... YES!!!

There are spoilers galore in his review. If you don't want to read those, let me put it this way: after reading Merrick's take on this, if this is the direction that they're taking with redoing Escape from New York, then this is one movie that I am absolutely anticipating as much as any other. The new Escape from New York sounds as if it's going to be among the most faithful and respectful to the original material out of all the remakes that we've seen too much of in recent years.

I just can't begin to say how excited I am all of a sudden for this movie! So count Escape from New York as a movie that I'll be making period reports about between now and it's premiere.

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Firehouse Subs: One HOT sandwich shop!

Yesterday afternoon Lisa and I were in the area around Concord Mills Mall in Concord, North Carolina and we decided it would be a good time to get something to eat. On the south/east side across I-85 from the mall, she got a burger from Wendy's and I spotted a place called Firehouse Subs. Since I'm something of a submarine sandwich connoisseur, I decided to give Firehouse a shot.

I'm glad that I did! Firehouse Subs is a fairly new chain out of Jacksonville, Florida. It has the distinction of being the only food franchise that I know of that's founded by firemen. One consequence of that is that Firehouse Subs has a great firefighting motif around the place... and judging by how the company presents itself on its website, it takes a lot of sincere pride in that and pays much homage to those of the firefighting profession.

I ordered the Italian Sub, minus mustard and mayo (a real Italian submarine in my book uses either oil and vinegar or some kind of Italian dressing, not mustard or mayonnaise). It took a little longer to make the sandwich than, say, a place like Subway does, but that's because like Quizno's they cook the meat at Firehouse. That gave me time to look around the place: as I alluded to already, there's a firefighting decor in the place. The soft drinks were Pepsi products and I got a large Mug root beer (a great root beer that I can only find in sandwich places around here, not in cans or bottles). And while waiting for my sandwich to be finished I noticed something: running practically the full length of the counter, Firehouse Subs has just about every brand of commercially available hot sauce. Including two varieties of Dave's Insanity! Which I have never tried before but have heard all kinds of wild tales about, like how it's supposed to burn the skin on your arm if you drip any on it. They sell most of these sauces at Firehouse, too. I wound up buying a bottle of Dave's Ultimate Insanity. Expect a full report on this soon... if I dare open the bottle.

And then my sandwich was finished and brought to me. How was it?

Exceptionally delicious!

I hope and pray that we get a Firehouse Subs somewhere in the Greensboro area soon. But until then, whenever we're around the Concord area, I'm going to make it a point to stop by Firehouse Subs and get a sandwich. We like going to the mall there every now and then already, and knowing about this new sandwich joint is going to make the two-hour drive there that much more terrific to look forward to!

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Why I don't want an iPhone

Among other things, the battery in the iPhone is non-replaceable. The thing is built into the iPhone, just as the battery is sealed inside Apple's iPod and cannot be replaced by the user (or at least not without voiding the warranty).

That's plenty enough reason to not desire an iPhone. The mark of a truly useful gizmo is how hassle-free it is. And after a year of use, I do not want to have to send off my iPhone for a new battery (if Apple will even allow for that, considering how this seems to be intended to force you to buy the latest iPhone at that point) when I am more than perfectly capable of swapping out a battery myself. There's no need to handicap the user's ability to do something that is routine practice.

Besides, six hundred bucks for a telephone seems more than a bit... extravagant.

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New vlog entry: America needs new heroes

Another in what is threatening to become a regular series of "vlog" entries. This one was inspired by today's vote in the Senate which killed amnesty for illegal aliens... for now. But in this I also go into how America has a serious need for a new generation of leaders to take the reins from the ones who have been exploiting her for too long:

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RACE TO THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: One book down

On Monday evening I started reading all of the Harry Potter books, in the lead-up to the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in just over three week's time. A short while ago I finished reading Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone, the first novel in the series. That's about the fourth time that I've read that book and if this rate keeps up, I should definitely have the other five done in time for the seventh and final chapter of the Potter saga.

Next up is Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, which is probably my least-favorite of the entire series. But in light of what we've come to know of Voldemort in the subsequent books, maybe there'll be something new that I'll catch this time in reading it again, in that light. Anyways, I'll start reading that later today (it's way early in the morning now, so I'm gonna catch some ZZZs for now).

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Norman "Firehat" Liebmann unloads on Bush the "Megamoron"

Of all the writers on the 'net that I've made a habit of regularly reading - and there aren't that many, truth be known - few have held my admiration longer than has Norman Liebmann, AKA "Firehat". Liebmann is the guy who created the classic television series The Munsters, among other things. And he's always had a rapier-like wit that he'll turn loose on anything deserving of derision. Well, today he tears into George W. Bush, with a wrath that can only be called legendary. A very brief sample:

In trying to fathom the immigration policy of George W. Bush, if we rule out treason, stupidity becomes the default explanation – and an explanation that is not an excuse. It is remarkable that anyone as trivial as Bush can manage to provoke such hostility. Bush traveled the world as a President and returned as a refugee.

Mash down here for more.

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Possible crater from the Tunguska blast found

Researchers from the University of Bologna in Italy have identified what might be a crater from the Tunguska blast in 1908. The alleged crater is a bowl-shaped lake that seems to be a recent geological feature. There's evidence of buried rock beneath the lake that could have come from an asteroid or cometary remnant. And a few other details seem to jibe well, too. Very cool stuff if this bears out: the Tunguska event is perhaps the most frustrating natural disaster in modern history, since it was two decades before the Russians were able to send a team out to study the site. We still don't know what happened that day, 'cept it was detected as far away as England and it knocked horses plum off their legs for hundreds of miles around.

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First "vlog" with YouTube quick capture

First time recording a video straight to YouTube with my webcam and microphone. This may or may not be a "regular feature" on this blog (obviously "Crapshoot with Chris Knight" didn't get far, but I might just save that for "big" stuff)...

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Every Harry Potter book ... in less than a month

A few weeks from now on July 21st, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - the seventh and final chapter of the Harry Potter saga - will be published. We pre-ordered our copy last week. On the night of July 20th (which ironically will be me and Lisa's fifth wedding anniversary) we'll be at the Border's bookstore on High Point Road in Greensboro to be part of the midnight festivities, just as we did two years ago. I'm considering putting together some sort of costume for the night, which will be the first one I've done for a Harry Potter character. But who to go as? My first inclination is to go as Professor Severus Snape, since my dark black gown from high school graduation looks perfect for the role. Except that if I show up as Snape I'll probably get lynched and killed on the spot by a gang of angry adolescents.

In the meantime, with twenty-five days to go, I'm going to take a stab at reading all of the Harry Potter books, leading right up to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows ...

So that will wind up being every Harry Potter book in the space of a month. I'm going to start later tonight with the first book: Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone. Can I do it? My friend Jenna Olwin started on May 31st so she's got a way head start. Hope I can catch up with her in time. And the plan is to take down notes of things that I'm going to notice this time around: seemingly small details that may or may not have significance in the last novel. I'll be posting reports here as I finish each book :-)

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So now I've joined the mob on Facebook ...

Yegads, that place is even creepier than Myspace! Don't know how much time I'll ever spend on there but if you can find me on there, give me a holler.

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BLADE RUNNER and THE THING are a quarter-century old today

Twenty-five years ago today, two movies debuted in theaters: Blade Runner and The Thing.

Personally, I think these are two of the most classic movies ever made. That a quarter-century later we are still debating so much about each of these films should say something about their timelessness. For what it's worth, I've never thought that Deckard was a Replicant in Blade Runner. I'm really looking forward to the definitive release of this movie on DVD (including Ridley Scott's "final cut") later this fall. And so far as the ending of The Thing - to this day the scariest movie that I ever saw - goes, well... it speaks for what the whole movie is about. To me, The Thing was less about the alien than it was about the paranoia among the crew of the research station. By the way, if you want to know more about The Thing, I know of no finer resource on the 'net than the excellent Outpost #31.

Thanks to Ain't It Cool News for reminding us of today's anniversaries!

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Portraits of my girl and me

Back in November, a few weeks after the election, Lisa and I had some formal portrait photos made: the first since our engagement pics a few years ago. We've had these all this time but our scanner was broken and it wasn't until this past week that we got another one.

Anyhoo, here's Lisa and me...

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The Knight Shift breaks 400,000 visits

In the last little while this blog has had its 400,000th visitor. Kewlness!! :-)

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Ron Paul supporters VS. Fred Thompson supporters on Meetup

Fred Thompson is supposed to officially announce he's running for President next week. Right now he's the darling of the Republican head honchos, and of a mainstream press that, as I have noted many times on this blog, is too lazy and more interested in maintaining the status quo than doing anything that might jeopardize that. And if you were to listen to them, you would believe that there is this "massive groundswell" of support for Fred Thompson out in the public.

Okay well...

Credit denvervoipguru on the Ron Paul Forums for finding this. It's the current number of people using the website Meetup to "meet up" and coordinate activities promoting their favorite candidates.

Here are Fred Thompson's "meetups":

And here are Ron Paul's "meetups":

Fred Thompson has 72 Members. Ron Paul has 14,673. Fred Thompson has 5 cities represented on Meetup... whereas Ron Paul has 323. There is one event being organized through Meetup for Fred Thompson supporters, while Ron Paul's have 482.

And yet according to most of the stateside press, all of this Ron Paul vibe is being generated by, at most, a couple hundred enthusiasts who live in their parents' basements, don't have girlfriends and are too dumb to realize that they are "throwing their vote away".

So I have to ask: on the level playing field that is the Internet, where is a comparative amount of support for Fred Thompson or any other candidate, as opposed to that which seems evident for Ron Paul? I mean, it seems that if Fred Thompson's support is this vast, that it would certainly approximate that of a "second tier candidate", doesn't it?

If anyone has an explanation for this discrepancy, I would love to know what it is.

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Happy Birthday Phillip!

Word on the street is that today is Phillip Arthur's birthday (or maybe it's tomorrow, I forget which day exactly). Phillip is one of the coolest cats that I know and one of the most darned creative fellas I've ever known. So here's wishin' ya a Happy Birthday, Phillip :-)

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