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Saturday, March 13, 2010

IRS harasses carwash for delinquent taxes of FOUR CENTS

A few days ago two "dark-suited IRS agents" - described by Aaron Zeff as "deadly serious, very aggressive, very condescending" - arrived at Harv's Metro Car Wash in Sacramento, California: a business establishment owned by Mr. Zeff.

So what was the Internal Revenue Service doing at Harv's Metro Car Wash, you may ask?

Here's the story from the Sacramento Bee...

The letter that was hand-delivered to Zeff's on-site manager showed the amount of money owed to the feds was ... 4 cents.

Inexplicably, penalties and taxes accruing on the debt – stemming from the 2006 tax year – were listed as $202.31, leaving Harv's with an obligation of $202.35.

Zeff, who also owns local parking lots and is the president of the Midtown Business Association, finds the situation a bit comical.

"It's hilarious," he says, "that two people hopped in a car and came down here for just 4 cents. I think (the IRS) may have a problem with priorities."

Taking into account the gas that was burned for transport to and from the carwash, the salaries of the two IRS agents, the official paperwork describing the delinquent taxes (Lord only knows how much that is) and other expenses, it wouldn't surprise me if the United States federal government spent $400 in the pursuit of $0.04 from Mr. Zeff.

President Obama wants to "overhaul" No Child Left Behind

Ahhhhh geez, not this sh-t again.

As if making an admittedly imperfect health care system even more broken isn't enough, President Barack Obama now wants to "restructure" No Child Left Behind.

When the hell are we ever going to get a President that is going to be content to simply govern wisely, instead of being fixated on putting his imprint on everything?

So now Obama is determined to "improve" No Child Left Behind: one of the biggest blunders of the all-too-blunderful misadministration of George W. Bush.

Pssst... hey, Obama. Wanna do something for once that will make a lot of people sing your praises? Then don't "overhaul" No Child Left Behind, but instead scrap the whole damned thing entirely!!!

If Obama did that one thing, then I might entertain the notion of casting a vote for him in 2012.

Would he do that? Probably not. Far too many of our elected officials are fools to egotism rather than followers of wisdom, and the chief executive of the land is no different.

Friday, March 12, 2010

THE PEOPLE VS. GEORGE LUCAS premieres tomorrow at SXSW!

A friendly reminder for those of you lucky enough to be attending South By Southwest (SXSW) 2010 in Austin, Texas (which begins today) that Alexandre O. Philippe's much-anticipated documentary The People vs. George Lucas will have its world premiere tomorrow night!

Man oh man, wish I could be going to this thing (I will be attending a production of Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street this weekend though :-). The People vs. George Lucas has already started garnering some high-profile attention and it's prolly gonna skyrocket after tomorrow night.

Here's the latest trailer for it. And yes: that is Melody Hallman Daniel from our own film Forcery that you see at 44 seconds into it!

Alexandre has told me that he wound up using Forcery quite a bit in The People vs. George Lucas. So, I am delighted that I got to make a bit of contribution to what will no doubt be a most excellent movie :-)

Anyhoo, if you're at SXSW 2010, check it out!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

UNC Chapel Hill loses 62-58 to Georgia Tech tonight! Tarheels out of ACC Tournament, aren't going to NCAA Tournament and probably WON'T be in the NIT either!!!

There is absolutely no reason for making this entry, other than because Lord only knows when the next time will be that I get to do a post like this one :-P

Most weirdest Star Wars-related post I've EVER made

There is a girl who can discern different Star Wars characters while blindfolded by putting them in her mouth and sucking on them.

I never want to have to write a summary sentence like that again.

Sophia Heesch, a teenager from Germany, was recently on a TV show in that country called Wetten, dass...? (translated into English it's "Wanna Bet...?") demonstrating her... talent. Sophia, without looking at it, can be given a Star Wars LEGO minifigure and just from sucking on it and feeling with her tongue, can tell whether the minifig is Han Solo or Yoda, and even more unusual characters like the ASP Droid.

Here is the clip of Sophia showing off her amazing powers!

Wetten, dass...? is a German game show, so apparently Sophia won some money. Remember that next time you yell at your kids for putting toys in their mouths :-P

Betty White to host SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE on May 8th

Read all about it here.

If you joined one of the many Facebook groups that have sprung up to get this to happen in the past month, give yourself a pat on the back.

Maybe this is what it takes to get something done in the world today: just start up a Facebook group, like "Let's See if this African Dung Beetle can get more fans than Glenn Beck!"

(For the record, I've not once listened to Glenn Beck or watched him on television, and only know what he looks like from the covers of his books.)

Sorta like that "electronic town hall" that Ross Perot suggested back in 1992. Who'da thunk that he was foreseeing Facebook? :-)

Pics of the fake Intel Core i7 processor

Earlier this week came one of the more bizarre stories that I've heard about relating to personal computers, when popular online retailer NewEgg announced that a number of the new Intel Core i7 CPUs that it had shipped turned out to be counterfeit! Yeah, a bogus microprocessor. And I joined no doubt a sizable portion of people scratching our collective head and asking "What the...?!"

So if you're wondering what a non-functioning imitation Intel Core i7-920 processor looks like, the staff at Gearlog got their hands on one of boxes that came from NewEgg (which has already ended it supply relationship with IPEX, where the fake CPUs originated). See that CPU fan? That's really a piece of mere molded plastic!

If you think that's something, click on the link for plenty more photos. Including a close-up of the alleged microprocessor.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

As of this evening...

I have officially begun production of my first real film project in more than three years.

And it feels great!

What's happened since Schrodinger's Bedroom in 2007? A heapin' helpin' of real life stuff, most of which I ain't even begun to intimate at on this blog. Yah, last summer we destroyed Burlington, North Carolina with giant monsters and it was a hoot. But I've been dying to do something that will engage my creative juices for more than a weekend's worth of work :-)

And there have been a lot of ideas that I want to follow through on (including Keys, the script for which has been done for quite some time now) but I'm holding off on those for the time being, for various reasons.

This one though, feels just right. For me as a person, and also as a filmmaker for the much-needed jumpstart/kick in the pants that I need.

This is probably the craziest project that I've worked on yet.

Lord willing we'll start filming later this spring. The title role has already been cast (it ain't me, and it's no one who's done a KWerky Productions film with us before). But there'll be plenty of room for involvement. So if you're in North Carolina or Virginia or thereabouts and if you can act or come up with music (especially music) or have some firearms that you can loan us, write us at kwerkyproductions@gmail.com and tell us what ya got!

Beastie Boys' "Sabotage" + BATTLESTAR GALACTICA = Awesome!

This one's going out to all of y'all who are fans of the rebooted Battlestar Galactica. A dude named Katamaran78 on YouTube has created this amazing video using clips from the show and the song "Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys. The result? A spectacular shot-for-shot Galactica-style interpretation of Spike Jonez's classic music video.

Here 'tis...

There are bunches of "Sabotage" mash-ups floating around, but this one is probably the best that I've seen yet (and I never even really watched Battlestar Galactica... but this video is making me want to check it out :-)

Why is the United States Department of Education buying shotguns?

Click here for the official purchase order for 27 Remington shotguns, deliverable to the Department of Education.

And here's the full text, in case it goes down the proverbial "memory hole" (or if you're too lazy to hit the link)...

Remington Shotguns
Solicitation Number: EDOOIG-10-000004
Agency: Department of Education
Office: Contracts & Acquisitions Management
Location: Contracts (All ED Components)

Synopsis:
Added: Mar 08, 2010 10:39 am

The U.S. Department of Education (ED) intends to purchase twenty-seven (27) REMINGTON BRAND MODEL 870 POLICE 12/14P MOD GRWC XS4 KXCS SF. RAMAC #24587 GAUGE: 12 BARREL: 14" - PARKERIZED CHOKE: MODIFIED SIGHTS: GHOST RING REAR WILSON COMBAT; FRONT - XS CONTOUR BEAD SIGHT STOCK: KNOXX REDUCE RECOIL ADJUSTABLE STOCK FORE-END: SPEEDFEED SPORT-SOLID - 14" LOP are designated as the only shotguns authorized for ED based on compatibility with ED existing shotgun inventory, certified armor and combat training and protocol, maintenance, and parts.
The required date of delivery is March 22, 2010.
Interested sources must submit detailed technical capabilities and any other information that demonstrates their ability to meet the requirements above, no later than March 12, 2010 at 12 PM, E.S.T. Any quotes must be submitted electronically to the attention of Holly.Le@ed.gov, Contract Specialist (Contract Operations Group), with a concurrent copy to Sherese.Lewis@ed.gov, Contracting Officer (Contract Operations Group).
The following clauses are applicable to this requirement:

52-212-1 Instruction to Offerors - Commercial Items
52.212-2 Evaluation - Commercial Items
52.212-3 Offeror Representations and Certifications - Commercial Items
52.212-4 Contract Terms and Conditions - Commercial Items
52.212-5 Contract Terms and Conditions Required Implementing Statutes or Executive Orders - Commercial Items

In accordance with 52.212-2, the fill-in applicable to this requirement is below:
52.212-2 Evaluation-Commercial Items.
As prescribed in 12.301(c), the Contracting Officer may insert a provision substantially as follows:
Evaluation-Commercial Items (Jan 1999)
(a) The Government will award a contract resulting from this solicitation to the responsible offeror whose offer conforming to the solicitation will be most advantageous to the Government, price and other factors considered. The following factors shall be used to evaluate offers:
(i) Technical Capability
(ii) Price
In accordance with 52.212-5, the following clauses are applicable to this requirement:
52.225-1 Buy American Act - Supplies (February 2009)
52.232-33, Payment by Electronic Funds Transfer-Central

New equipment only; no remanufactured products. No partial shipments
Offer must be good for 30 calendar days after submission.
Offerors must have current Central Contractor Registration (CCR) at the time offer is submitted. Information can be found at www.ccr.gov.
This is a combined synopsis/solicitation for commercial items in accordance with Federal Acquisition Regulation Part 12, Acquisition of Commercial Items. The Government will award a commercial item purchase order to the offeror with the most advantageous offer to the government. All offerors must submit their best price and delivery capabilities.

Place of Delivery:
U.S. Department of Education
Office of Inspector General
c/o: Gary Pawlak, Special Agent
500 West Madison Street - Suite 1414
Chicago, IL 60661

Contracting Office Address:
550 12th Street, SW, 7th Floor
Washington, District of Columbia 20202

Okay so... anyone wanna speculate as to what this is about?

Pelosi sez: Pass healthcare bill "so that you can find out what is in it"

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi made the following startling comment yesterday morning during her address at the 2010 Legislative Conference for National Association of Counties...
"You've heard about the controversies within the bill, the process about the bill, one or the other. But I don't know if you have heard that it is legislation for the future, not just about health care for America, but about a healthier America, where preventive care is not something that you have to pay a deductible for or out of pocket. Prevention, prevention, prevention—it's about diet, not diabetes. It's going to be very, very exciting.

"But we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it, away from the fog of the controversy. Furthermore, we believe that health care reform, again I said at the beginning of my remarks, that we sent the three pillars that the President's economic stabilization and job creation initiatives were education and innovation—innovation begins in the classroom—clean energy and climate, addressing the climate issues in an innovative way to keep us number one and competitive in the world with the new technology, and the third, first among equals I may say, is health care, health insurance reform. Health insurance reform is about jobs. This legislation alone will create 4 million jobs, about 400,000 jobs very soon."

I chose to quote a good portion of Pelosi's remarks, lest anyone accuse me of taking her out of context. You can read the full text of her speech here.

And look! Video!

What the #@$& is Pelosi saying?! Good Lord, is this woman thinking at all?! What the #@$& kind of "transparency" is that supposed to be?! "We have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it"?!

Hell, there could be anything in that monstrosity.

And brazenly adding that this is to avoid "the fog of the controversy"?! Mrs. Pelosi, if it weren't for that "controversy" then people like you would be able to get away with damned near whatever you wanted to do. What you call "controversy" is all too often the final tenuous precaution against a nation sliding full-bore into tyranny.

This woman has no business being anywhere in the government of a democratically-elected constitutional republic... let alone as the head speaker of its primary representative legislative body.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

"Dr. Linus": Post-episode reaction to tonight's LOST

So all this past week I've been inwardly bemoaning how this show needs to ratchet things up with ten regular episodes left before the series finale.

And then showrunners Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse bring us "Dr. Linus" (an episode directed by Mario Van Peebles, by the way), which was totally off the chain already for 59 minutes and then in the last 30 seconds...

Charles Widmore has returned.

That can't possibly be a good thing. Looks like that hella war for the Island is about to kick off bigtime.

Best. Season Six. Episode. Yet.

Which is what I had expected, since it was pretty obvious from the title that this was going to be a Ben-centric installment of Lost. The episodes focusing on Michael Emerson's character Benjamin Linus have been some of the strongest of the show's entire run. I wasn't disappointed at all. And in fact, this might have been the best of the Ben-intensive episodes. Certainly one of the best overall.

Other highlights: possibly the revelation of why Richard can't age (which we got before watching the most explosive game of chicken ever). The reason why Frank wasn't flying Oceanic 815. And even a hilarious wink toward the Nikki and Paulo fiasco.

But the highlight of this episode was the continuing evolution of Benjamin Linus from a cold-blooded schemer toward becoming a repentant human being longing for redemption. And on that note I thought that the "flashsideways" for this episode was the best of the season by far.

If the rest of the season can measure up to this one, then we are in for some of the greatest television ever.

I'll give "Dr. Linus" a 9.3 out of 10.

EDIT 10:31 p.m. EST: Am re-watching this episode and totally forgot about Ben's history lesson in the "X" timeline about Napoleon's exile on Elba. That's gotta be a big hint about the Man in Black's own nature and history. And the exchange between Ben and Locke in the teachers lounge? Pure Lost subtlety.

Monday, March 08, 2010

The first TRON LEGACY trailer has arrived!

Yowza!!!


Zap here to see the first trailer for Tron Legacy.

And December 17th can not get here fast enough. This is already looking like it's gonna be one of the greatest sequels ever.

More late night theologicalizing

Something that may or may not make it into the eventual publication of "The Chris Knight Dictionary" (working title)...
Salvation: (noun) That which can not be earned, can not be achieved, but nonetheless must be desired in order to acquire.
Comments, as always, are more than welcome.

HTML 5 is coming... and what's arriving with it

Not since I first began finagling with web pages in 1995 have I been so intrigued in a markup specification like the forthcoming HTML 5. Among other things it aims to get rid of embedded Flash video and similar presentations with a simple video tag.

(Meh. Don't particularly care for that one just yet. I don't really see what the problem is with Flash, other than it won't work on iPhone and other mobile devices but that's an issue of Flash's interactivity colliding with touch-screens.)

Anyhoo, Neil McAllister has an in-depth essay about HTML 5 and what we can expect from it at the InfoWorld site. Well worth reading even if you're just a casual tinkerer with HTML.

Sunday, March 07, 2010

Saw THE CRAZIES this weekend

Whilst out and about yesterday I got to see The Crazies, which opened a little over a week ago.

The Crazies was a movie that wasn't quite what I was expecting, but was far better than I had anticipated. I haven't seen the 1973 original directed by George Romero (who also produced this remake) but from what I understand the premise is the same: a military cargo plane crashes near a small town and begins leaking something into the water supply. The "something" in question happens to be a virus engineered for biological warfare. Needless to say, this can't end well for the people of Ogden Marsh, Iowa. Usually decent-minded folks begin going mad with homicidal tendencies. And then like what usually happens in tales like this, the military comes in to mop-up the mess and try to contain the infection before it spreads out into the wider world.

I think what makes The Crazies stand out most to me in terms of modern-day cinematic retelling is that this is a film that doesn't use the opportunity to pour on the extra gory. Director Breck Eisner took the road less traveled and made The Crazies a story about survival against the odds, instead of focusing too much time on the nastier things that the virus is causing these people to do. I liked that. It's not something that is often seen in modern horror movies but I appreciated it greatly.

By the way, don't leave just yet as the movie ends. There's one more bit of The Crazies that plays during the credits that you won't wanna miss.

Iceland citizens vote no on government bailout of failed bank

I don't get it: why don't those Icelanders take on the extra $3.5 billion in debt that would have been incurred by their politicians bailing out the British and Dutch for the failure of Landsbanki, by borrowing more money and creating massive inflation of the currency?

I mean, that's what we do here in the United States, ain't it?!

Seriously though: nice to see some fiscal sanity in this world. Maybe our Icelandic friends could consider exporting some of that here.

Mash down here for more of the story. Worth keeping an eye on as no doubt the European Community is going to be looking to retaliate against Iceland for its gumption.

Saturday, March 06, 2010

Score tonight: Duke 82, UNC 50

It was like watching the old "Four Corners" play that the Tarheels were notorious for before the institution of the shot clock... but with the Tarheels losing!

Look, I'm not all that much of a sports fanatic, but something is seriously off-kilter in this state so far as basketball goes.

As one friend put it a few weeks ago, it's pretty sad when the best team in North Carolina right now is the Bobcats :-P

It's Steven Glaspie and three bestselling Star Wars authors!

This morning good friend and fellow Eagle Scout Steven Glaspie (who needs to update his blog sometime: something about being too busy with his sweet lass of a girlfriend lately...) and I went to StellarCon 34 in High Point. 'Twas Steven's very first sci-fi convention. Well, he didn't know as much going in but I'd already heard that three of his favorite Star Wars writers were going to be there. I've met with Timothy Zahn, Michael Stackpole and Aaron Allston quite a few times over the years (including an interview I got to with Zahn for TheForce.net years ago) and had some photos with each of them already. But for Steven, it was an entirely new experience! So I got a pic of all of them together...


(left to right: Michael Stackpole, Steven Glaspie, Timothy Zahn, Aaron Allston)

Allston, Stackpole and Zahn did a panel discussion for an hour and a half this morning that we got to attend, and Steven and I both came away very thankful and appreciative of what these three writers shared with everyone.

Okay Steven, feel free to put that pic on your blog. Or do something to update it, bro! :-P

THE WICKER MAN featuring Jim Henson's Muppets

I would pay to see Muppet Studios make a real project out of this...

Cartoonist Paul O'Connell has created this OUTRAGEOUSLY smart mash-up of animated felt and pagan ritual: a homage to both the Muppets and the classic 1973 horror movie The Wicker Man. I honked out loud with laughter at Kermit playing Sergeant Howie, but it's Gonzo taking Christopher Lee's place as Lord Summerisle that really fixes this spoof into your gray matter.

Click on the above link for more.

Security Theatre: Full-body scanners begin to be deployed (and how to possibly foil those using them)

Eleven airports - most of them in the Midwest and California but also Charlotte-Douglas International here in North Carolina - will be the first in the country to receive the full-body scanners that create a virtually naked image of the person being examined and leave nothing to the imagination.

The Transportation Security Administration, and the Department of Homeland Security over it, claims that the images created by these machines are not stored in any way.

Does anybody possessing more than the minimum neurons for a working ganglia honestly believe anything that this asshat excuse for a government tells us anymore?

This is simply more "security theatre": measures that make it look like our government is sincerely doing something to deter "the terrists" but in reality is just a multi-billion dollar puppet show.

If the government was serious about both stopping terrorism and serving its people, domestic airports would adopt the tactics of those in Israel. I'm told by many people that the average time between arriving at the terminal at Ben Gurion International Airport and then coming to the gate for departure is around 15 to 25 minutes... with no shoes being removed and certainly no full-body scans! And Israel has a helluva lot fewer problems with airborne terrorism as a result (like, none at all).

What are the Israelis doing that we Americans aren't? From the moment a passenger arrives at the ticket counter onward, he or she is being observed by airport staff. That pretty lady behind the counter who's pleasantly asking you about your trip and your business? She's actually watching how you react to her questions. Israeli airport personnel are fully trained to watch for nervousness, hesitancy, and a lot of other indications that I could only speculate about. If there's enough reason to deem a person to be of interest as a potential threat, that person is discreetly taken aside and questioned without disrupting service to any other passengers.

It's a very simple system and it works brilliantly! And if the United States government had any sense it would adopt a similar plan for our own air travel.

I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for that to happen though. Nor do I plan on partaking in any air travel if it can at all be avoided.

But in the even that do have to travel by plane, I intend to purchase several packs of these things. Allegedly they're supposed to really work in defeating the peculiar wavelengths of the full-body scanners. So my scheme is to get several of them and assemble some makeshift undergarments that will not only shield me from the radiation of the scanners, but will also display the letters "F U" across what would otherwise be my bare behind.

Don't think that I wouldn't do it, either!

Friday, March 05, 2010

1992 prison training video... starring Michael Emerson!

Right about the same time that Benjamin Linus was helping the Island's indigenous natives by betraying his fellow DHARMA Initiative members in the Purge, the man who would one day portray him on Lost was getting some acting work under his belt. Like this strange training video intended for correctional facilities.

Here is Michael Emerson as prison counselor "Mr. Andrews". And I think you'll agree: even at this early stage in his career, we can see Ben Linus peeking out from behind those eyes of Emerson...

I'm sure that with some clever editing Mr. Higgins could be replaced with Michael screaming and ranting "WAAAAAAALT!!!" :-P

Physicists create "negatively-strange antihypermatter"

Someday in our foreseeable future, our children will be learning about chemistry with a periodic table that looks something like this...

...no thanks to researchers conducting experiments with the Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider at Brookhaven National Laboratory.

According to this article at The Register (which reads disturbingly too much like a quantum physics essay written by Alex DeLarge from A Clockwork Orange) the "topflight international reverse-alchemy boffins say they have managed to transmute gold into an entirely new form of 'negatively strange' antihypernucleic antimatter, ultra-bizarre stuff which cannot possibly occur naturally - except perhaps inside the cores of collapsed stars."

In layman's terms it's a new form of matter whose strangeness is less than zero but probably not too boring.

I'm currently hopped-up on allergy medicine, and I still have no idea what the hell all of that means.

CBS SUNDAY MORNING this week to spotlight Neil Gaiman!

Neil Gaiman, in the opinion of a very many people, is one of the greatest and most masterful writers of our modern age. Lately I've found myself re-reading his classic Sandman series and found myself enjoying it just as much today as I did when I first discovered it years ago... if not more so.

Well if you also appreciate Gaiman's work, you'll be pleased to know that according to his Twitter page, Neil Gaiman will be the focus of a segment this weekend on CBS Sunday Morning...

Looks like the CBS Sunday Morning profile of me goes out this Sunday. In the morning. Barring natural disasters or breaking news of course.
Very cool! I'm a way longtime viewer of CBS Sunday Morning and have always enjoyed its stories and unique pace. Somehow, a feature on Neil Gaiman seems just perfect.

(By the way, have I ever told y'all that I can do a spot-on impersonation of late creator of CBS Sunday Morning Charles Kuralt? Maybe I should post that as a YouTube clip sometime :-)

CBS Sunday Morning comes on at 9 a.m. EST, but check yer local listings to be sure and set those DVRs!

This came to mind while working on stuff this morning

God will take us just as we are... and He won't stop working to make us more than we were.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

A clarification of policy

I don't do predictions about politics. Politics is too predictable.

Found: The meaning of life!

Longtime friend and filmmaking collaborator "Weird" Ed Woody found the following and sent it this way. I don't know who came up with it, but it's hilarious! 'Twas screaming to be shared with y'all :-)
The Meaning of Life Explained

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" So God agreed...

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?" And God agreed...

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?" And God agreed again...

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years." But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back? That makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God. "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

All Points Bulletin issued for Ron Paul's necktie

Take a look at the necktie that Ron Paul is wearing in this photograph...

The Honorable Representative Dr. Paul has been spotted wearing this tie quite often lately. And my good friend Danny de Garcia II has become obsessed with finding that particular necktie! As Danny puts it...

"There it is again. Notice how sharp his tie looks with the light blue, silver blue, blue pinstripe and white. I'm looking for that tie."
So let's help Danny find Ron Paul's necktie, boys and girls!! If you know where to find this thing, e-mail me at theknightshift@gmail.com and I'll pass the info along to Danny A.S.A.P.!

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

How J.J. Abrams' STAR TREK should have ended

Those wonderfully demented folks at How It Should Have Ended have struck again! This time the target is last year's stellar smash hit Star Trek, which was directed by J.J. Abrams and used every lens flare plug-in on the market.

Here's how Star Trek should have ended...

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

"Sundown": Post-episode reaction to tonight's LOST

That was hella AWESOME!!! From the bare-knuckle slug-out fight between Sayid and Dogen, right up to the last few minutes of this extra-long episode (something we haven't had since Season 2).

But did anyone else feel a little let down about the "answers" that had been promised all this past week for "Sundown"? What questions got answered? The one about Dogen's baseball? Or what the Man in Black is? Not really blown away in that department...

...but this was still a solid episode of Lost and the final moments were a heart-pounding ramp-up to... WHAT?!? I got the sense that payoff for the past five years is going to begin in earnest next week. Producers Cuse and Lindelof have no choice. This is near the top of the ninth inning. And they've been pulling white rabbits out of their hat for too long.

Now it's time for them to pull out an alligator.

I'll give "Sundown" a 9 out of 10.

Let down... and thankful for it

This has been an odd day for me. I had some business in Greensboro during the morning and first part of the afternoon and barely got back before it started snowing again. The local meteorologists this morning called for "an inch" at most of the white stuff accumulating but as I look out my window it's more like 2 inches and still climbing.

It would have been almost perfect were it not for the less-than-encouraging news that arrived to me today. About how a potentially very neat opportunity that I was set to go to some drastic extremes to pursue... won't be happening now after all.

But it's the funniest thing: in spite of how big a loss this is for me, I haven't felt disappointed by it at all.

Ten years ago there was another opportunity that I very nearly had in my grasp, only to watch it also be taken away. At the time it devastated me. And the one now was vastly greater than that one had been.

But this afternoon and evening, I haven't felt fazed by it at all.

Why? What's the difference between then and now?

I would have to say that I am at a place now in my life where I can definitely look back and see that instead of setting value of my happiness on my terms, I am now letting it abide with God and what He would have for me. His expectations are not my own... and I'm now thankful for that.

Hey, ten years ago I didn't know what the heck I was doing, fresh out of college and then hit with one disaster after another. If anyone had told me then about the things that were going to happen in my life afterward, I would have looked at that person as if he had grown three heads and purple feathers.

It hasn't been a perfect ride... but it's been an awesome ride all the same. If God can do it before, He can do it again and even more amazing the next time.

I have faith that God is taking me somewhere. That He has barely begun the work of the life of Chris Knight. I'm not saying that it's going to happen tomorrow or soon, and I don't want to either. Many years after the Vietnam War, Admiral James Stockdale spoke about his eight years as a POW and who among his comrades didn't survive...

"Oh, that's easy, the optimists. They were the ones who said, We're going to be out by Christmas.' And Christmas would come and go. Then they’d say, 'We're going to be out by Easter.' And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart."
So what was it that let Stockdale have the strength to endure that unspeakable hardship?

"I never lost faith in the end of the story. I never doubted not only that we would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event in my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade."
Wherever we are now, each of us, along the path of life: this is not the destination. It's not even close to where God has in store for us. This is just preparation for the journey ahead. And we shouldn't let the disappointments of the moment deter us from the greater things still to come.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future..."

-- Jeremiah 29:11

My plans for now are kaput. But His plans are still unfolding.

And if for no other reason, that is why I am feeling joyful tonight :-)

A thought on politics and prayer

Instead of asking God to move the minds of politicians closer to your beliefs, why not ask God to move your own mind closer to Himself?

Seems that would be a more effective use of prayer, anyway. And would likely work a far more impressive and greater good across society in the long run.

"Weird Al" Yankovic sex tape appears online!

If you are at work, make darned sure that the boss isn't watching. If you have small children, make them leave the room. Because this is without a doubt one of the most disturbing, filthy, and inappropriate videos that I have ever seen in my life!

But there's no denying it: "Weird Al" Yankovic has gone where none of us thought he would ever go before, and made a sexually titillating video that defies all standards of decency.

Have you got what it takes to see Weird Al in an act of supreme self-abasement? Have you?!?

Because if you do...

CLICK HERE TO WATCH

Remember: You have been warned.

Just about the most pathetic lure for malware I've EVER seen

This landed in my e-mail and thought I'd pass it along for y'all to laugh at also...
Leaked deleted harry potter chapter

Harry Potter to me
6:44 AM (1 hour ago)

Thought you might like to see this. It's a leaked champter
which the editor removed from the last Harry Potter book.

You won't believe what was in it. I saw it in the news today and found it online, but I don't know how long it'll last. Getit while you can!

(LINK REMOVED)

Use regular download, not premium. That way you don't have to pay anything.

I didn't have to do a search on Google News to know this one was phony as they come. The idea of J.K. Rowling writing a chapter that her editors wouldn't think appropriate for the best-selling fictional series of all time is hilarious!

Monday, March 01, 2010

Trailer for ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER

You know him as Lincoln the Rail-Splitter, Lincoln the Lawyer, and Lincoln the President of the United States.

Now, bestselling historical author Seth Grahame-Smith has uncovered the true story of Lincoln... the Vampire Slayer.

Behold the trailer for the book!

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter should be in bookstores everywhere about now, and will almost certainly become required reading in history classrooms across the country.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Am watching BEN-HUR on Turner Classic Movies right now

Yeah the one with Charlton Heston, not the black and white silent original.

I don't know what's a sadder commentary: that a film this epic and majestic couldn't be made today without computer-generated effects, that Ben-Hur would likely not even been greenlit for production by modern studios, or that current audiences would generally lack the attention span that those of fifty years ago possessed to really take in this kind of a movie.

I've thought for a long time that a film should be judged according to its own time. In its own way, Ben-Hur and movies like it are an excellent synopsis of the sort of people who both made these films, and who appreciated them most.

Sorta a psychological historical document, when you think about it.

Congratulations are in order tonight!!!

Good news from a couple of my Theatre Guild peeps this evening!

First of all, there is good friend Jessica Gray, who is now engaged! Her boyfriend last night proposed to her in front of about 500 of their close personal friends :-)

And also bigtime congratulations to Marlo Nall, another friend, who just announced that there will be no doubt another happy member of our troupe as she will be a mother later this year!

Funny: I was telling Marlo just two months ago that she was going to make a great mommy someday. And last night for no obvious reason it popped into my head "It's almost time for Jessica to get engaged."

If someone else in the Theatre Guild has another great announcement tonight, it'll be a trifecta!

Seriously though: Congratulations Jessica and Marlo! And God be with you and yours as you begin y'all's next scenes in the drama of life :-)

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Classic SESAME STREET: The Cookie Counter

Ernie should have just kept pointing!

Chile earthquake is making scientific and television history

First things first: The proprietor of this blog extends his own thoughts and prayers to the very many that are going out to our friends down Chile way today, in the aftermath of the 8.8 earthquake that rocked that country in the wee hours this morning.

And by the way, it's a great testament to that country about how on the ball the folks are about this. I've heard only great things about Chile over the years and the speed and diligence that they have exerted in dealing with this disaster, makes me compelled to tip my hat to 'em.

If you haven't already today, it would - not to put too fine a point on it - be extremely recommended that you tune in right now to CNN or Fox News or whatever, and check out the live feed coming from Hawaii, which looks to have dodged the proverbial bullet so far as tsunami are concerned. There have been significantly higher waves hitting Hawaii but so far, nothing of serious consequence (and let's pray it stays that way). The truly fascinating thing that I'm finding from all of this is that, for the first time that I can remember it happening anyway, possible tsunami have been anticipated and evacuations well underway... and before television cameras for all the world to see, too.

Considering that the Boxing Day Tsunami was just over five years ago, that's a huge leap in technology and means of geological analysis and prediction.

Gotta love science :-)

US court ruling gives zombies free speech rights

Constitutional rights are no longer applicable only to living citizens, but to the undead ones as well.

Here's the story from Metro.co.uk...

US court rules 'Zombies have free speech rights'

A court has allowed a group of protesters dressed as zombies to continue with a lawsuit against police who arrested them for disorderly conduct.

The appeal court overturned a previous finding that the group had correctly been arrested over a 2006 protest in a shopping centre.

The group had been wearing makeup designed to make them look like and extra in a horror flick, with white faces, fake blood and black circles round their eyes.

They then proceeded to stagger round the shops, urging consumers to "get your brains here".

They also carried audio equipment, which police described as "simulated weapons of mass destruction", even though they were mobile phones.

The appeals court ruled that the police had no reason to imprison the protesters simply for "dressing as zombies, and walking erratically in downtown Minneapolis."

Thankfully, everyone else still has our Second Amendment rights and will be ready to employ it when the inevitable zombie apocalypse descends upon us :-P

Friday, February 26, 2010

Awright, new terminology...

I don't like the term "insane". I prefer "mentally hilarious".

(Shamelessly stolen from Bryan and Kathy Shepley :-)

Climatological wishful thinking

This is one winter that makes global warming sound like a pretty darned good idea.

Andrew Koenig's most amazing role

By now you've no doubt heard about actor Andrew Koenig, who was found dead in a park in Vancouver, Canada several hours ago.

Most people remember Koenig (son of Walter Koenig who played Pavel Chekov on Star Trek) as "Boner", the best friend of Kirk Cameron's Mike Seaver on Growing Pains. But a few years ago there was a film that Andrew Koenig appeared in, and played no small part. Indeed, for the many of us who have seen this we can't but be astonished at the incredible power and potential that Koenig had as an actor. It was definitely a sign that he was going to go far. I've even heard some say that Koenig's portrayal of the Joker is the most faithful take on the character in cinema history.

So in memory of Andrew Koenig, here is Batman: Dead End...

Thursday, February 25, 2010

This blog needs some more beautiful on it...

...so once again, here is my cousin Lauryn.

Curiously, every time I post a photo of her, this blog's counter starts skyrocketing.

Question for my Twitter-in' peeps

What's the best third-party application/front end thingy to use with Twitter?

I'm beginning to use my own Twitter account a lot more, including photos and probably video as well. It would also be nice to have something that would, if at all possible, automatically aggregate tweets/twits/whatever addressed to me so that I see 'em without having to just happen upon them.

So what would y'all recommend? :-)

Not a trap: Ole Miss might make Admiral Ackbar its new sports mascot

The University of Mississipi, better known as Ole Miss, retired its previous mascot Colonel Reb a few years ago. The school has put it up to the student body to select the next standard bearer of athletic pride.

Looks like Ole Miss is going to replace a colonel with an admiral. Namely, Admiral Ackbar from the Star Wars movies. Ackbar has emerged as the front-runner among the possible candidates for the mascot job.

"It's a trap!"? No, and it's not a joke either. Assuming the lawyers at Lucasfilm (who I have a more than cursory knowledge about, and that's as much as I dare say about that) lets Ole Miss do it, the Mon Calamari tactical genius who orchestrated the assault on the second Death Star could very well be leading the cheers at the football and basketball games!

I like what one person has said about Admiral Ackbar at Ole Miss: "Well it does rebrand the Confederate cause in far more positive way -- I say they run with it. In fact, Ackbar's leadership as a symbol of the diversity of the Rebel Alliance against the human supremacist Empire reverses the whole image problem! Remember, the Rebel Alliance was fighting Palpatine's 'Grand Army of the Republic.'"

Yeah, I guess that's one way of looking at it. But still, even being a die-hard Star Wars geek (and proud of it!), if I were at Ole Miss and had some say in who the new sports mascot should be, and if it had to be an aquatic alien, I wouldn't have considered Admiral Ackbar at all (no offense Acky).

Instead I would have suggested Cthulhu from the writings of H.P. Lovecraft...

Can you imagine the sheer terror that would be evoked by such a thing? And hey, Ole Miss could rename their team to be the "Ole Miss Old Ones"!!

Color me officially intrigued by Bloom Energy

Heaven only knows how many alternative energy schemes have been proposed over the years, only to watch all of 'em that come to mind fail to deliver the promised goods of cheap, clean power.

But having read about it for the past few weeks, and now seeing what was unveiled yesterday by the company, I think there's a LOT of potential in what Bloom Energy has come up with.

Imagine ten years from now, having a brick-sized energy server supplying all of the electricity to your house. No power lines or anything. A few weeks ago my house went 22 hours without power during a severe winter storm, along with 43,000 other people in this county. That would be a thing of the past, along with monthly bills from the power company.

Well, possibly. PCWorld's website has ten questions about the Bloom Energy Server that lots of folks will probably be asking.

Can't wait to see how this unfolds :-)

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Had an interesting day

Edited a bunch of video, worked on a writing project, fixed a nasty computer problem, got sent on an impromptu medical mission of mercy of sorts, and tonight I found something that I've been searching for the past, oh, twenty-two years.

And thank the Lord, it didn't snow!

Now let's see what the morrow brings with it...

Not interchangeable

Power can come from enlightenment, but enlightenment can never come from power.

To ALL those good people in Jamaica who are visiting this blog right now...

Greetings! :-)