During last night and into early this morning, a huge swath of the state got blanketed with 4-8 inches of snow. Here's how it looked at my house around 7:30 this morning.
Thursday, February 26, 2015
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Tammy wants to sing to you...
Behold her beautiful singing voice!
Been too long since I've posted any pics of Tammy. I happened to catch her right in the midst of one of her yawns (which, it must be said, sound hilariously cute):
Been too long since I've posted any pics of Tammy. I happened to catch her right in the midst of one of her yawns (which, it must be said, sound hilariously cute):
Monday, February 23, 2015
Let her go? Queen Elsa arrested near Charleston for FROZEN weather
Disclaimer: I have yet to see Disney's Frozen, so I have no idea about how extensive Elsa's criminal activities go. I'm assuming they are pretty pervasive, given how much I've heard it talked about by numerous children I've found myself around.
Just days after police in Harlan, Kentucky issued a warrant for her arrest, Queen Elsa was located this morning all the way in Hanahan: a small town near Charleston, South Carolina. Hanahan police spotted Elsa freezing a fountain in broad daylight. Police swooped in and arrested the Snow Queen before she could bring down the fury of a cold front threatening the area.
ABC News 4 is reporting that...
No word on whether Elsa began singing "Let Me Go" after being handcuffed.
ABC News 4 is reporting that...
With more bitter cold heading to the Lowcountry this week, Hanahan police officers tried to do their part to stop the encroaching weather by arresting the Snow Queen.
Police Chief Mike Cochran and Officer Flor Reyes made the arrest.
In this case, police could not let her go after spotting her freezing a fountain in Hanahan. However, she was freed after a bond court hearing. Apparently the ice melted before the hearing, taking with it any evidence.The ABC News 4 link has much more about Elsa's arrest, including several other photos among them pics of her getting her bond hearing.
No word on whether Elsa began singing "Let Me Go" after being handcuffed.
Sunday, February 22, 2015
I suppose nothing good lasts forever
The Walking Dead may have jumped the shark tonight.
I'm not the only one with that estimation. Many others are expressing the same thing.
This show has gone political, and far too blatantly so.
This episode had one and only one purpose. It was one scene. A scene designed to throw something into the face of viewers. And that's all that this episode was meant to do.
I don't care for that no matter what one's persuasion may be. What I've enjoyed most of The Walking Dead is that it explores the human condition in the face of the most trying of circumstances, and it does so without regard to political perspectives. That's what has made The Walking Dead such refreshing viewing.
Tonight The Walking Dead fell back into the gutter that is most of the rest of television.
Very disappointed. Very.
I'm not the only one with that estimation. Many others are expressing the same thing.
This show has gone political, and far too blatantly so.
This episode had one and only one purpose. It was one scene. A scene designed to throw something into the face of viewers. And that's all that this episode was meant to do.
I don't care for that no matter what one's persuasion may be. What I've enjoyed most of The Walking Dead is that it explores the human condition in the face of the most trying of circumstances, and it does so without regard to political perspectives. That's what has made The Walking Dead such refreshing viewing.
Tonight The Walking Dead fell back into the gutter that is most of the rest of television.
Very disappointed. Very.
Movies I've Never Seen: First edition has Chris abiding THE BIG LEBOWSKI
This is the first installment of something that I've had in mind to do for a few years now. I think this is going to be a fun new feature of The Knight Shift.
Here's the deal: my DVR is loaded... and I mean loaded... with movies that for some reason or another I've never watched before in my entire life. They've just been sitting there, waiting for me to take the time to partake of them. And as time goes by and especially as I find my knowledge of films has some significant gaps in it, I increasingly find myself wondering "what the heck's in there?"
So I'm finally going to see what these movies are about, and then share my thoughts about them here on this blog. This is going to be an ongoing if irregular feature, but I'll try to do it at least once a month (the next few movies have already been selected.).
So without further ado, kicking it all off is a movie that a lot of people were abjectly shocked that I had never watched before...
The Big Lebowski (1998)
I had to watch this three times before I felt confident enough to write about it and even now, I'm wondering if I "get" it on a level comparable to that of others.
Now, I did enjoy The Big Lebowski. It's a Coen Brothers film, with all of the quirkiness that I've come to expect of them. No, more than that: it's their signature style all cranked up on high-octane crystal meth, and it makes for a hella fun ride. But my biggest problem with The Big Lebowski is that there is not one character - other than Donny and The Stranger - who I felt any measure of sympathy or empathy for.
Take Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski (Jeff Bridges) f'rinstance. The central character to this mad tale of mistaken identity, bowling, and absconding trophy wives. I liked The Dude. He is, as The Stranger puts it, a man for his time and place. But I didn't particularly feel moved by him. He's someone to watch, not to be become attached to. Like a lab rat running around trying to navigate a maze... or doing its damndest to not be devoured by a rattlesnake. That, to me, is The Dude: a slacker out of his league (though certainly not by his own free will) who finds himself a pawn in a larger game. But that is all that he is to me: a pawn in a larger game. Although just as in chess, the pawn that reaches the final row can become a greater piece... and that is what The Dude is in the end. That's all that we know of him after that, what The Stranger tells us. I like to think that The Dude finally grows up and becomes more than the person we've spent two hours watching in this mad manic adventure.
And then there is Walter (John Goodman). Again, no real attachment to this character. In some ways he's more pathetic than The Dude. Stuck in the past, unable to move beyond his failed marriage. Still trapped by his ex-wife. Using his unresolved anger about the Vietnam War as a cover (barely) for his frustrations. Am I supposed to feel anything for Walter? I lost any possible sympathy for him when he whipped his piece out at the bowling alley and threatened poor Smokey. And he was already blowing whatever goodwill he may have had with his torrent of F-bombs at Donny (Steve Buscemi).
Like I said, these aren't characters that I particularly "liked". With two exceptions. One of them is Donny, who is suffering all of this nonsense with an extreme amount of grace. Donny seems to be the only one of this trio of bowling buddies who I had any sense of appreciation toward. Which makes what happens to him later so tragic, even heartbreaking.
And then there's The Stranger (Sam Elliott, wonderful as always). The character who I found myself relating to the most. In large part it's because of his aversion to the harsh language throughout this movie (and in all sincerity, there is too much of it). But even that is an aspect of a larger dimension to The Stranger. He's the cypher, the framing device that puts the glorious mess of The Big Lebowski into proper perspective. The Stranger is the keystone of the entire enterprise. Without him as the bookends of this film, there is not much more than a barely-coherent mess populated by this Greek chorus of colorful if not likable characters.
This is not an enviable set of circumstances at all, from start to finish. I mean, The Dude gets his head plunged into a toilet, fercryinoutloud. And then his quest to replace his rug (it really tied the room together) runs afoul of hostage situations, drugged-up visions and ninja-esque nihilists. Again, all involving more characters that I didn't have any sense of empathy toward.
Maybe that's part of the point of this movie. It's to be witnessed, not to have any feelings of associating with. It's to be enjoyed, not to necessarily be understood and much less embraced. It's kinda like a comedy out of the Sixties. Yes, this is the Coen Brothers paying homage to Blake Edwards, as only they can.
All of that said, I did enjoy The Big Lebowski. A lot. It is a Coen Brothers movie, and true to their style it's a work which is greater than the sum of its parts. Taken apart and divvied-up, there is not much to really enjoy. But mash all of those characters and situations together, and it's well-orchestrated hilarity flying past the retina in connected episodes of mayhem and Chandler-esque mystery.
So, I finally watched The Big Lebowski, and I find my knowledge of movies all the more enlightened for it. I'm wondering if it's too early to put this film on the National Film Registry, as happened recently. But maybe with more viewings I'll come to understand and appreciate that more. And I do plan to watch it a few more times, at least.
Anyway, let's go bowling...
Here's the deal: my DVR is loaded... and I mean loaded... with movies that for some reason or another I've never watched before in my entire life. They've just been sitting there, waiting for me to take the time to partake of them. And as time goes by and especially as I find my knowledge of films has some significant gaps in it, I increasingly find myself wondering "what the heck's in there?"
So I'm finally going to see what these movies are about, and then share my thoughts about them here on this blog. This is going to be an ongoing if irregular feature, but I'll try to do it at least once a month (the next few movies have already been selected.).
So without further ado, kicking it all off is a movie that a lot of people were abjectly shocked that I had never watched before...
The Big Lebowski (1998)
Now, I did enjoy The Big Lebowski. It's a Coen Brothers film, with all of the quirkiness that I've come to expect of them. No, more than that: it's their signature style all cranked up on high-octane crystal meth, and it makes for a hella fun ride. But my biggest problem with The Big Lebowski is that there is not one character - other than Donny and The Stranger - who I felt any measure of sympathy or empathy for.
Take Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski (Jeff Bridges) f'rinstance. The central character to this mad tale of mistaken identity, bowling, and absconding trophy wives. I liked The Dude. He is, as The Stranger puts it, a man for his time and place. But I didn't particularly feel moved by him. He's someone to watch, not to be become attached to. Like a lab rat running around trying to navigate a maze... or doing its damndest to not be devoured by a rattlesnake. That, to me, is The Dude: a slacker out of his league (though certainly not by his own free will) who finds himself a pawn in a larger game. But that is all that he is to me: a pawn in a larger game. Although just as in chess, the pawn that reaches the final row can become a greater piece... and that is what The Dude is in the end. That's all that we know of him after that, what The Stranger tells us. I like to think that The Dude finally grows up and becomes more than the person we've spent two hours watching in this mad manic adventure.
And then there is Walter (John Goodman). Again, no real attachment to this character. In some ways he's more pathetic than The Dude. Stuck in the past, unable to move beyond his failed marriage. Still trapped by his ex-wife. Using his unresolved anger about the Vietnam War as a cover (barely) for his frustrations. Am I supposed to feel anything for Walter? I lost any possible sympathy for him when he whipped his piece out at the bowling alley and threatened poor Smokey. And he was already blowing whatever goodwill he may have had with his torrent of F-bombs at Donny (Steve Buscemi).
Like I said, these aren't characters that I particularly "liked". With two exceptions. One of them is Donny, who is suffering all of this nonsense with an extreme amount of grace. Donny seems to be the only one of this trio of bowling buddies who I had any sense of appreciation toward. Which makes what happens to him later so tragic, even heartbreaking.
And then there's The Stranger (Sam Elliott, wonderful as always). The character who I found myself relating to the most. In large part it's because of his aversion to the harsh language throughout this movie (and in all sincerity, there is too much of it). But even that is an aspect of a larger dimension to The Stranger. He's the cypher, the framing device that puts the glorious mess of The Big Lebowski into proper perspective. The Stranger is the keystone of the entire enterprise. Without him as the bookends of this film, there is not much more than a barely-coherent mess populated by this Greek chorus of colorful if not likable characters.
This is not an enviable set of circumstances at all, from start to finish. I mean, The Dude gets his head plunged into a toilet, fercryinoutloud. And then his quest to replace his rug (it really tied the room together) runs afoul of hostage situations, drugged-up visions and ninja-esque nihilists. Again, all involving more characters that I didn't have any sense of empathy toward.
Maybe that's part of the point of this movie. It's to be witnessed, not to have any feelings of associating with. It's to be enjoyed, not to necessarily be understood and much less embraced. It's kinda like a comedy out of the Sixties. Yes, this is the Coen Brothers paying homage to Blake Edwards, as only they can.
All of that said, I did enjoy The Big Lebowski. A lot. It is a Coen Brothers movie, and true to their style it's a work which is greater than the sum of its parts. Taken apart and divvied-up, there is not much to really enjoy. But mash all of those characters and situations together, and it's well-orchestrated hilarity flying past the retina in connected episodes of mayhem and Chandler-esque mystery.
So, I finally watched The Big Lebowski, and I find my knowledge of movies all the more enlightened for it. I'm wondering if it's too early to put this film on the National Film Registry, as happened recently. But maybe with more viewings I'll come to understand and appreciate that more. And I do plan to watch it a few more times, at least.
Anyway, let's go bowling...
Thursday, February 19, 2015
Catherine Rose: Mother, genius, communications pioneer
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| Catherine Rose and her daughter Alexis |
Catherine and her husband are blessed to be the parents of two beautiful daughters. One of them, Alexis, was born with severe disabilities that prevent her from learning and communicating as other children her age. It was something that led Catherine to take a position at Philips and their healthcare division. In her time at Philips, Catherine has led the development of a system which could be used by Alexis and countless others to express thoughts and ideas that would otherwise be extremely difficult. Catherine's technology, called LightAide, is now being employed throughout the world by people from all walks of life. For her efforts, she and her team have been lauded with many awards from the healthcare and engineering communities.
I know of no other way to put it than this: Catherine Rose is the precisely right person to accomplish this magnificent task. I can not possibly think of anyone else so gifted and given such an opportunity to share that gift with so many.
And now Catherine has been named among The Mighty! That website has just posted an in-depth conversation with Catherine in regard to her family, LightAide, and how technology is providing a bridge across which we all may span together...
Rose noticed her daughter's attraction to lights and convinced her employer to build a teaching tool to help children with visual impairments learn. LightAide is now being used around the world by people of all ages, and, just as important, by their teachers and caregivers, who are beginning to realize their charges might have better cognitive abilities than previously thought.
"There's a whole lot of people who have vision, but they have low vision," Rose said. "They can't see as well in the light that we normally give them. But if we give them more light, then they may be able to use more vision."Mash here for more of The Mighty's interview with Catherine.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
From inside the chrysalis
The realization has been growing in the past several weeks and months that I have not written much of the kind of serious material that I used to do.
Okay, not exactly true. There have been dozens upon dozens of pages of written work that I have been producing, for the past nine months. But it hasn't seen the light of day because it's all for the book I'm writing about having manic-depression.
(Well, that isn't exactly true either. Every so often I'll play a game with my friends on Facebook, telling them that if my status gets so-and-so many "likes" that I'll post a sentence from my manuscript. Sort-of my way of beta-testing the tone that the writing is in as I'm writing it.)
No, what I mean is: I haven't been writing any serious contemplations or musings on my blog in what seems like forever. And I'm wondering why that is. Especially because I've been told that those have been some of the posts that have consistently drawn a readership here.
Maybe it's because I'm changing as a person. And I think that writing the book is the biggest reason. Yes, it's taken up a lot of time and energy that would otherwise be spent blogging from my heart and soul. But it's also compelling me to develop as a writer.
More than that: I'm metamorphosing as a person.
Dad's passing certainly figures into the equation. It took a lot out of me. It took out things that only now am I really beginning to recover from. But I think that I'm coming away from it stronger as a person, and I know that Dad would appreciate it.
For those of you who have asked if I'm ever going to do "serious" stuff again here: yes. Absolutely. I have every intention of doing so. But for now, I have to see where this goes. Where God is taking me. What He is making me into. I'm inside a chrysalis and I have no idea what it is that I'm supposed to be when I emerge from it. All I can do in the meantime is continue to grow and change and experience the delights of mere becoming.
More and more, the title I have in mind for my book is being more appropriate. Four words. Four syllables. But those four words are packed with meaning. And if (or "when" as my friends keep telling me) it is published, the final sentence is going to really slam home what manic-depression has done to my life. But that may not be all a bad thing. I'm still growing toward that as a person. Which is going to make that last sentence as much a thing of wonder for me as I hope it will be for you.
In the meantime, I keep writing. I keep evolving. I keep being shaped and molded according to His will and not my own. But I do think very much so that after seeing how far this goes, that I will come out of it a stronger person of the pen. And I'm looking forward to writing more of that kind of stuff for y'all.
Okay, not exactly true. There have been dozens upon dozens of pages of written work that I have been producing, for the past nine months. But it hasn't seen the light of day because it's all for the book I'm writing about having manic-depression.
(Well, that isn't exactly true either. Every so often I'll play a game with my friends on Facebook, telling them that if my status gets so-and-so many "likes" that I'll post a sentence from my manuscript. Sort-of my way of beta-testing the tone that the writing is in as I'm writing it.)
No, what I mean is: I haven't been writing any serious contemplations or musings on my blog in what seems like forever. And I'm wondering why that is. Especially because I've been told that those have been some of the posts that have consistently drawn a readership here.
Maybe it's because I'm changing as a person. And I think that writing the book is the biggest reason. Yes, it's taken up a lot of time and energy that would otherwise be spent blogging from my heart and soul. But it's also compelling me to develop as a writer.
More than that: I'm metamorphosing as a person.
Dad's passing certainly figures into the equation. It took a lot out of me. It took out things that only now am I really beginning to recover from. But I think that I'm coming away from it stronger as a person, and I know that Dad would appreciate it.
For those of you who have asked if I'm ever going to do "serious" stuff again here: yes. Absolutely. I have every intention of doing so. But for now, I have to see where this goes. Where God is taking me. What He is making me into. I'm inside a chrysalis and I have no idea what it is that I'm supposed to be when I emerge from it. All I can do in the meantime is continue to grow and change and experience the delights of mere becoming.
More and more, the title I have in mind for my book is being more appropriate. Four words. Four syllables. But those four words are packed with meaning. And if (or "when" as my friends keep telling me) it is published, the final sentence is going to really slam home what manic-depression has done to my life. But that may not be all a bad thing. I'm still growing toward that as a person. Which is going to make that last sentence as much a thing of wonder for me as I hope it will be for you.
In the meantime, I keep writing. I keep evolving. I keep being shaped and molded according to His will and not my own. But I do think very much so that after seeing how far this goes, that I will come out of it a stronger person of the pen. And I'm looking forward to writing more of that kind of stuff for y'all.
Neil Blomkamp is making an Alien movie! And why this makes Chris very VERY happy...
YES!!!
Holy cow, this is a SERIOUS dream of mine come true! For literally decades I've been saying that there needs to be an entry in the Alien franchise that picks up after Aliens and totally ignores that Alien 3, Alien Resurrection etc. ever happened.
And now it's actually happening!!
It began two months ago when Neil Blomkamp (director of District 9 and the upcoming Chappie) twittered some concept art he had quietly been commissioning for his vision of what an Alien movie should look like. An Alien movie where Ripley and Hicks made it back and thus totally repudiating Alien 3.
Here's some of what Blomkamp had in mind:
Needless to say, the response those pics engendered was one of frenetic approval. Throughout social media and across reams of websites the message to Fox was clear: "we demand that Neil Blomkamp make a proper Alien movie!"
And it's really happening. Blomkamp twittered today that his next project is officially going to be the Alien saga.
Blomkamp is the person to do it too. At long last, we are going to see Ripley and Hicks going on another bug hunt. We can forget that Alien 3 ever happened. Blomkamp has indicated that he can begin work on this, for all intents and purposes, immediately. I can hypothesize that this means he can have Alienwhatever ready for summer 2016.
Think I'll celebrate tonight by popping in my Blu-ray of Aliens...
Holy cow, this is a SERIOUS dream of mine come true! For literally decades I've been saying that there needs to be an entry in the Alien franchise that picks up after Aliens and totally ignores that Alien 3, Alien Resurrection etc. ever happened.
And now it's actually happening!!
It began two months ago when Neil Blomkamp (director of District 9 and the upcoming Chappie) twittered some concept art he had quietly been commissioning for his vision of what an Alien movie should look like. An Alien movie where Ripley and Hicks made it back and thus totally repudiating Alien 3.
Here's some of what Blomkamp had in mind:
Needless to say, the response those pics engendered was one of frenetic approval. Throughout social media and across reams of websites the message to Fox was clear: "we demand that Neil Blomkamp make a proper Alien movie!"
And it's really happening. Blomkamp twittered today that his next project is officially going to be the Alien saga.
Blomkamp is the person to do it too. At long last, we are going to see Ripley and Hicks going on another bug hunt. We can forget that Alien 3 ever happened. Blomkamp has indicated that he can begin work on this, for all intents and purposes, immediately. I can hypothesize that this means he can have Alienwhatever ready for summer 2016.
Think I'll celebrate tonight by popping in my Blu-ray of Aliens...
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Praise from a peculiarly-placed demographic
So, I've never watched AMC's series Breaking Bad.
Okay, I take that back. I've watched half of one episode, and it looked pretty good. Made me want to see more of it. Everyone who I've mentioned to has raved about this show. Has told me "Chris what the %&@$ is wrong with you, this is the best series ever!!" or words to that effect.
Someday, sooner than later (it'll have to wait until at least after the book is finished) I plan to watch Breaking Bad from start to finish, and find out what all the commotion is about.
In the meantime...
Last week was the premiere of the spinoff series Better Call Saul. There've been three episodes thus far.
And without knowing anything else about this particular fictional universe, other than Saul Goodman (Bob Odenkirk's character) is a shyster lawyer, I have to say... that I am hooked.
If Better Call Saul is this good already, then I can barely imagine how good Breaking Bad must be.
I'll give Better Call Saul a pretty strong recommendation. Not my highest, because it's still too early. But I'm very optimistic that this series is going to go far and be consistently strong for the whole ride through.
Okay, I take that back. I've watched half of one episode, and it looked pretty good. Made me want to see more of it. Everyone who I've mentioned to has raved about this show. Has told me "Chris what the %&@$ is wrong with you, this is the best series ever!!" or words to that effect.
Someday, sooner than later (it'll have to wait until at least after the book is finished) I plan to watch Breaking Bad from start to finish, and find out what all the commotion is about.
In the meantime...
Last week was the premiere of the spinoff series Better Call Saul. There've been three episodes thus far.
And without knowing anything else about this particular fictional universe, other than Saul Goodman (Bob Odenkirk's character) is a shyster lawyer, I have to say... that I am hooked.
If Better Call Saul is this good already, then I can barely imagine how good Breaking Bad must be.
I'll give Better Call Saul a pretty strong recommendation. Not my highest, because it's still too early. But I'm very optimistic that this series is going to go far and be consistently strong for the whole ride through.
Friday, February 13, 2015
Classic SESAME STREET: "Ladybugs' Picnic"
It's been some time since I posted any classic Sesame Street material. Need to get better about that.
Well anyway, here from 1971 or so it's the very timeless "Ladybugs' Picnic"!
Few items of interest about this clip. Firstly, that's legendary muppeteer Jerry Nelson singing, with fellow muppet operator Richard Hunt playing the kazoo.
And it's also worth noting that this was animated by Bud Luckey, who is currently an animator at Pixar. Just think: this cartoon is from a guy who went on to work on stuff like Toy Story, WALL-E and a bunch of other Disney/Pixar movies.
This song was always memorable to me for some reason. At one point it was seriously stuck in my head. So now I'm showing it to you guys so that you can share my, errr... enjoyment :-)
Well anyway, here from 1971 or so it's the very timeless "Ladybugs' Picnic"!
Few items of interest about this clip. Firstly, that's legendary muppeteer Jerry Nelson singing, with fellow muppet operator Richard Hunt playing the kazoo.
And it's also worth noting that this was animated by Bud Luckey, who is currently an animator at Pixar. Just think: this cartoon is from a guy who went on to work on stuff like Toy Story, WALL-E and a bunch of other Disney/Pixar movies.
This song was always memorable to me for some reason. At one point it was seriously stuck in my head. So now I'm showing it to you guys so that you can share my, errr... enjoyment :-)
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Another chapter completed
Late last night I finished another chapter for my book about having mental illness and specifically bipolar disorder. So depending on how you figure it, that's three chapters I've done in the past few weeks. Three chapters done since I picked up the project again in the wake of Dad's death.
In all honesty, I never expected to have come this far along, so fast. I don't know if I could have before now. Maybe I had to go through some things before I could arrive at the place where I am now. Dad's death... well, it changed me in some ways. Most of all it renewed my faith in God, that His timing is perfect though we often can't see that. That aspect has made me realize anew that everything that I've gone through, everything that has happened, has had some purpose. It hasn't been for naught. What that purpose is, I don't know... but it's there.
I am writing the book in part because this is what I'm supposed to be doing at this point in my life, looking back on all the other points that were leading to this precise place. I want to believe that I am poised exactly where God has been moving me to be for all of this time, despite how dire the circumstance may have been.
I could not write what I am now, were it not for those things happening.
I like to think that that belief in God will be reflected in the book, regardless of how it will come across to many people.
Let me be clear, in no uncertain terms: this is a harsh, harsh book. The chapter that was finished last night is the longest so far. You'll know it if this is published. It's manic. Very manic. We're talking rapid-fire machine gun of barely-controlled thrill ride framed by what remains one of the very worst mistakes of my life.
But now, at last, I have come to the edge of a very, very dark place and I am so not kidding: in all of my long career as a published writer, what I'm about to do next is the most frightening thing that I have ever attempted.
This is the abyss, and I'm about to plunge into it. Worse, I'm asking readers to come along with me and look into the darkest heart of mental illness. There are things in there that will disgust many, if not most. I am not going to be looked at the same way again. I may lose friendships. I may lose opportunities
Tonight the notion struck me that I couldn't be doing this if it weren't for God bringing me to this place. If this had been just me, I could not be writing at all. We are told that in our weakness, He is magnified. If what I am doing in this book gives God the honor and the glory, then what I'm about to do will be a small sacrifice. One that I won't mind in the long run.
But right now, I'm scared. Really, really scared.
I hope you people have a strong stomach.
In all honesty, I never expected to have come this far along, so fast. I don't know if I could have before now. Maybe I had to go through some things before I could arrive at the place where I am now. Dad's death... well, it changed me in some ways. Most of all it renewed my faith in God, that His timing is perfect though we often can't see that. That aspect has made me realize anew that everything that I've gone through, everything that has happened, has had some purpose. It hasn't been for naught. What that purpose is, I don't know... but it's there.
I am writing the book in part because this is what I'm supposed to be doing at this point in my life, looking back on all the other points that were leading to this precise place. I want to believe that I am poised exactly where God has been moving me to be for all of this time, despite how dire the circumstance may have been.
I could not write what I am now, were it not for those things happening.
I like to think that that belief in God will be reflected in the book, regardless of how it will come across to many people.
Let me be clear, in no uncertain terms: this is a harsh, harsh book. The chapter that was finished last night is the longest so far. You'll know it if this is published. It's manic. Very manic. We're talking rapid-fire machine gun of barely-controlled thrill ride framed by what remains one of the very worst mistakes of my life.
But now, at last, I have come to the edge of a very, very dark place and I am so not kidding: in all of my long career as a published writer, what I'm about to do next is the most frightening thing that I have ever attempted.
This is the abyss, and I'm about to plunge into it. Worse, I'm asking readers to come along with me and look into the darkest heart of mental illness. There are things in there that will disgust many, if not most. I am not going to be looked at the same way again. I may lose friendships. I may lose opportunities
Tonight the notion struck me that I couldn't be doing this if it weren't for God bringing me to this place. If this had been just me, I could not be writing at all. We are told that in our weakness, He is magnified. If what I am doing in this book gives God the honor and the glory, then what I'm about to do will be a small sacrifice. One that I won't mind in the long run.
But right now, I'm scared. Really, really scared.
I hope you people have a strong stomach.
Sunday, February 08, 2015
This is one of the best campaign ads you will ever see
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has come out with a commercial for his campaign (and the Likud party) and... well, it's pretty gosh-darn brilliant no matter who you are! A couple expects a babysitter and instead they get a "Bibi-sitter". Check it out:
I understand that there is some play-on-words here that will probably go unnoticed by most English-only speakers. F'rinstance, when they mention "carpets" that's also Israeli terminology for "territories".
I've a tremendous amount of respect and admiration for Mr. Netanyahu. A tremendous amount. But I never thought that he'd be making a commercial like this. Seeing him let his hair down with such a clever ad seems perfect somehow.
I understand that there is some play-on-words here that will probably go unnoticed by most English-only speakers. F'rinstance, when they mention "carpets" that's also Israeli terminology for "territories".
I've a tremendous amount of respect and admiration for Mr. Netanyahu. A tremendous amount. But I never thought that he'd be making a commercial like this. Seeing him let his hair down with such a clever ad seems perfect somehow.
Friday, February 06, 2015
Book status (maybe this should be a weekly thing?)
I think... I think... that Chapter 23 is in a form which I can be content with.
I refuse to say "comfortable with". There is nothing comforting about this chapter. This has been difficult to write because it is becoming very painful to write about some things. Indeed, at the moment I'm trying to take steps to help more accurately convey what was happening at that point in my life.
Chapter 23 has been rough, to put it mildly.
The next few are going to be the harshest of the book by far.
The thought of revealing the original title has been floating around. The more I think about it the more I find myself of the notion that it was a great title at the time. That it may have been the best that I could have come up with, that it was the title that got me through that stretch of the journey. But now it sounds like crap. And I'm kicking myself for using that title to try to sell the book for some of the past several months.
No, that wasn't a good title.
The new one is better. Much, much better.
And though it didn't originally, there is now a subtitle and I like it a lot. The few who I've shared it with also think it rocks. I'll give a hint: Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist. Read that and you may find something of the direction the whole book is heading into.
I refuse to say "comfortable with". There is nothing comforting about this chapter. This has been difficult to write because it is becoming very painful to write about some things. Indeed, at the moment I'm trying to take steps to help more accurately convey what was happening at that point in my life.
Chapter 23 has been rough, to put it mildly.
The next few are going to be the harshest of the book by far.
The thought of revealing the original title has been floating around. The more I think about it the more I find myself of the notion that it was a great title at the time. That it may have been the best that I could have come up with, that it was the title that got me through that stretch of the journey. But now it sounds like crap. And I'm kicking myself for using that title to try to sell the book for some of the past several months.
No, that wasn't a good title.
The new one is better. Much, much better.
And though it didn't originally, there is now a subtitle and I like it a lot. The few who I've shared it with also think it rocks. I'll give a hint: Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist. Read that and you may find something of the direction the whole book is heading into.
Thursday, February 05, 2015
Official Doctor Who LEGO sets are coming!
We will soon have a TARDIS officially rendered in LEGO...
That pic is just the proof of concept from two guys who submitted their design through the LEGO Ideas page and have had it approved. The actual sets will probably look somewhat different. But even so... we're getting BBC-approved Doctor Who LEGO sets y'all!!
Nerd Approved has a lot more about this awesome news.
I wonder if the little Weeping Angels minifig moves when you're not looking at it...
"Everything is Awesome!"
That pic is just the proof of concept from two guys who submitted their design through the LEGO Ideas page and have had it approved. The actual sets will probably look somewhat different. But even so... we're getting BBC-approved Doctor Who LEGO sets y'all!!
Nerd Approved has a lot more about this awesome news.
I wonder if the little Weeping Angels minifig moves when you're not looking at it...
"Everything is Awesome!"
Sunday, February 01, 2015
Look at what I just found!
It's The Weird Spinning Head of Chris Knight!
That's from 1998. It was on my personal websites for a long time. "Weird" Ed helped me make it: he snapped the photos with a film camera while I sat in his office chair and rotated around to get the various angles. Then after getting the pics developed I scanned 'em and then put them together with GIF Construction Set.
sigh... Those were the days.
Have spent most of the day working on my book. Chapter 23 took several huge steps forward this evening. I wound up taking a break and came across that GIF. Was bored and figured I'd post it for a few cheap laughs :-P
That's from 1998. It was on my personal websites for a long time. "Weird" Ed helped me make it: he snapped the photos with a film camera while I sat in his office chair and rotated around to get the various angles. Then after getting the pics developed I scanned 'em and then put them together with GIF Construction Set.
sigh... Those were the days.
Have spent most of the day working on my book. Chapter 23 took several huge steps forward this evening. I wound up taking a break and came across that GIF. Was bored and figured I'd post it for a few cheap laughs :-P
Thursday, January 29, 2015
500 words into Chapter 23
I
am writing about the night that I stormed out the door of our apartment
without telling my wife where I was going, because not even I knew
where I was going. And how I wound up in Raleigh at my best friend's
door at 10 at night. God only knows how I made it to the highway
without crashing the car at the high speed I was going at.
This is the part of bipolar disorder that I hate the most. Asking God why He let me have something like this when it destroyed my capacity to think clearly or to have empathy to others. When I know that's not the way I really am at all.
Hating the things that I've done to others, mental illness or not.
500 words into Chapter 23. I started it yesterday afternoon.
This is going to take awhile.
This is the part of bipolar disorder that I hate the most. Asking God why He let me have something like this when it destroyed my capacity to think clearly or to have empathy to others. When I know that's not the way I really am at all.
Hating the things that I've done to others, mental illness or not.
500 words into Chapter 23. I started it yesterday afternoon.
This is going to take awhile.
Son of ex-slave and Union soldier passes away (you read that right)
It's stuff like this that never ceases to fascinate me. These things impress upon us that so much of our history... isn't that long ago after all.
Luke Martin, Jr. passed away a few days ago in Raleigh (that's the capital of North Carolina for those who might not know that). Mr. Martin was 97.
He died 179 years after his father was born. His father, by the way, was a former slave who escaped to freedom and then fought in the Civil War as a soldier in the Union army.
Fox News has more about the life of Luke Martin, Jr. and his father.
It wasn't all that uncommon for soldiers on both sides of the conflict to, long years later, marry much younger women. A lot of it was because of the considerable pensions that soldiers received. But the general consensus is that there was never a lack of true love in such relationships. Many of which produced offspring such as Mr. Martin.
He died the other day and he was one generation removed from the greatest and most trying war in American history. A war that ended 150 years ago this year.
Think about that.
Historian though I be, it honestly astounds me that we could have that kind of connection to the past in our own day and age.
I'm reminded of something else in this kind of vein: Samuel Seymour, who at age 96 appeared on television (along such notables at the time as Lucille Ball) in 1956 to describe how he witnessed John Wilkes Booth assassinate Abraham Lincoln...
Gotta appreciate the pronounced presence of Winston cigarettes and the can of Prince Albert pipe tobacco in that segment, aye? That's something nobody could get away with on television today.
It's been suggested that some people living today, perhaps even born in the 1960s, could live to ages approaching 200 years old. Can you imagine someone old enough (like myself) telling his great-great-great-great grandchildren about watching on television the destruction of the Challenger (which was 29 years ago yesterday)?
I suppose that anything is possible.
Luke Martin, Jr. passed away a few days ago in Raleigh (that's the capital of North Carolina for those who might not know that). Mr. Martin was 97.
He died 179 years after his father was born. His father, by the way, was a former slave who escaped to freedom and then fought in the Civil War as a soldier in the Union army.
Fox News has more about the life of Luke Martin, Jr. and his father.
It wasn't all that uncommon for soldiers on both sides of the conflict to, long years later, marry much younger women. A lot of it was because of the considerable pensions that soldiers received. But the general consensus is that there was never a lack of true love in such relationships. Many of which produced offspring such as Mr. Martin.
He died the other day and he was one generation removed from the greatest and most trying war in American history. A war that ended 150 years ago this year.
Think about that.
Historian though I be, it honestly astounds me that we could have that kind of connection to the past in our own day and age.
I'm reminded of something else in this kind of vein: Samuel Seymour, who at age 96 appeared on television (along such notables at the time as Lucille Ball) in 1956 to describe how he witnessed John Wilkes Booth assassinate Abraham Lincoln...
Gotta appreciate the pronounced presence of Winston cigarettes and the can of Prince Albert pipe tobacco in that segment, aye? That's something nobody could get away with on television today.
It's been suggested that some people living today, perhaps even born in the 1960s, could live to ages approaching 200 years old. Can you imagine someone old enough (like myself) telling his great-great-great-great grandchildren about watching on television the destruction of the Challenger (which was 29 years ago yesterday)?
I suppose that anything is possible.
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Newly-discovered planet has rings TWO HUNDRED TIMES BIGGER than those of Saturn
I won't apologize for the all-caps there. I mean, we are talking about something of monstrous proportions here...
Four hundred-some light years away is the recently-discovered exoplanet J1407b. Its parent star kept blinking in and out of view. Astro-boffins went to work on the case, doing analysis of light patterns and spectroscopy and all kinds of stuff like that.
What they found is that J1407b, a young planet with about 40-50 Jupiter masses, boasts a massive, MASSIVE ring system. One that is more than 200 times larger than the one Saturn has.
Here's what it might look like...
See that teeny dot? That's meant to be J1407b. Mind you, this is a planet already with 40 times more mass than Jupiter. See those rings? They're spread out over 120 million kilometers of diameter's worth of disk.
If J1407b was located where Saturn is in our solar system, not only would the ring system be very easily visible from the Earth, it would be significantly larger than the full Moon.
And yet, it's been calculated that this system of rings is made up of about the same amount of material as the Earth has. Which is comparably small in the cosmic scheme of things.
Just when you think you can't imagine anything else, here is something confirming that, yes... there are things that we could not have imagined out there.
Mash here for more about J1407b, how it was discovered and all that jazz.
Four hundred-some light years away is the recently-discovered exoplanet J1407b. Its parent star kept blinking in and out of view. Astro-boffins went to work on the case, doing analysis of light patterns and spectroscopy and all kinds of stuff like that.
What they found is that J1407b, a young planet with about 40-50 Jupiter masses, boasts a massive, MASSIVE ring system. One that is more than 200 times larger than the one Saturn has.
Here's what it might look like...
See that teeny dot? That's meant to be J1407b. Mind you, this is a planet already with 40 times more mass than Jupiter. See those rings? They're spread out over 120 million kilometers of diameter's worth of disk.
If J1407b was located where Saturn is in our solar system, not only would the ring system be very easily visible from the Earth, it would be significantly larger than the full Moon.
And yet, it's been calculated that this system of rings is made up of about the same amount of material as the Earth has. Which is comparably small in the cosmic scheme of things.
Just when you think you can't imagine anything else, here is something confirming that, yes... there are things that we could not have imagined out there.
Mash here for more about J1407b, how it was discovered and all that jazz.
Monday, January 19, 2015
I finally beat Zaxxon!
You might have heard about the Internet Arcade that Internet Archive fired up a few months ago. All of those arcade games that we (or at least some of us) used to feed quarters into? Well, almost 700 of them - as in the originals, not home console ports - are available to play for free in your web browser! Which is a great thing because these games are a considerable part of computer technology history and Internet Archive is preserving them for posterity.
Well anyhoo, last week I visited Internet Arcade for the first time. And something occurred to me: that maybe I could see if Zaxxon was in the collection.
Bit of info: Zaxxon was a game that Sega came out with in the early Eighties, and it's arguably the first video game to attempt a 3-D feel for the player. As you fly your fighter jet/spaceship/thingy you can adjust the altitude, which you're gonna have to do because otherwise you'll smash into walls, energy barriers, homing missiles and the like. The object of the game was to fly across one big space fortress loaded with obstacles, then a segment in space as you take on enemy planes, and then another fortress. At the end of which is a robot that you have to destroy before it destroys you.
That is Zaxxon. And I had been trying to take out that @%#$ robot since 1983. Except that I haven't even been able to approach the droid, much less shoot his missile-arm to make him self-destruct.
Well, Zaxxon wasn't very hard to find at all. After going through the instructions on how to play through the emulator, and a few mis-steps that required restarting the game, I was finally off again. It's been at least fifteen years since I've found a Zaxxon machine to play on, so I was a little rusty...
...but on my third try, I got through to the robot. For the first time in my life I got to see it after getting to it with my own efforts.
He destroyed me. I played through again. Still got to him, this time he retreated off the screen.
It was on my fourth trip through the fortresses that I blew up the missile before he could fire it.
It had taken more than 31 years but at long last, I beat Zaxxon.
The game re-started after that, with more difficult fortresses to fly through. More aggressive obstacles like rockets and turrets aiming at me. But by that point, I didn't care. I had destroyed the robot and that's all that mattered.
(There was a sequel, Super Zaxxon, that was much more difficult and had the robot replaced with a dragon. I never found that game anywhere, much less played it. The original classic is more than enough.)
Maybe this is a sign or an omen. You remember how Mister Miyagi told Daniel in The Karate Kid that a man who can catch flies with chopsticks can do anything? Well, that's what Zaxxon has been to me: a fly that I've been doing my darndest to snatch out of the air for more than three decades. And now I've done it. Perhaps it's an indicator of things to come.
Or perhaps it just means that I've been sadly obsessed with a video game for all this time...
Well anyhoo, last week I visited Internet Arcade for the first time. And something occurred to me: that maybe I could see if Zaxxon was in the collection.
Bit of info: Zaxxon was a game that Sega came out with in the early Eighties, and it's arguably the first video game to attempt a 3-D feel for the player. As you fly your fighter jet/spaceship/thingy you can adjust the altitude, which you're gonna have to do because otherwise you'll smash into walls, energy barriers, homing missiles and the like. The object of the game was to fly across one big space fortress loaded with obstacles, then a segment in space as you take on enemy planes, and then another fortress. At the end of which is a robot that you have to destroy before it destroys you.
 |
| This is what Chris has been obsessed with for more than thirty years. The boy needs to get outside more. |
Well, Zaxxon wasn't very hard to find at all. After going through the instructions on how to play through the emulator, and a few mis-steps that required restarting the game, I was finally off again. It's been at least fifteen years since I've found a Zaxxon machine to play on, so I was a little rusty...
...but on my third try, I got through to the robot. For the first time in my life I got to see it after getting to it with my own efforts.
He destroyed me. I played through again. Still got to him, this time he retreated off the screen.
It was on my fourth trip through the fortresses that I blew up the missile before he could fire it.
It had taken more than 31 years but at long last, I beat Zaxxon.
The game re-started after that, with more difficult fortresses to fly through. More aggressive obstacles like rockets and turrets aiming at me. But by that point, I didn't care. I had destroyed the robot and that's all that mattered.
(There was a sequel, Super Zaxxon, that was much more difficult and had the robot replaced with a dragon. I never found that game anywhere, much less played it. The original classic is more than enough.)
Maybe this is a sign or an omen. You remember how Mister Miyagi told Daniel in The Karate Kid that a man who can catch flies with chopsticks can do anything? Well, that's what Zaxxon has been to me: a fly that I've been doing my darndest to snatch out of the air for more than three decades. And now I've done it. Perhaps it's an indicator of things to come.
Or perhaps it just means that I've been sadly obsessed with a video game for all this time...
Book update for mid-January
I think I'm getting back into the full swing of writing my book, at last.
I've completely re-written Chapter 1. And I seriously hope that I'm not just seeing things but the more I read over it and how it flows into the rest of the manuscript, the better and better it's looking. It sets up a much better tone for the book that follows. It's more gripping. It's more "me" than the original version was. And that is what this project is about, isn't it? Reaching deep down and translating my heart and soul and mind onto the printed page. Being true to myself. Sometimes that is going to hurt. But there is also going to be a lot of humor too.
So the new first chapter is something I'm really stoked about more than I had become about the original.
The prologue has been somewhat re-written, but not drastically so. I'm also looking for quotations to begin each chapter. That... has proven to be a challenge. With 21 chapters thus far however and only two of them lacking quotes, I've made progress but I'm also on the lookout for better ones. Last night I did come across a quote that's perfect: it's a line from the classic novel A Canticle for Leibowitz. Which is neat because that's one of my all-time favorite works of science-fiction.
Despite the lack of work on the narrative manuscript, I have still been writing the "interludes" as events pertaining to my manic-depression have warranted. Last weekend was one such situation. The interlude which resulted from it, if I'm allowed to keep it in the book, will probably disgust some people. For what it's worth, it disgusted me. This is a psychiatric illness, and it's not going to be pleasant no matter how much I might try to paint over it. One of the reasons why I'm doing this book is so that it might evoke understanding about mental illness. There are things which are extraordinarily rare in being discussed, and I'm going to delve into those. Anyway, just going to let y'all know that there will be some harsh material in this, if it gets published.
I'm feeling better now. The past two and a half months have been an experience which I would not wish on anybody. There is still pain, still grief. This weekend it was like I felt Dad's presence, encouraging me to continue with the book just as he cheered me on to begin it. I'm not rushing into this: so many friends have discouraged me from charging headlong into writing it again. I'm just letting things proceed as they should. But it really does feel great to be back behind the keyboard again and writing something, for my book.
Last night I wrote two sentences for Chapter 22. So it's off and running. I'll try to write more today...
I've completely re-written Chapter 1. And I seriously hope that I'm not just seeing things but the more I read over it and how it flows into the rest of the manuscript, the better and better it's looking. It sets up a much better tone for the book that follows. It's more gripping. It's more "me" than the original version was. And that is what this project is about, isn't it? Reaching deep down and translating my heart and soul and mind onto the printed page. Being true to myself. Sometimes that is going to hurt. But there is also going to be a lot of humor too.
So the new first chapter is something I'm really stoked about more than I had become about the original.
The prologue has been somewhat re-written, but not drastically so. I'm also looking for quotations to begin each chapter. That... has proven to be a challenge. With 21 chapters thus far however and only two of them lacking quotes, I've made progress but I'm also on the lookout for better ones. Last night I did come across a quote that's perfect: it's a line from the classic novel A Canticle for Leibowitz. Which is neat because that's one of my all-time favorite works of science-fiction.
Despite the lack of work on the narrative manuscript, I have still been writing the "interludes" as events pertaining to my manic-depression have warranted. Last weekend was one such situation. The interlude which resulted from it, if I'm allowed to keep it in the book, will probably disgust some people. For what it's worth, it disgusted me. This is a psychiatric illness, and it's not going to be pleasant no matter how much I might try to paint over it. One of the reasons why I'm doing this book is so that it might evoke understanding about mental illness. There are things which are extraordinarily rare in being discussed, and I'm going to delve into those. Anyway, just going to let y'all know that there will be some harsh material in this, if it gets published.
I'm feeling better now. The past two and a half months have been an experience which I would not wish on anybody. There is still pain, still grief. This weekend it was like I felt Dad's presence, encouraging me to continue with the book just as he cheered me on to begin it. I'm not rushing into this: so many friends have discouraged me from charging headlong into writing it again. I'm just letting things proceed as they should. But it really does feel great to be back behind the keyboard again and writing something, for my book.
Last night I wrote two sentences for Chapter 22. So it's off and running. I'll try to write more today...
Tuesday, January 06, 2015
Reidsville's $30,000 monument to madness
So my hometown of Reidsville, North Carolina has decided to ultimately remove a nationally-recognized statue with more than a hundred years of history, and let it instead be replaced with a horror straight out of H.P. Lovecraft...
Brief recap: almost four years ago the Confederate monument in downtown Reidsville was toppled and smashed by an errant driver. The statue of the Confederate soldier atop the monument fell and broke into pieces. The damage wasn't irreversible however, and it was determined that the statue and the monument could be repaired and restored to normal.
That's how things should have worked in a sane world.
But formerdictator mayor James Festerman would have none of that. On his own, Festerman decreed that the monument would never go back up. That, despite a huge outpouring of support from the community for the Confederate statue to be repaired and returned to its rightful place. Hizzoner Festerman declared that the monument was "controversial", nevermind that it had occupied the location sine 1910 and there had been no opposition to it in all of that time. Festerman was just pulling that out of his [REDACTED].
So the "leadership" of the City of Reidsville had its way, and though the Confederate monument was eventually repaired it was relocated to a nearby cemetery. In its place at the roundabout on Scales Street the city installed a wretchedly ugly planter and then for the past two years or so it's been a Christmas tree.
And now in place of the Confederate monument, the City of Reidsville has decided it will erect the eldritch abomination that you see above. Allegedly a water fountain, the creator of which has titled it "The Bud".
More often than not it's being called "The Thing". Local writers are describing it as something out of the Alien movie franchise (it definitely has that open-egg look going for it). Or like a prop from a Clive Barker "Hellraiser" film. I can't print what one person told me it looked like (it's that obscene). I should recite incantations around it when it goes up and try to summon Cthulhu with it.
Incidentally, this "work of art" which looks like third-rate H.R. Giger is going to cost at least $30,000.
Generations to come should remember it as "Festerman's Fountain": a monument to the most indolent, apathetic, indifferent and tyrannical city government in Reidsville history (and that's saying something).
Seriously: twenty years from now people will be looking at that eyesore and wondering "what the #&@$ were they thinking?!"
 |
| "We'll tear your soul apart!" |
 |
| Reidsville's Confederate Monument at it's original location |
That's how things should have worked in a sane world.
But former
So the "leadership" of the City of Reidsville had its way, and though the Confederate monument was eventually repaired it was relocated to a nearby cemetery. In its place at the roundabout on Scales Street the city installed a wretchedly ugly planter and then for the past two years or so it's been a Christmas tree.
And now in place of the Confederate monument, the City of Reidsville has decided it will erect the eldritch abomination that you see above. Allegedly a water fountain, the creator of which has titled it "The Bud".
More often than not it's being called "The Thing". Local writers are describing it as something out of the Alien movie franchise (it definitely has that open-egg look going for it). Or like a prop from a Clive Barker "Hellraiser" film. I can't print what one person told me it looked like (it's that obscene). I should recite incantations around it when it goes up and try to summon Cthulhu with it.
Incidentally, this "work of art" which looks like third-rate H.R. Giger is going to cost at least $30,000.
Generations to come should remember it as "Festerman's Fountain": a monument to the most indolent, apathetic, indifferent and tyrannical city government in Reidsville history (and that's saying something).
Seriously: twenty years from now people will be looking at that eyesore and wondering "what the #&@$ were they thinking?!"
Monday, January 05, 2015
Watch it now: the legendary CNN "end of the world" video
One of the things I've always wanted to do with this blog is post interesting stuff. Or at least those things that are intriguing to me. Admittedly, that has slacked off a lot in the past several months. Between writing my book (a project that devoured most of 2014) and then Dad's passing a month and a half ago, this hasn't been the best of times to even look for neat/odd material, much less post about it. Maybe I can do better about that in the coming year.
And fortunately good friend Scott Kelly has come to the rescue with something to kick it off with:
And fortunately good friend Scott Kelly has come to the rescue with something to kick it off with:
 |
| Cue James Earl Jones voiceover: "THIS... was CNN." |
I first heard weird stories about "the CNN doomsday tape" around the time of the Gulf War in 1991. Allegedly, CNN founder Ted Turner has made a video that would be the very last thing that his cable news network would broadcast before the end of the world engulfed all of mankind in hellfire, brimstone, plague or zombie apocalypse. The plan was that when the very last CNN employee was left alive in the building, the "play" button would be hit and this would be the final thing that whatever viewers were left would witness on CNN.
Turns out it's not so much a legend. And CNN employees have known about it for years. However, this is the first time that the video itself has found its way into public purview.
Jalopnik has a great write-up about Ted Turner's end-times CNN tape, which is still within the network's video archive listed as "TURNER DOOMSDAY VIDEO" under strictest orders that it not be broadcast "till end of the world confirmed". Included in the article is the video itself: of a military band playing "Nearer My God To Thee".
In a really odd way it reminds me of the night of 9/11. My best friend was working in the CNN Building in Atlanta at the time, and all evening we were talking back and forth on AOL Instant Messenger. It was really something to be hearing directly from the bowels of what was almost certainly the most-watched news network in the world at that moment. I've still got the log of that IM session somewhere.
I once heard that Orson Welles had recorded a radio broadcast meant for the end of the world. But I haven't been able to find anything about that. Perhaps some reader of this blog will be able to enlighten me more about that.
Anyway, it's a good article. Well worth reading if you're into matters of technological history. Which is curious in this matter in that the video is still in 4:3 aspect ratio at standard definition, so if you don't have a high-def set you can still watch CNN cover Armageddon.
EDIT 6:47 p.m. EST: I've watched this video a few more times and the more I think about it, the less funny it seems.
Consider: this tape was made in 1981. Kids today don't realize how SCARY things were back then, at the height of the Cold War and the fear that any moment there would be nuclear war between the U.S. and the Soviets. 1983 seems especially vivid: when the Russians shot down the South Korean airliner and then not long after when the TV movie The Day After aired. The policy of mutually-assured destruction meant that both sides understood that an attack by one superpower would mean the destruction of each nation and with that it would almost certainly be the end of all civilization, everywhere.
We lived. We laughed. We had babies. But above it all there was a lingering fear that somehow or another, The Button would be pressed by one side or the other and the biblical end times would be upon us just like that. I was at a Christian school at the time and with few exceptions there was an air of paranoia among the faculty: as if it had to be drilled into our heads that Russia was the tool of Satan eagerly waiting to unleash an unholy salvo against America so we'd better "get right" with God before it was too late.
That was years before I came to understand that we enter into a relationship with God because we want to, not because we are forced into it by others. But I digress...
So yeah: we went about our lives. All the while knowing that nuclear war could erupt and that would be the end of everything.
Bearing that in mind, I could easily envision a scenario where before the bombs hit, a CNN employee might actually get confirmation that the nukes were inbound and that the network really was "signing off" for good.
So that said, this really is a fascinating and legitimate artifact of the 1980s.
EDIT 7:07 p.m. EST: Maybe I should do something like that for this blog. Like, have a YouTube video embedded in a post ready to be deployed for when the nukes fall or the undead overwhelm us all. Or at least a "final post" that friends will unload upon my demise. What do y'all think?
EDIT 6:47 p.m. EST: I've watched this video a few more times and the more I think about it, the less funny it seems.
Consider: this tape was made in 1981. Kids today don't realize how SCARY things were back then, at the height of the Cold War and the fear that any moment there would be nuclear war between the U.S. and the Soviets. 1983 seems especially vivid: when the Russians shot down the South Korean airliner and then not long after when the TV movie The Day After aired. The policy of mutually-assured destruction meant that both sides understood that an attack by one superpower would mean the destruction of each nation and with that it would almost certainly be the end of all civilization, everywhere.
We lived. We laughed. We had babies. But above it all there was a lingering fear that somehow or another, The Button would be pressed by one side or the other and the biblical end times would be upon us just like that. I was at a Christian school at the time and with few exceptions there was an air of paranoia among the faculty: as if it had to be drilled into our heads that Russia was the tool of Satan eagerly waiting to unleash an unholy salvo against America so we'd better "get right" with God before it was too late.
That was years before I came to understand that we enter into a relationship with God because we want to, not because we are forced into it by others. But I digress...
So yeah: we went about our lives. All the while knowing that nuclear war could erupt and that would be the end of everything.
Bearing that in mind, I could easily envision a scenario where before the bombs hit, a CNN employee might actually get confirmation that the nukes were inbound and that the network really was "signing off" for good.
So that said, this really is a fascinating and legitimate artifact of the 1980s.
EDIT 7:07 p.m. EST: Maybe I should do something like that for this blog. Like, have a YouTube video embedded in a post ready to be deployed for when the nukes fall or the undead overwhelm us all. Or at least a "final post" that friends will unload upon my demise. What do y'all think?
Friday, December 26, 2014
A joyful Christmas despite myself
Here I am, the day after Christmas 2014. And I'm only writing this because a lot of people were praying for me yesterday, that I might get through this holiday.
Grief is hard enough already. It's especially heartbreaking when it comes so close to the holiday season and you see that empty chair at the table. It's not something that I haven't experienced already. Mom passed away three days after Christmas three years ago, and because of that there was already a shadow cast over Christmas and New Year's. On my 26th birthday we buried my grandmother: something that I'm always reminded of on that day of the year.
This year has been more excruciating than anything I was prepared for. Because it's so fresh. Because it's only now sinking in that Dad is gone and is not coming back, no matter how many times I keep expecting him to come through that door every morning, or whenever I see his truck parked at home and find myself thinking that he's inside playing with our dog.
For the several days and maybe a week and a half before Christmas, I was doing pretty well. Our theatre guild was in the midst of its production of It's A Wonderful Life: The Musical and being around so many people - people who I have worked with before and people who I only now have had the pleasure of making friendships with - was a pick-me-up that I sorely needed more than I'd realized. And then the show ended this past Sunday and just like that the joy began leaving me.
Let me be more succinct: I knew what was coming and I did not want to have to go through it. But Christmas was coming, and I had to bear it. I'm not the only one going through this either: two very dear friends and their family are also going through this holiday season without their mother, a wonderful woman who passed away a month before Dad did.
Tuesday was hell. Christmas Eve I was assaulted with a lot of thoughts that I cried to God to please take away. Thoughts about Dad. Thoughts about being alone, not in the "no friendships" way. It has been my dream to be a husband and a father for so very long and only now have I been able to reach a state of mind that could let me have that... but I've missed a decade and a half of life because of mental illness and having that happiness seems further away than ever.
It has been a hard thing to be without Dad in other ways too, because he really was supporting me as I wrote my book. I lost a lot of dependable work this past spring because of an extended bout of severe depression - enough to keep me from writing a word for a major project - and I've been struggling ever since to make up for it. For now, let's just say that I'm scraping by. But in a very weird way, I'm thankful for where I am at the moment. It has re-taught me about the things that do matter most in life. I am realizing more than before that for all of my circumstance right now, that I am better off than a lot of people who suffer from mental illness. I may not be where I want to be, but God is providing for me and I'm not having to go hungry. It is teaching me to rely on God more than I ever have before, and I am thankful for that.
I had no idea that poverty could be so much fun!
(Okay, forget I said that. It's NOT exactly "poverty". A tremendous lack of previous resources perhaps, yes... but I'm eating and get to stay warm at night and have a roof over my head: something that too many people in this world can't get to say that they have.)
All of those regrets and more came upon me on Christmas Eve and I desperately wanted to flee them. I took my medication early that night and tried to go to sleep. It only lasted until 1 in the morning, at which point I took MORE medication and tried to let it work. By 8 it was clear that nothing had worked. Only breakfast at my aunt and uncle's place at 9 brought direly-welcomed respite from the sadness and despair. I got to have a little Christmas after all. In fact, it was a Christmas that will go down as one of the most memorable of my life.
Then I came home and took even more medicine and crawled into bed and curled up in the fetal position and waited for the day to end.
I don't know what made me wake up at 4 in the afternoon. Maybe it was Tammy - my dog - scratching at the door to go out for "relief". I took her out and when I came back the urge to talk to someone... to anyone... overwhelmed me.
I went on Facebook and asked people to please hold me up in prayer right then, because I was needing it. And then I spent the next three and a half hours on the phone talking to some especially close friends.
And after that, I came away feeling the most uplifted, encouraged and spiritually renewed than I have been since well before Dad died.
One friend, someone who is as close to me as a sister, told me something that I hadn't thought of: that Dad and Mom were having their first Christmas together in three years. And that Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus and that now Mom and Dad get to celebrate Christmas in the presence of Christ Himself. She also told me something else: that Heaven really is closer to us than we realize. We just can't see it with eyes on this earthly shore. But our loved ones are there, they really are. Which is funny, because a second friend shared that same thought with me just as many weeks ago.
During a conversation with another friend, he shared an essay with me, about grief during Christmas time, and a reminder that though we may grief, our grief is not that of this world. Still another friend reminded me that I am unbelievably blessed with friends and family... and friends who are close as any family can be. As Clarence Oddbody told George Bailey: a person with friends is far richer than anything that money can provide on this earth.
That's something too. I had found myself asking God to please show me that my life did have purpose and meaning, that despite how things have gone that I might have a wonderful life. I had secretly hoped for some direct message from Him. In the end God didn't send a "second class angel" at all. He sent people who are so very dear and precious to my heart, and in their own way they each helped to convey the precisely right message that I needed to hear.
Yesterday evening I ended up feeling joy and contentment and peace that I had not thought possible. I felt cheered-up enough to spent the rest of the night comforted by the peace of God, that surpasses all understanding.
I even felt cheered-up enough to do something that earlier in the day I did not have any interest in at all: watching this year's Doctor Who Christmas special. I'm glad that I did. "Last Christmas" was like John Carpenter's The Thing meets Inception meets Miracle on 34th Street with a little dash of Alien. Solid entertainment courtesy of the Doctor Who franchise. I needed that too.
I let the rest of the night go on as I let the feeling of Christmas joy wash over me, and linger past midnight. Then I went to bed, but not before thanking God for bringing me through the grief and letting me have joy on this holiday: joy that I hadn't ever expected and will remember for the rest of my life.
Let me put it this way: this Christmas was a Christmas of miracles for me. I couldn't have gotten through it without the prayers of a lot of amazing people. And I could not have come through it without God providing friendships and family who lifted me up exactly as I needed for them to do. There have been a lot of instances this past month and more that I have seen timing happen in ways that can only be described as perfect. Some of those involved loss. This time, it was timing that led to me gaining something. Something that aroused a greater faith in God than I had been prepared for. That it came just in time for Christmas was the proverbial cherry on top.
Dad would want me to have been happy this holiday, even without his presence at the breakfast table yesterday morning. He would want me to go on with my life, and to be happy and to keep finding happiness. My friends encouraged me to know that there is still plenty of time to have the happiness that I have dreamed of having for so long... and I believe them. One of these years, in the not too distant future, I hope that will be me sharing photos on Facebook of my children having Christmas morning. I long to see Christmas through their eyes, just as Dad saw it through those of my sister and I.
This, was a far better Christmas than I was ready to be blessed with. I don't think that would have been possible without some of the despair and depression that I went through on the way to it. Maybe that is God's timing too: that I might have a lot of sadness before I could appreciate the joy.
I like to believe so.
This was one of the best Christmases that I've ever had. I don't know how those in years to come will compare, but this Christmas is forever going to be part of me that I will take with me always.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go. There is a handsomely-endowed gift card for Barnes & Noble in my possession that is screaming to be put to good use this afternoon :-)
Grief is hard enough already. It's especially heartbreaking when it comes so close to the holiday season and you see that empty chair at the table. It's not something that I haven't experienced already. Mom passed away three days after Christmas three years ago, and because of that there was already a shadow cast over Christmas and New Year's. On my 26th birthday we buried my grandmother: something that I'm always reminded of on that day of the year.
This year has been more excruciating than anything I was prepared for. Because it's so fresh. Because it's only now sinking in that Dad is gone and is not coming back, no matter how many times I keep expecting him to come through that door every morning, or whenever I see his truck parked at home and find myself thinking that he's inside playing with our dog.
For the several days and maybe a week and a half before Christmas, I was doing pretty well. Our theatre guild was in the midst of its production of It's A Wonderful Life: The Musical and being around so many people - people who I have worked with before and people who I only now have had the pleasure of making friendships with - was a pick-me-up that I sorely needed more than I'd realized. And then the show ended this past Sunday and just like that the joy began leaving me.
Let me be more succinct: I knew what was coming and I did not want to have to go through it. But Christmas was coming, and I had to bear it. I'm not the only one going through this either: two very dear friends and their family are also going through this holiday season without their mother, a wonderful woman who passed away a month before Dad did.
Tuesday was hell. Christmas Eve I was assaulted with a lot of thoughts that I cried to God to please take away. Thoughts about Dad. Thoughts about being alone, not in the "no friendships" way. It has been my dream to be a husband and a father for so very long and only now have I been able to reach a state of mind that could let me have that... but I've missed a decade and a half of life because of mental illness and having that happiness seems further away than ever.
It has been a hard thing to be without Dad in other ways too, because he really was supporting me as I wrote my book. I lost a lot of dependable work this past spring because of an extended bout of severe depression - enough to keep me from writing a word for a major project - and I've been struggling ever since to make up for it. For now, let's just say that I'm scraping by. But in a very weird way, I'm thankful for where I am at the moment. It has re-taught me about the things that do matter most in life. I am realizing more than before that for all of my circumstance right now, that I am better off than a lot of people who suffer from mental illness. I may not be where I want to be, but God is providing for me and I'm not having to go hungry. It is teaching me to rely on God more than I ever have before, and I am thankful for that.
I had no idea that poverty could be so much fun!
(Okay, forget I said that. It's NOT exactly "poverty". A tremendous lack of previous resources perhaps, yes... but I'm eating and get to stay warm at night and have a roof over my head: something that too many people in this world can't get to say that they have.)
All of those regrets and more came upon me on Christmas Eve and I desperately wanted to flee them. I took my medication early that night and tried to go to sleep. It only lasted until 1 in the morning, at which point I took MORE medication and tried to let it work. By 8 it was clear that nothing had worked. Only breakfast at my aunt and uncle's place at 9 brought direly-welcomed respite from the sadness and despair. I got to have a little Christmas after all. In fact, it was a Christmas that will go down as one of the most memorable of my life.
Then I came home and took even more medicine and crawled into bed and curled up in the fetal position and waited for the day to end.
I don't know what made me wake up at 4 in the afternoon. Maybe it was Tammy - my dog - scratching at the door to go out for "relief". I took her out and when I came back the urge to talk to someone... to anyone... overwhelmed me.
I went on Facebook and asked people to please hold me up in prayer right then, because I was needing it. And then I spent the next three and a half hours on the phone talking to some especially close friends.
And after that, I came away feeling the most uplifted, encouraged and spiritually renewed than I have been since well before Dad died.
One friend, someone who is as close to me as a sister, told me something that I hadn't thought of: that Dad and Mom were having their first Christmas together in three years. And that Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus and that now Mom and Dad get to celebrate Christmas in the presence of Christ Himself. She also told me something else: that Heaven really is closer to us than we realize. We just can't see it with eyes on this earthly shore. But our loved ones are there, they really are. Which is funny, because a second friend shared that same thought with me just as many weeks ago.
During a conversation with another friend, he shared an essay with me, about grief during Christmas time, and a reminder that though we may grief, our grief is not that of this world. Still another friend reminded me that I am unbelievably blessed with friends and family... and friends who are close as any family can be. As Clarence Oddbody told George Bailey: a person with friends is far richer than anything that money can provide on this earth.
That's something too. I had found myself asking God to please show me that my life did have purpose and meaning, that despite how things have gone that I might have a wonderful life. I had secretly hoped for some direct message from Him. In the end God didn't send a "second class angel" at all. He sent people who are so very dear and precious to my heart, and in their own way they each helped to convey the precisely right message that I needed to hear.
Yesterday evening I ended up feeling joy and contentment and peace that I had not thought possible. I felt cheered-up enough to spent the rest of the night comforted by the peace of God, that surpasses all understanding.
I even felt cheered-up enough to do something that earlier in the day I did not have any interest in at all: watching this year's Doctor Who Christmas special. I'm glad that I did. "Last Christmas" was like John Carpenter's The Thing meets Inception meets Miracle on 34th Street with a little dash of Alien. Solid entertainment courtesy of the Doctor Who franchise. I needed that too.
I let the rest of the night go on as I let the feeling of Christmas joy wash over me, and linger past midnight. Then I went to bed, but not before thanking God for bringing me through the grief and letting me have joy on this holiday: joy that I hadn't ever expected and will remember for the rest of my life.
Let me put it this way: this Christmas was a Christmas of miracles for me. I couldn't have gotten through it without the prayers of a lot of amazing people. And I could not have come through it without God providing friendships and family who lifted me up exactly as I needed for them to do. There have been a lot of instances this past month and more that I have seen timing happen in ways that can only be described as perfect. Some of those involved loss. This time, it was timing that led to me gaining something. Something that aroused a greater faith in God than I had been prepared for. That it came just in time for Christmas was the proverbial cherry on top.
Dad would want me to have been happy this holiday, even without his presence at the breakfast table yesterday morning. He would want me to go on with my life, and to be happy and to keep finding happiness. My friends encouraged me to know that there is still plenty of time to have the happiness that I have dreamed of having for so long... and I believe them. One of these years, in the not too distant future, I hope that will be me sharing photos on Facebook of my children having Christmas morning. I long to see Christmas through their eyes, just as Dad saw it through those of my sister and I.
This, was a far better Christmas than I was ready to be blessed with. I don't think that would have been possible without some of the despair and depression that I went through on the way to it. Maybe that is God's timing too: that I might have a lot of sadness before I could appreciate the joy.
I like to believe so.
This was one of the best Christmases that I've ever had. I don't know how those in years to come will compare, but this Christmas is forever going to be part of me that I will take with me always.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go. There is a handsomely-endowed gift card for Barnes & Noble in my possession that is screaming to be put to good use this afternoon :-)
Saturday, December 20, 2014
It's a very Dalek Christmas!
Okay, that's it. I give up. I didn't know how having a Christmas this year was going to be at all possible. In light of everything that's happened in the past nearly two months, yuletide joy was something that seemed way past feasibility. Although, I haven't begrudged anyone from having that. Just feels like I'm on the outside looking in this year, is all.
But then before tonight's performance of It's A Wonderful Life: The Musical two young ladies who I've been working backstage with surprised me with a little something. And as I told Joy and Makia, this has to be the sweetest thing that has happened to me since Lord knows when.
Look! Dalek action figures from Doctor Who!
Joy and Makia spotted these in a nearby store and... well, words cannot possibly convey how touched I am to be given these by two such wonderful people. As you can see that's the classic Dalek seen in "Genesis of the Daleks" from 1975 during the Tom Baker era. Along with one of the utterly insane variants witnessed two years ago in "Asylum of the Daleks" from the midst of Matt Smith's reign as the Doctor.
I can't help but feel some Christmas cheer now. It's A Wonderful Life is a story about how every life has meaning. Your own life too. Even if you can't see on your own how it could be. In the end George Bailey discovered that he had riches that he never imagined, and right now - in the midst of where life has led me these past few months - being given these Dalek figures by two friends I've made through this production has let me feel much like George Bailey.
Incidentally, these are the very first anything of the Daleks that I've ever owned. I've been a fan of them for almost as long as I've been watching Doctor Who (more than thirty years now) but for whatever reason I've never had any to call my own. They now have a very special place of honor: on my "motivational table" on my computer desk, sitting next to the monitor. It has things on it that I sometimes look at while I'm writing my book. Already on it are Emmet and Wyldstyle minifigs from The LEGO Movie, and three expansion packs for the Star Wars: X-Wing Miniatures game (which will remain unopened and unplayed-with until my work on the book is finished). Two Daleks in the fore of it all is going to be the cherry on top, 'cuz hey: it's tough getting more motivational than having two Daleks aiming their guns at you, right?
Thanks again to Joy and Makia for giving me a lot to smile about this holiday season :-)
But then before tonight's performance of It's A Wonderful Life: The Musical two young ladies who I've been working backstage with surprised me with a little something. And as I told Joy and Makia, this has to be the sweetest thing that has happened to me since Lord knows when.
Look! Dalek action figures from Doctor Who!
Joy and Makia spotted these in a nearby store and... well, words cannot possibly convey how touched I am to be given these by two such wonderful people. As you can see that's the classic Dalek seen in "Genesis of the Daleks" from 1975 during the Tom Baker era. Along with one of the utterly insane variants witnessed two years ago in "Asylum of the Daleks" from the midst of Matt Smith's reign as the Doctor.
I can't help but feel some Christmas cheer now. It's A Wonderful Life is a story about how every life has meaning. Your own life too. Even if you can't see on your own how it could be. In the end George Bailey discovered that he had riches that he never imagined, and right now - in the midst of where life has led me these past few months - being given these Dalek figures by two friends I've made through this production has let me feel much like George Bailey.
Incidentally, these are the very first anything of the Daleks that I've ever owned. I've been a fan of them for almost as long as I've been watching Doctor Who (more than thirty years now) but for whatever reason I've never had any to call my own. They now have a very special place of honor: on my "motivational table" on my computer desk, sitting next to the monitor. It has things on it that I sometimes look at while I'm writing my book. Already on it are Emmet and Wyldstyle minifigs from The LEGO Movie, and three expansion packs for the Star Wars: X-Wing Miniatures game (which will remain unopened and unplayed-with until my work on the book is finished). Two Daleks in the fore of it all is going to be the cherry on top, 'cuz hey: it's tough getting more motivational than having two Daleks aiming their guns at you, right?
Thanks again to Joy and Makia for giving me a lot to smile about this holiday season :-)
Friday, December 19, 2014
Currently going through a bout of depression...
Actually, it's a rapid-cycling episode that's been going on for the past two days. I woke up yesterday morning, remembered that Dad was gone, went into sadness that suddenly plummeted into clinical depression (something that lacks any emotion whatsoever) and then got catapulted into a bout of mania where the sadness returned, got escalated beyond my ready grasp of things, and threw me into a somewhat paranoid state of mind.
This has been going on and off for the past 36 hours now.
So I'm looking forward to working backstage during tonight's performance of Theatre Guild of Rockingham County's production of It's A Wonderful Life: The Musical. Three more performances this weekend: tonight, tomorrow night also at 7:30 and then Sunday afternoon at 2:30. Being involved in something like community theatre helps immensely, whether I'm on-stage or behind the scenes. That's a really special group of people I get to collaborate with and it means a lot to have so much depending on me and on each other.
Speaking of the theatre guild, I'm planning on auditioning for a few more shows coming up. It'll be the first time in four years that I would be on the stage. One certain show has a particular role that I've got my eyes on bigtime, and everyone I've told it to have said: "Chris, that role fits you perfectly." Let's just say that this character has issues and I've got issues and figure it out from there :-)
Okay well, in addition to the theatre the past few weeks (I don't know what's gonna happen when the production ends on Sunday, it's been so much fun!) there's been Tammy the Pup. And I haven't posted nearly enough photos of her lately so here she is, my little girl...
I was lucky to catch her in one of her calmer moments :-)
This has been going on and off for the past 36 hours now.
So I'm looking forward to working backstage during tonight's performance of Theatre Guild of Rockingham County's production of It's A Wonderful Life: The Musical. Three more performances this weekend: tonight, tomorrow night also at 7:30 and then Sunday afternoon at 2:30. Being involved in something like community theatre helps immensely, whether I'm on-stage or behind the scenes. That's a really special group of people I get to collaborate with and it means a lot to have so much depending on me and on each other.
Speaking of the theatre guild, I'm planning on auditioning for a few more shows coming up. It'll be the first time in four years that I would be on the stage. One certain show has a particular role that I've got my eyes on bigtime, and everyone I've told it to have said: "Chris, that role fits you perfectly." Let's just say that this character has issues and I've got issues and figure it out from there :-)
Okay well, in addition to the theatre the past few weeks (I don't know what's gonna happen when the production ends on Sunday, it's been so much fun!) there's been Tammy the Pup. And I haven't posted nearly enough photos of her lately so here she is, my little girl...
I was lucky to catch her in one of her calmer moments :-)
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Classic SESAME STREET: Bert and Ernie's "The Gift of the Magi"
Good googeley moogely... it's been ages since I posted any Sesame Street clips!! I think maybe at least two years, maybe longer than that. How in the world did I overlook such timeless material? Shame on me!
Time to make up for it. And boy howdy, do I get to make up for it...
I was waaaay young when this aired but I vividly remember it. It was part of a Sesame Street Christmas special from... I think it was 1980? The other part of it that's still in my head is Big Bird sitting on top of the apartment building waiting for Santa, and wondering how in the world would the big guy get into those tiny little chimneys.
But this is the real highlight of the show: Bert and Ernie in an adaptation of O. Henry's classic holiday tale "The Gift of the Magi", as only Bert and Ernie can. And poignantly, it also features Mr. Hooper. Played by Will Lee, who sadly passed away later on in 1982 and subsequently became the subject of a very moving episode where Big Bird tries to come to grips with Hooper's death.
So here it is: Bert and Ernie and Mr. Hooper, reminding us that the beauty of Christmas is not in the getting, but in the giving. I present to you, dear readers, with a most wonderful take on "The Gift of the Magi":
Time to make up for it. And boy howdy, do I get to make up for it...
I was waaaay young when this aired but I vividly remember it. It was part of a Sesame Street Christmas special from... I think it was 1980? The other part of it that's still in my head is Big Bird sitting on top of the apartment building waiting for Santa, and wondering how in the world would the big guy get into those tiny little chimneys.
But this is the real highlight of the show: Bert and Ernie in an adaptation of O. Henry's classic holiday tale "The Gift of the Magi", as only Bert and Ernie can. And poignantly, it also features Mr. Hooper. Played by Will Lee, who sadly passed away later on in 1982 and subsequently became the subject of a very moving episode where Big Bird tries to come to grips with Hooper's death.
So here it is: Bert and Ernie and Mr. Hooper, reminding us that the beauty of Christmas is not in the getting, but in the giving. I present to you, dear readers, with a most wonderful take on "The Gift of the Magi":
Friday, December 12, 2014
The book: Moving ahead...
It was three weeks ago today that Dad passed away. I'm still in a great state of grief, more than that even, about it. There's a real shock that comes with seeing someone so close to you suddenly leaving you like that. But I still believe that there was something of God's hand in how things played out. If the circumstances had been slightly different in any of a thousand different ways, my family would not have had those sixteen days to be with him. In the end, if God had to take him after so long a bountiful, fulfilling and loving life, it came about in what I can only call the best of all possible outcomes.
That said, I still grieve. There is no small measure of confusion about certain matters. And I would be remiss if I did not mention that there have been a number of times during these past three weeks that clinical depression has hit and coincided with that profound sadness. I was going to visit a church this past Sunday morning but couldn't muster myself to get out of bed, much less be aroused to shave and shower. That did eventually come, but by then it was too late to attend a service.
I don't think these things are really avoidable. They're part of the process, and it can't be rushed through. I don't think God intended them to be rushed through. This is pain, and it cannot be averted. But it will pass, and I know that Dad would want me to move on with my life and take everything good that he gave me with me along the journey.
It hasn't happened yet, not enough that I can really do it, but I'm coming to a place where I can begin work again on the book. Maybe next week it will happen. I haven't written anything serious for it since a few days before Halloween, five days before Dad had his stroke. He had told me to take a break for awhile. Here it is more than a month and a half later and the only thing I've done in the intervening period is re-write the prologue in a different tense and compose one very brief "interlude" meant for between the chapters. And I did those mostly to get my mind off of things, for however brief a time I had.
Next week, I'm going to start tackling this again. I'm pretty sure of it.
Like I said, this is a process and it can't be hurried through for my own sake. But I do see the signs of healing. The sessions with my counselor have become weekly, and in them I see markers along the way. I have been learning some Christmas songs during my dulcimer lessons. Last week I was asked to help backstage with the local theatre guild's production of It's A Wonderful Life: The Musical. Tonight is opening night, and it has been a good thing for me to be around such a great bunch of people and working with them to pull off such an amazing production. It has been a good thing for me to be around people in general, rather than cooped-up with nothing but my dog and the depression. Okay, Tammy has been a great presence in my life during all this time and she's definitely someone who has shown me an amazing amount of love and understanding but, well... it helps to hear a real human voice too, ya understand...
This isn't going to be much of a Christmas season for me. I think that's okay. I was becoming too burned-out on Christmas becoming so over-commercialized anyway. The previous six weeks have left my entire family exhausted, truth be told. We are going to have a small get-together on Christmas morning and I will be watching the Doctor Who Christmas special that night and that will be it. No giving gifts and I ask to not be given any. All I ask of my friends and family is to hold each other close and thank God for being in each others' lives and be grateful for having things better than any of us could possibly deserve. I won't be celebrating Christmas, for the most part. And right now, that's fine.
This is a process. Like life itself. It hurts to go through this right now, but I am trusting God that this will be something that in the end will make me a stronger person. I see it already. And I believe that eventually I will see that this period of my life will have been not only for my own benefit, but for that of those close to me and for the sake of things like the book.
Speaking of which: my book now has a new title.
The idea for it hit me during the past few days, I think maybe Tuesday morning. At first I thought it was too... I dunno... small, perhaps? But the more I thought about it the more I realized that there is not only power in its brevity, but that it encapsulates a tremendous deal about the nature of bipolar disorder. It also reflects a passage from the Bible that was invoked during Dad's funeral service: something pertaining to the nature of his handiwork.
I think it's the perfect title. And I think Dad would like it too.
Dad wouldn't want me to linger in grief. He would want me to move forward. To "always think positive" as he was fond of saying often. I still have hopes of marrying and having children, maybe someday I will get to see many a Christmas through their eyes. If I can finish writing this book, perhaps there will be more. My bipolar is becoming more manageable, I can see it held at bay by the medications and the counseling more than ever.
Dad got to see that, before he left us. I like to believe that even if he didn't see it happen, that he knew that I would be okay. That he got to see me come to the place where God has been leading me toward for all of this time.
And now it's time to honor him by living my life to its fullest as it's never been possible to do before.
Starting with finishing writing my book.
That said, I still grieve. There is no small measure of confusion about certain matters. And I would be remiss if I did not mention that there have been a number of times during these past three weeks that clinical depression has hit and coincided with that profound sadness. I was going to visit a church this past Sunday morning but couldn't muster myself to get out of bed, much less be aroused to shave and shower. That did eventually come, but by then it was too late to attend a service.
I don't think these things are really avoidable. They're part of the process, and it can't be rushed through. I don't think God intended them to be rushed through. This is pain, and it cannot be averted. But it will pass, and I know that Dad would want me to move on with my life and take everything good that he gave me with me along the journey.
It hasn't happened yet, not enough that I can really do it, but I'm coming to a place where I can begin work again on the book. Maybe next week it will happen. I haven't written anything serious for it since a few days before Halloween, five days before Dad had his stroke. He had told me to take a break for awhile. Here it is more than a month and a half later and the only thing I've done in the intervening period is re-write the prologue in a different tense and compose one very brief "interlude" meant for between the chapters. And I did those mostly to get my mind off of things, for however brief a time I had.
Next week, I'm going to start tackling this again. I'm pretty sure of it.
Like I said, this is a process and it can't be hurried through for my own sake. But I do see the signs of healing. The sessions with my counselor have become weekly, and in them I see markers along the way. I have been learning some Christmas songs during my dulcimer lessons. Last week I was asked to help backstage with the local theatre guild's production of It's A Wonderful Life: The Musical. Tonight is opening night, and it has been a good thing for me to be around such a great bunch of people and working with them to pull off such an amazing production. It has been a good thing for me to be around people in general, rather than cooped-up with nothing but my dog and the depression. Okay, Tammy has been a great presence in my life during all this time and she's definitely someone who has shown me an amazing amount of love and understanding but, well... it helps to hear a real human voice too, ya understand...
This isn't going to be much of a Christmas season for me. I think that's okay. I was becoming too burned-out on Christmas becoming so over-commercialized anyway. The previous six weeks have left my entire family exhausted, truth be told. We are going to have a small get-together on Christmas morning and I will be watching the Doctor Who Christmas special that night and that will be it. No giving gifts and I ask to not be given any. All I ask of my friends and family is to hold each other close and thank God for being in each others' lives and be grateful for having things better than any of us could possibly deserve. I won't be celebrating Christmas, for the most part. And right now, that's fine.
This is a process. Like life itself. It hurts to go through this right now, but I am trusting God that this will be something that in the end will make me a stronger person. I see it already. And I believe that eventually I will see that this period of my life will have been not only for my own benefit, but for that of those close to me and for the sake of things like the book.
Speaking of which: my book now has a new title.
The idea for it hit me during the past few days, I think maybe Tuesday morning. At first I thought it was too... I dunno... small, perhaps? But the more I thought about it the more I realized that there is not only power in its brevity, but that it encapsulates a tremendous deal about the nature of bipolar disorder. It also reflects a passage from the Bible that was invoked during Dad's funeral service: something pertaining to the nature of his handiwork.
I think it's the perfect title. And I think Dad would like it too.
Dad wouldn't want me to linger in grief. He would want me to move forward. To "always think positive" as he was fond of saying often. I still have hopes of marrying and having children, maybe someday I will get to see many a Christmas through their eyes. If I can finish writing this book, perhaps there will be more. My bipolar is becoming more manageable, I can see it held at bay by the medications and the counseling more than ever.
Dad got to see that, before he left us. I like to believe that even if he didn't see it happen, that he knew that I would be okay. That he got to see me come to the place where God has been leading me toward for all of this time.
And now it's time to honor him by living my life to its fullest as it's never been possible to do before.
Starting with finishing writing my book.
You voted Republican last month? Why?
I'm going to say something right now, and I don't care if it offends
ANY body. If it happens to offend you, good: maybe you NEED offending
to open your eyes...
There is NO difference at all between the Democrat and Republican parties and anyone who puts the SLIGHTEST amount of trust in one party or the other... and I'm going to single out those who support the Republican party especially... are worse than fools and idiots.
For the past few days I've watched the Republicans, AKA the party that was just elected to "fix things" in the House and Senate, PISS AWAY their alleged ideals and principles by caving-in to Obama and everything he's demanded, especially in the way of the "amnesty" for the ILLEGAL aliens who have BROKEN THE LAW and are STILL breaking the law in being here.
The elections last month mean NOTHING. Think I'm wrong? Watch the incoming class of freshman representatives: by and large they already support John Boehner: by far the most useless Speaker of the House in American history. He has foiled efforts to reign-in the government at every turn. In a sane country there would have been a vote of no-confidence in this a$$hole's "leadership". And now the "conservative" leaders of the Republican party have given their alleged enemy Obama all the money he needs to fund shamnesty. Boehner and his fellow "Republicans" have done NOTHING to end Obamacare. And they never will.
To those of you who voted for the Republican party last month and seriously, seriously thought you were doing something to change the country for the better: what ARE you smoking?
You aren't doing a damn thing to turn around America by still voting for the Republican party. Or for the Democrat party. Or for ANY party. We are in this mess because too many people... and yes some of YOU reading this... haven't engaged the brains that GOD Himself gave you and trusted you to use. You thought that you could let a party of all things think for you... and this is where it has brought us.
You thought that voting Republican was your "Christian duty"?! People who are that way are worse than useless. De-friend me on Facebook if that honks you off too much. I'm dealing with realities, not illusions. There is no escaping from realities.
The reality is, too many of us have put faith in a thing of man, and not put a faith in God. And then claimed that they are serving God by supporting something so corrupt as temporal politics.
Tonight I saw the "conservative" Republicans let this nation slide even further into turmoil and decay. All that they care about is their position, is their power. The elections last month mean nothing now and they will mean even less a few months from now.
This country is run by idiots who really think that they're doing something meaningful by throwing their trust and faith behind political parties who do nothing but sell out the American people at every step of the way.
God help us.
In so many words: we have been BETRAYED. And we will consistently be betrayed, by those who are supposedly appointed to serve us. By those who ASKED to serve us in the first place.
If THAT doesn't piss you off more than all of what I've written above, then you have significant issues as an American citizen.
Yeah, stop visiting this blog if you like. Deem me your enemy if you wish. I would rather that you not. But I also happen to appreciate more the company of those who refuse attempting to exist without the responsibilities of conscience.
And unfortunately, it seems there are too damn few of us left.
There is NO difference at all between the Democrat and Republican parties and anyone who puts the SLIGHTEST amount of trust in one party or the other... and I'm going to single out those who support the Republican party especially... are worse than fools and idiots.
For the past few days I've watched the Republicans, AKA the party that was just elected to "fix things" in the House and Senate, PISS AWAY their alleged ideals and principles by caving-in to Obama and everything he's demanded, especially in the way of the "amnesty" for the ILLEGAL aliens who have BROKEN THE LAW and are STILL breaking the law in being here.
The elections last month mean NOTHING. Think I'm wrong? Watch the incoming class of freshman representatives: by and large they already support John Boehner: by far the most useless Speaker of the House in American history. He has foiled efforts to reign-in the government at every turn. In a sane country there would have been a vote of no-confidence in this a$$hole's "leadership". And now the "conservative" leaders of the Republican party have given their alleged enemy Obama all the money he needs to fund shamnesty. Boehner and his fellow "Republicans" have done NOTHING to end Obamacare. And they never will.
To those of you who voted for the Republican party last month and seriously, seriously thought you were doing something to change the country for the better: what ARE you smoking?
You aren't doing a damn thing to turn around America by still voting for the Republican party. Or for the Democrat party. Or for ANY party. We are in this mess because too many people... and yes some of YOU reading this... haven't engaged the brains that GOD Himself gave you and trusted you to use. You thought that you could let a party of all things think for you... and this is where it has brought us.
You thought that voting Republican was your "Christian duty"?! People who are that way are worse than useless. De-friend me on Facebook if that honks you off too much. I'm dealing with realities, not illusions. There is no escaping from realities.
The reality is, too many of us have put faith in a thing of man, and not put a faith in God. And then claimed that they are serving God by supporting something so corrupt as temporal politics.
Tonight I saw the "conservative" Republicans let this nation slide even further into turmoil and decay. All that they care about is their position, is their power. The elections last month mean nothing now and they will mean even less a few months from now.
This country is run by idiots who really think that they're doing something meaningful by throwing their trust and faith behind political parties who do nothing but sell out the American people at every step of the way.
God help us.
In so many words: we have been BETRAYED. And we will consistently be betrayed, by those who are supposedly appointed to serve us. By those who ASKED to serve us in the first place.
If THAT doesn't piss you off more than all of what I've written above, then you have significant issues as an American citizen.
Yeah, stop visiting this blog if you like. Deem me your enemy if you wish. I would rather that you not. But I also happen to appreciate more the company of those who refuse attempting to exist without the responsibilities of conscience.
And unfortunately, it seems there are too damn few of us left.
Monday, December 01, 2014
Memorial video for Dad
On the night after Dad's passing, Anita (my sister), my aunt and uncle and I went through a ton of old photographs to use in the video that the funeral home would put together for the tribute that would play during visitation on the following night. Wilkerson Funeral did a very solid job in doing so and I wanted to share it on my blog.
I don't want to say which one, but there is one photo in here that seriously broke my heart to include. It was Dad's favorite photograph. It hung on the wall of his knife shop. Heck, it was the knife shop, the heart and soul of it. We knew we wanted it in the video, but it honestly hurt me to take it down on the morning before the visitation that night. It was like taking out the last lingering vestige of Dad's presence from his beloved shop.
Sometime soon, I'm going to have that photo framed and place it back where it belongs.
I don't want to say which one, but there is one photo in here that seriously broke my heart to include. It was Dad's favorite photograph. It hung on the wall of his knife shop. Heck, it was the knife shop, the heart and soul of it. We knew we wanted it in the video, but it honestly hurt me to take it down on the morning before the visitation that night. It was like taking out the last lingering vestige of Dad's presence from his beloved shop.
Sometime soon, I'm going to have that photo framed and place it back where it belongs.
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
The FORCERY Four, together again!
I don't know how else to put it, but there are some things that happened at Dad's funeral that despite the occasion were an amazing delight. And I truly believe that Dad would have had no small measure of pride if he could somehow know that this celebration of his life brought so many wonderful people together to celebrate not only his own life, but also of the most precious things in all our lives.
During the service I spoke a few words about Dad and since the other ministers were sharing stories from his life, I did likewise and related some tales of how forgiving and relenting - even if he didn't understand what the heck I was doing - of the many stunts that I pulled during the life that we shared. One of them was during the filming of Forcery: my first (and Lord willing still the first of many more to come) film project. So there was Dad watching as we did things like setting fire to the living room floor of his house, having sledgehammers flying all over the place, "breaking" my best friend's legs etc. Dad saw this one day and he started to leave.
"Are you headed out Dad?" I asked him.
"Uh-huh, way out," was his reply. That got a good laugh from the very many who came to the service.
Well, as it turned out, Dad's funeral turned out to be the occasion of a reunion of sorts. Because among those who came were Chad Austin, Ed Woody, and though it was a long drive for them Melody Hallman Daniel and her mother attended... and boy was my heart jumping for joy to see each of them! Ten years ago we were all making Forcery. And as things would have it, we wound up all together once again.
It hadn't been planned, but I really believe that it was something God let happen: the reunion of the Forcery Four.
So here - from left to right - are Ed, myself, Chad, and Melody (with her service dog Sasha) ten years later, just after Dad's funeral:
We don't look all that different than we did when we were making that movie, do we? :-)
And here they are, the stars of our show: Chad and Melody, AKA George Lucas and Frannie Filks:
For such a low-budget project, it is absolutely amazing where our little film has gone and has accomplished since then. Melody shared how many of her former drama students and fellow faculty members come up to her to tell her they saw her in the Forcery footage that was featured in The People vs. George Lucas. Chad and Melody were seen on the screens at Cannes. Forcery was mentioned in Time and The Village Voice and a lot of other publications, and made a whole bunch of bigtime filmmaking-related websites.
I won't say that I myself am proud of Forcery. Instead, I will say that I am proud of what we accomplished together. We didn't become only friends because of Forcery: the four of us and others became a real family. Chad and Ed, have long been my brothers. Melody became as beloved to me as any sister. And all of them brought amazing consolation to me when I needed it most.
That is what makes Forcery so special in my life... and it always will be.
But it better not be another ten years before we come together again! We've already planned to reunite again and watch Forcery once more. No doubt next time we will have even more family to share it with :-)
EDIT 11-27-2014 3 a.m. EST: After attempting it multiple times and failing, I finally got Forcery, the entire movie, to upload as a single YouTube video! No more having to jump to parts. Here it is. Enjoy!
During the service I spoke a few words about Dad and since the other ministers were sharing stories from his life, I did likewise and related some tales of how forgiving and relenting - even if he didn't understand what the heck I was doing - of the many stunts that I pulled during the life that we shared. One of them was during the filming of Forcery: my first (and Lord willing still the first of many more to come) film project. So there was Dad watching as we did things like setting fire to the living room floor of his house, having sledgehammers flying all over the place, "breaking" my best friend's legs etc. Dad saw this one day and he started to leave.
"Are you headed out Dad?" I asked him.
"Uh-huh, way out," was his reply. That got a good laugh from the very many who came to the service.
Well, as it turned out, Dad's funeral turned out to be the occasion of a reunion of sorts. Because among those who came were Chad Austin, Ed Woody, and though it was a long drive for them Melody Hallman Daniel and her mother attended... and boy was my heart jumping for joy to see each of them! Ten years ago we were all making Forcery. And as things would have it, we wound up all together once again.
It hadn't been planned, but I really believe that it was something God let happen: the reunion of the Forcery Four.
So here - from left to right - are Ed, myself, Chad, and Melody (with her service dog Sasha) ten years later, just after Dad's funeral:
We don't look all that different than we did when we were making that movie, do we? :-)
And here they are, the stars of our show: Chad and Melody, AKA George Lucas and Frannie Filks:
For such a low-budget project, it is absolutely amazing where our little film has gone and has accomplished since then. Melody shared how many of her former drama students and fellow faculty members come up to her to tell her they saw her in the Forcery footage that was featured in The People vs. George Lucas. Chad and Melody were seen on the screens at Cannes. Forcery was mentioned in Time and The Village Voice and a lot of other publications, and made a whole bunch of bigtime filmmaking-related websites.
I won't say that I myself am proud of Forcery. Instead, I will say that I am proud of what we accomplished together. We didn't become only friends because of Forcery: the four of us and others became a real family. Chad and Ed, have long been my brothers. Melody became as beloved to me as any sister. And all of them brought amazing consolation to me when I needed it most.
That is what makes Forcery so special in my life... and it always will be.
But it better not be another ten years before we come together again! We've already planned to reunite again and watch Forcery once more. No doubt next time we will have even more family to share it with :-)
EDIT 11-27-2014 3 a.m. EST: After attempting it multiple times and failing, I finally got Forcery, the entire movie, to upload as a single YouTube video! No more having to jump to parts. Here it is. Enjoy!
