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Monday, October 30, 2023

God, sacrifice, and Yoda

The other week I shared on here that I had put my beloved Yoda puppet signed by "Weird Al" Yankovic up for auction on eBay.  It was something I had never, ever thought I would find myself doing.  I had outright declared that it would never happen.  When I asked Weird Al to sign this, it was always with the intention that it would be just for me, a real treasured prize for both my Star Wars and Yankovic collections.
But real-life circumstances had forced me to make some difficult decisions.  It was compelling me to betray myself and go back on what I had promised to never do.
Since posting about that, there have been a number of developments.  Some things transpired and, well... let's just say that for once, I have been seeing the hand of God at work and I am not doubting Him, that He provides even when all seems hopeless.
So yesterday I had my smart speaker set to the "Weird Al" Yankovic station.  And one of the first songs it played was "Yoda".

I took that as confirmation that I should de-list the auction for the Yoda puppet.
Maybe I merely needed to be ready to sacrifice it, like Abraham had to prepare to sacrifice his son (recorded in the Book of Genesis, chapter 22).  Now a forty-some year old toy signed by a musical artist is NOT the same thing as one's own child.  But I think God sometimes asks us to be ready to sacrifice something precious, so that He can make something wonderful of that.
In my case I learned a little bit more to trust in Him.  I think He knows what value this puppet has for me: it's something Mom bought for me when I was going on seven years old.  I like to think she was a Yoda fan too and delighted that I was crazy about the character.
But unfortunately that is one of the few truly happy memories that I have about my mother.  She and I had a very difficult relationship.  It was absolutely monstrous at times.  Along with the bipolar disorder, what happened between Mom and I is something that has demanded its own strategy in counseling.
This puppet is one of the few tangible reminders I have left that Mom could be a good person, too.  That she wasn't always consumed by the kernel of cruelty within her.  It took me a very long time to be able to forgive the memory I have of her.  That finally happened this past year.
I guess, maybe God knows that.  And knows that my faith in things isn't really based on anything a person can own.  But sometimes God winks at you, and maybe the provision He's made in so many ways is more appreciated because I was ready to give up something.
Just some thoughts I'm having this evening.
So, I've de-listed the puppet.  I'm confident now that things are going to work out in my circumstances.  And God has taught me some things from this particular side tale of the larger episode of late.  I can and will be thankful for that.
Besides, if I really did have to sell Yoda, I did NOT want him going to someone I didn't know.  I'm gonna try to "keep it in the family", with someone from among my many friends.


Anonymous said...

So glad you decided to keep Yoda!!!