"Weird Al" Yankovic imitates the inimitable Queen with "Ringtone"!

Yes, I'm up way early (or is that way late?) awaiting a new song by "Weird Al" Yankovic. But can ya blame me? Especially since Weird Al has bestowed upon us a better summer than we deserve with his "Internet Leaks" collection. A short while ago the fourth and final song from the set was released: "Ringtone". It's a Queen-style anthem celebrating/condemning cellular phone ringtones (duh!). And as always, it's uproariously funny! Can this Al guy make a song about anything or what?

Here's the video for "Ringtone" on YouTube, directed by Josh Faure-Brac and Dustin McLean of Current TV's SuperNews. And on the video's page you can find links where you can purchase the "Ringtone" song or the "Ringtone" video from various online outlets like iTunes. Or you can purchase both and put more coin in Al's pocket (as sound an investment as anything these days).

And if you haven't purchased any of the "Internet Leaks" collection yet (though Lord only knows why) you can buy the whole shebang at iTunes with one lump sum. Or, perish in flames.

It's your choice. But not really.

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A thought from the weekend's contemplation

They who sacrifice enlightenment for power are never free.

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Factory worker steals motorcycle one piece at a time

So the very next day when I punched in
With my big lunchbox and with help from my friends
I left that day with a lunch box full of gears
Now, I never considered myself a thief
GM wouldn't miss just one little piece
Especially if I strung it out over several years.

-- "One Piece At A Time"
Johnny Cash
(written by Wayne Kemp)

Zhang, a worker in a motorcycle factory in China, was no doubt thinking of Johnny Cash's 1976 hit single when he embarked upon his scheme to steal a motorcycle by smuggling one part at a time home with him. "I don't have that much money, so I came up with the idea of taking the parts home and assembling them on my own," he said.

It took him five years but he was able to pull it off. And then he was pulled over as soon as he hit the road for lack of driver's license and title to the bike. Zhang was fined, put on probation and had to return the motorcycle to the factory (and presumably fired).

(It also reminds me of that episode of M*A*S*H where Radar is trying to mail a jeep back home one piece at at time :-)

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Back from the weekend

A lot of zaniness piled up on my desk. I'd better get to work.

I heared you people behaved yourselves pretty well while I was gone. For that you can buy a candy bar and pretend I got it for you :-P

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Gone for the weekend

Back Sunday night or Monday. Unless something crazy/bad/extraordinarily ridiculous happens that demands posting about, no new articles for the next few days.

Probably some fresh and new stuff when I resume next week :-)

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First trailer for James Cameron's AVATAR

Haven't been able to find it on YouTube yet, so for the time being you'll have to watch it in Quicktime format. Which may be for the best anyway, since Quicktime is much more high-res.

Avatar certainly looks good. So far as what the story is supposed to be about, I'm not quite jazzed about it. Yet, anyway. But hey, I've been pleasantly surprised about a movie before, maybe this one will too.

Avatar opens this coming December 18th.

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12,000-year old barbecue joint found in Cyprus

Archaeologists working on the island of Cyprus in the Mediterranean Sea are saying that a cave discovered there in 1961 may have been a take-out barbecue diner used around twelve thousand years ago. Except that instead of beef or pork, those ancient Cypriots were feasting on small hippopotamuses... and the human's appetite may have helped drive the species into extinction.

Thousands of prehistoric hippo bones found in Cyprus are adding to a growing debate on the possible role of humans in the extinction of larger animals 12,000 years ago.

First discovered by an 11-year-old boy in 1961, a tiny rock-shelter crammed with hippo remains radically rewrote archaeological accounts of when this east Mediterranean island was first visited by humans.

It has fired speculation of being the first takeaway diner used by humans to cook and possibly dispatch meat. It also adds to growing speculation, controversial in some quarters, that humans could have eaten some animals to extinction.

In Cyprus, where islanders' love of the barbecue is alive and well to this day, it would have been the pygmy hippo, or "Phanourios minutus," an endemic species resembling a large pig which apparently vanished around the same time people appeared on the island...

I wonder what kind of sauce they used on those hippo ribs.

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Two giants of journalism have passed away

Enigmatic but always sincere and true to himself. That's how I'm always going to think of Robert Novak - called and not without reason "the last of the shoe leather newspaper reporters" - who passed away yesterday at age 78 after a heroic battle against brain cancer.

Novak embodied and epitomized everything that it's supposed to mean to be a reporter: working hard, cultivating sources, and never taking anything at face value. A lot of people are calling him a "conservative" commentator. I don't know if that could really be said about Novak. He was the kind of journalist who, better than most, separated his politics from his profession. But when he had to weigh in on the issues he did it on his own terms. As Novak once observed: "Always love your country — but never trust your government!"

And it goes without saying: Robert Novak was a damned brilliant writer.

And then today comes word that Don Hewitt has died at age 86 from pancreatic cancer.

Hewitt's place in television history would have been secured for any number of things: the first nationwide satellite news broadcast, producing and directing the presidential debate between Kennedy and Nixon, and a bunch more during his more than half a century at CBS.

But it was his idea for a new format of television journalism that Hewitt will be most remembered for. As he wrote in his autobiography "The formula is simple, and it's reduced to four words every kid in the world knows: Tell me a story. It's that easy." In 1968 60 Minutes premiered. It has been the most acclaimed, the most respected and at times the most feared television news program ever since.

Thoughts and prayers going out to the families of both men.

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Awful quiet lately

Too quiet.

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"Too funny!" Billy Bobb videos on YouTube

Holy cow!! Now I have seen everything.

Years ago there was a local television station called WGGT Channel 48, broadcasting from Greensboro. This was back when unaffiliated stations were extremely independent in their programming and such. Well, WGGT might have been one of the last to have what many people will fondly remember as a "horror host": a home-grown character who presented various scary movies and sci-fi flicks on Saturday afternoons.

Except that WGGT did things a little different. It's "horror" host was a goofy redneck named Billy Bobb, and his show was called Billy Bobb's Action Theatre.

And believe it or not, someone somewhere has a trove of old recordings of Billy Bobb from WGGT and is now putting them on YouTube.

Here's a set of promos for Billy Bobb's Action Theatre...

And here are some commercials featuring Billy Bobb for area businesses...

I wonder whatever happened to Billy Bobb's puppet sidekick Junior Prankster. Probably moldering away forgotten in a sock drawer somewhere.

What else can be said but "Too Funny!" :-)

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Mozart killed by strep throat?

That's what researchers are now saying about the famous composer. Instead of foul play or fouler pork, it might have been nothing as mundane as an infection of streptococcus that took Mozart's life at the age of 35.

Read the rest of the story here, including all kinds of neat details about gory death in the Austrian Empire.

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Southeastern Conference bans social media at sports events

"No Twitter, Facebook, YouTube or TwitPic!" That's the dictate being sent to sports fans and students of Southeastern Conference member schools if they want to attend athletic events. Under its newly adopted media policy, the SEC has informed its schools that "Ticketed fans can't produce or disseminate (or aid in producing or disseminating) any material or information about the Event, including, but not limited to, any account, description, picture, video, audio, reproduction or other information concerning the Event."

It's effectively a ban on all so-called "social media". Per the new regs, a fan could get ejected from the premises simply for using his iPhone to take a picture of himself at a Gators football game and sending it to his friends on Facebook.

So what's behind this boneheaded move? The $3 billion contact with CBS for the next 15 years, giving that network exclusive media rights to cover SEC games. In other words: if you go to an SEC event, you and your cellphone are potential competition to a multi-billion dollar broadcast television corporation equipped with the latest cutting-edge high definition technology.

This isn't entirely unheard of, but for a collegiate athletic conference to crack down on the fans themselves is certainly new (and treacherous) ground to tread. Not to mention darn near unenforceable.

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Don't sin at your own funeral, sez cult leader Johnny Robertson

If anyone still harbored doubts about Johnny Robertson - leader of the local cult calling itself the "Church of Christ" - those were erased during last night's broadcast of What Does the Bible Say? on WGSR Star 47.1 from Reidsville.

During the program, which included pre-recorded footage of Robertson speaking yesterday at his "Martinsville Church of Christ", Robertson exclaimed that to have the wrong funeral is grounds enough to displease God! Robertson told his followers to make sure that no instrumental music be played during their last rites.

Here's the transcript of what Johnny Robertson said at "Martinsville Church of Christ" on August 16, 2009 (with bold-faced text indicating spoken emphasis)...

"If you haven't determined how your funeral is going to go, you need to! Because you have family members who do not agree with what I just quoted from the Bible in Ephesians 5:19 about speaking to yourselves in songs, hymn and spiritual song! They will have you in your funeral, all kinds of pianos and stuff like that playing, and you won't want that not at all! But if you haven't said so, guess what? Your family gets to do what they want to do. So let me encourage you today, as we sing that song and we think about going home: when you leave us here behind, as you go home, make sure you leave us some instructions and your family some instructions so EVERYBODY knows how your funeral is SUPPOSED to go. We won't want people dishonoring you, your memory when you leave, what we mean by that is dishonoring you before God. So make sure you make those instructions, young or old, and give them to somebody else who is faithful and will make sure those things get carried out."

So according to Johnny Robertson, you are sinning before God if you have musical instruments playing at your funeral. Which makes it all so vital that you leave explicit directions prohibiting pianos, organs and the like from being used when you can't raise any objections from your casket or urn.

That is hyper-legalism to the nuttiest extreme that I have ever heard of.

Heck, Robertson and his followers are worse than the Pharisees were! Jesus took the Pharisees to task for the ridiculous lengths they went to in following the law. In the case of the "Church of Christ" cult (again, it has nothing to do with the regular Churches of Christ) they can't follow the law nearly enough so people like Robertson have to make up law that's not even scriptural! Ephesians 5:19, from the New International Version, simply states "Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord". Nowhere does it ever say in the Bible that to have instrumental music is an affront to God.

And then there's the glaringly obvious fact that for all his boasting about "knowing the Bible better than anyone", that Johnny Robertson does not have much of a sincere knowledge of the Bible at all. Because if he did, Robertson should already understand that...

"We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord."

-- 2nd Corinthians 5:8 (NIV)

We can't dishonor God after we have already left this world and gone into His presence. And not Johnny Robertson or anyone else should have this kind of unhealthy focus on whether our funerals are "right or wrong" anyway.

It's the life which Christ has given us that matters most of all: that life free by grace according to the rule of love, and not enslaved to the rule of law.

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I have an idea...

It came to me when I happened to catch tonight's CBS Evening News (which I don't usually watch at all).

Want to know how to economically revitalize the newspaper and television news industries, and increase enlightenment among the general public in one fell swoop?

It's very simple: ban the words "conservative" and "liberal" from usage by professional journalists.

Those words are worse than useless. They are woefully outdated terminology. The only function of "liberalism" and "conservatism" is to excuse one's own intellectual laziness.

(And truth be known, I'm seeing a lot of laziness in CBS's reporting tonight... but not really more than one would expect from CNN or Fox News either.)

That's no doubt a big reason why television and print journalism is suffering a slow and lingering death. The alternatives on the Internet - which are not confining themselves to a paradigm that was faulty well before it was obsolete - are attracting a vast audience wanting and demanding a fresh look at things replete with new ideas. Dumbed-down "debate" along the conservative/liberal lines is horridly boring... and doesn't represent reality at all.

People are getting tired of fakery and illusion. There is a dire and growing hunger for truth that we haven't known very much in living memory. And if the traditional media has any desire at all to survive, it's left with no choice but to commit to the higher standard of ideas, and abandon adherence to the lowest common denominator of cheap ideologies.

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Neill Blomkamp's ALIVE IN JOBURG

District 9 was the big winner at the theaters this weekend. A lot of folks are raving about how this movie is much better than a summer box office blockbuster deserves to be. I'm looking forward to catching it again later this week.

In the meantime, here is Neil Blomkamp's short film that inspired his District 9 feature film. You won't be spoiled by watching Alive in Joburg but if you've seen District 9 you'll certainly catch the similarities...

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eBay auction for crypt above Marilyn Monroe

Elsie Poncher says she needs money. But instead of pawning her wares or otherwise liquidating what most people consider to be normal assets, Mrs. Poncher has opted to sell off what must be one of the most unusual pieces of real estate in the world: she's selling the tomb of her husband at Westwood Memorial Park in Los Angeles. The crypt is currently occupied by the remains of Richard Poncher.

It's also located directly above the final resting place of Marilyn Monroe.

And what's more, Elsie Poncher is auctioning the tomb on eBay.

The initial bidding began at $500,000. As of this writing eBay Item #320412140795 "Crypt Above Marilyn Monroe For Sale" has received 23 bids and is up to $2,750,600.

Here's the item's description:

Here is a once in a lifetime and into eternity opportunity to spend your eternal days directly above Marilyn Monroe. This crypt in the famous Westwood Cemetary in West Los Angeles currently occupied above Marilyn Monroe is being vacated so as to make room for a new resident. "Spending Eternity next to Marilyn Monroe is too sweet to pass up", recently quoted by Hugh Heffner, who has reserved his place in eternity next to her. The lucky bidder will be deeded a piece of real estate that he or she will make their last address. And below you will be Marilyn Monroe. In fact the person occupying the address right now is looking face down on her.

"In fact the person occupying the address right now is looking face down on her"...?!

Words fail.

But in case anyone's interested, here's a photograph of what Mrs. Poncher is selling on eBay:

And she even takes PayPal!

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Safety First: Why Apple should never retire the iPod Classic

There's some tragic news out of Drexel Hill, Pennsylvania this weekend: a 19-year old woman is dead following an automobile accident. And apparently the motorist was distracted by the iPod she was trying to work while driving the car.

Before writing anything else, two things need to be said: I have no idea what model of iPod the driver was using. And I'll be the first to admit that I also use my iPod while driving. I might as well come clean on that much because otherwise I wouldn't be able to share these thoughts to begin with...

Normally, I don't think it's much of a problem to talk on a cellphone or work an iPod while driving. It's not much different an effort than messing around with the radio trying to find a good station (and it's pretty darned rare to hear of any crash being caused by touching that dial). Just for safety's sake though, I don't usually do things like that unless I'm securely on the road (i.e. not about to make any turns) and not otherwise distracted by anything else. 'Cuz hey: at that moment the velocity of the car is gonna be my top priority.

But I also don't believe that a driver should be text messaging while going down the road. That's a lot of focus and attention getting demanded from a device as opposed to passive use just by talking into it, or using simple movements with your thumb.

And that's one of the reasons why I ain't been keen on getting an iPod Touch, either.

I've tried the iPod Touch before, either at an Apple Store or one of those that some of my friends own. Personally, I found the model to be much harder to passively use than the original design of the iPod Classic. Even a simple task like changing the volume requires considerable visual contact with the device. And to use the iPod Touch (and the iPhone for that matter) most efficiently, one more often than not has to use both hands.

None of these things have ever been an issue with the iPod Classic and its simple, yet extremely functional click wheel. A driver can very easily adjust volume and skip tracks in an album with only the gesture of a thumb... and without having to take the eyes off the road. If need be, a bare minimum of visual confirmation (again, not more than to glance at the car's stereo system) is all that's needed to change album or artist or podcast.

Is the same ease of use of the iPod Classic to be found on the iPod Touch? If it's there, I haven't experienced it. There's definitely not enough to want to trust myself with working an iPod Touch while on the road. I can and do however have plenty of confidence that I can work my iPod Classic while in my car... just as I do every day. But that's not something I could see doing with the iPod Touch at all.

Some are reporting that Apple might be preparing to drop the iPod Classic model entirely, and compel its users to adopt the iPod Touch instead. I can't think of a worse thing that Apple could do with its popular multimedia device (yeah, even worse than not giving us the option to easily replace the battery) than to abandon the iPod Classic. And I say that as one who is absolutely eager to eventually get an iPod Touch: I'm just waiting for the flash storage capacity to catch up with what I'm used to from the hard drive of the iPod Classic (though I still wouldn't wanna drive with it). There is not only room for both models but a substantial need for consumers to be able to choose between the two. And for those of us who have operating a motor vehicle as an integral part of our daily lives, the iPod Classic is obviously the more safety-conscious alternative.

Ideally, I would love for Apple to not only retain the iPod Classic, but to continue advancing it along with the latest technology (an iPod Classic with more than 80 gigs of flash storage would be nice, hint-hint).

I just hope that Apple isn't considering letting the iPod Classic go just because the company wants to push sales from its App Store for the iPod Touch and iPhone. Doing so would certainly neglect a substantial portion of its users who appreciate the iPod Classic for its proven reliability, its iconic look, and its quality of being safe to operate in most any circumstance.

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Hypocrisy: Republicans launch site to track wild spending

So the House Republican Conference has just started up a new website dedicated to helping "the public and the press keep track of the billions of taxpayer dollars spent each year on government projects".

Who the hell do these people think they're kidding?

WHERE was this kind of concern from the Republicans about "billions of taxpayer dollars" between the years 2001 and early 2009, when they had the White House and for most of that time control of the House and Senate?

George W. Bush and his allies misspent more money from the public treasury than any other presidential administration in modern American history. Thus far the fiscal practices of Barack Obama have not been intrinsically different or substantially more wasteful than those of his predecessor. And it could be readily argued that Bush and his Republican colleagues certainly paved the way for whatever Obama will be doing for the next three or seven years.

The Republicans may complain about Obama's reckless abandon... but it was certainly the modern GOP that showed Obama and the Democrat party how to do it big and bold and without apology.

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The Harry Tuttle action figure!

Good Lord... I would love for this thing to be mass-produced and sold somehow!

There's a dude calling himself Sillof who excels at creating custom action figures, making replicas of movie props and all kinds of other uber-kewl stuff. Sillof has already achieved fame with his "steampunk" inspired renditions of characters from the Star Wars saga.

But check this out: Sillof has made an action figure of Archibald "Harry" Tuttle!

Every detail of the renegade terrorist heating and air-conditioning repairman that Robert De Niro played in Terry Gilliam's movie Brazil has been reproduced: right down to the pistol and ventilation maintenance tools.

Well done Sillof! And I can't think of a toy that more reflects what our society is becoming... or one screaming more to be made than this one.

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Mathematicians model zombie attack and survival odds

"Hit hard and hit often." That's the conclusion reached by a group of Canadian mathematicians who have produced a model of epidemic rates of a hypothetical zombie attack and how one might be survived.

According to the researchers, an infestation in a city of 500,000 people would find the living outnumbered by the undead within three days. However, a strategy of "impulsive eradication" adopted early enough would be adequate to deal with the crisis.

It is good to know such things, yes?

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THE BALLAD OF G.I. JOE

Thanks to Phillip Arthur for finding this. And I have not seen the new G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra movie but I have heard that "The Ballad of G.I. Joe" is gads better than that... film. Here it is, starring a lot of famous faces!

And in case you're wondering who's who, here's the cast list:

Laz Alonso as Doc, Alexis Bledel as Lady Jaye, Billy Crudup as Zartan, Zach Galifianakis as Snow Job, Tony Hale as Dr. Mindbender, Frankie Kang as Storm Shadow, Geoff Mann as Buzzer, Andreas Owald as Snake Eyes, Daniel Strange as Torch, Kevin Umbricht as Ripper, Vinnie Jones as Destro, Joey Kern as Tomax, Joey Kern as Xamot, Chuck Liddell as Gung Ho, Julianne Moore as Scarlett, Henry Rollins as Duke, Alan Tudyk as Shipwreck, Olivia Wilde as The Baroness, Jamin Fite as Cobra Commander, Sgt. Slaughter as Himself

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I honestly don't know what to say about DISTRICT 9

I just came back from a midnight premiere showing in Greensboro. And I want to start pouring out words like mad about how wog-boggled I am over how insanely excellent this movie is!

But then I remember how it was that I went into seeing District 9, the first feature film to be directed by Neill Blomkamp (it's also produced by Peter Jackson).

The first I ever heard about District 9 it was about two weeks ago, when the first word of mouth started trickling around the blogosphere about how this might turn out to be the best movie of the summer. I only really caught "aliens in South Africa" and how it was inspired by the history of apartheid in that country. And that's been it. Up 'til tonight I had seen not one television spot for District 9 or seen any trailers for this movie. Other than catching a look at the official posters here and there, I entered the theater to see District 9 as cold as a person could possibly be.

And that's how I want you, dear reader, to see it also. Without knowing what to expect at all, or at least knowing as little as possible. There are too few good things in life that catch us unawares and leave us... how do I put this?

Haunted? Enlightened? Enraptured?

I came out of watching District 9 all of those things and more. And I'm very much looking forward to seeing this movie again during the weekend, and possibly even once more after that.

District 9 is the most original science fiction movie that I've seen in a very long time. And let's just leave it at that. Absolutely worth checking out during its cinematic run!

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Today on this blog...

...I ain't got nothin'.

Why are you reading this anyway? Go out and play instead :-)

(More good stuff coming soon. Including, Lord willing, a movie review tomorrow.)

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Newly discovered pitcher plant eats rats!

Behold the Nepenthes attenboroughii: a pitcher plant found on the slopes of Mount Victoria in the central highlands of the Philippines.

First spotted by a group of Christian missionaries who were attempting to reach the summit of Mount Victoria in 2000, a team of botanists confirmed the existence of the plant, which has been named in honor of British broadcaster and naturalist Richard Attenborough.

Nepenthes attenboroughii boasts a monstrous-sized maw: big enough to drown and eat prey as big as a rat!

Read more about it here at the BBC's website.

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I'm beginning to seriously wonder...

...if the next American civil war might begin over, of all things, health care.

No, really.

I've openly mused on this blog before about what issue it would take for this country to begin tearing itself apart. Previously I thought it would be about illegal immigration (which is still a huge problem and one that very few elected officials seem inclined to address).

But now, having seen numerous videos coming from "town hall" meetings between members of Congress and their constituents, and seeing the very real disdain that too many politicians obviously have toward the people they have sworn an oath to serve...

No, I don't think this is "partisan" very much at all now. I do however believe that the disconnect which has been growing for many years between regular citizens and their elected representatives - during times in which both major parties have been "in power", it should be noted - is finally come to the point beyond mere "strained" and hurtling toward complete breaking.

I don't want the United States government managing my health care. As "Cash for Clunkers" has demonstrated, this government can't even run a used-car business. And that is a legitimate enough thing for anybody to be worried about. Most likely, a lot of people, And it's also quite probable that darn near as many will be honked-off enough to fight against it. By any means necessary, if push comes to shove. If for no other reason than because I like to believe the American people for the most part do not cotton to being dictated to by unaccountable bureaucrats in a far-off city.

For what little that it's worth... 'cuz hey, I'm just a guy with a blog... I'll simply note this: that if President Barack Obama continues pressing ahead with his "health care reform", nothing good will come of it for him.

And neither do I believe that this should be seen as a ripe "political opportunity" for the Republicans, either. This is something that must be opposed for the right reasons: on grounds that it is the scariest push toward socialism in living American memory.

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Warhammer 40,000 battle report: "Komedy of Errors" as Orks slaughter Chaos Space Marines!

Finally got to return to the friendly local game store after business the past two weeks kept me from indulging in one of my latest newfound pastimes: Warhammer 40,000. But in the interim I've been building up a new army. Ever since this past winter I've been playing Space Marines of the Ultramarines chapter (the ones that come in the Warhammer 40,000: Assault on Black Reach intro set). Lately though I've thought about changing things up a bit, and Space Marines of various stripes do tend to be the most popular faction anyway, what with every player seeming to possess at least one army of the Emperor of Mankind's most faithful servants.

So for the past few weeks I've been getting my first army of Orks ready for battle. And the timing was perfect, 'cuz as a personal rule I never field any model until I'm satisfied that it looks good. If my soldiers are going to fight and possibly die for me, then they merit enough respect for me to paint them like they deserve, right?

Anyhoo, today I threw my Orks into combat for the first time. Four players this afternoon at our table. There was me with a little less than 500 points worth of Orks...

And here's my Ork Warboss. I think he's unique/powerful/ugly enough to need a proper name: anyone have any suggestions?

Playing with me today was Tom, who brought along a gnarly collection of Tyranids (think of the Borg from Star Trek crossed with the Bugs from Starship Troopers). Normally Tyranids and Orks don't get along 'cuz Orks fight everything and Tyranids eat everything. But this game (as chosen by a roll of the die) was a "unit/points" thingy, where destroying anything considered a unit is 1 point and the side with the most points at the end winning. Let's just assume for today's battle that these are Tyranids cut off from the Hive mind that are maddened or the Orks are using in battle or something. Anyhoo, here's Tom...

And playing a whole bunch of Chaos Space Marines were Brandon and Joe. Joe is also Tom's kid brother, and it was evident from the start that he was out to "show up" Tom. This was also Brandon and Joe's very first time playing Warhammer 40,000, so naturally a lot of the adults were on hand to show them what to do/all the tricks etc.

But look in Brandon and Joe's eyes. Yup, two more poor unfortunate souls that have been ensnared by Warhammer 40,000. I saw them earlier oggling the Assault on Black Reach intro set, which is like the "gateway drug" for this hobby. Way too late for you now kids: you're in deep and the hole goes very far indeed...

Admittedly, the first few rounds did not go well for our side. Both squads of my Ork Boyz took light casualties at long distance from Chaos Space Marine fire and neither of the Big Shootas that I was armed with hit anything. I decided to push the Orks forward and engage at close range (which turned out to have been a very wise thing in the long run).

Meanwhile, Tom and Joe were having at each other in what must be the most hilarious thing that I have seen playing Warhammer 40,000 thus far. Joe brought forth his Chaos-possessed Dreadnought, which quickly lost what I call the "insanity roll" and went mad and plowed headlong toward Tom's swarm of Tyranid Termagants...

...and then the Termagants completely overwhelmed the Chaos Dreadnought!

The Chaos Space Marine Dreadnought was hopelessly engaged for the rest of the game fighting off the Termagants. And as you can see from the pic above, that freed my Nobz to press forward without having that to worry about.

The Ork offensive was well underway...

Soon afterward however, one squad of "da Boyz" engaged in close quarters combat with the Space Marines and were, to an Ork, wiped out. And in the next round my other squad of Boyz were completely killed off too after I had declared a Waaagh! (the one time that kamikaze-style tactics failed to carry this day). So in retaliation my Warboss took on a Chaos-claimed Rhino bare-handed. Well, if you count the power claw as being a hand too...

The results of that bit o' mayhem were one destroyed Rhino which blew up and no damage taken by the Warboss! It was the start of a great green tide that would soon wash over the landscape.

I must confess though: at this point I thought it was pretty hopeless 'cuz with both squads of Boyz gone, all I had were my Warboss and the Nobz. But as this was my first time playing Orks I had no idea just how strong the Nobz really were. First they utterly over-ran one squad of Chaos Space Marines and took their mad Waaagh! right to into Brandon and Joe's hapless faces...

I still can't believe I was rolling so many 5s and 6s during this murderous rampage.

So with the Nobz destroying two squads of Chaos Marines (and taking only one casualty among their own) the mighty Orks turned to the last two opposing unit left with any real fighting capability...

And a few minutes later, it was all over...

The cunning and beguiling forces of Chaos had fallen to the dumb and ugly Orks! Which, I guess in the higher scheme of the universe, means that this was ultimately a victory for Good. Orks aren't really evil: they're just that way by nature. Hey, J.R.R. Tolkien even said that his Orcs would not be eternally beyond redemption, so I like to think that the Orks in the Warhammer 40,000 universe have some positive inherent value too.

Or maybe I've just been spending too much time painting and detailing Orks lately :-P They're definitely my favorite army to play in this game for the time being, mainly 'cuz they're such a rich source of comedic value (even though their shooting abilities leave much to be desired).

Next week: the Orks are back and hopefully by then I'll have my Gretchins and Deffkoptas ready (and maybe even something a little "shokking" ;-)

EDIT 11:45 p.m. EST: I've come up with a name for my Ork Warboss. Think I'm gonna call him Kaneegutz! Which is sort of the Ork-ish corruption of my last name (and it sounds like "ka-neeguts" from Monty Python and the Holy Grail). And doesn't "Waaagh! Kaneegutz" sound like a great title for an Ork crusade? :-)

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Another cartoon from the twisted mind of Dave Lowe

Yech! But I mean that in a good way :-)

Find more of Dave's insanely genius (or is that geniusly insane?) humor at the website of his comic Para Abnormal!

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Ever watch this show MAD MEN on AMC?

It must be pretty new. I've never seen it before, but they're running a whole bunch of episodes today. I had the teevee on mostly for background noise whilst I work, but keep finding myself turning to watch the show.

Mad Men is uncommonly good. I may have to put the DVDs on my Netflix queue and catch up, or something.

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Classic SESAME STREET: Bert and Ernie's appliance war!

Dang, it's been a long time since this blog has seen any vintage Sesame Street sketches! Here's one that just got hosted on the official Sesame Street YouTube channel. From the very first season: Bert and Ernie do battle with dueling appliances!

This show certainly was darker and more violent in its early days. I doubt we'd ever see a sketch like this produced circa 2009.

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Sunday political commentary (suitable for any modern American Sunday)

I got asked to state my political beliefs today. So here they are...

I'm damned disgusted that too many Americans don't think for themselves with the minds that God gave them.

American politics is two cages of howler monkeys throwing handfuls of dung at each other. With the rest of us expected to choose between which dung is better than the rest.

Any other questions?

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"Now is the time for Helter Skelter."

"PIG" (left), written in blood on the door of Sharon Tate's home on August 9, 1969, and "Healter Skelter" (right) also written in blood on the refrigerator door of the LaBianca residence the following day

Forty years ago today, in the early morning hours of August 9th, 1969, what is still considered to be the most infamous and bizarre act of multiple murder in American history began.

Just after midnight Charles "Tex" Watson, Susan Atkins, Patricia Krenwinkel and Linda Kasabian climbed over the fence of 10050 Cielo Drive in Los Angeles and stealthily made their way to the house of movie director Roman Polanski.

Polanski himself was not at home. But his wife was: the stunningly beautiful and nearly nine months pregnant actress Sharon Tate. So were her friend and well-known hairstylist Jay Sebring, Sebring's girlfriend Abigail Folger (heiress to the coffee fortune) and Polanski's friend Wojciech Frykowski. Also present was 18-year old Steven Parent, visiting the house's caretaker and his friend William Garretson.

The bodies of Sharon Tate and Jay Sebring at 10050 Cielo Drive

Beginning with Parent, the four intruders confronted and then butchered everyone that they encountered at the house. William Garretson alone escaped the wholesale slaughter by remaining hidden and silent in the small cottage he lived in behind the main house.

Susan Atkins - who later admitted that she had wanted to tear Sharon Tate's unborn child out of her womb with a knife - wrote the word "PIG" in blood on the door of the house. She had been ordered to "leave a sign... something witchy".

And of the four, only Linda Kasabian refused to commit murder. It was Kasabian's conscience which would later come back to to testify in court and condemn the man who had sent the four on their mission of madness: Charles Milles Manson.

Charles Manson, leader of the Manson Family

The bodies were discovered later that morning by housekeeper Winifred Chapman as she arrived to work. A hysterical Chapman ran from the scene screaming "MURDER! MURDER! MURDER!"

But it was not to be the end. Later that night, Manson himself - determined to "show them how to do it" - led six members of his "Family" to 3301 Waverly Drive: the home of grocery store executive Leno LaBianca and his wife Rosemary. After entering the home and then confronting and tying up the couple, Manson returned to the car and told his followers to kill the LaBiancas. Again Linda Kasabian refused to take part, but her reticence was made up for by Leslie Van Houten.

The LaBiancas were stabbed dozens of times with a bayonet. Charles "Tex" Watson carved the word "WAR" on Leno's abdomen. And throughout the house, Patricia Krenwinkel dabbed a towel in the victims' blood and wrote the words "Rise" and "Death to pigs"... and on the refrigerator door, the words "Healter Skelter".

Admittedly, the Tate/LaBianca murders weren't the real beginning of Charles Manson's insane attempt to ignite his fantasy of Helter Skelter: a race war between blacks and whites which Manson envisioned from his twisted interpretation of the Bible and the Beatles (ironically, it was on the day before the Tate murders that the Beatles shot the famous photograph for the cover of their Abbey Road album). Manson and his disciples had killed music teacher Gary Hinman a few weeks earlier, also leaving the words "Political piggy" written in blood. But it was the serial slayings of August 9th and 10th which kicked off the horror in the minds of most people.

What happened afterward has variously been described as "the murder trial of the century", a masterful performance by the prosecution to bring those responsible to justice, and severe bungling on the part of numerous law enforcement agencies. The entire saga of the Manson Family murders was later chronicled by lead prosecutor Vincent Bugliosi in the bestselling true crime book of all time: Helter Skelter.

There are countless legitimate resources on the Internet about Charles Manson, his followers and their crimes. Many of the photos used in this retrospective were found on CrimeShots, which has a gallery of photographs (some of which are extremely graphic, so caution is advised) of the murder scenes.

And I cannot recommend enough reading Helter Skelter if you are at all interested in real life crime. Even forty years after the murders, there is nothing comparable in modern history that comes close to approaching the collective madness of Charles Manson and his cult.

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BIOSHOCK 2 marketing hits the beaches!

BioShock 2 may have been pushed back to next year but that's not keeping 2K's PR team from going to some extraordinary lengths of viral marketing for the much-anticipated game. This past week a mysterious note appeared on the game's teaser site listing numerous beaches around the world and a time to be there... which was yesterday morning.

This was the scene at Australia's Bondi Beach, where BioShock fans found dozens of wine bottles (from Arcadia itself) washed up on the shore. Within each bottle was one of several posters from Rapture, including this advertisement for Andrew Ryan Industries. Kotaku has photos of more discoveries. And wouldn't you know it, but the Rapture wine bottles are already fetching a pretty price on eBay.

BioShock 2 is due sometime next year. Hopefully sooner than later.

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Star Wars merchandise from Uncle Milton

What's happening to Star Wars merchandising lately? Is it just me, or has the brand's licensing gone wacky amid the absence of new movies in the series? A few months ago we were presented with the Darth Vader Toaster.

And now Uncle Milton - purveyor of such classic educational toys as the ant farm - is coming out with the Star Wars Mustafar Volcano Kit. Yes, your kids (or you yourself) can learn all about the physics of vulcanism while reliving the epic first duel between Obi-Wan Kenobi and the just-turned Sith Lord Darth Vader!

And then there's this lil' item: the Star Wars Dagobah Frog Habitat...

And when the frogs get bigger, you can feed them to Jabba the Hutt! :-P

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I'm having a damned hard time harboring any sympathy for people being abused by Obama's goons

And lemme tell you why.

Because as much as it does bother me to see those who have expressed outrage at President Obama's health care plans being labeled as an "angry mob" by officials and now being officially targeted by what can only be called Obama's own army of brownshirts...

...I have to remember that much the same thing was happening during the previous eight years during George W. Bush's tenure, what with "free speech zones" and loyalty oaths and people getting arrested for showing dissent... and sometimes arrested for no clear reason at all.

Hell, I was threatened with physical violence by one of Bush's thugs before he was President, just because I was a reporter with an independent newspaper (i.e. outside the grasp of Bush's control-freak nature).

I remember all too well telling Bush supporters what kind of a man he really was, and how the way he was treating American citizens wasn't the way that an elected official beholden to the people is supposed to be. Almost invariably I got that "empty glazed look" back in return. Like they didn't want to hear about it.

And now many of these very folks are getting much the same treatment from Barack Obama... and have no problem showing anger and indignation about it.

The only reaction I can muster is "Cry me a river."

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Playing HALF-LIFE... with REAL guns!

The techies at Waterloo Labs in Austin, Texas are putting "shooter" into the first-person shooter game... literally! Using accelerometers, a big sheet of drywall and computer triangulation, they've made it possible to play a FPS like Half-Life with actual firearms and other physical weapons!

Behold the carnage...

I'd love to play Doom like this, but knowing me I'd just wind up chainsawing the drywall to pieces not long into Episode 1 Mission 2 :-P

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G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA premieres in theaters today

I'm debating whether or not I want to see this movie.

So, I'm gonna do something that I can't recall ever doing with this blog before. If you've seen G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, feel free to post a comment with your thoughts about it and whether you recommend seeing it now or waiting to watch it when it comes out on DVD (or even never at all).

If there's enough good word about it, I'll try to catch it this weekend.

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"At around 72 hours I wanted to die."

A man in Great Britain spent 84 nonstop hours watching EVERY episode of the television sitcom Friends.

Steve Misiura, 31, did it in an attempt to win a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records. The current record is 72 hours.

Was it worth it?

He said he experienced nausea, stomach cramps and hallucinations while watching the adventures of Ross, Rachel and friends.

"I love 'Friends,' but this did indeed hurt. At around 72 hours I wanted to die," Misiura said.

"I started hallucinating," he said. "I was saying to my friend, 'What's happening to this room? The wall keeps disappearing.'

"I was also getting quite delirious and not knowing what I was doing, but it helped that every hour I was updating my photo log," he said.

I want to see my sister try to do this :-P

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Johnny Robertson: Wrong even WHEN he's right

I haven't felt led to comment much lately about the ongoing activities of local cult leader Johnny Robertson and his personal "Church of Christ" sect (which, I need to reiterate, is nothing like the real Churches of Christ that most people have respect for). For one thing, some have passed along the observation that Robertson and his followers seem to have slacked-off on their harassing of innocent people. Maybe the cultists are finally starting to straighten up and behave themselves.

I will note that a number of people have informed me that Robertson apparently made some allusion to me during his What Does the Bible Say? broadcast - or as I call it "The Martinsville Taliban Show" - last Thursday night. Something about how I was waiting to shoot him in the street. Which is a lie and patent nonsense. I will however open fire if he ever shows up at my home and I will recommend that others give him the same dire warning, because who in their right mind wants a dangerous psychopath/pathological liar who stalks women, attempts to disrupt worship services in other congregations and levels baseless accusations of child pornography against churches showing up on their doorstep? Quite a number of folks have told me during recent weeks that they will certainly do likewise if Robertson tries to start trouble at their homes. But I digress. That's not what this post is about...

I happened to catch Robertson's broadcast tonight, and as has become the usual custom some of us had fun with a "running commentary" during the show on Facebook. Among the usual nuttiness, Robertson compared this area to Sodom and Gomorrah, and then boasted that if he were to "take it to the next level" that he would certainly be arrested (to which one poor sap called in to tell Robertson that he needs to raise "an army"). And at the moment Robertson's son Micah - is that really his son? Micah only refers to Johnny Robertson as his "brother" - is saying that Jesus Christ is NOT the same "yesterday, today and forever" (somebody show this kid Hebrews 13:8).

But now folks, I am going to do something that will no doubt positively astound everyone who has followed this blog's chronicling of Johnny Robertson and his evil cult. For the first time ever, and I am absolutely confident in saying this: tonight, I would have to say that Johnny Robertson is ALMOST correct about something!

In fact, were it not for one minor detail, I would even be man enough to admit that Robertson is perfectly in the right.

And yet, even on this, Robertson is still missing the mark bigtime.

Tonight Robertson was ranting against Jesse Duplantis, and I've heard he's been doing this for the past few weeks. A few things I have to comment about here: I do believe that miracles still happen today (something that Robertson claims is impossible). I do not believe that a real miracle is something that any sincere follower of Christ can call on God to deliver according to our own will, however.

And there has never been a miracle of God that has served to glorify anybody but God, and God alone. I've been following up on people like Benny Hinn and Jesse Duplantis for a long time, and in my opinion they are nothing but hucksters and shysters who are not far removed at all from Simon Magus: wanting to purchase with money the power of God.

For calling out Jesse Duplantis for what he obviously is, Robertson would otherwise be - I have to admit - right.

Here's where it all goes utterly, irredeemably wrong for Johnny Robertson and his followers, however. And this is the real point and purpose of this post...

However right they might be about Jesse Duplantis and anyone else in the "name it/claim it" racket, Robertson and his disciples are not motivated by the truth of Christ and earnest love of that truth and others.

Their motivation is, instead... pure hate.

That has been the motive for everything that Robertson and his cult have done.

That is but one reason why God can not and will not bless their efforts. They worship their own understanding instead of worshiping Christ for His sake. And that dark absence of Christ, His truth and His love, bears itself out in Robertson's current pursuit of Jesse Duplantis.

Robertson shouldn't even be obsessed with people like this anyway. For all the airtime that the cult buys and for even calling their shows "What Does the Bible Say?" and "A Word from the Lord", the local "Church of Christ in Name Only" does nothing to preach Christ! They don't even seem to have any real doctrine to call their own! All they possess is "we hate churches that aren't like us" and "the words 'Church of Christ' make us special, damn you to Hell!"

There is a lesson here, I believe, for any who profess to follow Christ. Because Christ and all that He is must be our sole motive for everything that we dare to do in His name.

And hatred, of any kind, has nothing to do with the name of Christ. We don't have that right. It's not given to us.

I learned a long time ago, through hard experience: if anything is done, however pure and noble it might appear or be intended to be, but with the wrong motivation, then the entire work becomes corrupted and impure. And in the end it will self-destruct.

There are people who are seeking Christ for the right reasons. When they see antics like those of Johnny Robertson - and they do realize that his motive is hatred and not love of God - then that not only drives those people away from whatever mad doctrine Robertson and his cult are preaching, but it may well drive a lot of them away from Christ entirely.

(And at this moment Micah Robertson and Mark McMinnis are spouting unbridled hatred about everyone who worships in a Baptist or Methodist church. These guys just keep proving my point.)

This is not what God has called us to do. This is not how we show Christ to the world around us that is dying without Him!

We can be as "right" as we think we can possibly be. But without Christ and His honor and glory being what drives our purpose, without the sincere love that we are called to have in our lives...

"...I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal."

-- 1st Corinthians 13:1

But then, this is no doubt all for naught. I have also learned through experience that you can never convince a hyper-legalist that we can not merit salvation or the love of Christ on our own. So it is with Robertson and his cult: bound and determined, as Jesus said in Matthew 23:15, to "travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are."

But hey, can't say that I didn't try :-)

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Bruno Kammerl and the world's scariest waterslide

Wet 'n Wild Emerald Pointe ain't got nothin' on Bruno Kammerl and what has to be the biggest waterslide in the history of anything...

Props to Matt Mittan for finding this!

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John Hughes has passed away

John Hughes - who wrote or directed and quite often both some of the greatest comedy movies of the past few decades including Home Alone, Sixteen Candles, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Breakfast Club, National Lampoon's Vacation, Planes, Trains and Automobiles and a bunch more, has passed away at the age of 59.

Thoughts and prayers going out to the family of this most talented filmmaker who made us laugh and think.

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Get your geek going at Sci-Fi Genre!

Nestled away on a tree-lined side street in Durham, North Carolina is one of the most rollickin' fun discoveries that I have made in recent months. And if you didn't know that it was there or were searching it out already, you could easily overlook it. But that seems to be such with so many good things in life, like a hole-in-the-wall restaurant or small bookstore.

I first heard about Sci-Fi Genre late this past fall, mostly by word-of-mouth over the Internet. At the time I was getting back into playing BattleTech and was looking for someplace nearby that sold more of the miniatures. And more than a few times, Sci-Fi Genre kept coming up as a place that I should check out. So one Saturday afternoon I headed out east on I-40 and started seeking out this joint.

I have to admit: my first glimpse of the place was a little underwhelming. Until the moment that I walked through the front door. In terms of geology, Sci-Fi Genre is like a geode: appearing like one stone among countless others on the outside... but within, a stunning myriad of color and wonder and delight for the eyes and mind!

For pure geekdom, I don't know of any place in the area that possesses it more than Sci-Fi Genre. This hub of the fantastic has EVERYTHING! A huge selection of comic books and graphic novels (both current and back issues) including trade paperbacks. And as you can see from this next photo, they stock an absolutely unconscionably massive supply of games: from children's games on up to practically every conceivable Dungeons & Dragons book and module and dice set, and enough miniature wargaming supplies to lay siege to North Africa a dozen times over. Of course, being a BattleTech player and now a newly-minted Warhammer 40,000 gamer, I've had loads of fun perusing Sci-Fi Genre for new cannon fodder and materiel :-)

The store also has a fairly good-sized gaming area where players can congregate and hash things out like men (and more than a few women... no chauvinists we!).

But personally, for me the biggest thrill of going to Sci-Fi Genre (whenever I get the chance to be around Durham and sometimes I'm determined to find a chance to be there :-P) is oggling the crazy amount of action figures, toys and other geeky memorabilia. The last time I was there I wound up buying a G.I. Joe Hall of Heroes edition Zartan action figure. Why? Mostly for old times sake since Zartan was my favorite figure of the G.I. Joe line back in the Eighties. And also 'cuz I wanted to remember Zartan for the way he used to be, before the G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra movie comes out tomorrow and possibly trashes those good memories ('tis the dismal tide of our times, it seems...).

Of course, Sci-Fi Genre having so many Star Wars action figures couldn't possibly be a reason why I keep coming back to the place, right? ;-)

They also stock action figures related to comic books, video games, movies and TV shows like the new and old Battlestar Galactica and Star Trek (both old-school and the new 2009 relaunch stuff), and a wide assortment of the various Transformers lines.

And if by some cosmically incomprehensible reason they don't have what you're looking for on hand, Sci-Fi Genre's knowledgeable and extremely friendly management and sales staff will be glad to order it for you!

Sci-Fi Genre is located at 3215 Old Chapel Hill Road in Durham, North Carolina. If you're coming in from I-40, it's about ten minutes' drive time from Exit 270 (and sometimes less depending on traffic). Well worth checking out and if you go, you will most certainly be coming back plenty more!

And tell 'em that you read about them on The Knight Shift :-)

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Rupert Murdoch to demand pay for ALL News Corp online content

Rupert Murdoch - who I will always think of as "the billionaire tyrant" from that episode of The Simpsons he did a cameo on - has pledged to begin charging for access to ALL of the content on websites run by his News Corp. That includes the websites for the Fox Network, FoxNews.com and others (perhaps even MySpace?).

Apparently the move is to recoup from more than $200 million in lost revenue for News Corp during the previous quarter, including significantly less profit from The Wall Street Journal, which Murdoch now owns.

This might become the biggest blunder yet in the newspaper industry's series of attempts to regain the ground it's lost to online media. That horse departed the barn about fifteen years ago, and it ain't coming back. The New York Times has already tried charging for access to its site: a plan that promptly went down in flames. Murdoch's scheme will likely meet a similar fate.

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Russia drilling for oil off Florida coast?

"In Russia we drink YOUR milkshake comrade!"

That's the speculation from Investor's Business Daily. In recent days it has come to light that two Russian submarines have been found patrolling off the American coast. And now Russia is signing contracts with Cuba to develop the oil and natural gas fields in the Atlantic Ocean and the Gulf of Mexico... which have thus far gone untapped by United States-based industry because of legislation stifling such drilling.

It kinda boggles my mind that distant Russia would be going after petroleum reserves just a few hundred miles away from here. Anyway, it's an intriguing enough read to bring to y'all's attention.

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THE BIRDS Barbie Doll

For $29.99 you too can own Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds Barbie Collector's Doll! Complete with Fifties-style attire and homicidal feathered fiends.

Gotta wonder what's next. Psycho Barbie perhaps? It could come with no clothes and multiple stab wounds!

(Thanks to Lee Shelton for the great find.)

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"This country deserves a better class of criminal..."

"...and I'm going to give it to them."

Right now the Intertubes are burning up with heated controversy about this poster appearing around Los Angeles depicting President Barack Obama in Joker-style makeup as Heath Ledger portrayed Batman's nemesis in last year's The Dark Knight.

What particularly makes me chuckle are remarks made by Los Angeles Urban Policy Roundtable (whatever the hell that is) president Earl Ofari Hutchinson: "Depicting the president as demonic and a socialist goes beyond political spoofery. It is mean-spirited and dangerous. We have issued a public challenge to the person or group that put up the poster to come forth and publicly tell why they have used this offensive depiction to ridicule President Obama."

So let me get this straight: it's now considered a dire offense, if not an outright sin, to criticize Obama?

I don't think this is "mean-spirited" at all. Most longtime readers of this blog know that I have used my own meager Photoshop skills to mock public officials - of all partisan stripes, mind ya - whenever I've felt they deserved such. Heck, for awhile this place was practically wall-to-wall Ron Price visual jabs. And it's safe to say that I did more than my share of slamming George W. Bush (Worst President Ever(tm), thus far anyway) when he was in the White House.

But "mean-spirited"? Honestly... and I don't care if people disagree with me on this one... not at all.

I like to think that the stuff I did, and what this "Obama as the Joker" obviously is, stems from a legitimate disagreement and even frustration with the official policies of these people. Sometimes that frustration is more than mere words are enough to convey. And when that happens, the time-honored tradition of protesting via imagery comes into play. So long as it's not completely tasteless - and I don't see how this particular image is that at all - then I don't see what the problem is. Obama wanted to be President of the United States. He and his supporters should have realized fully well what they were getting into, if he desired to be such a high public official.

And besides, it's not like Bush the Lesser received any different treatment from his detractors.

Or maybe the plain truth of the matter is, whether we want to admit it or not, that this really is a country run by a pack of jokers.

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