I can no longer afford, at the present time, to maintain it as actively as I would like.
Long story short; my personal life has become a shamble.
I have hurt a lot of people. Including those closest to me.
I was so busy fighting the big battles, that I neglected to fight the ones that matter most.
I became so engaged in trying to serve God, that I forgot how to seek God.
It has cost me more than I have every lost in my life.
I am now in a very dark place. The darkest that I have ever been in.
I can't run from that.
I can't go into another room and pretend that it is not there. I must own up to it.
I have destroyed a lot of peoples belief and trust in me. And I would do anything to get it back. I don't know if that is possible.
The only thing that I know to do, all that is left to me, is to come before God as a broken and humilated man, ask Him for mercy and grace, and pray that He will guide in rebuilding my life.
Perhaps in time, the restoration that I have literally begged for will come. And if not, then I must pray for strength to move forward. According to His will, what ever that may be.
To those I have hurt; I am sorry. This was my fault. I was not as strong as I should have been. I can't ask for your forgiveness this time. I have to earn it. I like to believe that already God has shown me the away to begin doing that.
No matter what happens, I will still love you all.
To everyone who has visited this blog over the past five years; Thank You. I hope that your time here was entertaining, edifying, and maybe even educational. Maybe someday we can do this again.
God Bless, and Farewell.