Do-It-Yourself Butt-Numb-A-Thon! When you absolutely positively can't get to Austin...

My eyes, ears and brains are frazzled after this weekend... but in a good way!

Some readers will remember five years ago, when I attended Butt-Numb-A-Thon 9 in Austin, Texas. What the heck is a "Butt-Numb-A-Thon"? It's an annual 24-hour long "film festival" in Austin, Texas, hosted by founder/grand poobah of AintItCool.com Harry Knowles. A full day of movies (some vintage, some new) and all kinds of ingenius insanity interspersed throughout! Definitely something that one would be grateful to experience even once in a lifetime. Five years later and I'm still very fond of the memories of Butt-Numb-A-Thon. As well as still haunted and horrified by Feels So Good and Farewell Uncle Tom, but I digress...

Anyhoo, Kristen and I applied for this year's Butt-Numb-A-Thon, and we each made a video for the optional "extra credit". We were quite proud of our respective applications... but Alas! We didn't get in. But with about 10,000+ people competing for around 200 seats, that's understandable. We're gonna keep applying until one day, hopefully, we make the cut and can go to BNAT together. Butt-Numb-A-Thon 14 wrapped up Sunday afternoon and word from the lucky ones is that it was one of the best programmed ever.

But shortly after the attendee list was posted, Kristen and I came up with an idea: "If we didn't get to attend Butt-Numb-A-Thon in Austin, let's make our own Butt-Numb-A-Thon experience at home!"

So it was that Do-It-Yourself Butt-Numb-A-Thon was born. And that's how we spent the weekend and it was a BLAST!!

The objective: recreate the wild variety of films shown at a typical Butt-Numb-A-Thon, with surprises for everyone participating. Along with the traditions, the food, the humor, as much as would be humanly possible with a "play at home" BNAT. No one would know what all of the actual movies we would be watching were, 'cuz if we did that would defeat the purpose of DIYBNAT, right? Right.

So here's how it worked: there would be 12 films altogether that we would watch. Kristen would pick 6 and I would pick 6. Each of us would choose movies that we were certain the other person had not seen but just in case, we each had "alternates" on hand. On Friday night we flipped a coin and Kristen won: she chose to go first when we began on Saturday morning, and then I would show mine. The other person wouldn't know what he/she was about to watch until the person presenting it gave it a proper introduction before setting the DVD/Blu-ray/Roku playing. It would alternate like this until we had gone through all 12 movies.

Could we pull it off?! Dare we attempt so crazy a plan?? Well Kristen is not just beautiful and sweet but she is intensely geeky... and I'm as borderline as they come. It was worth trying at least once and if this past weekend was any indication it might become a regular tradition :-)

We began at 11 a.m. Eastern Time. And it would not have been a proper Butt-Numb-A-Thon anything without first kicking it off with that hallowed BNAT tradition: the trailer for Stunt Rock...

Then we went straight to Kristen's pick for Do-It-Yourself Butt-Numb-A-Thon's opening film:

Sesame Street Presents Follow That Bird (1985)

I was genuinely surprised at how much I enjoyed this film. It's as sweet and thoughtful and wrought with humor as any with the Muppets (incidentally this was the last Muppet movie that Jim Henson worked on before his death). But I also couldn't help but think while watching it that Follow That Bird is a movie that could not and would not be produced today.

The reason for that is the foundation of the plot: that Big Bird is found by a social worker who sends him away from Sesame Street so that he can be with his "own kind" in a town in Illinois. Big Bird finds these dodos (literally) no fun at all so he flees his bureaucrat-imposed new family and strikes out for Sesame Street. Now think about it: would modern-day Sesame Street make social workers out to be the bad guys? Pretty doubtful. I'm trying not to be "political" at all with that assessment but, there it is. That retroactive anachronism along with this movie being released just before Snuffy's long-awaited "reveal" to the adults of Sesame Street makes Follow That Bird something of a time capsule of the way things used to be on this classic show, and could be again. Seeing the gang take off in various wacky vehicles to find Big Bird is fun to behold, especially the sight of Bert and Ernie (with Ernie at the controls) flying across America in a biplane. Now if that doesn't scare ya, I don't know what will. A delightful movie with a good plot and cameo appearances by everyone from Waylon Jennings to John Candy. And a fun way to kick off our personal Butt-Numb-A-Thon!

Then it was my turn, and for my first entry I chose...

Ma and Pa Kettle (1949)

Actually a sequel to The Egg and I. Marjorie Main and Percy Kilbride were such a riot in that movie as Ma and Pa Kettle that Universal realized they had a hot thing on their hands and made nine more films featuring the Kettle clan! 1949's Ma an Pa Kettle brings the outrageously raucous family out of their ramshackle farmhouse and into a "house of the future" after Pa wins a slogan contest. There is a real story here, but most of the fun is in witnessing Ma and Pa and their fifteen children running amok trying to make sense of the technology in their new digs. It's hillbilly hijinks of the highest form! And like all classic comedy the Ma and Pa Kettle series has not only withstood the test of time, it seems more timely than ever. Lots of laughing during this one.

Next up was...

Au Revoir Les Enfants (1987)

Louis Malle's 1987 film - based upon his own experiences - about a student in a Carmelite boarding school during the Vichy Regime of occupied France. When three new boys are brought to the school, Julien (Gaspard Manesse) teases and bullies them along with his classmates. And then Julien discovers that Jean Bonnet (Raphaël Fejtö) is secretly a Jew, along with the two others boys, being harbored by the compassionate priests of the school.

Before DIYBNAT I thought that apart from The Day the Clown Cried I must have seen every movie ever made about the Holocaust. Apparently not. Au Revoir Les Enfants is a poignant tale of childhood innocence amid senseless hate in a time of war. A movie about the Holocaust should leave you feeling either (A) unimaginably saddened or (B) pissed-off with anger. This movie left me feeling both. We don't see the horror of the concentration camps but somehow, watching children suffering for nothing more than their religion roils the emotions like very little else can. A very powerful film and to me, a genuine discovery of foreign cinema at its finest.

About six hours into DIYBNAT, more or less. Time to unleash...

The Long Ships (1963)

Richard Widmark, Sidney Poitier, and a shockingly lithe Russ Tamblyn in a tale of pre-Christian Vikings, Muslim Moors, berseker orgies, grand theft funeral boat, alcohol, the gnarliest execution device ever depicted in a motion picture... and one big-ass bell!

The Long Ships is hammy fun from the golden age of epic filmmaking. Richard Widmark is the Viking adventurer Rolfe, who claims to know the location of "The Mother of Voices": a bell "as tall as three tall men" made of pure gold. Never mind that such a thing defies all known physics (the weight of all that gold would make the thing collapse beneath its own weight). Anyway, Moorish sultan Aly Mansuh (Sidney Poitier) is obsessed with finding the bell, believing that such a thing made by infidel Christians from gold pillaged in the Crusades should by all rights be in Islamic hands. Rolfe escapes Mansuh and makes his way back to his Nordic homeland so as to raise a crew to find the bell, only to learn that his shipwright father has been conned by the king. Hey, no problem: let's just steal the ship dear ol' Dad made for King Harald's eventual Viking funeral! Of course, Rolfe and company wind up on the Barbary coast and back in the hands of Aly Mansuh.

Two things that everyone who's seen this movie seem to always remember about it: the Mother of Voices itself, and the "Mare of Steel" aka "the playground slide from Hell". Imagine a childrens' sliding board, except instead of the board it's a 20-foot long curving razor blade in the shape of a horse's tail. Now imagine some shlub getting forced to slide down that thing belly-first. Oh yeah and for good measure there's a pad of foot-high steel spikes down below. Rolfe doesn't seem impressed, until Mansuh demonstrates both device and Moorish obedience by having his wife pick one of his own soldiers to "ride the Mare of Steel". The look of terror in that poor dude's eyes when the wife says "Do you believe in Allah? Go then" makes up for the visual lack of an eviscerated corpse... but hey, this was the early Sixties after all. Just let your imagination make up for it. Yeah, it's not the quality of El Cid or The Vikings, but The Long Ships seems determined to be more of a "popcorn movie" than anything else. Widmark pulls off a dashing and at times dastardly Rolfe, but the real neat thing to watch is Poitier as the sadistic Aly Mansuh. It's kinda unsettling to see Poitier take a stab at villainy, but he's amazingly good at it... in spite of the general hokiness around him. Would love to have this movie on Blu-ray someday.

Then it was Kristen's turn again. And believe it or not, until this past weekend I had never before seen...

Three Amigos (1986)

I'm probably the only person on Earth who had yet to see Three Amigos, so I'm not gonna write too much about it. Retro-actively it's like The Artist meets Zorro meets Galaxy Quest. Or something. I dug it :-)

Awright, it was my turn to show a movie next. And I didn't do this to be cruel to my girlfriend. Honest. Really...

The Black Hole (1979)

Kristen's terse reaction after watching The Black Hole spoke volumes: "I can't believe that was supposed to be a children's movie." She hadn't been born when Disney released this movie in 1979, but I remember it well: the TV commercials, the trading cards, the action figures, the illustrated storybooks and "read-along" book and record sets in the kiddie section of the bookstore... I didn't see The Black Hole until some years later and all that time I thought it was a science-fiction film for children.

Then I watched it.

Good Lord...

What the hell was Disney thinking? No wonder this is the studio's only motion picture known to have sent children into counseling and therapy. The Black Hole is the cinematic equivalent of a gingerbread house: using the sweet seductive candy of cute robots and ray guns to lure unsuspecting youngsters into a dark spiraling tale of obsession, slavery, metaphysical and theological insanity, and gruesome murder. Maximilian alone was more than enough to arouse the shivers in even adult viewers. And then to propel the viewers into a vision of Hell itself...

I would bet real money that during its theatrical run at least... at least... one parent at the film's conclusion raised a fist at the screen while crying out "Damn you Disney... DAMN YOU!!!"

Okay, it's a movie with problems. Lots and lots of problems on top of its misplaced priorities and sense of tact. But no matter those things, The Black Hole is always going to be a classic film curiosity. This was Disney's first-ever film not to be rated "G". Also one of the last to have an overture playing before the start of the movie. Disney came up with a system to track moving matte shots for the effects work. The U.S.S. Cygnus is arguably among the best-designed space-going vessels in movie history. The sinister Maximilian - a robot with surprisingly little limb articulation - remains a memorable nightmare of mechanical rage. And hey, there's that beautiful score that John Barry composed for the film!

But I think what most left an impression upon Kristen was the sight of Anthony Perkins - Norman Bates himself - being cuisineartted by those spinning blades on Maximilian's arms.

I say again: What the hell was Disney thinking?

Kristen had chosen the next movie well in advance. Curious, how this juxtaposed with the one preceding it. In retrospect, we needed it. Time to come back to Earth... even if it's the most brutally frigid place on the planet.

March of the Penguins (2005)

Too short. I wanted more. March of the Penguins is 80 minutes long... and I wanted more. The cinematography of this film is stunning. Never has so much white looked so gorgeous. This documentary about the year-long mating cycle of the Emperor Penguins touches upon a universal sense of love and nurturing that is hard to not empathize with. A story of species survival and yet, so very human.

Halfway through March of the Penguins, it occurred to me that filmmakers had to go onto that Antarctic ice shelf to shoot the footage. Thankfully, the camera and sound crew get their face time in the end credits... but if there's more about the making of March of the Penguins on the Blu-ray, I might have to pick it up just for that particular behind-the-scenes material.

Next up was something that I had intensely been looking forward to having Kristen watch...

Doctor Who: "The Deadly Assassin" (1976)

It's not a motion picture but since Harry Knowles chose to screen the Star Trek episode "The City on the Edge of Forever" at Butt-Numb-A-Thon 9, that was enough precedent for me. My girlfriend, as big a fan of Doctor Who as she is, had never seen a single episode of original Doctor Who! And I have been trying my darndest to convince her that the original series for all its low-budget frailties stands toe-to-toe with anything from the Eccleston/Tennant/Smith era. This far into Do-It-Yourself Butt-Numb-A-Thon, it was too late for her to back out now, muahahahaha!!

But that said, I'm rather proud of choosing to show her "The Deadly Assassin".

Considered by many to be one of the finest Doctor Who stories ever, "The Deadly Assassin" ran across four episodes in the fall of 1976. The Fourth Doctor (Tom Baker) has a premonition of the President of the Time Lords being assassinated. Returning to his home planet Gallifrey to prevent the murder, the President is nonetheless killed. The only person see firing a gun was the Doctor. With only hours left before execution for the crime, the Doctor announces that he will run for President.

And then, things go all crazy.

It's the only story of the original series to not have a companion, and that actually works to "The Deadly Assassin"'s advantage. Having the Doctor on his home turf of Gallifrey without a companion tagging along shows us what the Doctor is capable of when left to his own devices.  It also provides a full-bore, unadulterated look at Time Lord culture... and it's not necessarily a flattering one! But that's just a side-dish to the real treats of "The Deadly Assassin": the political intrigue that builds up to not one but two epic action sequences. One of which, the now-legendary "Matrix battle", is thought by many to be the VERY first use of the concept of virtual reality in science-fiction history.

Gallifrey, Time Lord politics and history, corruption, sly jabs at American government, the Master in classic deadly form, psychedelic combat, one of the most controversial episodes in BBC history, and Tom Baker as the Doctor... what more could anyone possibly ask for? The perfect story to introduce anyone to the mythos of the Doctor.

The girlfriend's turn again. Movie #9 was...

Pay It Forward (2000)

This movie makes me regret that I didn't go into teaching full-time, because having seen it I really want to be the kind of teacher that Kevin Spacey plays here.

Between seeing dead people and becoming an artificial boy, Haley Joel Osment portrayed Trevor: a middle-school kid who takes up his social studies teacher's challenge to "change the world for the better".

In general, Pay It Forward is a pretty good movie. I think it could have been stronger in the second third. But there's a real heartbreaker of an ending that makes up for whatever small faults this film has. Best to not say much else about it though, if any among this blog's readers haven't seen it. I did come away feeling as a better person for the time spent watching it.

Time to bring on the tenth movie of Do-It-Yourself Butt-Numb-A-Thon! What turned out to be the second foreign film of the weekend...

The Good, The Bad, The Weird (2008)

I first saw this at ActionFest in 2010 and when it came time to pick possible movies for DIYBNAT, this was the first to make the "short list". South Korean filmmaker Kim Ji-woon's spaghetti Western-ish The Good, The Bad, The Weird is high-octane, heavy ordnance action across the post Japanese-invaded Manchuria of the 1930s. A map purported to lead to a Qing Dyanasty treasure becomes the sought-after prize of an uphold-the-law bounty hunter, a vicious hitman and gun-for-hire, and a bumbling bandit. As well as the Imperial Japanese Army, numerous gangs and assorted black market scoundrels.

The Good, The Bad, The Weird boasts one of the ballsiest train robberies in the history of anything, crazy choreographed gun battles and a full-tilt wacko chase across the desert that easily rivals Indy's pursuit of the Nazi truck from Raiders of the Lost Ark. Rife with as much humor as action, The Good, The Bad, The Weird is the kind of film that deserves wider appreciation on this side of the Pacific pond. Kristen was certainly thrilled by it! That's when I knew that I had chosen well :-)

By this point we had clocked in about 21 hours of DIYBNAT. Unfortunately we wound up not going the full twelve movies, for various reasons (having done a real BNAT I can attest that it would have been much easier to be in a real movie theater a few thousand miles from home, without all the "real life" obligations demanding attention here and there). But we did wind up going out on a strong note all the same...

The Trouble with Harry (1955)

One of the few comedies that Alfred Hitchcock made. The Trouble with Harry is, as Kristen put it in her intro, "about a dead body that just can't stop moving". This black comedy has Edmund Gwenn, John Forsythe, Jerry Mathers (yup, the Beaver himself) and Shirley MacLaine (in her first film role) as some of the oddballs who variously come across the corpse of Harry Worp in the countryside of their Vermont village. You'd think that at least one of these people would have thought about notifying the proper authorities, huh? Their negligence to do so leads to dark humor of the kind that Hitchcock was known for but very rarely took to this wild an extreme. A really fun and crazy comedy about the foibles of human nature.

And that was our Do-It-Yourself Butt-Numb-A-Thon. The final film was set to be Avatar, but at three-plus hours long (it was gonna be the director's cut) and real world necessities had us stopping after eleven movies. Still, for one weekend that was a pretty hardcore slate of film variety!

And we had so much fun with it that we are already talking about making this an annual tradition! Perhaps next year inviting a few friends to come over to endure and enjoy 24 hours of films alongside. Would Kristen and I love to get into the real Butt-Numb-A-Thon together one of these years? Yeah, absolutely.

But nobody has to completely miss out on the fun of a BNAT, with a little planning and resolve to experience a wide assortment of movies. Especially movies that one might otherwise never consider giving a looksee.

So if come next November you find yourself downfaced because for whatever reason you didn't get into Butt-Numb-A-Thon (most of us have been there after all), chin up! Get some good friends together and run your own Butt-Numb-A-Thon! Consider it a way to demonstrate your love of film if you can't make the glorious pilgrimage itself :-)

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EVERYONE in U.S. under virtual surveillance by federal government (and why)

The government of the United States is not of the people, by the people and for the people. And it has not been for a very long time. Maybe not even in the memory of anyone alive today. We all know it. Unfortunately there seems to be damned little we can do about it. But having spent most of my life as a historian I also know that the established order can and eventually will be overthrown, no matter where or when. Either by outright revolt or crashing down under its own weight.

What is the "established order" controlling America? Steve McCann at American Thinker has a thorough understanding of it: an entrenched system of career politicians, sellout journalists whose lust for limelight eclipses love of truth, elitist academic types depending on the public treasury to justify their inflated sense of self-important, lobbyists and crony capitalists with a vested interest in making sure things stay the way they are, political hacks...

Corruption looks after itself.

That's why it should come as no surprise that according to a former top encryption analyst with the National Security Agency, the United States government - through the Federal Bureau of Investigation - is compiling the mother of all data mines: a vast repository containing EVERY e-mail, tweet, text message and God knows what else sent by American citizens. WITHOUT the Constitution-mandated search warrants for such a thing.

What surprises me however, is that if William Binney is telling is us true, then it represents a brazenness we haven't seen yet from our own government. It's been the understanding of many who have researched such things that for at least the past decade the National Security Agency has employed a system called ECHELON to monitor communications not just within America but throughout the world. Indeed, it's the international scope of ECHELON which has allowed the NSA to keep a listening ear on American at all: ECHELON keeps tabs on phone calls and electronic exchanges between the geographical United States and other countries... which, the government argues, does not require judge-approved warrants. A colossal using the letter of the law to defeat the spirit of the law. Not that that should be a surprise either...

But according to Mr. Binney, our government has taken it to a whole new level of abuse:

The FBI records the emails of nearly all US citizens, including members of congress, according to NSA whistleblower William Binney. In an interview with RT, he warned that the government can use this information against anyone.

Binney, one of the best mathematicians and code breakers in the history of the National Security Agency, resigned in 2001. He claimed he no longer wanted to be associated with alleged violations of the Constitution, such as how the FBI engages in widespread and pervasive surveillance through powerful devices called 'Naris.'

(snip)

"...what I’ve been basically saying for quite some time, is that the FBI has access to the data collected, which is basically the emails of virtually everybody in the country. And the FBI has access to it. All the congressional members are on the surveillance too, no one is excluded. They are all included. So, yes, this can happen to anyone. If they become a target for whatever reason – they are targeted by the government, the government can go in, or the FBI, or other agencies of the government, they can go into their database, pull all that data collected on them over the years, and we analyze it all. So, we have to actively analyze everything they’ve done for the last 10 years at least.

(snip)

"It’s everybody. The Naris device, if it takes in the entire line, so it takes in all the data. In fact they advertised they can process the lines at session rates, which means 10-gigabit lines. I forgot the name of the device (it’s not the Naris) – the other one does it at 10 gigabits. That’s why they're building Bluffdale [database facility], because they have to have more storage, because they can’t figure out what’s important, so they are just storing everything there. So, emails are going to be stored there in the future, but right now stored in different places around the country. But it is being collected – and the FBI has access to it."

A long read, but technically rich and altogether persuasive.

Why must our government believe it has to look upon We The People as potential enemies to be numbered, catalogued and monitored?

Because to those in power, the established order must be preserved at all cost. Because, again, corruption looks after itself.

Personally, I think Batman had the right idea...

Even the Caped Crusader "gets it" (click to enlarge)

Someday, perhaps this country will crash hard enough to knock the lechers and parasites off of their lofty perch. Perhaps then true leadership will come to serve the American people. There would be few better gestures of faith in the common citizen than to abolish the National Security Agency, reign-in the FBI and give the CIA a good hairy eyeball.

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"So... shall we begin?" STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS teaser is online!

I'm telling y'all here and now, that when Star Trek Into Darkness comes out in May... that for the first time in my life I will show up on its premiere night wearing a Starfleet costume. And I will wear the uniform proudly! I even have an idea for it but you good readers will have to just wait and see :-)

So what is it that would so motivate your friend and humble narrator to make such a drastic departure from his usual space saga haberdashery?

Boldly go and watch this teaser trailer! Do it NOW!!

Okay, I am going to place my bets now: that is Khan Noonien Singh who Benedict Cumberbatch is playing. And that's my final answer until we know for sure. Because whoever Cumberbatch's character is he is absurdly strong, agile and blessed with apparently superior intellect. Sound like a certain genetically-enhanced superman to me...

And the rest of the teaser ain't too shabby either :-)

Wanna see it even better? Set your phasers to "fun" and watch it in full high-def glorious Quicktime here!

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First official image from ENDER'S GAME

This is not a good sign...

That's Harrison Ford as Graff and Asa Butterfield as Ender, in the first official pic from the production of Ender's Game, based on Orson Scott Card's classic science-fiction novel.

For the record, I think Butterfield is a terrific and astounding young actor. The first time I saw him in anything it was in Hugo and he brought a spirit and sense of adventure to that film that I hadn't seen from a movie in an awful long time. The kid has a brilliant future ahead of him.

But looking at that pic, with his Ender getting stared-down by Graff... I can't but wonder if this film is being cast well at all.

It's like this: Ender should be smaller. And younger. Butterfield in this photo looks like he could be Ender Wiggin, but a few years down the line. At this point in his career, freshly arrived at the Battle School, Ender needs to be more prepubescent. And much more puny. One of the things about the novel that resonated most with me (and a lot of other readers) was that Ender is almost a primal force of nature contained within the body of a very small and very young boy. And then how the adults turn that boy into something to be used and exploited and ultimately employed as a weapon of mass destruction. Ender's Game is a very moving tale of innocence lost and that it's not just Ender but a bunch of children who likewise are being trained to fight the Formics no matter the personal cost... it makes the loss of innocence that much more a damning thing.

We need to see that in the eyes, in the stature of Ender. And I just can't see that here.

But, I've been wrong before. We'll find out next year.

(Though I do think that Ben Kingsley as Mazer Rackham was a severe stroke of genius casting :-)

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"Every one I know goes away in the end..."

Eleven months ago I posted this video following the death of my mother. It seemed like the song most reflective of the emotion that I was feeling.

In the past few weeks no less than five people who I had known for most of my life have also passed away. There are a few with us still, who are now being comforted in their final days.

Yesterday a friend for more than thirty years, a person I had known since kindergarten and came up through high school with, was taken from us.

I posted it on Facebook late last night, and some said that it was the perfect song for what a lot of longtime friends and family are going through right now. And since she was a huge fan of country music, it seemed all the more appropriate to use it here too, in her memory.



Michelle, we thank God for the time He gave us with you. We will always remember your bubbly personality, your beautiful smile, and your zest for life.

Until we all meet again...

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Assault on Woodbury! Mancave! TYREESE! Mid-season finale of THE WALKING DEAD is a blaze of gory!

JEEBUS CRIPES CRISPIES WITH MILK AND ONIONS!!

Andrea?! What the hell are you doing still hanging around Woodbury?!?

The last episode of AMC's The Walking Dead until Season 3 resumes in February was beyond mortal hyperbole. It aired yesterday evening but at the moment I'm still unable to catch it until either Monday mornings or evenings ('cuz that's how I'm currently able to "watch" it with Kristen). So just after 6 tonight we cued up together and I cranked up the DVR.

Good. Lord.

The very first moments of "Made to Suffer" finally brought to TV a character from the comic series that fans have been demanding almost since this show began: Tyreese! And I don't think it was at all coincidence that we got a fleeting glimpse of a certain other character in this episode: Tyreese is no doubt going to become the lieutenant and force of accountability that Rick needs and has always needed, whether he realizes it or not. Chad Coleman is gob-smogglingly bringing it as the pro football player-turned-zombie holocaust badass.

Chandler Riggs, as he has throughout this season, shows us again why he deserves at least a Best Supporting Actor nomination at this season's Emmy Awards for his portrayal of Carl.

For the sake of those who haven't seen "Made to Suffer" yet, I do not want to go too much into anything that happens with Rick and his group when they invade Woodbury to spring Glen and Maggie out of the Governor's stockade. Which Kristen has made an interesting observation: that the two main locations this season are the prison and Woodbury. Isn't it weird that the prison has come to symbolize life and freedom while Woodbury - the nice little town - is the embodiment of bondage and death? Now that's some curious irony if there ever was any.

That said, I am soooo not gonna discuss any at length what happened inside Woodbury during and following the rescue attempt. Except to say that if what we witnessed within the Governor's "mancave" is any indication, we should be EXTREMELY worried that AMC will have the balls to do worse come February.

(Ha-ha-ha, "very funny Chris", yes I should get me to a punnery...)

The Walking Dead is fast becoming maybe the best show of the last decade and a half. It's not about a zombie apocalypse: it's about human nature and what it becomes in the face of cataclysms large and small. There is no "black and white" in this series... but there are some pretty wild shades of gray. It's hard not to sympathize even a smidgeon with the Governor, and for all the good Rick has within him there is also a growing darker side coming out.

Just... wow. I'm reeling from this one, folks. Gonna have to watch it again to absorb it all. A very, very solid episode, and better television than we deserve. Thank goodness it's on basic cable.

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Is China home to most of the world's Christians?

There is an interesting article at the Catholic News Agency's website about the condition of religion in present-day China. Particularly, it presents notable evidence that China will soon have a larger Christian population than any other country.

But in reading this, I am compelled to wonder if the Chinese might already have most of the world's Christians. Maybe more than all other countries put together.

Could that be even possible?

From the article...

During a recent book launch in Rome, a noted theologian said that China will be home to the majority of the world's Christians within the next two decades.

“Interfaith dialogue is something that China, which will have the world's largest Christian population in 20 years, lives with every day,” said Harvey Cox during the presentation at the city's Jesuit Gregorian University.

Cox presented the book “Catholic Engagement with World Religions: A Comprehensive Study, in dialogue with its two editors” on Nov. 30 with Cardinal Karl Josef Becker, a German theologian of the Vatican's the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith.

The editors include Ilaria Morali of the Pontifical Council for Interreligious Dialogue, who also presented the book, and Cardinal Becker.

Cox, who teaches at the Harvard Divinity School in Massachusetts, said the new book “will play an invaluable role” in determining “where we've been in the past, where we are now, and where we're headed.”

“There are two world phenomena happening right now,” he added. “The first is that we can't recognize Christianity as a western religion anymore and the second is that countries with the fastest growing number of Christians don't have a Christian culture or traditions.”

Keep in mind that Cox and Becker are speaking from a Catholic perspective. It is perfectly understandable that they will be presenting their beliefs strictly as Catholics. And though I myself am not a Catholic, I find it intensely fascinating that China might soon have more Catholics than any other nation.

But in terms of Christianity in general... and in keeping with the author's discussion of religious discussion among a variety of viewpoints... I can't but believe that China is home to most of the world's Christians right now.

It has been well known for decades that there is a significant number of "underground churches", or "house churches", which harbor a vast amount of followers of Christ - belonging to no denomination and whose members likely wouldn't even care about denominationalism at all - existing throughout China. We don't know how many Christians in addition to practicing Catholics there might be in that land. There are some who suggest that the population of underground Christians might number in the hundreds of millions. All of whom worship Christ outside the knowledge of the government of communist China. Each practicing their faith in the full understanding that if found out, they risk persecution, imprisonment, and possibly worse. Many are enduring unspeakable hardships even now.

And yet, the body of Christ as counted across the width and breadth of all the followers of Christ, is not only persisting in China but thriving. With a vigor and enthusiasm and sincerity that dwarfs the Christianity... or perhaps "churchianity"... in the western world. Including the Christians of the United States.

What if such hardship and persecution has led to the community of Christians in China becoming far more vast than all of the Christians of America, Canada, Latin America, Europe and Africa... combined?

Yes. Today. This very moment.

And wouldn't it be something if within the lifetime of many reading this blog, that the United States will see an influx of missionaries coming to America from China and other Asian countries to preach Christ to us, rather than sending "our" missionaries abroad?

Because Christianity in the United States... and I can only write about America in this sense because it is the land which I observe every day... has deviated and devolved into something that is fixated more on the material than on matters eternal. We have become a spiritually stagnant people and the church in China, to be honest, puts the "God and Country" brand of our American Christianity to shame. We go into our brightly-lit and brazenly decorated houses of worship every Sunday, listen to "positive preaching" and come out none the worse for wear until the following Sunday, with little or no real encouragement or holding ourselves accountable to God. The believer in China must seek out dim and dark rooms to quietly pray and sing hymns in total silence. But I have spoken to a number of believers from that land, and not one of them has been anything but cheerful and exuberant about their faith in Christ. For them, to seek after Him is absolutely worth the dangers of being discovered by their own government.

And I can't help but wonder what could be if that same eagerness and optimism borne out of love of God and others would catch on at last in my own country.

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The first poster for STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS

Sometime in the 23rd century, it's gonna be a very bad day to be in London...

(click to embiggen at warp speed)

The figure looking across the blasted British landscape of the 23rd century is Benedict Cumberbatch's character. At this point I don't believe he's meant to be Gary Mitchell: the new ongoing Star Trek comic series overseen by J.J. Abrams' crew took care of the alternate reality's version of "Where No Man Has Gone Before" right out of the gate, and I heavily doubt they would ignore their own continuity like that by making Mitchell this movie's villain. But I don't think it's going to be Khan either. 2009's Star Trek was a wallop of one surprise after another: it remains the Blu-ray getting the most play at my house. And right now I'm so stoked about Star Trek Into Darkness that I don't care who the bad guy is going to be. This movie will rock and we all know it!

Speaking of Star Trek and things British, the girlfriend and I have seriously been digging the Star Trek: The Next Generation/Doctor Who: Assimilation2 limited series from comic publisher IDW. Yeah they went there: a crossover between Doctor Who and Star Trek. And curiously they work rather well together! Set after the Battle of Wolf 359, Assimilation2 has the Doctor, Amy and Rory landing aboard the Enterprise D just as the Federation is forced to deal once again with the Borg.... who have found a kindred spirit in their new allies the Cybermen. Lots of stuff here that'll appeal to TrekkiesTrekkers and Whovians alike. Hey, "the TARDIS on the Holodeck". What more needs to be said? :-)

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Michael Jackson's THRILLER was released 30 years ago today

Ignoring the obvious - that soon thereafter he began his downward spiral into cosmetic catastrophe and overall instability - it will forever be acknowledged that once upon a time, Michael Jackson was a musical genius. As well as a masterful performer on stage and in his music videos. It was not without reason that he was dubbed the "King of Pop". How long he maintained that title is debatable... but Jackson did earn it.

Thriller, Michael Jackson's masterpiece album, was released thirty years ago today, on November 30th 1982. It remains by a significant margin the best-selling music album in history.

So in honor of Thriller's thirtieth anniversary, here is a photo of the artist behind it. Along with two other celebrated figures from a far, far better era...

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U.S. Government spent $100,000 determining if Jesus died for the Klingons

Senator Tom Coburn from Oklahoma has been digging into the details of the federal budget. Among the things our government is spending our money upon: inventing roll-up beef jerky, the study of goldfish swimming patterns and an iPhone app for scheduling coffee breaks.

And then there's this: $100,000 of taxpayer money to look into the question of whether Jesus Christ died for the Klingon race. Yeah those ridge-headed alien warriors from the Star Trek franchise.

Incidentally, all of the above examples were found in the United States military's budget.

From the story by Heather Clark at Christian News Network...

An Oklahoma senator has released a report outlining what he believes is some of the Pentagon’s most wasteful spending. Among a number of odd items includes a workshop on how Christianity would be affected if aliens were proven to exist.

Senator Tom Coburn is known to be the “waste-watcher” on Capitol Hill, as he investigates unnecessary spending in various branches of the government. On Thursday, he issued what some consider to be a laughable list of Defense Department expenditures that have nothing to do with defense.

In addition to $1.5 billion being spent... was a workshop blending Christianity with the existence of aliens.

The event, entitled “Did Jesus Die for Klingons Too?,” focused on “the implications for Christianity if intelligent life were to be found on other planets.” According to the Global Post, actors such as LeVar Burton and Nichelle Nichols were present, and an “intergalactic gala celebration” was included, at which attendees were urged to don “starship cocktail attire.”

Klingons are are a group of aliens from the fictional sci-fi television and movie series Star Trek, which originated in 1966 and continues (at least in movie format) to present day. The series deals with a band of aliens and humans that seek to solve the problems of the universe, tackling topics such as imperialism, class warfare and racism. Some episodes are also said to have addressed sexism, feminism and religion.

And to think there are some who wonder why so many Americans lately want to secede from the federal government.

$100,000 to look into salvation for the Klingons. I don't care if it's only one dollar: that's our money which has been entrusted into the public treasury... and it is a sacred trust. Even a mere cent used on such a frivolous matter is inexcusable.

But just for humor's sake...

vaD joH'a' muSHa' qo'vetlh ghaH ngeHta'Daj neH puq vaj 'lv HartaH Daq ghaH dlchDaq yln reH

(Courtesy of MrKlingon.org)

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Georgia city hall has a moonshine still (and it's legal too!)

This honestly shouldn't have to be said again, 'cuz I've made enough fuss about it already. But even so...

Folks, I really, really can not help anyone to build, buy or otherwise acquire a moonshine still.

The hit TV series Moonshiners is in the midst of its second season and as last year, this blog is getting slammed with visits from good people looking for information about moonshining in general and about Popcorn Sutton in particular. I'm very honored that The Knight Shift has become such a popular resource for this aspect of Appalachian culture and the most famous practitioner of the art.

But, ummmmm... this sincerely is all that I can do at the moment, friends and neighbors. The moment that such information does become readily available, I'll not only post where you can buy stills but I'll publish blueprints and plans for them too! Hey, I wanna see how a thump keg works as much as anyone else, but right now my hands are tied.

Meanwhile in the mountains of Georgia, the craft continues. Albeit in a most curious location...

The Washington Post has a pretty wild story about moonshiners setting up shop in the town hall of Dawsonville, Georgia. Now lest anyone think that Dawsonville has gone bust and these guys are squatters spiting "the man", y'all should know that the 'shine is being brewed legally! Something of a joint venture between the distillers and the town, among other things to preserve the mythology of moonshine in this part of the country.

I really dig stories like this. But I'm also of a mind that this is a very astute move on the part of the Dawsonville town fathers. What with the way the nation's economy is going down the tubes and how local municipalities are financially struggling, it's encouraging to see a city manufacturing and selling a product with marketable value. Yup, when hyperinflation hits and a hamburger will cost $100 million, Dawsonville will have a serious item of barter on its hands :-)

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Worst. Timed. Commercial. Break. Ever.

Last night's The Walking Dead on AMC brought back the intensity after the past couple of weeks' relative calm (which was needed, after what happened to Lori). This series is consistently demonstrating why many consider it to be the finest show on television right now.

But that's not the point of this post. Instead I have to remark that what you're about to see is either gross negligence or brilliant marketing.

At the end of the next-to-last act of this week's episode "When the Dead Come Knocking" we find Rick and his team trapped in a cabin, nearly surrounded by ravenous walkers. To escape they have to throw a freshly-killed dude out the front door as a distraction. Rick and company flee through the back door while the walkers start munching.

That's the setup. That's all you need to know.

So watch the final few seconds of that act, then look at what AMC did with the commercial break!

Eeeeeewwwwwww...

Too bad KFC isn't using their "Finger Licking Good" slogan anymore, huh?

The accidental(?) scheduling of the ad has gotten lots of attention, including from folks who haven't seen The Walking Dead yet. So I'm wondering if there was method to the madness. If so: well played AMC, well played.

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Turkey Frying... IN COLOR!

Kristen's brother Scott Bradford was a witness to the turkey deep-frying on Thanksgiving two days ago. While maintaining a safe distance (and maybe more than that) he shot some terrific video of the action. Scott edited it together and now for your viewing pleasure y'all can watch the searing heat and tormentuous oil in all its glory!!

Scott also posted the video on his own blog, and he testifies to the exquisite and juicy taste that in a turkey can only be achieved by frying it.

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Larry Hagman, 1931-2012

In memory of Larry Hagman, who passed away yesterday at the age of 81, here is a classic scene from Dallas of his character J.R. Ewing - one of the most despised villains in television history- telling it like it is to on-again/off-again wife Sue Ellen:



In his memory, we should go out today, find a drunken woman, and slap her.

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2012 Thanksgiving: What I am thankful for

It's not Thanksgiving Day right now. It's the day after: often called "Black Friday". Which as some astute observers have noted, we spend one day being thankful for the things we have by spending the next day trampling all over and killing each other trying to get the things we don't have.

Admittedly, there are some things which I do not have at the moment, that I have been in constant prayer about. But I must also acknowledge that I have been far, far more blessed than I would have ever thought possible. During this past year and a half, this has honestly been the happiest that I have been during the course of my entire life. In fact, I feel like my real life is just now getting started...

...and I've a feeling that God might have plenty more good in store yet to come.

So in what I hope is going to be a continuing tradition of The Knight Shift, here is what I am thankful for this year...

I am thankful to finally have a female miniature dachshund puppy, who at times is a lot of aggravation but has still won my heart since the first moment I held her.

I am thankful to have come a long way in managing my bipolar disorder. It has taken the better part of a decade to arrive at this place. And I am exceedingly thankful that publicly chronicling my struggle with this illness has apparently become an encouragement to others. If even one person comes away stronger from reading about my having bipolar, then that alone makes writing about it worth it.

I am thankful for Dad, who has been a true encouragement for me during this past year.

I am thankful for friendships which have endured and for those friendships which have been made since last Thanksgiving.

I am thankful to be getting my creative mojo back. Something which had been missing for the past number of years, for a variety of reasons. I am now back to working on some video projects as well as something else, which Lord willing I will be able to announce sooner than later.

I am thankful to have read many more books in these last several months than I have read in a long, long time! I should finish A Dance with Dragons sometime next week, which will make me caught up finally on the entire Game of Thrones series (well that's what I'm calling it anyway...)

I am thankful to have traveled to Oregon this past June. To have driven through the Columbia River Gorge and to have stood a mile or so away from Mount St. Helens: truly one of the most humbling experiences of my entire life.

I am thankful for Doctor Who and The Walking Dead, which I enjoy watching with my girlfriend.

I am thankful for ballroom dancing, which I am getting better and better at (I can now do the cha-cha, the foxtrot and the swing in addition to rumba and waltz!)

I am thankful to have not gone to jail yet for having a perverse sense of humor.

I am thankful for root beer.

I am thankful for finally playing Diablo II, even though it only took me twelve years to get around to doing so.

I am thankful for this blog, which is about to hit nine years old. And that it seems to have gained even more regular readers and I will endeavor to keep them entertained, enlightened and generally enthralled for a long time still to come.

I am thankful that yes, there WILL be more Star Wars movies! I am thankful for knowing that I will get to take my children to see a new Star Wars trilogy. That Lord willing, I will get to see new Star Wars movies with their children. What a time to be alive.

I am thankful for second chances.

I am thankful for Kristen, who is a far better girlfriend than I could ever deserve to have. I had never thought that I could be this happy, but God certainly has when He put Kristen into my life. There is not a day that goes by that I don't thank Him for the honor of being her boyfriend... and there is not a day that goes by that I don't tell her that I thank God for her.

Most of all, I do thank God for all that He has done, and that I do now see how He has been working across my entire life. To my shame, I had doubted for awhile that He was listening to me, that He cared at all. Now, I know better.

There are more things that I could probably come up with, but those are some of the bigger ones. And Kristen, her parents and I are about to go see Skyfall, so I should wrap this up anyway.

And no doubt next year, there will be even greater things to be thankful for :-)

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Deep-fried turkey, Thanksgiving 2012 Edition

Another Thanksgiving has come... and with it, once again, another round of Yours Truly doin' up some deep-fried turkey!

This year's Thanksgiving was special, in a number of ways. For one, I'm spending it with Kristen and her family. For another, this marks my tenth anniversary of deep-frying turkey! So for those reasons and more, I wanted this one to be extra special.

Here's the turkey chosen to be sacrificed to the flames and the oil. I found one weighing-in at just under 15 pounds: the perfect mass to feed a gang of six! What you see here is the turkey on the spit ready to be fried, after spending thirty-three hours of being marinaded and rubbed down with Cajun seasoning.

In this next photo the oil is almost hot enough to lower the turkey in. The cooking temperature is 350 Fahrenheit. I heat it up to 375 though to begin with, because the temperature is going to drop precipitously when the turkey goes in. Of course, the bird has been patted down good and dry on the outside to keep nasty hot oil from spattering out. Looking at the pot with much interest and anticipation is Kristen's father...

Here we go, (not so) fast and (plenty) furious!! Kristen's brother Scott is shown taking photos, albeit from a considerably safe distance...

Awright, this next picture requires some explanation. The oil was in the pot and I had just turned on the burner when I realized to much horror... my thermometer was broken!!! The trusty instrument that had seen ten years and many, many fried turkeys had died. And at the WORST possible moment too!
No time to panic though. Not as one working with hazardous materials. Certainly not as an Eagle Scout. Kristen's mom and brother made a quick jaunt to Wal-Mart and found two thermometers, neither one of them built with deep-frying safety in mind but hey, ya gotta takes what ya can.

So here is me in what Kristen calls the "fisherman pose": lowering a candy thermometer into the oil with a wire coat hanger!

But, the new thermometer came through with flying colors. And 45 minutes later...

...the culinary masterpiece was ready to be admired for its beauty and its juicy, delicious flavor!

I'm always looking for new ways to improve my turkey-frying technique. There were a couple of tricks that I employed this time for both product quality and personal safety. With the exception of the thermometer emergency, the entire process was by far the smoothest and cleanest that I've ever had.

'Twas a most excellent Thanksgiving dinner! The turkey came out great, and there was the terrific desserts made by Kristen's mom and sister-in-law (Melissa makes the most potent chocolate cupcakes in the history of anything).

And now, I get to enjoy a few weeks' respite before doing this all over again for Christmas. For which I've already been threatened with getting chained to the burner until I make enough fried turkey for everyone who's been demanding it this past year :-P

Update 7:19 pm EST: D'oh!! I forgot to document the music that I chose to fry too! That's also an important part of the ritual.There were a number of albums which came to mind. I think up to a few weeks ago the obvious choice would have been the Game of Thrones Season 1 soundtrack. But then there came the big news of October 30th...

So in celebration of the imminent return we shall be making to that galaxy far, far away, I had Disc 2 of The Empire Strikes Back: Special Edtion playing from my iPod. Not just John Williams' finest composition for a Star Wars movie, but in my opinion the definitive Star Wars orchestral score album!

It was released in February of 1997. And in spite of being the most vintage album to be used during my rituals, it was spot-on perfect for the task. And just after telling friends that this would be the music of the hour, the news broke that Lawrence Kasdan will be returning to the gang and he's writing Episodes VIII and IX! Truly a good omen :-)

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Kristen's Love-ly haircut

I'm spending Thanksgiving with Kristen at her house, along with her family. And as all two of this blog's regular readers well know I go crazy with deep-frying turkey every year for this holiday (and usually Christmas also). That means starting about a day and a half before time to fry, getting the bird all juiced-up with marinade.

So yesterday afternoon, after the third round of injection and putting Cajun rub all over the turkey, I decided to take a little nap. Kristen had gone out to do "some errands" after work. I was still asleep when she returned.

She woke me up. And that's when I saw her shocking new hairdo...

She's never had it that short before! But it was all for a great cause: Locks of Love. It's a nonprofit group devoted to making hairpieces for children who have lost their natural hair due to disease, chemotherapy etc. So Kristen not only got a stylish new 'do, she is making some good kids really happy.

It's still gonna take me awhile to get used to it though... :-P

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Stop Christmas, I want to get off

Let's dispense with the floridity and get to the point:

The holiday season has been damn near ruined by commercial madness.

I'm hearing that some families are having their Thanksgiving gatherings destroyed by Wal-Mart and other retailers mandating their employees be working on Thursday morning. Yeah you read that right: a number of stores are opening at noon on Thanksgiving when everyone else will be gorging on turkey and watching football.

I got a bad vibe when stores like Wal-Mart and Target began putting the Christmas stuff out before Halloween. That's two full months of holiday marketing. One-sixth of the entire year devoted to holiday spending.

Now the radio stations are following suit. 99.5 out of Greensboro - which has traditionally not begun playing Christmas songs until the day after Thanksgiving - is already blaring out 24 hours round the clock of holiday music.

Gad-dommit, STOP IT ALREADY!! I'm bipolar dammit! It's already hard enough for me to slow down my mind. I don't need the year to go by any faster! Neither do most other people. But that's what is happening as a result of the extended holiday season: the year is going by faster. Too fast. The holidays should come at us bursting with joy, not creeping upon us like so much unstoppable kudzu.

I'm this close to just calling off Christmas entirely this year. Not only not giving presents but demanding that I don't receive presents either. This ain't what Christmas is meant to be about. It's supposed to be about family, friends, good times, being thankful for what God has blessed us with...

Did we not learn anything from all those years of A Charlie Brown Christmas?

This is going to be the first Christmas that I spend without my mother. A few friends during the year also lost parents. For some, they know that this will be the last time they will have the holidays with a loved one.

Not all the money in the world, no amount of dollars spent, will ever fill the vacuum left by a beloved friend or family member.

Call me sentimental, but it seems like this is a time to be appreciative of what we have now, instead of accumulating mere material "things". I for one would certainly like to have Mom for another Thanksgiving and Christmas. For the rest of my life I will be haunted by old hurts between us that never really got resolved. It would have been nice to have the time to reconcile those and have just a little more time to share. That will never happen. But I refuse to let that be with anyone else that I care for.

This Thanksgiving, I choose to be thankful. This Christmas, if I don't receive anything at all, that's not going to keep me from enjoying the company of those that I love.

When I consider the madness that will no doubt ensue in a few days' time, it makes me almost wish that this country would have a hard crash. Perhaps then it would bring us to our senses. Compel us to get our priorities back in order. Don't get me wrong: I enjoy getting some Christmas presents: it just isn't perfect unless I get a new pair of sweatpants, some LEGOs and at least one Star Wars toy. But is any of that the focal point of my holidays? More like a nice cherry on top.

Anyhoo, Jennifer Waters at MarketWatch has a considerably recommendable story about retailers ruining Thanksgiving in their war for "Black Friday" bucks. You might have already read it 'cuz it's making the rounds quite a lot already. It's enough to make one pause, and forsake heading to the stores at all on Thanksgiving Day.

Who knows: if enough people stay home, maybe the retailers will come to figure out that it's not worth the money to open the doors earlier than sanity allows.

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No more Twinkies: Labor union destroys Hostess

I hope the idiots in the photo on the right are happy.  Those are some of the members of the Bakery, Confectionery, Tobacco Workers and Grain Millers International Union who went on strike against their employer: Hostess Brands, Inc.

The union has about 5,000 people working at Hostess. As of this morning, their months-long strike has put themselves and thirteen thousand others out of work.

The big news at the time of this writing is Hostess going out of business and liquidating its assets. The company could no longer afford to be in business as a result of the strike. More than 18,500 people are now unemployed.

What a colossal committing of ass-hattery.

But hey, at least the employees responsible can rely on the union bosses to back them up. Not to mention getting government unemployment checks. All out of spite for a measly 2% decrease in pension that Hostess put on the bargaining table. Yeah, win the fight for a tiny amount of pension but put nearly 20,000 people out of work and destroy a favorite snack food for everyone.

Like they say on the basketball court: "Smooth move Ex-lax!"

Labor unions are worse than useless. If this doesn't demonstrate that, I don't know what possibly could.

Better stock up on your favorite Hostess-brand goodies, folks...

 

...'cuz they're about to be gone. Forever.

(I can't imagine any other company right now wanting to buy out Hostess and putting their goodies back into production: it'd cost too much to relocate factories to right-to-work states, and would anyone in their right mind in this economic environment want to go through the hassle anyway?)

It is the end of an era, my friends. A darn shame too, seeing as how Hostess snacks helped to end the reign of terror of so many supervillains back in the day.

Twinkies, Ding Dongs, Ho-Hos, Fruit Pies, Wonder Bread: get 'em now, friends and neighbors. Their value will be greater than gold as barter items on the underground market when the sh-t hits the fan. Probably sooner than later.

But if I were the CEO of Hostess, I wouldn't have put out a press release or called a news conference about what has been done to his company.

This is how I would have delivered the message...

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TWILIGHT: BREAKING DAWN PART 2 premiered 30 minutes ago in theaters across America

"Our long national nightmare is over."

Until my dying day, I will deny that those are real vampires.

Not afraid of sunlight? Not repelled by crucifixes or holy water or garlic? Casting shadows and appearing in mirrors? Not sleeping in coffins? Being "sparkly"? No fangs at all?!?

"Vampires" my butt. Those are, at most, people with severe eating disorders.

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What does the Bible say? Homosexuality and marijuana use are legal!

And not just legal but apparently endorsed.

Found this on Facebook and it was too good not to share...

Just more proof that if you study the Bible hard enough, if you want to find something, you can find sanctioning for just about ANYTHING in it!

Okay, in all seriousness: I know and would dare say most everyone else knows that the Bible does not condone sexual immorality or drug abuse. But scriptures can... and indeed have... been twisted by selectively choosing out of context and inane literalism to create beliefs and doctrines that have no merit and indeed do not exist from study of the Bible as a whole.

No matter where you're coming from though, that graphic is still funny :-)

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Bob Buckley turns in a BEAUTIFUL story about tobacco barns

When it comes to North Carolina architecture, there is no more ubiquitous an example than the humble tobacco barn. You can barely drive half a mile in the rural farming areas without seeing at least one or two dotting the landscape. With some of them dating back a century and more, they once exemplified this state's agricultural acumen like nothing else could.

And it is not without some sadness that in the modern era, most of them have fallen into disuse. Once they hummed with hard work and a handsome payoff. Now, no more. But the barns still stand: a testimony to times gone by and a tradition that many families maintained for generations.

For those reasons and more (not the least of which is the gorgeous cinematography and editing by Stewart Pittman) I can't recommend enough that y'all check out this Buckley Report story by WGHP Fox 8 reporter Bob Buckley. Buckley and Pittman deserve an Emmy for this, easily...

Special thanks to good friend Mark Childrey for being the first to spot this and passing it along!

(Along with props to historian extraordinaire Bob Carter for a great exposition about tobacco farming :-)

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Just back from SKYFALL

Go see it. Now. Trust Chris. And trust Chris's girlfriend too.

Let's just say this: I loved Casino Royale. I enjoyed Quantum of Solace. BUT...

Skyfall is what those first two movies were building up to. Daniel Craig has been James Bond for the better part of a decade. And now with Skyfall his James Bond is at last, now and forever, 007.

If you've seen it already then you understand. If you haven't yet well... you are in for a hella wild and 'splosive ride!!

Best. Bond. Movie. Ever. I have to see it again!!

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37 years ago tonight came "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"

It was on November 10th, 1975 that the Edmund Fitzgerald, the largest ship on the Great Lakes, sank into the depths of Superior. She carried twenty-nine men down with her.

The following year, Gordon Lightfoot recorded what is almost certainly his best-known song. It's also one of my personal favorites, and when I found this on YouTube I had to post it here too.

Accompanied by video and photos from her construction on through her tragic end and beyond, here is "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"...

You can read more about the Edmund Fitzgerald at its Wikipedia entry.

And some years ago, on the occasion of the thirtieth anniversary of the disater, I wrote a retrospective about the ship and its good crew.

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And on the day after...

...we still woke up. The sun rose again. There was a new morning. Life did go on.

In fact, it couldn't sincerely be said that much of anything changed at all.

This country, this world even, is not made by the grace of a single man or woman. An individual can render it grievous harm however.

But in the end, America - and every other country for that matter - is the result of the diligence of her entire people. And I tend to believe she is only as good as the lengths her people will go to admit that they are not wise enough to govern this land with mere human reasoning.

Acknowledging that much is the beginning of the enlightenment that the Founders prayed we might have. We've lost sight of that, and that has to be said regardless of what "party" we might belong to.

I'm going to have more to say about this election in the coming days. Including some things that may not be very popular, but I think they need to be said anyway.

In the meantime, congratulations to everyone who won his or her respective election.

---

I wrote that four years ago, on the morning after the last presidential election. Thought it was worth sharing again this morning.

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Somebody voted for me for President!

Hey, I got a write-in vote from Florida for the office of President of the United States!

Not a joke: that is a real ballot a friend turned in this afternoon. I doubt I'll win but hey, at least someone thinks I'm more qualified for the job than Roseanne Barr. That's... something, I suppose!

As for my own vote for President:

There it is. That's it. The space on my ballot for President was left unmarked. Untouched. Unsoiled. As virgin as the wind-driven snow.

I had thought of writing in "Rufus T. Firefly". Until a wise friend convinced me today that a write-in vote for a fictitious character or anything like that would have been just as waste of a vote as those who blindly vote straight-ticket. That a much more morally powerful vote would be to choose not to participate in that particular madness at all.

Wanna know what most led me to not vote for anyone at all?

I believe in the sanctity and preciousness of human life. I believe that nothing has done more irreparable damage to our value of the soul than abortion. It is as Mother Teresa of Calcutta said: "The greatest destroyer of peace is abortion... And if we accept that a mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell other people not to kill one another?" and "Any country that accepts abortion, is not teaching its people to love, but to use any violence to get what it wants."

I cannot vote for Barack Obama because of his steadfast belief that innocent human life can be destroyed out of "choice".

Nor could I vote for Mitt Romney because he has gone on record many, MANY times as likewise believing that abortion should be upheld and even protected. Enough times in fact that I can not and do not trust his very convenient "conversion" on the issue prior to running for President. "Pro-life" George W. Bush had a "pro-life" Congress to work with... and they did NOTHING about abortion but token gestures!

I brook no doubt that Romney will/would be doing just as much.

And I am not entirely comfortable with Gary Johnson's position on the matter either.

So this afternoon, since were no candidates who I could feel confident enough about trusting my vote with, voted for no one for President.

My hands are clean and tonight my conscience is absolutely clear.

It can not be said that I "wasted" my vote.

And neither can it be said that I lent my consent toward this country's being apparently hellbent toward colossal ruin.

But I'm still honored that in the state of Florida, however miniscule it might be, that someone was willing to put their faith in me as President :-)

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This week's THE WALKING DEAD was the darkest yet

And that's sayin' something about this show...

Congratulations producers of The Walking Dead: you finally brought television its most gruesome and disturbing birth scene since Robin's delivery in V: The Final Battle all the way back in 1984:

Yeah. It was sicker than that even.

"Killer Within" raised the stakes. Dropped jaws. And most of all, broke our hearts.

Due to peculiar circumstances at the moment I'm not catching The Walking Dead until the day after it airs (well I could if I wanted to, but I'm an honorable boyfriend who can only experience this story together with his girlfriend :-) and when Facebook and Twitter went berzerk about this episode last night, well... it was a long 20 hours to wait. But that was a hella thing to be patient for. I'm gonna be numb all night after watching that.

Anyone else wanna argue that The Walking Dead is not the best show on television right now? Let's hear about something else. 'Cuz if there is, I wanna watch it too.

In the meantime, so looking forward to next week's episode! And speaking of The Walking Dead and my girlfriend: Kristen and I applied to attend this year's Butt-Numb-A-Thon film festival next month in Austin, Texas. I went to the ninth one in 2007 and we were hoping that this could be an "ultimate movie date night" for us, but we didn't get on the attendance list (with 170 being picked out of 3000+ it was gonna be tough no matter what). Anyhoo, Harry Knowles of Ain't It Cool News and the founder/emcee of the festival gave applicants the option of making a video: their interpretation of a scene from their favorite movie. Kristen came up with a crazy awesome idea and we filmed it two weeks ago. I thought it'd be fun to share it here :-)

So here is Kristen and her spin on a well-known scene from Love Actually:

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American politics: How to level the playing field

The game is rigged. We all know it.

So why do we tolerate it?

America owes the old Soviet Union an apology. At least the Soviets had one party rule and were honest about it.

Tomorrow is the national election day in the United States. But nothing will substantially change as a result of it. The two major parties, corporate interests and the mainstream media have perpetrated a massive con on the American people: making us believe that there are only two parties that count when in truth they are much the same.

I will not be voting for either one of the two major candidates for President. Neither of them has done anything to earn my trust. I will vote for another. Some may call that "throwing your vote away". I disagree.

Any vote from one's earnest conscience is a valid one. As I see it, it is the straight-ticket vote which is the real wasted vote. Anybody who blindly and without question votes straight down a party ticket is wasting their vote. Worse: they are shirking the responsibility of freedom that too many men and women fought and died so that they might have said freedom.

I won't go back to being a slave of the system. Long ago I saw it for what it really is: a machine keeping most Americans intellectually hostage, when every one of us can choose liberation over captivity.

It is not easy. But it is worth it.

The system is broken. The system has no vitality left to it. All that is left is stagnation. America is a nation of political and philosophical vacuum among its leadership. The damn system has been made to keep out people with new and refreshing thoughts and ideas.

I'm going to have to answer to my children someday about why this country is the way that it is. I'll be damned if I have to tell them that I didn't do my best to leave them a world just a little bit better than how it was when I came into it.

So what would I suggest that could reinvigorate the United States and make this a land of true freedom and place of ideas and opportunity again?

Pass a new amendment to the Constitution. It could even be considered an amendment to Amendment One. It would read thusly...

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of political party.
In one fell swoop, partisan politics would be eliminated. There would be no more favoritism toward one party or toward two parties or toward any other.

Come to think of it, Amendment One might already outlaw favoritism toward political parties. I've seen plenty enough Christians who think that voting Republican is a God-ordained ordinance. The same with a lot who vote Democrat with theistic zeal. Political parties are the only religion a lot of people seem to have. But all the same, clarifying the point would not be a bad thing.

Keep in mind that this amendment does not outlaw political parties. Parties would and should exist, if people want them as a coalescence of common notion. They would be de-fanged. But as organs of nomination, they would be even welcome, because...

Candidate party affiliation will be removed from the ballot.  No more "D"s and "R"s on the ticket.  No more "I"s either, because they simply wouldn't be needed. If a candidate meets the criteria to be put on a state's ballot (which should be reasonable for all prospective candidates), then he or she is on the ballot... but as himself or herself, and not as a representative of a party. It would make straight-ticket voting impossible. It would also force a lot of people who haven't done it nearly enough to be informed and think critically before casting a ballot.

And when it comes to Presidential elections...

The Commission on Presidential Debates will no longer be the sponsor of Presidential debates.  The debates used to be the province of the League of Women Voters. Then the Democrats and Republicans colluded in 1988 to create the Commission on Presidential Debates. It was the proverbial wolves guarding the henhouse. The commission is controlled solely by Democrats and Republicans as a "bipartisan" organization, with funding (most of it secret) from a number of major corporations. Of course these are the only Presidential debates that the major news media choose to cover.

So, disband the commission. And let every candidate who has been qualified to appear on the ballot in each of the fifty states take part. That means that candidates nominated from the Libertarian, the Constitution and other significant parties would be welcomed on the same stage as the Democrats and Republicans... while the truly radical parties with agendas running counter to democracy and capitalism (such as the Communist Party USA) would in all likelihood never appear. I mean, they could theoretically with enough support... but it is not a fair and honest battleground of ideas when only two parties collude to lock out all legitimate competition.

Don't think that will work? Believe that more than two parties would only bring on confusion and discord?

Abraham Lincoln was one of four candidates who were listed on the ballot in the 1860 election. Lincoln only received just shy of 40% of the vote.

Do I believe that this is a country with thoughtful leadership that would seek to implement such measures?

I believe that it could be.

But I am realist enough to know that it is next to impossible. Corruption looks after itself, after all.

But as for myself, I can still choose to think for myself. To follow my own conscience. And if I am so led, to cast a vote against the demands of those around me.

I can't put it any better than how Captain America did when he spoke to Spider-Man during Marvel's Civil War arc...

Click to enlarge

Here I am.

"No. You move."

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1956 TV appearance by Samuel Seymour

Good friend "lowbridge" informed me about this a few years ago, so I've got to credit him with the find. It's a story that's gained renewed interest because of a certain upcoming movie.

So who was Samuel Seymour? He was the last surviving witness of the assassination of President Abraham Lincoln.

And Mr. Seymour lived long enough to talk about it on national television (sharing a stage with Lucille Ball, among others).

From February 9 1956, here is Samuel Seymour's appearance on I've Got a Secret:

Pause for a moment, and consider: Samuel Seymour was five years old when he heard the gunshot in Ford's Theater and saw John Wilkes Booth jump down to the stage after shooting Lincoln in the back of the head. Seymour was 96 when he passed away two months after being on I've Got a Secret.

No doubt there are many still living today who watched Samuel Seymour tell his story on television.

A century and a half seems such a long time... until we consider how few lifetimes fit within it.

There are photographs existing today of veterans of the Revolutionary War, posing in their uniforms. Photography was invented in 1826: the same year that Thomas Jefferson and John Adams passed away. It was within the realm of possibility (though it never happened) that we could have had real pictures of either or both men before they died.

A relative of mine passed away ten years ago this month. He witnessed the Hindenburg explode. I got to hear him tell me about it from his own lips.

On the scale of history a hundred years is nothing. A thousand years is nothing. Between now and the time of Christ, there have been a mere twenty lifetimes.

Think about that. I certainly do.

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Bold prophecy about Election Day

You know what's going to happen to America after Tuesday?

Nothing. Not a damned frazzling thing.

We will still be taxed too much.

Abortion will still go on.

TSA will still be molesting children and elderly people.

We will continue to be over-extended militarily.

Companies will keep relocating their production overseas.

Children in our schools will continue to be taught to obey and not question instead of encouraged to think for themselves.

Government power over us will continue to increase instead of diminishing.

Our economy won't stop being based around fiat currency.

The Constitution will continue to be ignored by lawmakers and the judiciary and the White House.

NOTHING will change after Tuesday... except perhaps a different set of faces upon which we'll blame for the folly that we ourselves allowed to happen. Because we didn't want to buck the status quo.

Some call that "being comfortable". I call that "being enslaved".

All we'll be doing on Tuesday so far as higher offices go is choosing a new overseer for the plantation. The funny thing is: we can choose to walk off of it any damned time we want.

So why aren't we?

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The Top Ten Greatest Fictional Statesmen

We deserve better.  We should have demanded better.  We should have had higher expectations from those who asked to be entrusted with crafting laws, with the public treasury, with judicial integrity, with command of the military.

Let's stop the bullcrap and be honest.  I mean, SERIOUSLY honest.  With an election looming in the next few days here in the United States, we have been incrementally conned and conditioned to have practically nobody to cast a vote for other than smooth-talkers and snake-oil salesmen.  Incumbents and challengers ready willing and able to sell their soul for a little scrap of power... and fools that we are, we seem only too willing to give it to them.  Sometimes I wonder if most of us like being treated with such contempt by those who allege to serve we the people.

In short: we have a surplus of politicians and too damned few statesmen.

What is a statesman?  Someone, man or woman, who puts the good of those they serve above his or her own desires and ambitions.  True statesmen are not politicians.  Politicians care only for the trappings of office and don't care how they get it.

For the past several years I have had a rule by which I abide when it comes to casting a ballot.  It is very simple: if a candidate's campaign creates or sanctions even one negative ad aimed at an opponent, I do not vote for that candidate.  To me it indicates that the candidate is a politician, not a statesman.  Statesmen will hold up under scrutiny per their own virtues.  They don't want or even need to attack the virtues of others, even if said virtues are lacking.

Right now, my ballot for next week has some pretty wide open spaces.

How has it come to this?  Could it be that... we as citizens have forgotten what a statesman is supposed to be?  That we can no longer recognize the qualities that make them leaders and not mere "politicians"?

Maybe.  In fact, I would dare say, unfortunately... yes, we have.

So if sincere and selfless and capable leadership cannot be found in our real world, perhaps a look toward movies, books and television is in order.  Assembled here are the top ten men, women, and other beings from fiction who best exemplify the various aspects of statesmanship, along with the qualities for which they are best known.

Who are they?  Find out after the jump!

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Shumate revs up the spiritual engine with CARS AND CHRISTIANITY

Awright, disclaimer time ('cuz I believe in that sort of thing): I've known Stephen Shumate for most of my life, though it's been the better part of twenty years since we've corresponded at all. But as is such these days we wound up hooking up again through Facebook. I've always thought Stephen as being one of the wisest and coolest people I've ever met (not to mention adventurous: he used to do crazy dangerous whitewater kayaking and probably still does).

When it caught my eye that Stephen had written a book, well... that certainly piqued my attention. Especially when the title of it is Cars and Christianity.

When I saw that title I was honestly expecting something very different. Like, maybe a book about the physical nuts 'n bolts of automobiles as much as contemplation upon spiritual life. Technical geek though I be, the inner workings of cars and trucks continue to mystify me (though that hasn't stopped me from getting three speeding tickets so far this year, but I digress...) and I was anticipating that Cars and Christianity would provide multi-disciplinary education across two disparate fields of interest. Alas! It did not.

But Cars and Christianity is, however, a very thoughtful lil' tome of reflections upon the grace of God and the seeking after Him for guidance and wisdom. One that will be readily accessible and enjoyable to anyone.

Cars and Christianity presents the walk with Christ as an auto restoration project (much like the one Shumate undertook with his '73 Corvette shown on the cover). The life of the believer is one that begins as a banged-up embarrassment of rusted chrome and Bondo-filled panels: one that MAACO wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. Yet the Master Mechanic that is Christ is more than sufficient to repair "every single dent and scratch", as Shumate puts it. So it is that in the beginning, the Christian's car is made better than sparkling new.

And yet, as Shumate notes, far too many Christians are content to leave their cars sitting in the garage: accumulating dust and quietly rotting under the hood. And that's not what our spiritual vehicles are intended to be! Our cars are supposed to be driven hard and fast on God's highway, trusting Him to guide us even amidst smoke, snow and any other adverse condition. No life should be left idly in park. Indeed, that isn't much of life at all. But to hit the road as a believer in Christ is to have a more action-packed adventure than possibly anything depicted in Easy Rider or Thelma and Louise. All we have to do is be willing to put the key into the ignition.

Wonderfully laden with insight and humor, Cars and Christianity invokes everything from NASCAR racing to the quirks of GPS. My only complaint about it is that I was left wanting more. But as a first-time book, it is a terrific work of analogies and applications for long-time Christians and new believers alike. I certainly came away from reading it feeling that it was time well spent... and time leading to deeper reflection upon my own faith.

Cars and Christianity is available as softcover printed book and one of those new-fangled Kindle readers (and it can also be used on an iPad with the free Kindle app). BUT READERS OF THIS BLOG are getting the book for just $5.00! Simply head on over to this page that Stephen has set up for you nice folks and enter B7NY3ZL8 as the discount code. So you're getting a fun and edifying book, putting money into Stephen's pocket AND saving some coin for yourself all at the same time! Is that a great deal or what?!

Anyhoo however you get it, Cars and Christianity gets this blogger's seal of approval. And I hope that this is only the first of many, many books still to come from Stephen Shumate :-)

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Penka Kouneva's A WARRIOR'S ODYSSEY: a journey across emotion under fire

In the almost nine years of writing on this blog and not a few write-ups about music, I can't recall doing any review of an original orchestral composition. Mostly it has been soundtracks and albums by "Weird Al" Yankovic.

So it is that when a copy of A Warrior's Odyssey - the new album from film composer Penka Kouneva - arrived for review, I made the approach with more than a little trepidation. Composing a review for a movie score or studio album is one thing. Writing it for a more classical work is a whole new thing for me (and my iPod is loaded with everything from Wagner to The Three Tenors in Concert 1994, believe it or not.)

And now, after listening to A Warrior's Odyssey a bunch of times... I can't honestly claim that I have skill enough to write about how magnificent an album this is!

Kouneva is no stranger to dramatic composition. She has previously collaborated with other artists, including Steve Jablonsky on the soundtracks for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and Gears of War 3, as well as contributing to The Matrix Revolutions and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. With A Warrior's Odyssey however, Kouneva is relying on the music itself to convey a sense of experience of - and very personal evolution ensuing from - the brutal realm of modern battle. There are no visuals playing on the screen or in your head to juxtapose this album with.

And it doesn't need them, either. A Warrior's Odyssey is a flowing work of eighteen tracks making up a triptych of movements. They beautifully convey drama in all its buildup and resolution, without a typically requisite plot to steer it with. But Kouneva arouses emotion with such skill and thoughtfulness with A Warrior's Odyssey that it stands beautifully as a work unto itself, without needing a commercial story behind it.

And really, music like this can evoke thoughts and images better than any soundtrack could. "Waiting for Dawn to Break" brings to mind the fleeting night and anticipation of the combat to come. The next several tracks take us quickly into the fray of battle, interspersed with moments of personal conflict, with Track 4 - also titled "A Warrior's Odyssey" - the masterpiece of the tapestry's first part.

It's onward from "Forgotten Steeples", the eighth track, that A Warrior's Odyssey really takes off from a glorious opening round. These are the moments of introspection: all-too-brief and desperately grasped moments of reflection, doubt, wonder.

The individual focus is washed away again in the deluge of war with the album's third section. And here is where Kouneva flexes all her considerable talent, masterfully interweaving the album's previous forays into both personal emotion and the brutality of battle. I found my three favorite tracks from this part to be "Fading Fortitude/The Battle Must Go On" and "Pilot Bombardier and Dogfights" (each of which has been nominated for industry awards) and "Airplane Bound for the Skies": the album's grand finale.

Penka Kouneva has enjoyed an already stellar career in Hollywood, but I have a strong feeling that A Warrior's Odyssey will prove to be her real breakout album. One that will put her in high demand as both a commercial composer and originator of the highest caliber of classical style. So it is that A Warrior's Odyssey gets this blogger's highest recommendation for your music library! Click here to find it at Amazon.com. Or head on over to iTunes and purchase it there if you can't wait for a nice shiny disc. However it is that you buy it, you won't regret that you did!

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