KONG-SIZED REVIEW: King Kong DVD and Kong: King of Skull Island

Funny thing about A Christmas Carol: you never have to had ever read the book to understand the entire story. EVERYONE knows what A Christmas Carol is all about. But how many of us have actually taken the time to sit down with the original novel and enjoy it the way Charles Dickens wrote it in 1843? I finally did that when I was in college years ago: reading it in Dickens' prose, it was an entirely new experience from what I knew about the story from movies and television.

King Kong is a lot like A Christmas Carol: everyone knows its basic story, even if they've never seen Merian C. Cooper's 1933 classic. Just about any small child will tell you that Kong climbs the Empire State Building and fights airplanes and that there's a beautiful woman he's madly in love with. Those are some of the most iconic images in movie history. Yet how many people nowadays have allowed themselves the pleasure of watching the original film?

I first saw King Kong on the local PBS station one Friday night during my senior year of high school. All I'd known about it 'til that night were Kong and the Empire State Building, something about an island of natives and dinosaurs, and of course Fay Wray screaming like mad. If PBS hadn't shown it I've no idea when I would have watched it: in an age before Netflix, the local video stores only carried the 1976 remake. So I microwaved up some popcorn and settled in for the movie. It was unlike anything I'd ever seen before, especially given the time it was made in. Since that night I've come to believe that the original King Kong is the perfect marriage of good story and special effects. Look how well it holds up even today, when digital cinema has all but replaced stop-motion animation and clever camera tricks. It made such an impression on me that a little over a year later when Jurassic Park debuted, I found myself comparing that movie against King Kong. And between the two, there's no contest: Kong is still king.

Now you know that the original King Kong is one of my all-time favorite movies. Suffice it to say I was delighted when a packaged arrived from Amazon.com five days ago. In addition to a certain something being reserved for Christmas, there were two items that I couldn't wait to get my hands on: the newly-released and LONG-awaited DVD of King Kong, and the hardback edition of the sumptuously-illustrated novel Kong: King of Skull Island. Since arriving here Monday I've given myself a little extra time to enjoy both the DVD and book, exploring all the features and nuances in them, and basically letting myself get drawn again back to the world that I was first propelled into all those years ago. So while we're waiting to see what Peter Jackson has in store for us with his new take on the Kong myth this coming week, here's my double-barreled review of some stuff that's sure to appeal to any Kong enthusiast: the King Kong DVD and the Kong: King of Skull Island book.

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King Kong 2-disc Special Edition DVD review

This just might have tied with the original Star Wars trilogy as the most hotly-demanded DVD for release since the format debuted about ten years ago. Well, a little over two weeks ago it finally came out and if Warner Bros. (which owns the rights to the classic from RKO Pictures) was using all this time to bring forth a DVD worthy of Kong, then it was time and effort very well spent: this is without a doubt the most majestic DVD ever to grace my shelf. Anyone looking to release a movie on DVD in the future would do well to study what went into this edition. Just as King Kong set the standard for all the special-effects movies that followed, this raises the bar on what should be expected of a DVD.

First there's Disc One, which contains the movie. You've never seen King Kong like this before, if the only thing you've got in your head is what Turner Classic Movies and the occasional PBS broadcast have given you over the past few decades.

This is where Warner went all-out and held nothing back when it came to restoring King Kong to as pristine a condition as is currently possible. The best film elements were tracked down, the entire thing got digitally remastered. The result: from the moment it first started spinning in my DVD player, I was stunned at how superior the image quality is in this release. This is the best movie restoration I've ever seen. It's an incredibly clean transfer to DVD, with the barest hints of any scratch lines or other sign of age. There is a little graininess apparent in some places, but otherwise you might believe that you are watching a virgin print all the way from 1933. Watching it like this, it's a lot like having watched film projection all your life, and then watching digital projection for the first time. That's what happened to me at the second Star Wars Celebration a few years ago, and that's what experiencing King Kong on DVD reminded me of a lot. The sound quality of the King Kong DVD is as fine as the image quality. This isn't Dolby Surround Sound, but it doesn't have to be: the audio is crisp and clear, and without knowing anything about how they treated this, it sure seems to me like Warner Bros. worked as much on the sound component of King Kong as they did on the visual.

Disc One also contains a collection of trailers for some of Merian C. Cooper's movies, including King Kong. But what is really going to appeal to fans of Kong – and just about every other special-effects movie ever made – is the option to watch King Kong with audio commentary from stop-motion living legend Ray Harryhausen (Mighty Joe Young, Jason and the Argonauts, and Clash of the Titans just to name some of the movies he's done) and visual effects guru Ken Ralson (the Back to the Future trilogy, the first Star Wars movie, The Polar Express, dozens of others over the years). Interspersed between Harryhausen and Ralston talking about the work that went into King Kong are audio excerpts of Faye Wray and Merian C. Cooper. I'm a big fan of audio commentary – I've loved the ones on the recent Star Wars DVDs – but this one has really resonated with me a lot stronger than most. It's one that I won't mind coming back to again and again in years to come.

Disc Two is the biggest hoot of a supplementary disc I've yet seen. The first thing on it you MUST watch is I'm King Kong! The Exploits of Merian C. Cooper. I watched this documentary on Turner Classic Movies within this past month and it's great to have it included in the King Kong set. Narrated by Alec Baldwin (yeah I could say something about him but I won't, this is about King Kong), it's an hour-long examination of the action-packed life of the man who created King Kong. From aerial warfare pioneer (he was one of the first to forsee the power of aircraft in a military capacity) to World War I prisoner of war, to freedom fighter for Poland, to filmmaker in the most unrelenting places on Earth, and then on to create one of the most enduring legends of the silver screen, Cooper did it all and lived to tell the tale. Cooper would later go on to help plan air raid missions for the U.S. Army in World War II. In a lot of ways, I came away from this documentary seeing how the U.S. Air Force could owe much of its existence to the creator of King Kong... pretty cool, eh?

You'll want to give yourself the full two hours to enjoy the next offering on Disc Two: RKO Production 601: The Making of Kong, Eighth Wonder of the World. It's a seven-part documentary covering EVERYTHING you can imagine about the production of King Kong, and here again, no expense was spared. The daring life of Merian C. Cooper is once again explored, but we are also given an intimate look at everyone else who worked to bring Kong to life, like Ernest B. Schoedsack, who was partners with Cooper (and with whom shared an intense passion for adventure and filmmaking). Much of the story was credited to Edgar Wallace, and the screenplay was written by James Creelman and Ruth Rose (who accompanied Schoedsack and Cooper on many adventures as Schoedsack's wife!). One part of the documentary focuses on Kong's pioneering use of music and sound, owing to the efforts of composer Max Steiner and Murray Spivack (who shares much about Kong's production in interview segments made before his death in 1994). But for me, the most rewarding part of this documentary was seeing the attention given to the man who gave King Kong his life and soul: Willis H. O'Brien, the stop-motion animator who worked tirelessly to make people really believe that Kong was fighting all those dinosaurs, before wrecking havoc in Manhattan. Some of today's most well-known filmmakers and names in movies and special effects – including John Landis, Phil Tippett and Ben Burtt (the Star Wars sound effects wizard) weigh in during this documentary to talk about the effect that King Kong and its creators have had on movies in the seventy-plus years since its first release. That's one thing I found really sweet about this DVD: how many of today's artists pay homage – with a great deal of humbleness – to a lot of people who may not have gotten a lot of credit, until now. Just one more reason why this DVD works on so many levels.

But right now one name is sure to stand out to whoever watches this documentary: Peter Jackson, who's taken his passion for the original movie to daring new heights, not only with his remake (which is said to be intensely faithful to the spirit of the original) but also with some things that he's done outside of production of his own movie. One part of the documentary deals with the long-lost "spider-pit sequence", that was taken out by Cooper after it was shown to a test audience in 1933. Cooper removed it because he felt it was slowing down the movie, and because it reportedly was incredibly sickening to those in the audience. To date no complete cut of the sequence has been located: only a few photographs are proof of its existence. Well it wasn't enough that Peter Jackson finish his own King Kong: he jokes about having to finish the 1933 one also! So included on this disc is a special "re-creation" of the spider-pit scene that Jackson supervised, using many of the techniques that Cooper, Schoedsack and O'Brien used in 1932. There is a making-of that shows how Jackson and his crew at WETA Digital pulled it off. There is also a stop-motion animated sequence of Kong attacking a human that Jackson created, using an armature (the metal skeleton underneath) identical to the one used for the 1933 Kong model. Peter Jackson is all over Disc Two but instead of coming across as an advertisement for his own King Kong, Jackson seems to be all about paying tribute to the original. To me, it seemed like just one more reason to believe why Peter Jackson really is one of the most – if not THE most – down-to-earth filmmakers in the world today.

Stop-motion aficionados will also be interested to know that Disc Two contains footage from O'Brien's earlier effort Creation, with commentary by Ray Harryhausen. There is also a longer segment about Creation in the RKO Production 601 documentary, including its basic storyline.

The King Kong 2-disc Special Edition DVD is available by itself, or as part of a three-movie collection that in addition to King Kong also has the more "cuddly" follow-up Son of Kong and Cooper's later gorilla thriller Mighty Joe Young. Or, you can spend a few extra bucks and get the King Kong Collector's Edition, which has the 2-disc King Kong but also a 20-page reproduction of the original 1933 souvenir program, movie postcards and a few other goodies in a beautiful collector's tin. I might get this one later, if for no other reason than 'cuz I'm a Kong nut. But if you don't care either way whether or not you have the collector's set or a few extra movies, you still can't go wrong with getting the basic 2-disc set of King Kong. After just a few days this has already become one of my favorite DVDs sitting in our rack, and no matter how much I might well-up at Peter Jackson's take on it (I've heard it's a real tear-jerker) the original King Kong is a movie I'm looking forward to enjoying for myself, and with my future children in the many years to come.

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Kong: King of Skull Island review

CARL DENHAM: Here's a long sandy peninsula. The only possible landing place is through this reef. The rest of the shore-line is sheer precipice, hundreds of feet high. And across the base of that peninsula, cutting it off from the rest of the island, is a wall.

CAPTAIN ENGLEHORN: A wall?

CARL DENHAM: Built so long ago that the people who live there now have slipped back, forgotten the high civilization that built it. But it's as strong today as it was centuries ago. The natives keep that wall in repair. They need it.

JACK DRISCOLL: Why?

CARL DENHAM: There's something on the other side - something they fear.

-- from King Kong, 1933

Ever since first hearing that exchange onboard the Venture in the original King Kong, I've been fascinated by it. It hinted at a lot of back-story that the movie didn't cover: you could say that King Kong introduced the broad strokes of the brush that George Lucas later used to paint his Star Wars saga with.

It wasn't just the tease about Skull Island either: there are TONS of questions raised by King Kong. Who built the wall, and why? And why the heck is there a gate built into the wall that's big enough for Kong to come through? What was that "high civilization" from which its descendants met with the crew of the Venture? How long had Skull Island been inhabited by humans? Whatever happened to the other young women who were sacrificed to Kong? How did Denham bring Kong into New York City without arousing curiosity or suspicion? What happened to Denham and Kong – and Ann Darrow and Jack Driscoll – after the New York City disaster?

And what about Kong himself: What was he? Where did he come from? How did he become the object of worship to the natives of Skull Island?

Right after watching the 1933 movie (but before I began going through the extra features, the audio commentary etc.) I started reading Kong: King of Skull Island, by Joe DeVito and Brad Strickland, with John Michlig. It'd been out awhile (I just noticed that according to its page on Amazon.com that my own review comes exactly a year since it was first published). But after hearing such good word about it for some months now I had to order it along with the King Kong DVD. And I'm glad that I got them both in one shot: this book is the perfect follow-up to – and prequel of – the original movie. It's made for the perfect King Kong experience this past week. I can't imagine going into seeing Peter Jackson's version now after having a better time than the past few days have given me.

I have to say this first: this book was unlike any that I'd read before. It's a real narrative novel, not a "graphic novel" at all (even though it's published by DH Press, an imprint of Dark Horse Comics). But I've never known a novel to be so richly illustrated as is Kong: King of Skull Island. Creator Joe Devito has liberally peppered the pages of his book with beautiful renditions of its characters, paintings of its action scenes, and depictions of Skull Island's unusual wildlife. Some are well-fitting to the accompanying prose. Others are extremely frightening (there is one picture, of something called "Gaw", that especially gives me shivers to look at). All are gorgeous to behold. It's also a huge book: it measures over 11 inches tall by almost 9 inches in width. At 164 pages it feels like it could be twice that length if its dimensions were those of a normal novel. But it also reads pretty fast: I started reading it Monday evening and finished it the following night after spending most of that day at my teaching job. All things considered, it's been awhile since I finished a novel feeling quite as satisfied as I did after reading the last page of Kong: King of Skull Island. For any fan of the 1933 movie, this book is certain to give a Kong-sized amount of pleasure.

And for the Kong purists out there who are wondering about this book’s canonicity, be of good cheer: Kong: King of Skull Island was written with the blessing of the family of Merian C. Cooper. It has received praise from many – including Ray Bradbury – as being a worthy sequel of the original movie. Forget that Son of Kong happened: herein now lies the true story of what happened after beauty killed the beast...

It is 1957: a quarter-century since King Kong went on his rampage through New York City that ended atop the Empire State Building. Within hours of Kong's crash to the ground his body – and Carl Denham – mysteriously vanished. By the late Fifties the Kong incident has been relegated to the status of urban folklore: most people don't even believe that it really happened. The few photographs still existing show an indefinable black mass. In short, there is no physical evidence that Kong really existed, and what memories people had of the event were soon diluted amid the struggles of the Great Depression and the looming threat of war.

Anthropologist Vincent Denham, who was ten years old when his father Carl Denham brought Kong to America, is now searching for answers to the questions he's long had about his long-lost father and his prize capture. A discovery made among his father's personal effects prompts Vincent to approach Jack Driscoll – a little older but on the eve of being a grandfather no less rugged than he was in 1932 – about mounting an expedition to Skull Island. Soon after their ship negotiates the reef guarding the island's peninsula, Vincent is thrown overboard during an attack by the island's vicious wildlife. He makes his way to the beach, is rescued by natives, and comes to be tended to by the mysterious Storyteller. It is she who begins to tell Vincent the tale of Kublai and Ishara: two young lovers who find themselves caught in a power struggle between the island’s two rival factions. What happens to them and the other players that are found on – or make their way to – Skull Island ultimately converge on the central element of this entire story: the magnificent beast-god called Kong.

For anyone worrying that Kong had a miraculous resurrection a'la 1986's disastrous King Kong Lives, you needn't fear: the great ape did indeed die from his fall. But even though he is departed from this world, Kong remains the focus of the tale that began in the movie and continues now in Kong: King of Skull Island. He becomes the device through which is explored not only the wide vista of Skull Island, but the very souls of those entwined in the tale. And it does so with great loyalty to the spirit of the original movie. It also satisfies very well after watching the movie: By the end of the novel, there aren't any questions left from the film that are left unanswered. Everything is accounted for, and given a very believable rationale (yes, including the Kong-sized gate in the wall). If I were to give you two words that describe what happens in this novel, one of them would be "revelation".

The other word would have to be "redemption". On so many levels, this is a story about making an accounting of for past sins... but through forgiveness, not vindictiveness. I'm reminded a lot about the story of Joseph in the Bible: something that started out so horribly wrong ultimately made way for a great good to be done. In fact, this book reads almost like a Christian fantasy/action-adventure saga, with its multiple references to God and how He made His creation, while bringing up the issue of where man's role in all of this is. It’s not a "religious" novel at all, and it's not on a level equal to C.S. Lewis’s Chronicles of Narnia, but it's nice to see a spiritual component in a story – especially a story so rich with metaphor as Kong's is – that is woefully absent in a lot of modern fiction.

To sum up: this is a book that you can assuredly leave and feel that the time reading it was time well spent. I can't think of anything else comparable to it that might bring the same kind of satisfaction for the hardcore Kong fan. Kong: King of Skull Island is available in hardcover, and in a softcover trade paperback edition. If at all possible, go for the hardcover: it's the kind of book that deserves its space on the shelf along with the very best classics in your collection.

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And so ends my major personal activity of the past week: going a little crazy for King Kong, trying to crank out a review that does both of these items their deserved justice. So if you want to get your paws on some good readin' and watchin' in the buildup to Peter Jackson's new King Kong movie this next week, do yourself a favor and get the 1933 King Kong 2-disc DVD set and the Kong: King of Skull Island novel. You'll positively go ape over them!

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25 years ago today...

...John Lennon was shot outside his apartment building in New York City.

I remember my Dad telling me about it the next morning after I woke up. I had no idea who Lennon was at the time: at six years old I'd heard of the Beatles but had no idea who made up the band. So I wasn't old enough to know that Lennon was a very famous guy... but I do remember the incredible outpouring of grief that followed.

Anyway, since today it's been a quarter-century since his death, I felt led to make a note about it here. He was a great musician (even though right now I'm hearing "Happy Christmas (War is Over)" about ten times a day now and am coming to grow really tired of it) and if he'd lived a longer life, we would have seen a lot of amazing work come from him, I've come to think.

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Didn't the Nazis say the same thing when they forced Jews into the Warsaw ghetto?

The mayor of Riviera Beach in Florida is justifying his abuse of the new eminent domain powers that the Supreme Court gave governments by claiming that he's doing this to "rescue and save" the people who are already living in the areas that he wants to clear out, so that hotels and restaurants can be built there instead. "The America we want to live in is one that talks about personal sacrifices that you and that your colleagues talk about every night," Mayor Michael Brown told Sean Hannity earlier this week.

I said this last week, and I'll say it again: our soldiers in Iraq are dying for no reason at all if their purpose for being there is to protect American freedom. Because there is no more freedom in America, not really. When government can take away something that you own, just to give it to someone else that it favors, there no longer exists any basis for personal rights at all. This mayor sounds like someone out of the Soviet Union, or Nazi Germany, to be believing the kinds of things he's saying here.

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He's the King of the world: New Kong may sink Titanic

This goes hand-in-hand (or should I say hand-in-paw?) with something that I'll be posting, hopefully by tomorrow. Let's just say that Yours Truly has gone more than a little ape over the past day or two. But in the meantime, Drudge Report is saying today that some Hollywood suits are predicting that Peter Jackson's King Kong might break the all-time records for top-grossing movie set by Titanic when it came out in December of '97. "Grown men around me were crying," one insider said: "Yes, I think this will do Titanic numbers. It is going to be a huge movie."

I've been thinking that for about a week now too, wondering if King Kong may surprise everyone the way Titanic did. I remember a lot of people were saying back in '96-'97 that Titanic was going to be a disaster, and look how that turned out: about as perfect a movie as you can get. Well, I'm hoping that King Kong does climb to the top of the heap, and I'll tell ya why: I want to see James Cameron continue the tradition of sending a congratulatory card that Steven Spielberg and George Lucas started. Maybe on his it'll have Kong standing at the bow of the H.M.S. Titanic holding Ann Darrow with her arms spread out a'la DiCaprio and Winslett: He'll be the NEW king of the world!! Peter Jackson's earned that kind of honor, don't ya think? :-)

Okay, back to work. Expect more monkeyshines on this blog later.

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Power-mad Xbox 360

CNET.com's Will Greenwald is reporting that the Xbox 360 is a severe hog for electrical power, requiring more than twice the juice that the original needed. There's some neat stats in his post that might interest you.

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10 Marines die a meaningless death in Fallujah

10 Marines killed and 11 more injured from a roadside bomb in Fallujah, the Marine Corps just announced.

They died for nothing. Ten years from now it's going to be apparent to everybody that more than two thousand - at last count - American servicemen and women perished for no reason at all. Somebody is probably going to blast back at me for saying that, with the usual "They volunteered!" or "They are defending our freedoms!" or the standard canned answer. Someone is likely to say that I'm "a bitter person" for even saying all of this.

Yeah, I am bitter. Bitter at the old men - the chief among whom never saw real military service to begin with - who send young men to die for their own flights of fantasy. And yeah, those young Americans did volunteer: to do professionally what every American is supposed to be doing anyway, namely upholding and defending the Constitution of the United States of America. They did not volunteer to be pawns and cannon fodder for the twisted games of damaged little madmen. And despite word to the contrary, they are not over there "defending our freedom". For one thing, we don't have that much freedom over here left to begin with (hell, even blogs like this one are now being threatened by Congress). For another, they are NOT being used in a way that defends our freedom and sovereignty here. I could think of any number of ways that they could be doing that: putting them on our border with Mexico would be the biggest among them.

Iraq is a doomed country, no matter what the pundits are saying. It only even really stayed one united country because the government or dictator that was running the place at any given time used military force to keep everyone in line. Without someone like Saddam Hussein threatening everybody to keep the peace, Iraq will go the way of Yugoslavia: another country that was cobbled together from several other nations and cultures. That's not a defense of Saddam by any stretch, just a statement of historical evidence. In fact, I would say that if you want a clear picture of what we have in store for us in a post-Saddam Iraq, study what happened in Yugoslavia after Tito died. Then you'll understand why imposing a democracy in Iraq is going to ultimately fail miserably. Any "good news" coming out of Iraq right now is not much more than a panacea. The only way the place is going to maintain even a semblance of order is if another strong military presence is occupying the country. And that's the United States. We have become like Tito and Saddam, and if we pull out - either now or later - the resulting chaos is going to be on our own heads. It would have been a far better thing if we had not gotten involved at all, and let the Iraqi people solve their own problem, as best as they can, without any outside intervention.

But, we're stuck with it. And there's only going to be more meaningless deaths like these to report. Not out of some "grim satisfaction" no matter what the warhawks might say, but out of horrid loathing as to what's happening to our own. America wasn't intended to be an empire... so why are we wasting lives trying to be one now?

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The Nature Boy gets busted

The Smoking Gun has the mugshot photo of pro-wrestling legend "Nature Boy" Ric Flair after he surrendered to the police stemming from his allegedly assaulting a motorist in Charlotte. Chad and I were talking about this the other day and he posits the following observation...

Saw that in the Charlotte paper. His quote in the Charlotte Observer was, "As usual, I will be exonerated." Which begs the question, how often does the "Nature Boy" get charged if it's "usual" for him to be
exonerated?

On a somewhat related aside, after almost twenty years of hearing it boasted about from Flair but never understanding the context, it was only two days ago that it occurred to me just what it was he was referring to whenever he mentioned "Space Mountain". Sheesh... and in front of all those kiddies too! Anyway if you want to know more about the Nature Boy there's a pretty colorful article about him at Wikipedia that includes some classic photos of him.

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Giving them the monkey business

KongisKing.net this evening is making note of a new Flash site guaranteed to make you chuckle. Head over to Kong Kicks Ass and unleash the king of Skull Island on Tom Cruise, George W. Bush, and even yourself. Be warned though: the content is more or less really PG-13 in tone. But if you don't mind that, this is great for a few laughs.

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30,000!!!

Break out the dancing chimps: sometime in the past few minutes this blog had its 30,000th visitor since I first installed the counter almost two years ago. Can't believe I've had so many hits in that time. Just a few months ago it was somewhere in the 15,000 range, and now we're all the way to 30,000! To whoever was visitor #30,000, thank you... along with everyone else who's been a faithful visitor or otherwise stumbled onto my humble blog :-)

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So Bush is saying that the U.S. won't "run" from Iraq...

...which is kinda funny because Bush has done nothing but run from everything else - especially responsibility - his entire life.

What he really means is that he won't run away from sending more American lives to die needlessly, while he stays in absolute safety and comfort over here. For him to move away from that would constitute "running" in his mind.

See, this is why this blog and those of other independent-minded writers are so important: we're keeping things in their proper perspective, so that future generations won't be convinced that EVERYONE in this era only believed what their politicians told them to think.

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Best Buy's dirty tricks latest in Xbox 360 rollout mess

I won't buy top-of-the-line new tech right out the gate for one good reason: the stuff is rarely anywhere near 100% reliable. Better to wait a year or two and let everyone else "beta test" it so the wrinkles get worked out. Well, that reason and because it'll cost a lot less if you wait for it too. Besides, we got an Xbox last year for Christmas, and I haven't yet run out of thrills with that trusty black box. Our Xbox isn't going to be moving over for a successor for a long time to come.

But I can't disparage those that do go gunning for the newest tech first. Seeing the pics of Bill Gates handing out the first Xbox 360 to a customer last week, I couldn't help but smile at seeing how giddy that game player looked to have his grubby lil' paws on one of the coveted systems. That kind of enthusiasm has been dampered in the week since though, first by reports that a lot of Xbox 360 systems have been crashing (seems to have something to do with the power supply overheating, so maybe that's somethinge readily fixable). Then came reports of 360s selling in the thousands of dollars on eBay - I saw one system going for $10,000 - because of the severe shortage of the system (but the good news is that more Xbox 360s are on the way so you may have a good chance yet of landing one for Christmas). Now comes this: word that several Best Buy stores wouldn't let anyone buy an Xbox 360 without first forking over money for extra hardware and accessories... like, a lot of money. From the Inquirer:

BEST BUY HAS ADMITTED some of its employees stepped over the mark when it launched the Xbox 360.
People who queued up in the Pacific Northwest lined up for hours in the cold to get one, clutching adverts promising list price, got a rude surprise.

Most of the people who queued up went away empty handed, because the advertised list price was not what they actually had in stock.

Best Buy would not sell them for the advertised price, but only with a bundle that just about doubled the cost. Games, controllers, cables, and other high margin knick-knacks so if you didn't pay $800 you couldn't get an Xbox 360...

An internal Best Buy memorandum seen by the INQUIRER and sent on Tuesday 11/15/2005 at 8:02am to several mailing lists at Best Buy, mostly managers in the Pacific Northwest, instructed stores on what was to be done.

The mail was sent a week before the launch date, and before the ads hit the press.

The memo contained five 'quick notes' and a shorter note at the end.

"We will be selling our units in packages," the memo said. "Each store should hold back three to four units of each model for those customers who put up an argument about being able to only buy the unit. Everything else will be sold in bundles. This keeps us in alignment with everyone's expectations."

Sales managers, the memo continued, would be in charge of the 360 launch and stores should use the "very best" sales people for the launch. It said that stores' future allocations depended on attachment sales "so you need to get it right or you will pay for it in December when new allocations of product are distributed". Best Buy was advertising a nine AM opening time on the 22nd and stores had to stick to that time. Best Buy had such low quantities that it needed to be careful with the advertising. The memo said that if stores opened early and sold all their units before that time, it could be in trouble for false advertising.

Sales people were told to sell up around the Xbox 360 using the "halo effect". Customers wanting 360s would also need HD TVs, and surround systems. It concluded: "Folks, it's like milk and cookies"...

Y'know, part of the fun in trying to find something like an Xbox 360 is the hunt itself. And when you find one there should be a sense of accomplishment... but only when everything has been fair and equitable across the board. Best Buy was exceedingly dishonest in following this policy. They ruined the fun for a lot of people as a result. I don't know if I'll ever buy an Xbox 360 but after hearing about this I can assure you: it won't come from Best Buy.

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Davey Jones AKA Cap'n Cthulhu is coming: Trailer for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is online

Avast ye scurvy seadogs! Disney has just put online the trailer for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. Looks pretty gnarly. The squid-faced pirate is the legendary Davey Jones, who looks, sounds and moves a LOT better than I envisioned he would after seeing that concept drawing of him awhile back. I loved the original, can't wait to see what's in store for this next installment (and the one after that :-).

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Wanna see Bill Cosby and Harvey Keitel driving around in an ambulance?!

I was just checking the TV listings for this evening and if you've got the Fox Movie Channel and haven't "gotten" into Lost yet, you got a real treat tonight. At 8 p.m. EST they're running Mother, Jugs & Speed, starring Bill Cosby, Harvey Keitel, and Raquel Welch. It's a nice little gem from 1976 about a private ambulance company that's fighting both a competitor for a contract from the city, and its own internal conflicts. Bill Cosby is "Mother": the hardened veteran driver who flaunts all the rules in the book (and has a penchant for scaring nuns while driving his rig). Harvey Keitel is "Speed", and that handle doesn't necessarily reflect how fast he drives either (he's a suspended cop suspected of drug dealing). Raquel Welch is "Jugs": the outfit's dispatcher who wants to work the ambulances like the big boys. Look for more familiar faces like Larry Hagman and Dick Butkus among the cast. It can be a sometimes disturbing movie, especially if you're a fan of Bill Cosby. Be warned: this is the darkest comedy that the Cos has ever done in his career that I can think of. But it's also a pretty darned hilarious movie too: the scene where the lady's stretcher is going out of control down the street cracks me up every time I watch it! Plus, this movie absolutely has one of the all-time funkiest theme songs. Just wait 'til you hear it, you'll have "DANCE!" in your head all night.

If you're still wondering if this movie might be for you, here's Mother, Jugs & Speed's opening monologue from Mr. Fishbine, the owner of the company...

"I don’t have to tell you people times are tough. You read the papers. The country’s going to Hell. Now you take inflation, recession, welfare. There’s nothing we can do about that. But thanks to muggings, malnutrition, assassination, and disease, we got a chance to make a buck! I can see that some of you men must be shocked by that statement, but I didn’t write the rules of life myself, no sir! The cripple, the junkie, the wounded, and the dying. Society calls them all worthless. They’re not worthless. Not to us! To us each one is worth $42.50 plus 50 cents a mile, and let’s not forget it! When it comes to realizing that people in distress will jump into the first rig that shows up, well, then that’s when the drive and enthusiasm of you men will make the difference! But there’s another group out there, men... and I will not dignify the Unity Ambulance Company my mentioning its name, but they want our territory. Our sick! Your jobs! But we’re not gonna let them do it to us, are we men? You bet we’re not! No sir!"

(Jugs tells them they've got a call about a woman in labor)

"A woman in labor. What could be more eloquent than that? Well, it looks like life has it’s own little ways of summing up the situation, doesn’t it men? Gentlemen? The F&B Ambulance Company is rolling!"

I've heard this movie is a rare look at what driving an ambulance is REALLY like. So check it out if you can :-)

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C.S. Lewis did not want live-action Narnia movie

The BBC is reporting about a 1959 letter by C.S. Lewis wherein the author stated he did not want a live-action movie of his Narnia books to be produced. An animated version would be another matter but not if it were done by Disney... which Lewis slammed for its "vulgarity"! Lewis further considered that a human-operated Aslan would be "blasphemy".

Gotta wonder what Lewis would think of this coming month's movie, since he was writing decades before the advent of computer-generated imagery.

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I pity da fool who don't read this story!!

The Sun over in Great Britain has a great article about the return of Mr. T to the public eye. For the past ten years or so T hasn't been in the spotlight much, mostly because he fought hard (and won) against lymphatic cancer. But now T is set to have the biggest time of his life since he first exploded onto the scene in the early Eighties...

A battle against cancer forced The A Team star to take a break from acting 10 years ago, but now he's healthy and back with a new American reality show, a part in upcoming movie Rocky VI and even his own comic book.

Mr T told us: "I call all this stuff my resurrection, my second coming.

"There's a new generation out there and they like me and I'm honoured by that and grateful to God.

"We are going to start filming Rocky VI soon, with me as Clubber Lang again, and we're also starting work right now on my new show - which is called I Pity The Fool.

"Unlike all the other reality programmes, it is going to be about helping people. We're not going to be eating worms or swapping wives.

"For example a lady might write to me saying she's having trouble at a car dealership, because she's the only female employee and the men are harassing her. So I'll go in and straighten things out.

"I learn about the situation, observe for a couple of days and then call the guys into a meeting and give them the Mr T rap - 'I tell you fools, you don't disrespect no lady. My mum is a lady.'

"I don't get physical with anyone but I talk to them man to man and brother to brother."

The reality show bit I think is pretty ironic, 'cuz it made me think back to that commercial for the Oregon lottery from five years ago ("T needs a foot rub! Who's gonna give Mr. T a foot rub?"). I dunno about the whole idea behind a new Rocky movie but it'll be great seeing T returning to the role that first propelled him to fame. It's a nice long article and it shows a lot of the legendary soft-hearted nature that Mr. T became renowned for as much as his mohawk and gold chains... which he's not wearing anymore.

But I can't end this without first posting my all-time favorite photo of Mr. T. Circa 1984 at the White House...

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Good news: Diebold Voting may be leaving North Carolina

Diebold - one of THE MOST EVIL companies in American history - may be leaving North Carolina and taking its damnable voting machines with it. A judge is refusing to protect the company from having to release the source code behind its voting software.

When it comes to voting there MUST be a paper trail, something that can be readily tabulated by hand if need be. The bastitches at Diebold have - maybe even intentionally - been undermining the sanctity of the ballot box all over the country. There's no telling how much damage they've done through their computerized voting systems. No doubt there'll be some people who'll act all smug about that, but those people aren't even real Americans in my book. Diebold isn't a real American company either. May all their machines meet the business end of a sledgehammer, and not soon enough.

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Superman returns... through Development Hell

The Agony Booth has an extremely detailed synopsis of the bizarre saga of the last 15-some years regarding the attempt to make a new Superman movie. The story begins in 1987 with what went wrong on Superman IV on through the mid-90s, up to 2004. Among the story's more insane moments: Jim Carrey as Brainiac, Warner Brothers' Jon Peters not knowing who "this Kal-El guy" is (?!?), attempts to strip Superman of his ability to fly (?!?!?!?), and more lunacy than you might be prepared to readily believe. A definite must-read for anyone who's interested the least bit in the movie production process.

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Man caught stealing $200,000 worth of LEGOs

A 40-year old man is sitting in jail in Oregon after being caught with more than $200,000 worth of stolen LEGO bricks...

To haul away the evidence, agents working for the U.S. Postal Inspector said they had to back a 20-foot truck to William Swanberg's house in Reno, Nev., carting away mountains of the multicolored bricks...

Target officials contacted police after noticing the same pattern at their stores in the five western states. A Target security guard stopped Swanberg at a Portland-area store on Nov. 17, after he bought 10 boxes of the Star Wars Millennium Falcon set.

In his parked car, detectives found 56 of the Star Wars set, valued at $99 each, as well as 27 other Lego sets. In a laptop found inside Swanberg's car, investigators also found the addresses of numerous Target stores in the Portland area, their locations carefully plotted on a mapping software.

Looks like the charges are seriously stacked against this guy. Prosecutors are no doubt building a strong case against him...

Okay, jokes aside, my mind does boggle at the thought of fifty-six Millennium Falcon LEGO sets. Lisa got me one this past Christmas, and it had enough bricks in it that it took me the longest time of any LEGO set to put together:about 7 hours, after the 6.5 it took me to finish the LEGO AT-AT walker. I just can't comprehend having fifty-six of these things laying around. Inside one car no less, too. To say nothing of all those LEGOs he had in his house.

This is gonna be one story I won't be able to get out of my head for a long time to come, I think :-)

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Forcery on iPod

If you own one of those snazzy new iPods with video capability and you're looking for some new content to put on it, this one's for you. I spent the past few days working on a new encoding of Forcery that's optimized for play on the iPod. My goal was to have a version that's not only tailor-made for the iPod but also have the same average specs as the new episodes of Lost and other shows that are being sold through iTunes. I don't own an iPod with which to test this but at 320x180 resolution with a 16:9 aspect ratio, compressed with MPEG-4 encoding, this should work just fine. Wish I did have an iPod to put this on though: it'd be pretty cool to carry my own movie around to show to people. But I'm holding out for a few years at least, hoping that Apple will eventually make a version with owner-replaceable batteries 'cuz having it built-in and irreplaceable sucks. 'Sides, right now I'm perfectly happy with my Dell Pocket DJ: a VERY nice MP3 player (with better battery life than the iPod according to many sources). This was really an experiment for my own sake for the most part: just me playing around with MP4 encoding and such. But anyway, if you want some free watchin' on your iPod without having to make it yourself and you don't mind that being almost an hour long this'll probably deplete half of your player's full battery charge, and you still haven't watched our little parody of Stephen King's Misery about George Lucas and an obsessed Star Wars fan, here you go:
Forcery for iPod - 254 MB

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Lisa's review of Walk The Line

There was one line from the movie that really stuck with Lisa, so she made it the title of her own review of Walk The Line. She's really getting into this blogging business now :-) Sometime between now and Christmas we're going to work on some custom graphics for it, make it look sweet. In the meantime, enjoy her thoughts on the new Johnny Cash biopic.

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Bush: All hat and no cattle on illegal immigration

So, Bush is now trying to "talk tough" on the topic of illegal immigration. Based on all the polls I'm seeing, it's heartwarming to know that the American people are REALLY seeing through this latest charade of his.

More than any other issue, this is why George W. Bush is the most traitorous President in American history. He's had five years and counting to stem the flow of illegals coming in across the border. He has done worse than sat on his spoiled, arrogant butt and done nothing: he's literally invited more illegals to come across and add to our already overly-burdened economy and infrastructure. So the mid-term elections are coming up next year and illegal aliens are fast becoming a hot-topic item - that very well might topple the Republicans' hold in the House and Senate - so only now does he try to make it look like he gives a damn. And what do you know: he's talking about STILL having more immigrants come over.

In a sane world, where laws are upheld, Bush would have been hunted down by a posse and shot dead in the streets for this outrage. No wonder when it comes to security he's the most frightened President ever.

No, I'm not sorry. This weak little man is a disgrace to the office of President and on this issue alone, he ranks as the worst President ever. And none of his supporters can possibly defend him on this. Not no way, not no how.

I would say that it feels great to be able to gloat about this, but watching your own country's sovereignty disappear bit by bit while its "leaders" do squat is not something anyone should relish watching. All of you who voted for Bush: you were fooled. If you still would vote for him, you are the worst of fools. Now try and explain this travesty away. I dare you.

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Review of Walk The Line

There's a moment in the music video of "Hurt" that has anguished me to look at from the first time I saw it. June Carter Cash - just months before passing away - watching her husband Johnny sing his balladic paraphrase of Ecclesiastes. If you've seen the video, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, do whatever it takes to see it. It's been called the most haunting music video ever: when Trent Reznor - the originator of "Hurt" - saw this, it made him break down sobbing.

The look on her face... man, how do I describe this? It's like she's trying to tell him "Johnny, why are you doing this to yourself?" Johnny Cash, in the twilight of his life, reflecting on empty materialism and the inevitability of loss. Brief flashes from his legendary career: tender moments with June to the bars of Folsom Prison. Bits of action like jumping on moving trains and his movie roles: "Stay the hell away from me you hear!" The video closes with Cash's fingers resting on a piano, closing the cover over the keys. Almost like a coffin lid.

They say that some people preach their own sermon. With "Hurt", Johnny Cash sang his.

I watched "Hurt" yesterday afternoon, just before leaving for the theater with Lisa and Dad - who I said before is just about as big a Johnny Cash fan as they come - to catch the new Cash biopic Walk The Line. Don't know why I did that. I could have listened to some of his songs. One of my favorites is "Sunday Morning Coming Down": only Cash could have sung about having a hangover so well. Or listened to "Ring of Fire" or "I Walk the Line". Something from the height of his career. Instead I chose to watch him reflect on his life for what was to have been the final time. Guess I wanted to examine him from both extremes of his chronology yesterday afternoon. And, I think it had a lot of that effect. Maybe starting it out with something so admittedly depressing is what made me leave Walk The Line believing that in the end this movie is something so powerful and uplifting. About things like life and love, and redemption for one's self.

Starring Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon, Walk The Line depicts the first thirty-odd years of Cash's life, from growing up in rural Arkansas up to the beginning of his marriage with June Carter. The film opens in 1968, minutes before Cash (Phoenix) began recording his live concert at Folsom Prison. A table saw in the prison's woodshop triggers a flashback in Cash's mind: 1944 and a young J.R. Cash listening with his brother Jack to the Carter Family on the radio, with Johnny picking out 14-year old June's voice. We are introduced to Johnny's father Ray - played by Robert Patrick, who has come a long way as an actor from an already great role he had as the T-1000 in Terminator 2: Judgement Day - and mother Carrie (Shelby Lynne). It's not long afterward that we witness the event that dwelled on Cash's mind for the rest of his life: brother Jack nearly cut in two by the table saw in the woodmill that he worked in, lingering long enough to tell his family about seeing Heaven.

From there we watch as Cash enlists in the Air Force in 1950, where stationed in Germany he begins writing some of his first songs, including "Folsom Prison Blues" after watching a movie about the place. He uses time for calls back home to try and woo young love Vivian (Ginnifer Goodwin) into marriage. Upon return to the states the two marry and live in Memphis, where Cash struggles to both make it as a salesman and fulfill his dream of being a musician. Accompanied by Luther Perkins and Marshall Grant, the "Tennessee Two" (played by Dan John Miller and Larry Bagby), the trio summons up the nerve to approach Sun Records about cutting an album. The execs tell Cash that his style of gospel just won't sell, that he needs to come up with something new... something that he would sing if he only had enough time to live to sing just one song... for them to take an interest. Cash accepts the challenge. He comes home to Vivian to tell her that they made a record.

For a long time after that, Walk The Line becomes not just a movie about Cash, but about all the talent that came from the legendary Sun studios in the mid-1950s. We watch as Cash tours with Jerry Lee Lewis (Waylon Malloy Payne, playing "The Killer" much more outrageously than Dennis Quaid did in my opinion), Roy Orbison (Johnathan Rice), Carl Perkins (Johnny Holiday), and Elvis Presley, played with a considerable amount of conviction by Tyler Hilton. Also along for the tour is June Carter (Witherspoon).

You needn't be told by me about what happens after that: Johnny and June become increasingly smitten with each other, despite the fact that both are married (and then remarried, in Carter's case). Johnny's introduction to - and then dependency on - amphetamines and other drugs. The toll that the constant touring and longing for June have on both Johnny's career and life with his family... especially on Vivian, from whom Johnny becomes increasingly estranged. The inevitable crash of both personal life and public career. Cash's struggle to regain some semblance of both. His idea of recording a live album in front of the inmates at Folsom. And finally the long-percolating union of Johnny and June in marriage. The final scene seemed a little abrupt for me, at first. Then I realized that this is what Cash had been wanting all along: togetherness with a family. It ends at just the right point, and tells us that Johnny and June had a long and beautiful life together before both died within months of each other in 2003.

There are a few other movies that I'm hoping to catch this next month - King Kong, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Syriana, maybe one or two more - but weighed against everything else that I've seen during the past eleven months, Walk The Line is by far the best movie I've seen all year. This is easily the best work that Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon have ever done. Phoenix, it took me awhile to really accept that he is playing Johnny Cash here, and that has to do with a few things that are easily outside the producers' control. But let's face it: it's going to be impossible to find someone who looks and sings exactly like Cash. If you can suspend your disbelief only a degree or two, Phoenix really does become Johnny Cash... or at least as close as anyone is apt to get. Witherspoon is an absolute delight as June Carter. I don't give that much merit to the Oscars, but it really would be a travesty if she isn't nominated for Best Actress for this. In a rational world Robert Patrick will get nominated for Best Supporting Actor (competing against Ian McDiarmid from Star Wars Episode III) for his role as Ray Cash. Just about darned nearly everything is perfect in this film: the acting, the music, the costuming and scenery, the pacing... it all really felt like they were pages taken from Cash's life. Like his proclivity toward performing for incarcerated felons: that wasn't just a "stunt" he did a few times. After the movie Dad told us about he and Mom going to watch Johnny Cash perform at the Greensboro Coliseum about thirty years ago. The entire place was packed except for this one entire section of seats toward the front. Dad said they remained totally empty until five minutes before the show started: dozens of inmates were escorted in under armed guard and shown to the seats, from which they got to enjoy Johnny Cash live in concert. Dad said they remained there until just about everybody else had left, and then they were taken en masse to the buses that drove them back to the local prison. I have to wonder how many concerts in his career did Cash do that for those in prison. It really must have been thought of by him as being an act of Christian charity.

And speaking of which, there are a few things that I wasn't completely satisfied about with Walk The Line, though. If there is a fault with Walk The Line, it must be that it gives very sparse attention to Cash's deep spiritual life. There were four things that defined Johnny Cash: June, his family, his flirtations with excess, and his faith in God. We watch the first three as they lay down their part in the solid foundation of Cash's life, but surprisingly little is shared about his departure from, and then his later intense return to, his profoundly strong belief in Christ. Given their deep friendship and since everybody else - from the Sun execs to Waylon Jennings - is depicted, I was seriously expecting the Rev. Billy Graham to be portrayed in this movie somewhere. That doesn't happen. And Johnny Cash's more spiritual moments are reduced to minor lines about gospel music and one fleeting scene of he and June entering a Baptist church together during his drug rehab. I wanted there to be more about his spiritual life. You see, in a lot of ways I see Johnny Cash as being the perfect example to me of what it means to be a real Christian. I mean, he was a believer, and so am I. But he went his own way in this world, and not necessarily the way that "proper" Christianity most often preaches. He struggled with his faith. Sometimes during those struggles he skirted too close to the darkness. There were moments that he could seem petty, even cruel. That wasn't the real Johnny Cash though. It never was. But to be the person that God made him to be, he couldn't shy away from confronting his faults and weaknesses. To Johnny Cash it wasn't being weak that was the weakness, it was being unwilling to admit to being weak. He not only admitted those foibles, he embraced them with relish. Through his music he gained power over those flaws. It made him not just a Christian, but what I call an "outlaw Christian". And really, is there supposed to be any other way in which to live this life that some of us profess to live? I know there's only so much time in a two-hour plus film to cover a life of more than seventy years, but still... this was the principle cornerstone of Johnny Cash, and it deserved more than a few brief moments of story.

But if you can choose to accept that his faith did have the greater bearing on his life, as proven by how he found redemption from his sins and went on to have one of the most profound influences on American music that there has ever been, you will still find Walk The Line to be a masterpiece of the biographical genre. Some might compare it to last year's Ray, and I think there are some similiarities (the scene where Cash is busted for drug possession is a lot like what happens to Ray Charles in Ray), but there's really no comparing the two. They are two films about two men, each one as set apart from others as there is likely to ever be found. Don't go in expecting Ray. Expect something altogether different, but as brilliantly executed all the same.

Walk The Line is a true love story on so many levels, but especially between Johnny and June. Everything that my heart felt from watching the "Hurt" video, I felt was done justice by this movie. I really can't blame either Johnny or June for the errors in each of their lives that they had in the past. This is a movie about Johnny and June, and how they both came to move forward, toward forgiveness for each and then a life with each other.

If for no other reason, go see Walk The Line because it's an enormously entertaining movie. It has tenderness. It has tragedy. It has triumph. And it has some pretty darn funny scenes interspersed throughout: no other film ever made, I can almost certainly guarantee, will give you the image of Mother Maybelle Carter (Sandra Ellis Lafferty) confronting a drug dealer with a shotgun.

Finally, I guess one of the biggest reasons why Walk The Line impacted me so is that I got to share it with two of the people who figure among the greatest in my life: my wife, and my father. I'm especially proud that I got to watch Walk The Line with Dad. The last time we'd been able to catch a movie together was The Perfect Storm over five years ago. Admittedly, our tastes in film differ somewhat: he's never been able to understand why I love the Star Wars movies so much. And that's perfectly understandable. But ever since I first started hearing about Walk The Line I had good vibes that this would be a great movie that I could take my Dad to see, and that we could both enjoy it on the level of equals. I believed that my wife - whose profession is based in music - would enjoy this movie.

To director James Mangold, Phoenix and Witherspoon, and the Cash family for allowing this story to be told in this way, along with everyone else involved in making this movie: thank you. You delivered what I've already come to think of as being one of the most memorable experiences that I've ever had from going to see a movie. I felt that I'd come out feeling really proud about being able to share this with my wife and father, and you didn't let me down the least bit. Really appreciate it, folks. Hope with Walk The Line that you'll earn more Oscars than you've shelf-space to hold 'em on.

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Walk The Line review coming soon

Watched it earlier this afternoon along with Lisa and Dad, who's just about as big a fan of Johnny Cash as they come. This one put me away bigtime. It's rare for me to have to take a step back and collect my thoughts on something, but Walk The Line did that to me. It's too late to finish a review that would do it justice: I'm going to sleep on the rest of it. Later on I'll talk about what worked so well here, something that disappointed me about how Cash's life was portrayed, and some other thoughts about this movie. But trust me: it's well worth seeing during its run now in the theaters. Will post a real review of it tomorrow.

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Thanksgiving turkey 2005 and report on Marinade X

Here's the pics of the 15 lb. turkey I fried for this year's Thanksgiving, from before it was lowered into the oil and after...There was no noticable wind last night like what plagued us later on Thursday, so I fried the 6 lb. turkey breast that I had injected with "Marinade X": the first real experimental seasoning that I've cooked up. I'm not quite ready to reveal what was put into this concoction because I want to "tweak" it some more. However, it yielded an unusually tender bird: much moreso than it ever has when I've used regular garlic butter marinade. The taste was terrific, but not quite as strong as I was hoping for, hence my desire to work with it some more. But everyone seemed to like it a lot still.

I might be doing at least two full-sized birds next month for Christmas. Sometime before then I'm hoping to track down a bigger pot: I'm using 30 quart now but a 40 quart would be niiiice. That way I can fry bigger turkeys and it'll be somewhat more safe to work with.

Okay, off to see Walk the Line now. Enjoy your turkey leftovers y'all :-)

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What aren't "they" telling us?

A former Canadian minister of defense is warning of an "intergalactic war" between Earth and UFOs.

No need to worry. When the time comes we'll just send up Jeff Goldblum and his Apple notebook computer.

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"Season's Beatings"

73-year old Josephine Hoffman is shown here getting trampled on by maddened shoppers at a south Florida shopping mall early today. There've been several reports since this morning of people getting knocked down and beaten up on "Black Friday"... or "Black and Blue Friday" from the looks of it. I used to really like going out the day after Thanksgiving, if for nothing else than to just watch the people start going about their Christmas shopping. For the past two years at least I've read a lot of stories like this one, and it's gotten so the day just doesn't have any more joy for me. It says a lot about how materialistic we've become when we make buying "things" more important than being considerate of other people.

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Mister Miyagi screams "BONZAI!" for the last time: Pat Morita has passed away

This just reeks. I'm literally at a loss for the words I'm looking for to convey how low my heart feels right now. Being a child of the Eighties, Mister Miyagi was one of my heroes. One minute he was this cute little handyman trying to catch houseflies with chopsticks. The next he was this engine of rage karate-chopping hoodlums into pain and agony. "Wax on, wax off!" The guy became, I think it's safe to say he became a genuine archetype of wise master, right up there with Gandalf and Obi-Wan Kenobi.

But if Mister Miyagi became all those things, so much more so was the man who portrayed him. There was a time when Pat Morita was everywhere. I think at one point he was in just about as many commercials as Bill Cosby. Heck back in the day he was even a regular on Sanford and Son and Happy Days. Whatever he did, Morita always seemed nothing less than sincere about who he was, and it always went back to being that sweet little man with the humble voice and noble eyes. Who just as much as he could kick tail, he could make us think a little, and laugh a lot.

Darn it's hard writing about this.

I just found out a few minutes ago that Pat Morita has died. He was 73. He had as full a life as anyone could possibly have: going from detainee in a Japanese-American internment camp during World War II, to restaurant owner and computer industry worker, to professional actor and finally beloved American icon. Here's the story from the Associated Press via Yahoo! My friend Chad just posted a really neat tribute to Morita over at his blog too. I imagine a lot of people are going to be stopping today to remember this man who figured so greatly in our pop culture's mind.

Rest in peace, sensei Morita. And bonzai!

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HBO may deny Rome a second season?!?

Ain't It Cool News is reporting that HBO - which apparently had previously greenlit a second season of Rome - may now be having second thoughts on any further installments of the hit show.

If HBO did this, they will have truly joined the ranks of the galactically stupid. Rome is one of the best shows on TV right now, maybe even one of the best ever attempted. The producers have taken already great history and turned it into a well-executed bloodthirsty gangster drama: like I said before, it's The Sopranos B.C. The show has only gotten better as it's progressed, the detail is opulent beyond belief, the action sequences are stupendous, and Titus Pullo is now officially one of the most serious bad-a$$es in television history (I'm still hearing "Thirteen!" in my head after the episode "The Spoils"). HBO had darned well better not cancel Rome!! But then, they had already cancelled Carnivale: another show that was one of the very few actually worth your valuable time watching. I'm still dying to see how THAT was going to all resolve itself. Now it looks as if we won't see the aftermath of Caesar's assassination play out. Well, what else can I say: if this is true, "Screw you HBO!"

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Happy Thanksgiving! And an after-action report

First of all, hope you and yours are having a really terrific holiday today...Oh yeah, Lisa was sent something that I think is just too darned hilarious not to make a mention of. Mash down here for a really wicked Flash movie that's just perfect for this day.

The main turkey we were using for Thanksgiving dinner today came out very beautiful. It not only looked terrific, it was by far the best one I've yet done. I left my camera at my parents' house though, so I can't upload the pictures of it just yet. Will pick it up tomorrow and post then.

The second bird, the smaller turkey breast that I juiced-up with Marinade X - my highly experimental concoction - couldn't be done today. We had a dilly of a time keeping the burner going in spite of the fierce winds we had today. It was nice today for the most part: unseasonably warm for this time of November. But the wind was a #&@%. Although we got the first bird done, when we came back after dinner to fry up the second it was just too windy to sustain a flame. We're going to try again tomorrow (and marinade another one with regular garlic butter).

Otherwise though, it was a pretty good Thanksgiving. We came home with plenty of leftovers, including turkey (yum!) and practically an entire German chocolate pie. Lot of good family getting together at my aunt and uncle's joint. Plenty of kids running around and this time there was some asking about when Lisa and I would be making our own contribution to that. Heh-heh... who knows, maybe sooner than anyone realizes... parse that as you will ;-)

Okay, hope y'all are doing well this Thanksgiving 2005. Now remember to get to bed early tonight: the stores open early tomorrow (during which I'm going to try to stock up on plenty of Star Wars action figures :-) Sees ya later!

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"Marinade X"

The above syringe is my biggest turkey injector. It contains a substance that until a few hours ago had never existed in the history of mankind. I have no idea how this is going to work. It could make a turkey extremely delicious... or not. It's definitely not the usual marinade (for which I used Tony Chachere's brand of Creole style butter for the main Thanksgiving turkey). I'm somewhat reluctant to admit right now what exactly went into this strange brew, apart from being able to say that butter was one of the necessary ingredients. The test subject is a six-pound turkey breast, so if this screws up the damage won't spread to the main dinner table: a fifteen pound full bird has that honor. We'll see how well this experimental formula does when we take it out of the fryer later today. Pray I don't kill anyone or myself with the mysterious Marinade X.

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TURKEY FRYING SAFETY: How to measure out your oil

Accidents involving turkey frying usually have one of the following three causes: leaving the fryer unattended (which should NEVER be done), trying to use the fryer indoors or beneath a shelter (often made of combustible material like wood, which is sorta like putting Drew Barrymore onboard the Hindenburg), or having an excess of oil in the pot that you are frying the bird in. And more often than not that last one happens because somebody didn't think twice about filling up the pot with as much oil as was readily available... without considering the displacement there would be after the bird was lowered in. Put simply: you don't need all that much oil to thoroughly (and safely) fry a bird in. Fortunately, there is a simple trick that you can do to accurately gauge how much peanut (or cottonseed, or in some cases vegetable) oil you'll actually need.

Before doing anything else with your turkey, while it's still wrapped-up in its plastic bag, put it in the bottom of your pot. Then start pouring cold water into the pot (I use a tea jug). Pour enough water in so that you can cover the top of the bird, plus maybe an extra inch more, but not much more (this is to accommodate for the base of the spit that you will have the turkey skewered onto). You should come several inches from the top of the pot. Then remove your turkey from the pot, and give the water a little bit of time to settle. At the water line, take a pencil and draw a dark-enough mark showing the depth of the water minus the bird. Then pour the water out. Here's some pics of me doing this earlier tonight...

You now have an accurate measure of how much oil you'll need to pour into the pot when it comes time to fry, that will allow for the extra mass of the bird when you add it to the cauldron.

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Thirty minutes into tonight's Lost...

It must be said: Ana Lucia is THE most trigger-happy character on television in the history of anything. What is this, like three or four times she's pulled a gun out on someone in less than a half-hour? Somebody knock this crazy woman out before she gets EVERYONE killed!

EDIT: It's now 9:52, a few minutes after we got to watch Ana Lucia put something like thirty seven bullet holes in some punk. Oh well... at least now we know something about why she's miffed at everything. Good episode.

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Sound and fury: Choosing the music is part of the ritual

I'm going to be posting a lot about the turkey frying tomorrow this night and into the morning. Partly, it's to share any experience or bits of wisdom I've picked up along the way that has to do with this. Although I've been frying for three years, I spent three years before that just reading up on it, and trying to convince myself that I really could do something this crazy. And partly, it's because for me this really has become an exquisite form of art. Turkey frying is really the only thing that we here in America have that's comparable to the Japanese art of preparing fugu. Unless you consider that if you mess fugu up, you don't usually burn up everything around you in the process...

Three years into our marriage and, I think this has become the first real tradition of our own little family. Someday my own son might want to try this, and I'll be there, showing him how to clean the bird, how to inject it with marinade, and then how to prepare the fryer and drop it into the oil. Something like carving the Thanksgiving turkey, only much more unforgiving of mistakes. This is going to be a "coming of age" ritual, a thing that marks passage into manhood, sorta. I think of myself as a pretty good fryer, and someday I will pass it on to those that will follow. Something like how my Dad has passed along the art of making knives to me (although I'm NOWHERE near as good as Dad :-)

Anyway, this tradition has already developed into a certain ritual that must be followed. I always wear my long-sleeved denim shirt. Always have on a good pair of boots. I wear hat and sunglasses while doing this. And there is always some background music blaring from the speakers of my car's stereo system.

In 2002 it was the soundtrack for The Fellowship of the Ring. In 2003 and 2004 I used the soundtrack for The Return of the King. Tonight I decided that in keeping with the theme of flames and searing heat, and that this being 2005, I am going to fry my birds to the soundtrack from Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. By the time it comes to "Battle of the Heroes" it should REALLY be coming along good, with those blasts of steam impregnated with the smell of marinade rising from the fryer.

Okay, off to watch Lost while the garlic butter sets in. More later.

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And so, it begins: This year's round of turkey-frying accidents

Bird #1 just received the first dose of marinade: the traditional garlic butter. Pumped nearly three bottles of the sauce into that turkey. I'll be working throughout the night making this just right to go into the hot oil tomorrow morning. Later on comes the cajun rub and more marinade. Bird #2 is a turkey breast that I'm making the subject of a somewhat experimental marinade. I've brewed up a diabolical concoction that, the theory is anyway, will render a VERY delicious bird. If this goes well I'll try it on a bigger bird come Christmas.

(BTW, special thanks to my good buddy lowbridge for posting on Free Republic my article from last year's Thanksgiving. You a good dude lowie :-)

Now, if you follow some pretty simple precautions, turkey frying can be relatively safe. You just gott be careful throughout the whole process. You must practice, as "Mad-Eye" Moody liked to scream out in the Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire novel, "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" And fortunately most turkey frying goes off without a hitch. But then, every year, we get stories like this: from the Register-Guard...

Fryer Smokes Bird, New House
By Rebecca Nolan
The Register-Guard
Published: Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Construction workers using a deep-fryer to cook a turkey Tuesday for an early Thanksgiving celebration burned a house they had just finished building.

The feast is an annual tradition for the crew, which was working at the Cozy Homes development on Mallory Lane, off Coburg Road in Eugene.

Cement worker Henry Schmerber bought a new propane fryer for the occasion and set it up inside the garage of the vacant house. Workers took turns watching the kettle.

But the fryer's thermometer was broken, and the oil inside got too hot, the workers said. The kettle started smoking and the lid rattled, as though the peanut oil inside had reached a boil.

Schmerber ran inside the garage and turned off the gas, but it was too late.

"The lid popped off," he said. "There must have been oil on it, because it hit the burner and ignited it."

The hot oil burned through the rubber propane line. Flames spread through the garage and up the front of the house, into a second-story room.

"The flames were as tall as the house," Schmerber said.

The men fought the blaze with a fire extinguisher, but the foam had no effect.

Eugene District Fire Chief Paul Dammen said the fire caused about $75,000 in damage. In all, 17 firefighters helped put out the blaze. The house was unsold, and the loss was insured.

Charred wood, insulation and other materials lay in a pile on the driveway. The front of the light green house was scorched and a twisted ceiling fan was visible through a shattered upstairs window, its blades warped by the heat.

Like an increasing number of Americans, Schmerber and his co-workers like the taste of deep-fried turkey. The technique began in the southern states and has gained popularity over the years. Cooking time is shortened and the meat stays juicier, advocates say.

Use of the fryer units remains controversial.

State Fire Marshal Nancy Orr on Monday urged Oregonians to use the fryers outdoors only and to keep an eye on the unit at all times.

"It's dangerous to use them on wooden decks or in garages," she said in a written statement.

The National Fire Protection Association's Web site discourages consumers from using deep fryers. (comment from me: WIMPS!!!)

The group warns heating as much as five gallons of oil to 350 degrees or more poses a "significant danger."

"The use of turkey fryers by consumers can lead to devastating burns, other injuries and the destruction of property," the group says.

But even after the fire, the men on Mallory Lane were determined to have their bird. They bought a second fryer and planned to cook up their feast later Tuesday afternoon in the backyard of a house across the street.

"We're gonna burn another house down," Schmerber joked.

Somehow I have the urge to start chanting "The Roof" after reading this story :-P

EDIT: Y'see, this is why you wanna be real careful when you play around with one of these things...

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From LP, to cassette, to CD... to USB flash drive?

The Barenaked Ladies are releasing their newest album, Barenaked on a Stick, on a 128 MB USB flash drive. The $30 drive includes 29 songs in MP3 format, photos, videos, and much more. The drive can play on PCs, Macs, and a lot of the newer audio equipment like some car stereos that have a USB port built-in.

For awhile now I've wondered what - if anything - might possibly supplant the CD as a medium for offline music purchases. I'm still not sold on buying my audio online: call me old-fashioned but I like having something tangible that I can hold in my hand for my money. It's way too early to see if this is really going to be a serious threat to CD, but this is still a pretty neat idea that the Barenaked Ladies have hit upon.

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Book review: Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader

This is one I've been hankering for ever since news about it came out this past spring. Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader by James Luceno is the first Star Wars novel to come out that's set in the time immediately following the events of Revenge of the Sith. It came out yesterday and I bought a copy after leaving work. It was a gripping enough read that I just finished it after plowing through it all this past evening. In Dark Lord, Luceno chronicles the first few weeks in the life of Darth Vader after he was "resurrected" on the slab in Darth Sidious' medical facility. And there's a certain grim humor that Luceno works into the story here, as we learn just how pathetic Vader really is, despite the fearsome countenance of his famous armor. Turns out that the medical droids did a p*ss-poor job in attaching the prosthetic limbs to the former Anakin Skywalker. His chest unit isn't working properly, the fabric of the outfit either catches on the cyborg parts or it bunches up where it's not supposed to, and the entire thing - especially when Vader walks or is kneeling in the presence of the Emperor - is just too uncomfortable to wear or move around in. Throughout the book Vader spends a lot of time not only acclimating himself to his new condition, but dealing with the vestiges of his former life that still linger. We see how a lot of the characters are faring post-Sith, such as Bail Organa: walking a tightrope between feigning loyalty to the Emperor and furthering the liberty of his people... while also hiding his adopted infant daughter and a certain pair of droids from the dark lord's attention. A ton of detail is given in this book about the power structure of the Empire, including the logistical demands that come with creating a military - virtually overnight - that is strong enough to keep subdued an entire galaxy. There is a subplot in this novel involving several Jedi who have somehow managed to escape the calamity of Order 66, and this is handled quite nicely and - somewhat like Forrest Gump - becomes the portal through which we witness what's happened to the more notable characters of the saga. But otherwise this novel is pure Empire, pure Sith... and pure Vader. I've been a huge fan of Luceno's work for some time now (I even wound up sitting right beside him during a panel discussion at Star Wars Celebration II a few years ago... why oh why didn't I ask for his autograph then?!), he probably ranks with Timothy Zahn as my favorite writer of Star Wars fiction, and in Dark Lord he definitely does not disappoint. Highly recommended whomping good read for any Star Wars fan.

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Shattered record

We have some special software here at school used to teach and test typing skills. Because I'm going to be using this with a few of my students, I thought it would be a good idea to become familiar with it. So a little while ago I gave myself a typing test.

The last time I measured myself like this, it was maybe five or six years ago. Back then I was typing an average of 120 words per minute... on a good day.

Today my typing speed clocked in at a whopping 153 gross words per minute with 100% accuracy.

Given how I was nothing but thumbs all over the keyboard when I first took typing in high school years ago, I'm rather pleased to see how far I've come :-)

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Last soldier of the "Christmas Truce" has passed away

Alfred Anderson, the last known British soldier who partook in the "Christmas Truce" of World War I, has died at the age of 109.

On December 25, 1914, an unofficial truce broke out between the British and German soldiers along the western front. The two warring armies laid down their arms and met each other in the no man's land that separated the opposing trenches. They drank together, gave each other cigarettes, traded tunic buttons, sang Christmas carols together, even played soccer. In some places along the front the truce lasted for a few days. And then the commanders on both sides ordered their men to start fighting each other again. But for a little while, there really had been peace on Earth and goodwill toward men...

Alfred Anderson may very well have been the last man who could remember what happened that day 91 years ago. His death leaves only ten British veterans of the Great War still with us. Of the more than two million American doughboys who fought in the conflict, there are roughly 50 left and possibly even less than that. Their numbers dwindle with each passing year.

More than 16 million men and women served in the United States armed forces by the time World War II drew to a close. Of those, only a quarter or so are with us still. It is estimated that we are losing our World War II veterans now at the rate of about one thousand per day.

I read a few days ago that of the 705 survivors of the Titanic, only three of them - all women - are still alive.

It is estimated that there are approximately one million survivors of the Holocaust in the world today. Many of them live in Israel and the United States.

I know that I must be realistic, and acknowledge that none of us are meant to linger forever. And I do have faith that there is something much more that is awaiting us beyond this realm of crude matter... something wonderful, even. But as a historian it does sadden me terribly, knowing that one by one those who have connected us to some of the most significant events of the twentieth century are being taken from this world and into eternity.

Alfred Anderson, wherever you are: you've earned a good rest. Welcome home, soldier.

EDIT: I found a GREAT website that has full-color photographs from World War I! Check out www.greatwar.nl for some really vivid images of the war.

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Top geek novels of all time

The top 20 geek novels have been voted on by readers of the Guardian. I will admit to having read nine of these novels, including eight in the top ten. Some of these I've never heard of before. Others I've wanted to read at some point but haven't had a chance to do so yet. A few of these - like Nineteen Eighty-Four and Dune - I credit with playing a big part in my personal development. Am kinda surprised to see Watchmen here as it's not strictly a novel per se, but it easily ranks as one of the greatest works of English literature in the past 25 years, so it's got that going for it. Anyhoo, here's the complete list...

1. The HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy -- Douglas Adams
2. Nineteen Eighty-Four -- George Orwell
3. Brave New World -- Aldous Huxley
4. Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? -- Philip Dick
5. Neuromancer -- William Gibson
6. Dune -- Frank Herbert
7. I, Robot -- Isaac Asimov
8. Foundation -- Isaac Asimov
9. The Colour of Magic -- Terry Pratchett
10. Microserfs -- Douglas Coupland
11. Snow Crash -- Neal Stephenson
12. Watchmen -- Alan Moore & Dave Gibbons
13. Cryptonomicon -- Neal Stephenson
14. Consider Phlebas -- Iain M Banks
15. Stranger in a Strange Land -- Robert Heinlein
16. The Man in the High Castle -- Philip K Dick
17. American Gods -- Neil Gaiman
18. The Diamond Age -- Neal Stephenson
19. The Illuminatus! Trilogy -- Robert Shea & Robert Anton Wilson
20. Trouble with Lichen - John Wyndham

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Great Caesar's ghost! Tonight's Rome rocks!!

Well the credits are rolling right now on the final episode for this first season of Rome on HBO. I must say this show became far more wildly entertaining than I was first expecting it to be: it's like The Sopranos B.C. Can't say that tonight's events weren't totally unexpected. I mean, we know how history proceeded after Julius Caesar became emperor. Anyone who ever read Shakespeare's play in high school will remember how this unfolds. Yet the show's producers (which includes John Milius of Conan the Barbarian fame) still made this something that felt like you didn't see coming. Guess it had to do with how brutal they made the actual thing go down. Anyone who's been following the tale of Lucius Vorenus is going to get hit with a whammy too. The final scene showing Titus Pullo is a little bit of a surprise, given what happened a couple episodes back (remember that guy he gave the severe headache too?). Anyway, tonight's Rome really packs a whallop. Be sure and catch it when it encores on HBO during this coming week.

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"Who is Number One?"

From the "You have got to be kidding me!" files: a remake of the 1960s TV series The Prisoner is being worked on by Sky One over in Great Britain. It doesn't sound as if it'll be much like the original show though as "liberties" are being taken. My opinion: this one won't fly. The original The Prisoner is by far THE most bizarre thing ever done for television. If you want some seriously nutty watching just check out its final episode. And what the heck was that "Rover" thing anyway? I could see a The Prisoner movie being done in the tone of the original though, maybe starring George Clooney and featuring special effects by ILM. But without the strangeness quotient anything new for television will get stale fast.

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Bush betrays Chinese Christians: Is state-sponsored church a real "church" at all?

CNN is reporting that President Bush attended services at a government-sanctioned church in China today. Which is odd because Bush does not attend services at any church while he is home in America, but I digress from the point of this discussion...

There are two kinds of churches in communist China. There are the "approved" state-allowed churches, and the only real reason that the Chinese government has lately tolerated any Christian churches at all is that it wants to improve its image in the lead-up to the 2008 Beijing Olympics. There are three "movements" making up the state-run churches: the Three-Self Patriotic Movement, the China Christian Council, and what passes as Catholicism in China. And guess what: all of them owe their first loyalty to the state, which has absolute control over the congregations. The government taps the pastors (it can even install priests in the Catholic churches without Vatican say-so), decides what will and what will not be preached, keeps everything pertaining to them on a tight leash. If you want to worship in a church in China without fear of reprisal, you have no choice but to enter the doors of a state-sponsored congregation.

And then there are the underground "house churches". Which from my perspective are the ONLY real Christian churches that exist in China. This is the true persecuted church in this world. Worshipping in a house church is an offense that can get you arrested, imprisoned, and sometimes even executed. Just a few days ago several Chinese "house Christians" were sentenced to lengthy prison terms for running an underground church and distributing illegal copies of the Bible.

The underground church in China is one of the most brutalized and hunted-down religious movements in world history. And yet the adversity is causing growth: the house churches are widely considered to be the most active and thriving churches in China, in spite of the threats facing it. Nonetheless, most Christians in China still face dire consequences if they are ever caught practicing their faith without license from the government.

By attending a state-run church, Bush has effectively thumbed his nose at those Christians who live by faith in God alone, instead of kow-towing to what other men would have them do. He even dared suggest that the state churches are smiled upon by God when he said at the service that "The spirit of the Lord is very strong inside your church."

Christians are supposed to be baptised in the name of God, and not in the name of any government. The moment they seek counsel from worldly authority as to how they are to approach God, they cease being of God and fall back under the spiritual jurisdiction of this carnal realm.

If President Bush wanted to act like a real leader - and especially a Christian leader - he would have rebuffed the state-sanctioned churches entirely. He would have readily understood that the church can not be an institution that acts with the approval of temporal government.But once again, the "leaders" of this country have shown a willingness to demonstrate that they seek to honor the god of this world, instead of honoring the God of Heaven. It is more important to Bush and too many other politicians that the Chinese government be placated for the vast market it controls, instead of made to answer for its harsh treatment of those who merely wish to serve and worship God as their consciences - and not their own politicians - would so lead them to do.

And some people wonder why it is that I am so disgusted with so many professing "Christians" in America.

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Scientology gets destroyed on South Park this week

This was getting so much word of mouth that I had to track down a copy and see it for myself. Dear Lord this week's episode is hilarious... and I hardly ever watch South Park at all. Titled "Trapped in the Closet", Matt Stone and Trey Parker showed they got brass ones for taking on the most ridiculous "religion" of all: Scientology. Stan spends over two hundred dollars getting an "e-meter" reading from the church and pegs the thing as an OT-9, leading the church to believe that Stan is the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard. Funniest moments: when Scientology's "secret doctrine" is shared with Stan, we watch a depiction while "THIS IS WHAT SCIENTOLOGISTS ACTUALLY BELIEVE" is overlayed atop it. The thing is this really IS what Scientologists believe! If you've ever read Xenu.net or know anything about "Scamintology" at all you'll understand why this episode is such a big deal. There's no way the Church of Scientology will sue Parker and Stone for doing this, and that's partly why I love this episode so much. Scientomogy has the episode in RealVideo format if you'd like to take a gander.

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Saturdays just won't be the same again: Kyle Williams signs off from WorldNetDaily

I don't know WHAT I'm going to do first-thing every Saturday morning from this point on. It had become an ingrained ritual that before anything else I would turn on the computer, point the browser to WorldNetDaily and read the newest column from Kyle Williams. I need to say this too: Kyle is not just an amazing writer, he is a truly wonderful young man that I have been immensely humbled to have the honor of having as a true friend. For four years he has been a wunderkind of the first order to behold. Today marks his final column at WorldNetDaily before taking his unique intellect into pursuit of other projects. He'll still have his blog though, which he better update often 'cuz some of us need our "fix" :-)

Kyle, good luck and God speed. And thanks for the lil' nod at the end of your column today: it seriously made my weekend!! :-)

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She won't last two months

Rugged individualist extraordinaire Claire Wolfe is cutting herself off from the Internet for one year. I'm thinking of doing this for one week, but for a year?! Here's hoping that she comes to her senses: we need her. But if she comes out better for doing this, then nothing but best wishes for her.

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Superman Returns teaser has been online since last night...

...and in the 24 hours since it debuted I've watched this, probably twenty times at least. This is the time of the year when the "teasers" for the next summer's blockbusters start appearing, giving us a taste of what's to come. Last year I especially remember the one for Revenge of the Sith and that downright disturbing one for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Well, after seeing the one for Superman Returns, I don't think I've been this jazzed about an upcoming summer release since the one for Spider-Man 2 a couple years back.What makes this so beautiful to me is how it uses both John Williams' classic Superman: The Movie music and some of Marlon Brando's dialogue from the original, alongside some images from the new movie. It's about as overwhelming a teaser as you're likely to behold in every way. Head over to the official Superman Returns website and check it out in full glorious Quicktime!

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Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire review

They just keep getting better and better. And darker and darker.

I hooked up with Darth Larry, his wife and several of their compatriots (a lot of 'em from UNC-Greensboro's music program) last night about 11 over at the Carousel Grande in Greensboro. Lots of youngish (i.e. 10-14 year olds) people. Plenty of folks in costume, including one girl who came as Moaning Myrtle, complete with toilet bowl lid around her neck: wish I'd brought my camera to get a pic of that. Otherwise it was mostly generic Hogwarts students/witch getups. Theater manager came out about five minutes before the show and asked everyone not to take pictures while the movie was playing. At 12:01 a.m. on the dot the promo slides ended and the trailers began.

The only two that really come to mind were the teasers for Happy Feet out a year from now (it looks like March of the Penguins on steroids) and Hoodwinked, which looks funny enough that I might have to check this out next month. Carousel Grande DID NOT HAVE the teaser for Superman Returns playing in front of Goblet of Fire as it was supposed to, which is a real darn shame because, I caught this trailer just before leaving for the theater and it is epic. Woulda been great to see it on the big screen :-(

And then came the movie...

Folks, it must be said early on that there is considerably much detail in this movie that went missing from the book. The opening chapters with the Weasleys arriving at the Dursley home to pick up Harry are gone, which I hated 'cuz that would have been a really funny thing to have seen on film. Prominently missing also is the entire "House Elf Liberation Front" subplot, which would have given Hermione much more to do in terms of her character. So too is the resolution of the entire Rita Skeeter thread. Maybe a few other things like that. Otherwise, if you can overlook those things, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is one heckuva good ride.

It basically does start out with the book's very first chapter, then jumps to the Quidditch World Cup, which was VERY well done: easily the most special-effects filled sequence in any Harry Potter movie to date. I'm wanting to see this movie again just to try and take in EVERYTHING that happens in these scenes. One thing I happened to notice that elicited a smile: when Minister Fudge is opening the ceremonies, take a look at Barty Crouch sitting behind him and to the right-hand side of the screen. The seat next to Crouch is empty. That detail isn't delved into anymore in the movie, but readers of the book will understand the significance of it.

Right after the World Cup final comes the Death Eaters attack. It's as scary as you might imagine it, but I'm making note of it because it's here that I first took notice of Patrick Doyle's score. The music that plays during the attack is malevolent and sinister... part of me wants to say it sounds positively Lovecraftian. This is just the first of many great pieces that are in this movie, including the later themes for Beauxbatons and Durmstrang, the music for the Triwizard events, and especially what is used for the Yule Ball. Doyle had a mighty baton to pick up after the work John Williams did for the previous three entries, but he really came through here. The Yule Ball music, that alone is going to drive me to purchase the soundtrack (assuming it has the piece by the Weird Sisters on it).

One of the real strengths of this movie is that all the characters, without any notable exception, are almost exactly as they were portrayed in the books, including the new ones. Whatever you envision as you read Goblet of Fire, that's how they will likely appear to you here. The one everyone is going to be talking about is Brendan Gleeson's portrayal of Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody, which was DEAD-on from the original novel, except I always envisioned him looking even more torn-up/brutalized. Barty Crouch Sr. is precisely how I saw him in the book: right down to the icy stare he gives as he disowns his only son and sentences him to Azkaban. And speaking of Barty Crouch Jr., David Tennant does a wicked job bringing him to life: he's sort of like the Charles Manson Family member of the Voldemort crew. This is really going to be Tennant's season to shine: he takes on the role of the Doctor full-time during next month's Doctor Who Christmas special, and I'm seriously looking forward to what he does with the character.

Richard Harris was a great Dumbledore in the first two movies. And Michael Gambdon did a pretty good job taking over after Harris died. But here in Goblet of Fire, Gambdon comes into his own completely. He is Dumbledore, Lord willing now and forever, and he brings an incredible combination of both tenderness and ferocity to the role.

This is the best Hagrid that Robbie Coltrane has been since the original. It's an absolute delight watching the romance blossom between him and Madame Maxim.

Fans of Neville Longbottom: this is your movie. He has come a long way as a character, and a deeper one than most might have suspected at that. The scene in Moody's class, where we see Neville recoil in anguish at seeing use of the Cruciatus curse: we're never told why it is in the movie that he reacts this way, though if you've read the books you know better. Terrific, subtle set-up for future movies, that is. But most of all I really had to smile at how of all the leading young male student characters, it was Neville who had the best time at the Yule Ball.

Speaking of THAT, the Yule Ball might be my favorite scene in the whole movie. It's just fun to watch. Except for poor Harry and Ron, who look so wasted you'd think they're smashed on booze. Ron looks particularly horrible: that tuxedo looks like it was stolen from Liberace's corpse. In stark contrast Emma Watson looks positively STUNNING as Herminone in this scene. She has really become a very lovely young lady.

Viktor Krum and Fleur Delacour... apart from Krum's appearance at the World Cup and their competing in the tournament, there wasn't nearly enough time given to these two. Or to their schools for that matter. I was looking forward to seeing more from the other two wizarding schools out there. But it's a long book and there's only time to show so much. Clémence Poésy is really sweet as Fleur in the scenes she's in though, and Stanislav Ianevski's Viktor Krum... well, he just rules, man. Of all the new characters, he's the one I would have loved to have seen more of, especially at the World Cup. There's a REASON Krum is so well renowned in the books, and we didn't really see why in the movie. But based on Ianevski's portrayal of him, I'll trust that it's there.

Ralph Fiennes as Voldemort. If he had more screen time he would have out-uglied Emperor Palpatine as the year's most evil villainous creep. We see Voldemort in two forms: "Baby Voldemort" before Wormtail throws him in the reviving cauldron, and then "Mega-Gollum" full-size Voldemort. I can now finally believe in Voldemort as being the supreme bad guy of this story. We didn't see enough of him in Sorceror's Stone and that wasn't really the full-bore Voldemort we caught in Chamber of Secrets. Like so many other characters in this chapter, Voldemort has come into his own, and Fiennes brings every ounce of his ability at playing pure evil to the role. Can't wait to see what he does with the character in the Order of the Phoenix movie.

As for Harry, Ron and Hermione, the trio that this story has revolved around: they are maturing quite nicely if aging a little too quickly. Harry is maturing especially. Daniel Radcliffe is letting Harry become more and more edgy, by the end of the movie he's definitely on the path toward full-tilt grim that we know he's embarked upon by the end of Order of the Phoenix. It is going to be excruciatingly painful to watch what he does when Half-Blood Prince comes around. I'm almost dreading it, knowing the storm of you-know-what that he's yet to face.

Sirius Black is given one brief scene. In a fireplace. And that's it. I wanted to see seriously more Sirius this go-round. Especially after knowing what happens to him in the next chapter. I wanted to see more of Viktor Karkaroff and Severus Snape. Come to think of it, apart from maybe two scenes Snape has hardly anything to do in this movie. Oh well, Alan Rickman's time is coming soon enough...

The effects work in Goblet of Fire are sensational. Maybe even more beautiful than those used in Revenge of the Sith. The arrival of the two schools' contingents is exactly how I thought it would look like, and the tournaments trials - especially the dragons and the mer-people - were pure eye candy.

Geez, what else is there to say about Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire?

How about that it's dark. Not as overwhelming as Revenge of the Sith was, but there is real tragedy that comes into the story here. We see a really wonderful character introduced, Cedric Diggory, and he's made out to be every bit the nice, upstanding young man. The kind of young man that any father would wish his son to grow into. And he gets taken away without any damned reason why. Folks, I gotta tell you: the movie made Diggory's death hurt more than how it was done in the book. And that's saying a lot. There's a horrible sense of foreboding by the end of the movie, but a kind of hopefulness as well. I'd say that Goblet of Fire is The Empire Strikes Back of the Harry Potter saga: it ends on something of a cliffhanger in that the bad guys have apparently won this round, but it's not a horribly *lingering* cliffhanger. There's still hope to be found yet. It is here that I thought Dumbledore had his best scene in the movie. And it ends on good terms - or at least as good as you can expect things after the tragedy - for Harry, Ron and Hermione.

What else can I say about this?

Well, as I said before, it doesn't have EVERYTHING in the book that I'd wished it had. But given the constraints of time, the movie is still a very elegant dance to behold. Definitely worth catching at least twice in the theaters. I'll give it 9 stars out of 10, if I were ranking it on that kind of scale. And I'm absolutely looking forward to watching it again.

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Goblet of Fire midnight showing tonight

I'll be catching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire at midnight tonight along with Darth Larry (who word on the street has it is playing a mean cello in a production of H.M.S. Pinafore today at UNC-Greensboro). He called about it the other day and I said "sure" way before it registered with my brain how long this movie is going to be. At more than three hours this'll put us WAY into the morrow's dawn, definitely territory I haven't been in since the last Lord of the Rings movie. We'll see if my system can still hold up after teaching all day today, then something else that won't have me back home 'til 8, then the flick and then back teaching again tomorrow and possibly seeing Goblet of Fire again tomorrow night with my wife. Nice to know that even with added responsibilities I'm still up for crazy stunts. We're also hoping to catch Walk the Line this weekend, so expect maybe a double-barreled movie review coming up in a few days.

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Clips from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe soundtrack hit online

SoundtrackNet has clips from each track from the soundtrack of The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe that you can listen to. Know this though: listening to these demands that you have absolutely the latest version of Quicktime on your system. I installed a new version just a few weeks ago, and I still had to upgrade it tonight to get this to work. You also may need to refresh the pop-up window that has the clip. And even then, it was extremely slow to begin playing. But from what we heard so far (clips from "The Blitz, 1940" and "The Wardrobe") it sounds pretty good. Not as resonating as the music from the 1979 animated version though, which I'm especially thinking of the score that plays during the stag hunt: undoubtedly one of the most hauntingly beautiful compositions I've ever heard in my entire life. Believe me, it would be well worth buying the DVD of this just to listen to that one track. But this is just a tiny portion of the entire score from the 2005 version: I'll reserve full judgement until I can listen to it all, accompanying what transpires onscreen. In the meantime, whet your appetite on these snippets!

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We watched The Jerk tonight on AMC

Lisa had never seen this before until tonight. I'd last caught it maybe ten years ago and had forgotten how funny this is. It's sort of more uplifting now for some reason. Lisa likes to tell me that I'll probably look like Steve Martin in another ten years or so: that's an encouraging thought I guess :-) Anyhoo, pretty good comedy in case you've never caught it before.

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